When my siblings and I were young but old enough to make our own "play dates” we still had to answer to the two who ruled our lives. To them we had to say explicitly every detail of that social engagement: who, when, for how long. What was the purpose? Make sure you call and remember, that if there was any problem, just give them a call and we would be picked up.
Most of the time we would moan and groan as if the direst of requirements and limitations were placed upon us. We would claim we were old enough to make these decisions without reporting every detail. Without giving them a 'certified' list of who is going to be there. Most of the time we tried to get away with an answer of 'everyone from all over' is going to be there. Hence, we were entitled to be part of that everyone from all over. Most of the time, there were no issues but sometimes there were, and we would huff and puff re their cramping of our social lives. 'Unentitled' to the usage of their privileges as parents. Unnecessary. Yet there were times even as we demanded independence without checks, there were times when we were forbidden to do something and even as we sulked, we breathed a sigh of relief because we ourselves were not sure exactly what and whom we would find in that ubiquitous 'everyone from all over'.
Saved from ourselves.
Not surprisingly, we and our friends who also had been the 'victims' subjected to this 'nosiness', replicated it all when our children thought they were independent enough though not in the eyes of their parents. In fact, I will confess that to this very day when my children with fully grown children of their own, and these children have their own little ones, history repeats itself. The tendency for us is to ask, where are they going that day? What will they be doing? Who will be there? And what is the purpose of this event or meeting. Be sure to call us when you get there. And be sure to call us when you leave and are on your way home. And then, of course, when you get home. These days it does not necessarily have to be a phone call for texts work just as well.
At times we tried to rebel and sometimes succeeded. But it should be understood that to the very day of their death, in the last moments of their independent thoughts and thinking. those questions still arose and answers had to be given. We never, I never, at that point in time refused to answer. I gave them all the information they requested and explained what they did not understand. As for my own children well, read the above again.
So why am I writing this? Am I intending to give advice as to how to raise children? No, I am not. That is for the book that my son wrote "Parenting with a Plan" and quite successful at that.
No, I am writing this with a wider and grander scene in mind. That all ranks, all strata of society owe each other the sessions of questions and answers. It induces trust and reliability. It gives reassurance or provides the impetus to improve upon that which is projected into the worlds contained within the larger world which encompasses us all. It is in fact a necessity which is more ignored in the breach than in the keep.
The fact is that there is a mutual responsibility for questions to be asked and answers to be given. Along with further explication of the import of those very same questions and answers. Without those sessions societies will tend to waver and wander off-road into dangerous situations which become difficult to improve upon. That is not good for humanity at all.
Look at the alliances of the nations of the world today. It can be clearly seen when nations are hobnobbing with the worst of the nations, choosing bad friends likely to exacerbate hostile situations on all sides. There must be ways of clarifying which nations, which leaders, which are the ones that everyone from all over should choose to hang with.
Take the nations of the world today. Look at their current situations and then think: have we, the inhabitants of the nations of the world, enforced the necessity to ask these questions? To answer these questions and to be satisfied in beneficial and thoughtful manner? To have an evolving understanding which works for most, if not all?
The fact is that those who could fill the ranks of everyone from all over are not necessarily the ones from all over that we need to emulate, to be in contact with, to share and to learn with each other, for each other. There must be someone in charge. Yes, but whom and how? Is this a good person, a "Charles in Charge" who will save all with proper answers and solutions? Or have we joined ourselves, chained ourselves to those who do not ask the proper questions, who do not give proper answers to questions that are asked and who, in fact, refuse to engage in any proper give and take with any good endings possible.
This person in charge must have the benefit of the people relying upon him in mind They must be able to ask questions that might arouse some resentment which yet are questions that must be answered sometimes willingly, sometimes not.
The answer to and from those leaders must not be that same answer that avoids truth and allows for cover ups. That everyone from all over answer which ickles the bones of every parent I know. To give those answers hopefully in thoughtful and respectful manner with good intent in mind.
When we engage in that rather desperate way of governmental politics we end up with the nations of the world today. In these countries there is no good leader or committee in charge who will respectfully answer questions and pose proper questions. And respond with thought.
Where are those leaders, everyone from all over' which are touted about but are rather lacking and cannot fulfill the desperate need of mankind for these good people.
France. The UK. Ireland. Scotland. Spain. Portugal.
The United States of America. Israel. Etal.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow.
Why must we all be attracted to that which is wrong, to those who are incompetent, to those who have selfish ideas in mind.
Is this an inborn fallacy, a flaw within human nature, or is it the result of a free will given to us by the Lord Above who hopes to see His creations improve upon themselves rather than fall down to the depths of those evil everyones from all over.
So far humanity has been on the wrong track, way far off track. If we do not get our act together soon, immediately, if not sooner, the portents for this, for the future of this world, for a beneficial positive future for humanity are short. perhaps not even worth a solid bet.
Questions anyone?
Even better - answers anyone?