Growing up in NYC I never thought about civility. One answered a question, gave directions, and moved on. One did not become buddies with the stranger. As an adult, I read that this was a distinct NY characteristic, shrugged my shoulders and moved on. One was polite, but one did not exchange family histories.
Then came 9/11 and the change was amazing. Strangers held hands, talked and cried with each other, exchanged stories and experiences, shared emotions, and that was with strangers in the streets, in the parks where there were memorials, on the trains, simply standing in line. It was a polite and warm city and it was nice.
When we moved down here one of the things we loved best was how helpful and polite people were. Standing on a line could net you a new friend or two or at the very least, service with a smile. We laughed when people complained that people were rude down here. Hah!! They did not know the meaning of the word.
But today it seems the whole world has gone down this nasty side path, one where there are only cruel and cutting words, insults, damnations and yes, even hatred. How has this happened? Where did we get off the right path and how do we get back - is it even possible?
In my mind I see that politics led us here. There were always strong feelings in the realm of politics and families often split votes, but there has never been such a time when politics are off limits at family gatherings, at social gatherings. The explosive emotions politics brings out now is a terrible sight to see and hear.
I, and many others, trace this nastiness back to its source and its chief proponent - Trump. Does he do it knowingly or by nature or by disease? Take your choice, but the conclusion is simple. When the nastiness comes from the top, when others see this supposed role model dishing out the crudity, the what is there to stop them from going the same way. It is the childish excuse that "everyone else is doing it" ramped up on overdoses of uppers, steroid rage going national and mainstream - without the 'roids!
A major cause is also to be found in Twitter and its tweets, I am sorry, but one cannot express a well thought out opinion or remark in144 characters, no matter what abbreviations are used and these trains of tweets that Trump uses are even worse. There is no room in tweets for thought, for compromise, for decency, for good old fashioned civility. They are written to shock, to horrify and to hurt. Period.
Civility flies out the window when lies and untruths and such crazy terminology such as "post truth" or "alternative reality" are made up and used. The only alternative reality is that found in a science fiction world of parallel dimensions, not here in our earthly dimension. These terms only encourage the voicing of old hatreds, or the rearing of the ugly heads of eternal hatreds of the other. And this hatred comes now from both sides of the matter and understandably so. It is difficult to know whom to trust, who is normal, who has a working brain rather than a screaming mouth. And a silent brain.
What is the need for a statement that "the inmates are running the prison". Certainly that was not well thought out to say the least. Why do we scream that Black Lives Matter or its counter group White Lives Matter? Why can we not say that ALL Lives matter. Why do we have rallies of hate, especially among white supremacists and why do we forget that this hatred grows every day to encompass more and more within its odious boundaries.
And yet there is a strange phenomenon. Here in everyday life I see black and white, Jew and non Jew, Protestant and Catholic - all mixing together. All live within each other's bounds and all are Americans and why have we forgotten this? Why have we forgotten those classic WWII movies where there was the Italian from Brooklyn, the southerner, the Jew, the American Indian and the African American. Sure, they jostled each other in first greeting but then solidified into a group of Americans - what we all should be. Where has that ethic and ethos gone?
I will confess right here that I have used strong words and statements in my postings, horrified as I am at the daily insults that this man, Trump, and his cohorts, impose upon us. I shudder at the nastiness, at the corruption, at the turn of the clock back to politics in the dirty bathwater, in the contempt that these "public servants" have for their constituents, at the rampant greed among the highest in the administration and the awful message it sends down the line.
Perhaps even worse is the fact that this nastiness, this populism that damns all others, this nationalism that has reverted to nativism, is contagious and one sees it all over - be it France, Russia, the Crimea and Ukraine, Hungary, Poland, Britain, the African republics with their tribal warfare and yes, we have all devolved into tribes rather than countries. Civility has no place in these realities and yet unless and until civility does return and we actually open our ears and eyes and brains to the words and feelings of others, there will be no improvement. And here I will just insert my comment that the awful genocide and ethnic cleansing going on with the Rohingya in Myanamar is a throwback to other genocides and the world stands silent and the supposed figure for democracy stands there and even encourages it. Shame on her and on her countrymen. Shame on all those religious leaders who encourage hatred and murder, be they Buddhists here or imams elsewhere or ranting pastors or hateful rabbis.
We are all one under the eyes of G-d. Take the skin off and we are all the same so what difference does that pigmentation make? What difference does an accent make? I have no answers for myself, let alone my grandchildren who are bewildered by all this when they have been taught in their lives to be kind and helpful, to listen, to use words of aid and not hate.
Where has civility gone? Somewhere deep inside or thrown on the trash heap of society. Perhaps it is time we dig it back up and try it on for size. Nothing to lose and so much to gain.
No comments:
Post a Comment