MICHAEL, NEIL AND ME

     So it is time to come out of the closet. Gasp!!! No, not that closet. I am not a member of the LGBT community though I vehemently support it. This is a closet of yet another color, another issue and often not recognized as such, as a closet.
     Decades ago Michael J. Fox announced that he had PD, Parkinson's Disease. He was determined to be there in public, in the open, giving courage to so many who hid away with this, ashamed at some of the symptoms, afraid to let people know. But this man came out of this particular closet and gave his all to research for it, for help for those afflicted by or with it. He stood as an example for so many and his foundation continues its magnificent work, working on possible genetic links among other avenues.
     Yesterday, Neil Diamond, an icon of the music world, announced his retirement from the touring part of his life. It was a  shock to so many of us who are his fans, but he too came out in the open, determined to not hide, to help by being an example to and for others.
     It truly matters not which form of PD they have. What matters is what they do with the knowledge and the situation. I know. I am living it right now.
     I have long suspected that I had PD. There were too many little things that added up to it, but mostly when I brought it up I was poo-pooed, told not to be silly, not to be 'Dr. Google'. Finally came a crisis of what we thought was something else and in checking that, a neurologist was consulted. I was right. There it was in the definitive test. I had PD.
     I wanted to die. Right there and then. Where was a future in this? Would I end up frozen as that woman who haunted my nightmares from 40 years ago. Or would I end up a jittering person who could not walk, not talk, not truly function? Worst of all, would I lose my mind, that by which I defined myself, the being of me. How long did I have? Would I live to see my grandchildren marry and have children of their own, giving me a great grand baby to hold? And what about Gerry? We were coming up on our 50th and were planning a big shebang - was this my last hoorah? Why bother? Why indeed?
     The diagnosis was devastating. Depressed did not begin to cover the topic. The feeling. The emotion. But with a wonderful support team of family, friends and medical personnel, I was brought around to thinking that perhaps it is not the sentence of doom of yesteryear. Perhaps there was hope to live a normal and natural life. After all, how many more years does one have anyway at my age and older? Just a bit of my dark humor!!!
     I opened up to a theory of movement, big open moves, challenges to one's physical state of being, paid attention to how I walked, talked, swallowed, lifted, moved in general. I took a movement class every week. A pounding class - fun and great exercise for everyone. I heard the stories of people who told me that a year ago they could not walk or talk, barely, and look at them now. It was amazing. And I heard the unvoiced pleas of my kids, of Gerry, to please, listen, please open up, please have a positive outlook, an optimistic one for that is so important to dealing with this disease.
     And there I was, welcomed into a new family, where I spent so much time now. They took me, a depressed, weepy not really optimistic person, took me into their hearts, determined to 'fix' me, to encourage me and these kids are great!! Beyond words.
     So now I laugh. Now I am back at enjoying life again. I have truly learned not to sweat the little things and even have repackaged some once larger things into smaller containers. Life is precious. But we do not ever know what will happen. It is no use thinking or wondering why and how, why me? It just is. And it does not take away from the fact that life can still be great.
     So sympathy, yes, but pity, no. We PD people need to come out, open up, show the world and others, show PD afflicted people that there is a way, there are meds, there are methods, there are new things every day. The Michael J. Fox Foundation and the National Parkinson Foundation are doing wonderful things in both research and in helping people to understand PD, how to live with it, how to overcome it, how to live life with continued joy and with hope. They are worthy of your donations.
     So Michael, Neil and I and Ali and all the football players with PD and all the regular everyday people - we are and will be okay. We will not be in closets hiding this anymore for there is nothing to hide. Yes, life has changed some of the focus, but it is still a good life.