EQUANIMITY

     What is it? It is defined as "a state of mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in times of crisis." Oh, to have that feeling once more. Oh, to one day wake up and find oneself in a moment of zen, of equanimity. Such a luxurious dream, one that I am beginning to fear will never again see the light of day, at least in the short and even the long foreseeable future.
     What has gone wrong? I know I can remember moments when I felt as if the term "my cup runneth over" applied specifically to me. All was right with my world and even if it were to be disturbed, a state of equanimity was possible, as I knew I lived in a world with a great deal of sanity, thus positive outcomes and endings could be achieved. So what has happened? Where did we go wrong?
     Frankly, I feel we took the first steps along the wrong road when we decided there were other far more important things to worry ourselves over other than the state of being of people all over the world and right here in America. See, nastiness, indifference, and all things bad and immoral, do not stay outside a barrier. No matter how high the steel bollards are built, no matter how long the fence is made, no matter if it be physcical or mental, the fence is useless in the long run.
     And do not forget the pictures. Think of the sight of Russian troops flimsily disguised, entering the Crimea and wresting it away from the Ukraine. Think of the shudders that went through the countries of the former Iron Curtain. Was Russia back? Were her plans of imperialism under the guise of righteous repossession of land that was never actually theirs, to proceed apace? Would the world step in and come to the rescue of newly independent and struggling democracies? Would America flex her power, allowing her words to have meaning? 
     Evidently not, particularly under this man who is piece by piece demolishing the government of the USA, destroying its foundational ethos of democracy and fair play, playing the role of paper tiger and rolling over and playing dead in front of the whole world. We are no longer respected by the world, in the world, so how is the state of equanimity to be gained, or rather regained?
     Personally, I have no clue. I am actually moving more and more into a state of despair. How can we ever repair the world? Judaism has a concept of Tikkun Olam, repair of the world, and it is upon each of us, every human being, to do our bit to do so, but it seems that no one observes that principle, or at least the majority do not. Thank G-d we do have those who will stand up and speak for justice, for compassion, for righteousness, for right, but too few. Too few.
     So instead, we continue the path that began during the Vietnam War, as the pictures of hell on earth are beamed into our homes, on our phones, in our ears, day and night, and in turn we become numbed to what is wrong. We do not feel it any more, or worse, we turn it off as it 'bothers' us.
     However, the most egregious point is when we find that people are arguing not the right or wrong of something, not the lack of humanity in return for profits, not the greed which replaces care for our earth, but for partisanship.
     The worst president ever. An outright crook. A man of low morals, if any. A man who grandstands rather than governs, running around during particularly low times showing up at places where he does no good, and, in fact, has already done so much irreparable harm. A man who buddies and cuddles up to our enemies, loving and professing so many bromances that one's head spins with the terrible consequences of that behavior. A man who wishes to tear apart our system of government, who has chased out so many good career officers and personnel. A man who has the country split, riven by his behavior and the absoute insistence by Republicans and by people who should know better, that the harm he has perpetrated upon us is actually good, that yes, he is crude and rude, but oh, so much fun as he empties the swamp! What they ignore is that his own swamp has grown apace, his family creeping and crawling into all the seats of power, and grown men cringe before them. Ich to the nth degree! Danger to the nth degree times infinity.
     So it is no longer the right or wrong of things. It is only the Republicans vs the Democrats with that amorphous Independent group on the edges of the arguments. The Republicans care no longer for the truth, for the spewing forth of the disgusting truth of the administration's behavior, of the Wild West conduct, of the shoot before one speaks philosophy and most of all, worst of all, is the personal selfishness of the Trump family, their nefarious motives and disgusting behavior all to the detriment of the world and to their benefit.
     How is one to achieve a state of equanimity? No clue. Look to one's family? Aha! But what about their futures, looking worse and worse every day. Look to the Heavens? Perhaps, but one must cooperate with that Heaven if we are to succeed in the right, in righting the wrongs, in fixing this oh so leaky and troubled world. If we are ever to approach that state again we need to roll up our sleeves, open our eyes and hearts to the truth and remember that we are Americans, the citizens of the best country in the world, the country of leadership - or at least it once was.
     We need to gather our own courage and follow the brave people, the brave kids, of Hong Kong, of Ukraine, of all the countries in South America who are trying to get rid of their corrupt leaders and bring back prosperity, food, shelter, security to their people. Where and why have we fallen off that path? Where and why have we decided to sacrifice equanimity, or the approach to it, for the false gods and desires of money, of power, of hatred, of hurting other people, of indifference to their hurt? When and why? Why?