IT HURTS IT FRIGHTENS IT TERRIFIES

     This entire messy situation is so bad that it actually hurts, and I mean physically, not just emotionally, though it just about kills in that category. How, or even whether, we will be able to get through this as an intact country is up for discussion, or even grabs and that hurts. More, it terrifies if one follows that thought to the end of the road. It is a road which vies with any dark and frightening road of a movie wherein the hero or a family is obviously entering a place of evil.
     It was bad enough when Clinton was cheated of her victory due to the outmoded electoral process. The majority vote was hers, by millions, no matter all the lies that Trump tries to use on this matter. The thought that we had a mean, crude, sexual assaulting, incompetent bankruptee as President just blew my mind and that of many others. 
      So we worried, as we absorbed the blow, concerned as to how we would get through the next four years - if we would get through. After all, this was America, we were strong in our history, in our foundation, right? Wrong. Emphatically so. This man allowed, no, brought out, the worst in the worst of society. The ones who were fooled, the ones who went along for their own gain, the ones who were pressured,  threatened to go along, well, they were and indeed, still are, pretty bad and disillusioning to others, but that he brought out the garbage of society......
     The scum rose to the top. The violent haters rose to shine in their own lights, marching, threatening shouting, and even killing, for most of the shootings were by right wing, not the standard accused Moslems, the go to bad guys, or the new ones, the immigrants wishing to be Americans. No, these were neighbors, former friends, whose true inner beings were unleashed thanks to the hater in the WH.
     Over the past four years we have seen our country disintegrate. The chasm of society has grown so deep and so wide that I actually doubt it can be bridged, let alone healed. I think many do not even want that to be, so are you scared yet? Is your heart beating a tad faster? Have you followed the skeins of behavior to the inevitable ugliness it knits for us? If not, think again, review the past four years, the constant lies, the contempt this man has for all others, the violence he has provoked and the damage, the irreversible damage to our country's fabric that he has done and encouraged.
     He never knew Parnas he said, and yet there he was at a dinner, at a private donors meeting with Trump at Mar a Lago, and all the other miserable lies, all the nastiness, and oh, do not forget that the farmers are getting more land and big tractors! Huh!!!! More land? From where? Do they even want it as they cannot manage the land they already have, much unproductive in the times. Can there be such a change even as the signs point to an oncoming whopper of a recession and how the hell will this man lead a country out of that, for all this last while he has coasted on the gains and economy of the Obama era, all the while claiming it was his achievement. No, for the success he had was in the further fattening of the wallets of the corporations, of the fatcats, and of the wallets of the Trump family. Disgusting. Just like all the corrupt individuals who robbed their own countries before they were finally thrown out.
     Now the Senate Republicans are on the verge of handing him the keys to the world, unlimited power, power to even cancel the Constitution if he wishes, if he claims it is all for his reelection, for that is what the Senators and their lawyers have openly stated and allowed - in all their ignorance, in all their dangerous thinking, in all their what, bribery, threats, stupidity, greed, desire to change the country so as to profit from it, to gain power from it? Where are you in this? Have you thought it all the way through? And those of you who very carefully have avoided conversations re Trump with friends and family, what will you do when forced to choose? What? What?
      I am monumentally worried, emotionally attacked and under siege, and physically frightened, my stomach drops out making room for my heart to drop in, worry in despair, in fear for the future, for we have created a real existential threat to our own country, to our own Constitution, to our own government, to our own survival as America. Goddamn!!!!!!