Is that a new term for you? It was for me when I heard it on a program we were watching on TIVO. The formal definition is: a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete". A simpler one is that it is a philosophy or way of living, an understanding, that there is beauty to be found in all things, even in the process of growing older, aging, and falling apart.
Well, today is the perfect day for this outlook on life, for as the clock turned over into a new day, I suddenly aged a year, edging ever closer to the class of elderly elderly, certainly included right now in that class of things aging, impermanent, rotting? away, and certainly incomplete in so many ways.
On the other hand, as I take stock of myself and my life in this world it is not all bad. Certainly there is beauty in some impermanence. Children do not remain the same age forever (though there are some men that belie that statement) but there is great joy in watching them grow through that impermanence even as the permanent values of love and family remain. Friendships change over years, deepen, while others fade away or burst into flames. Bodies age, prove traitors just when one needs them the most. And the world changes, sometimes too quickly and too much, often leaving behind a cruel miasma of confusion, lack of understanding as to the whys of life.
Where is the beauty in some of those questions? Simple - in the growth of the person, of the mind, of the values. In the midst of dealing with physical issues, I turn to my mind more often and discover that certain beliefs have strengthened and even better, have been inherited by grandchildren. That gives me hope for a brighter and better future than the one apparently awaiting us should the situation as is continue.
I find values, certainly for myself, in my daily blog other than on Saturday and some other days of holidays. I find beauty in the exercising of those gray cells, diminishing as they might be through the normal aging process and attacked by the villainous alpha - synuclein of Parkinson's. Right now the brain is functioning, though I guess there would be some who disagree, but it continues to empower me as I write my thoughts early in the AM, alone in a room in a dark world threatened by figurative darkness of the times. Try it some time, write your thoughts, about your feelings, rant about your concerns and your confusion as to how we got in this present mess and how the hell we get out of it. I get a kick out of knowing that there are people out there all over the world - though how they find this little blog amazes me - who read me. For a little girl growing up in Brooklyn, raising a family, living a happy marriage, having a wonderfully enriching life as an educator, the ability to reach out is whoa!!! Amazing!
But what about the rest of me, you might ask. Where is the beauty in realizing that one is not what one used to be, that activities become limited, that the situation will not change for the better, that tough times, tougher than now, are on stage just waiting to come forward centerstage. Well, believe it or not, there is beauty in that as well.
There is love, ever deepening, even after almost 53 years of marriage, as we work together within growing limitations. No, I cannot take those walks we used to love doing, but we can have long talks that dip into everything. We can discover that our beliefs have strengthened along the same paths they walked before, losing none of the energy behind them, even developing more energy, just different, and just as beautiful.
It is there in the joy of watching my kids step up to the plate, taking on some of the family responsibilities, even absorbing, albeit reluctantly, that indeed, their parents are aging, and when certain topics arise, they must take part in them, hear wishes they wish they never heard, but there is that stark beauty of growing maturity of a different kind, of a love between generations that will withstand the demands of time and life.
There is beauty and value as one now finds the time to delve into family history, the exciting discoveries one makes, the growing understanding of the chains of generations, the link we are on that chain. It is the horror of seeing, reading, of so many names, names that are familiar to me because they are family names, only these namesakes are gone, horribly taken, removed from this life and here I cannot find beauty, though there is value in remembering what happened. Only in the fresh remembering can we deepen the depths of our determination to never allow this again, to fight against the hatred that leads, continually, to genocide, ethnic cleansing, to fresh horrors.
Primo Levi, Victor Frankl, Elie Wiesel, Anne Frank, Emmanuel Ringelblum, and so many more named and known and unknown, found value in the worst and most unimaginable situations, reminding us always that we are people together and we must never lose sight of that. Even in our anger, our despair, there is Wabi-Sabi, beauty in the fight, in the values, in the determination to be of use, to survive and force the world back onto the correct, moral, and beautiful paths rather than on the destructive ones it gravitates to. There is beauty and value in the struggle itself and in the steps forward, teeny tiny as they might be, falling backwards as we might, but always, always, sometimes desperately, trying to move forward.
So yes, I love that new term Wabi - Sabi. I love the way it gives value to that and those which the world is likely to discard and devalue. There is beauty in the new life one takes on as one ages, and yes, as one falls apart physically! There is a wonderful value and permanent beauty in my memories of highlights of my life, private and professional, of my growth in both worlds, of the people I love in both worlds. The pleasure of these memories is permanent even as there is impermanence in these aging memories, as some grow dimmer, while others break through.
In any case, as my mother told me that I was born at night, I still have several more hours to remain a young 71, relatively speaking, before I turn over the next leaf of my life. I will sit and think for a while how we are defying fate and going to see my kids and grandkids over the next few months, missing them desperately, Zooming and all.
So yes, Wabi - Sabi to all. Happy Day to all my readers out there. Thank you for allowing my voice to be heard, as little as it is, to find beauty and value in its thoughts, to help create some permanence in the movement of life even as the world struggles so hard these days.
Have faith in mankind. Have faith that the Creator is watching carefully, allowing us to make our choices, finding beauty in our correct ones and finding hope in the impermanence of the wrong ones, the misguided ones. And always, remember the permanent thoughts that must be kept in the physical world - Be Well, Stay Safe, and have the courage to persevere in all situations and times.
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