Confused? So am I. How did we get here and why do we appear to be determined to continue in that direction? How have we ceded so much to so few, a bunch of shouting, rude people who just know, they just KNOW that they are ordained, appointed by G-d to rule the universe, to impose their beliefs on all, whether they agree with them or not. Very dangerous ground, a growing area of gelatinous quicksand beneath our feet which will swallow us all if we are not careful. Once under, always under.
It is now official. The stench, the political mud attached to the Supreme Court, the shenanigans used to make these once impartial judges totally political. In the open, wide and clear. Justice Sotomayor says it all. "Will this institution survive the stench that this creates in the public perception that the Constitution and its reading are just political acts?" The disease that is Trumpian is still within the body and soul of this country. The determination to impose all on all, whether they are in agreement or not, is the maxim of their lives. That maxim is of a most pernicious manner and once here, once validated by the Court, imposes again, again, AGAIN! a long and bitter struggle.
Who controls our body? Who determines what we do or not do with it? Does anyone have a G-d given power to rule over our decisions, to treat our rights, our thoughts, as worthy of nothing?
It is confusing. On the one hand the GOP shouts to the heavens re the rights of individuals. If they do not want vaccination, fine, for it is their right to refuse - or so they shout. Never mind the harm and danger to others. Never mind the economic cost. Never mind the resources they vacuum up, denying them to other, more responsible citizens. Never you mind, for that is the right of the individual. So we are told. So they shout.
But wait. What is this? A sudden twist in the road. Apparently, the rights of the individual to make decisions regarding one's own body is selective in nature. No mask? Okay. No vaccine? Go for it. Tattoo the entire body or two sleeves? Hey, free artistic expression. Decide to abort the pregnancy, due to whatever reason rules your decision? Oh no, Never! And in any case, you are a woman, so bear up under the onus of gender imposed upon you by backwards thinking religious and political zealots. Never mind that there will be no support for you in raising and providing for this fetus. Oh no, for what is important is that you obey our commands and then go to hell! Absorb the blame we lay upon you, call you inadequate, but somehow, to them, it is the fetus that is holy, while the living child is eh! Not a big deal. Not 'my' problem becomes their current mantra. We, the women, are told to grin and bear it, for so G-d demands.
Well, I disagree. My body is my own. I can refuse or demand treatment. I can tattoo or not. I can get pregnant or not. That pregnancy took two to tango; thus, two must bear responsibility. It is my body, hence, my right to opt for abortion and no, we recognize that it is not a contraceptive device. But what does one do when contraception is denied to us-again! Once again, fighting battles that were won already, now under attack by unthinking and/or non caring individuals, and cynics, using this devastating time to pursue their own golden globes, symbolic of their mad desire to rule the world, women's world in particular.
Abortion is not something one does on a whim. It is not an event for which one wakes up that morning, gleeful at the thought. It is a mind-blowing, heart-breaking decision, one that takes place after long, hard, full of tears, accompanied with the sound of the heart breaking. It tears at the soul, even as you know it must be done.
How do I know, you ask? Simple. I am a woman. That says it all. However, there is another reason, a life shattering one. Know that it was an important decision with much risk and life changing consequences if the pregnancy were not terminated.
For two weeks, depressed, yet determined, knowing I had to put aside the feelings one has for the possibilities of the fetus. I knew that there would be no possibilities for this one if the certainty, the odds favored horrid effects. I waited, lying all day on the couch, thinking, crying, shouting to the heavens at the unfairness of it all. My doctors, bless them, consulted round the world, talked together, validated my concerns, fears, and maternal love already in place. They knew, though, that the final decision was mine to make.
Finally, thank G-d, it was determined that the odds were on our side. It was a GO!!! And I do not regret that decision to forge ahead, take my chances, trust to the odds. It was a good decision as life turned out. But if the odds were not in my favor, or for the baby, then I would have gone ahead and aborted. Awful, yes. But necessary and MY decision to make.
Evidently, we are poised on the brink of yet another example of politization of issues which are manifestly out of place in political discussions. Manifestly not for men and deluded women to impose on others, and certainly not for a judge to make. The consequences of the Dred Scot decision had awful consequences for anti-slavery adherents. The decision to just about make abortion impossible under terms imposed on it, will have the same devastating effects on the rights of women, the control over their own health and life decisions.
Optional options? Not really. If the court rules the wrong way there are no options for a woman other than to bear an unwanted child, a child of tragedy, or once again, risk her life in a back-alley abortion.
Optional options? I think not. I wish there were.
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