Try walking on a narrow piece of wood placed on the floor. You would be surprised how many times you fall off or windmill your arms like crazy trying to remain in balance and on the board. Now imagine that same board, much narrower, the thickness of a standard wire, up in the air. In addition, you are carrying clumsy bundles hung around you carelessly, unbalanced. Now - Walk!! Do not fall. Careful!
Now that just begins to describe how I feel these days. Personally, my world is tipped, crazily, disastrously unbalanced, as we walk on that thin wire of hope over and through a miasma of fear and uncertainty. Everything becomes less important, urgency delayed, as we await with breath stalled, the news of the hour. Yes, daily is far too long an interval. Hourly is much better for the family awaiting the news. Nausea, news of the state of the damned tumor, sleepiness or lack - whatever, all can change within that hourly interval. Texts fly back and forth "Hear anything? What? When?"
We try to occupy ourselves to deflect the concern, the intense need for news, good news, miraculous news. So we work or try to read - I have been on the same page for a week. Anything and everything to pass the time, including prayers, chats with concerned friends from all over the world, including long lost ones. It gives us courage, strength, to go on as we wait for the next news break.
Some advise me to turn to the news as I formerly had great interest in what was happening. Well, all that induces is a growing anger and uncertainty. Why is the entire world changing, for the worse? Why are we losing democracy? Has no one noticed? Why have we become comfortable at the thought of heavy collateral damage? Why have we allowed total destruction of a country bombed into piles of rubble? Why are we once again on the brink of war, a global war, this time a nuclear war?
Why? Because we are stupid? Uncaring? Rooting for nightmares to reformat into 'daymares' for too many? This turmoil has allowed, even encouraged, cruel hatreds and biases to flourish in our overgrown, weedy garden of life. Antisemitism has grown once again by leaps and bounds. Armed members stand guard now. Why? Again? So I, along with many others, growing in number, worry re our future here, anywhere. Hate has a never dying appetite and will need to feed on increasing numbers of victims, yet why do people not understand this simple truth?
As for our America, well, spell it increasingly as Amerika, particularly within states controlled by DeSantis and wannabes, with his GOP dominated Legislature well on the way to passing a bill which would criminalize, cripple, free speech. In fact, I, and so many others, could, would, face punishment to the tune of heavy fines and/or imprisonment. For stating the truth. For criticizing politicians. For exercising our rights. For mourning the approaching loss of our nation and its collective soul. In so many ways, both domestic and international.
Hence, here I am, again, confused, concerned, worried, over yet another sickness, a diseased nation, an afflicted population.
Hence, I turn off my outside mind for a while and concentrate on Yitzy. And I feel the better for it. Here, at least, is a hope for a future - once we get it back and give him his chance at that future again. So, please, continue praying with us to indeed, heal the world and, Yitzy.
HEAL YITZY!
May he be granted refuah shelaymah bimheyrah beyameinu.
May he be granted a timely and complete healing.
May Hashem hear all our voices raised in prayer.
Amen. Amen.
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