BE SAFE

  That is the new mantra today. Instead of saying "have a good day" or similar, it is now the warning? the blessing? to "be safe". Why is that? What does it mean in the context and meaning of our lives? While there is a good side, if people are truly honest and actually care that you do indeed remain safe, be safe, then good. If people are saying that as a farewell because today's reality is unfortunately suffused with risk, from dark corners and sunlit rooms, well, good for the caring, but bad for life.

I believe what we have is a combination of all aspects. Certain statements, repeated often, at times become meaningless, a mere platitude with no stuffing. However, even with my somewhat lowered expectations of humanity, I actually do think that many, if not most, truly mean it. With rampant violence apt to strike from any direction, in any place, to wish one to be safe is a good thing, a caring thing. Perhaps it will remind one to be careful, to be aware of surroundings. to pay attention to traffic rather than your phone screen. To be alert and know where you are and how to exit or get away if necessary. Today, one of the first things I do in a new place is check the exit doors. Maybe there is no need, but for my sanity, I do that. 

Next is checking out the people around me. Do they look hinky? Are they constantly checking a weighted down pocket, carrying some nefarious weapon, sanctioned in doing so by the likes of DeSantis and other card-carrying gun toting troglodytes. Is that muttering person on the phone or having a conversation with oneself? Who is standing near you on the platform and who is pushing you, against you, on the crowded train or bus? Also, look around and be a good person. Give up a seat to an older person, a pregnant woman, a mother or father with young kids, someone who needs it more than you. Hold the door for a person, for a wheelchair bound individual. Little things which go a long way in ameliorating the anxieties of modern life and increase the likelihood of being safe. Bonus - take pride in your actions.

The question remains though as to why we have this anxiety ridden atmosphere today. As a kid I can barely remember when there were epidemics. Polio, bad flu seasons where everyone was absent except me! Even wars. Yet daily life, especially for kids was not interrupted. We did not feel the necessity to dive deep, deep, into the messes of life. We trusted our leaders, our public servants to do their jobs, be honest, be competent, take pride in their service.  That trust is shrieking loud and clear, the elephant in the room, marked by its absence from life today. That, I believe, is the kernel, the acorn from which the mighty oaks of despair and tension have grown. Tall, thick, dense, they block the sunlight and keep too many of us for too many days and weeks locked into dark dreary, days of anxiety, days when the warning, the blessing, the wish to "be safe" is necessary.

How do we overcome this? How can we, if not return to the days before wars, combat around the world, reports of murders and violence invaded our homes, at least tone it down.  We cannot dial or push reset all the way back nor should we. We must be aware, take part in governance of our lives and nation, but we must also take a step back. Nothing happens overnight. If we understand that, then we will understand how we have sunk to the level we have at present and know the way back.

With sharper eyes and minds, with ears that hear the undertones, we can improve life. What's more, we can think and evaluate our own lives and understand that we have indeed, each in a personal way, contributed to the betterment of the world, in big or small ways, on so many levels. One can be a a 'little' person, yet leave a great, big, beneficial mark on the world, and despite the sunlight blocking trees, allowed sun and light, love, hope to penetrate to those beneath.

So why am I writing this today. Very simple. For one, like it or not, my years left on this earth are fewer than what I have lived already. It is a natural thing to do to look back, look around, and take inventory. What have you sold, bought, built and left as a legacy. We come to an understanding as to the truly important things in life and the "hevel havalim" the lack of worth of so much that we have valued before, as the book of Kohelet teaches us. 

One comes to accept that an end to physical life on this planet is a natural end, and no one can bypass it. Hence, what have we done with our lives? Have we been of use? Have our positives outweighed our negatives? Have we grown in life, found knowledge of the truly valuable? Have we made an impression on others, aided them, loved and been loved, left a legacy more than a grave site or ashes scattered to the wind or in an urn on a mantlepiece?

I have for quite some time been dealing with issues that ring the bells of mortality: time to evaluate and assess. Time to see what one has to greet the Maker. Is the resume satisfactory, indicating growth as a human? Is there room for me in the good place or must I be consigned to whatever weedy plot of land is left? How have I learned to see truth, to take myself down a step or two and to raise others those two steps.

Early in our marriage, with our first child, we learned that all does not take place in a fairy tale. Sunny bright pictures and matching descriptions are not always there. Through difficult health problems we learned what is truly of import - not the crib, not the clothes, but the life itself. We tried to keep that understanding foremost in our lives, in the values of our children. As I look at them, their partners in life, the children they have raised, I can safely say that 'we done good'. They are all three contributing members of society, excellent parents and partners, and the grandchildren are following in those steps. The new little one, our great grandson, well, he is just the best already!  

However, caught in the nitty gritty of life, things fade into the background, and we are not always at our best. I know that while mostly I tried my best, and learned from life, always there were backslides and regrets, thoughts as to how I could have done that better, handled a matter more appropriately, or allowed anger or impatience to rule the moment. For those misdeeds or missteps, I ask forgiveness and understanding and for those who affronted me, well, we are all human and whatever hurt, harm, antipathy that was present in these transactions, they have also faded away, understood to have been of no value or need.

With my youngest grandchild, Yitzy, now fighting a life-or-death battle with cancer, something no child should have to face, so inappropriate, so hateful, so ... I have no words actually. Anyway, once again we understand truth and value in life. I believe we all have done so in the family. I also believe that Yitzy, in his battle, in our deepest wishes and hopes for a full recovery, has brought so many together, tightened ties of love and concern, and forced a reevaluation of life - for the better.

Family. Love. Health. Peace. Togetherness.

The true necessities of life.

The rest is tinsel that flies away, deteriorates and is temporary.

I look at my family and I believe and hope there is a legacy left behind.

I look back at my education career and hope that I leave behind some children, my educational children, who have gained from having known  me, having been taught by me, been improved one way or another simply because I was present in their lives. I know they have given me much for which I am grateful. Being a teacher is a great privilege and honor. 

Anonymously, I copy here a paragraph written by a former student of mine, as she responded to a newspaper's article about being grateful.

"I feel incredibly grateful towards my 7th and 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Sutofsky, as she reminds me of a time that was both challenging and memorable for most adolescents. Despite the awkwardness, I have fond memories of her guidance and support during that period of my life."

I thank you very much. You touched me deeply with your kind words.

I believe I am on the asset side, and hope the Maker agrees.

In the meanwhile, Be Safe. Be Aware.

In any case, at the very least and at the very top of it al - I hope that we all have learned and will continue to learn, continue to pray together, for Yitzy, for all of us, for a troubled world.

Together - only together -

  we can

 HEAL THE WORLD.

HEAL YITZY!

Yitzchak Elimelech ben Chana Sarah

May he be granted refuah shelaymah bimheyrah beyameinu. 

May he be granted a timely and complete healing.

May Hashem hear all our voices raised in prayer. 

Amen. Amen.