Thinking of all the introspective thoughts digging deep into my soul, I wonder what my ancestors would have thought of this. Probably they would have both encouraged it and/or been amused by it, considering the rather more existential immediate stresses they faced. Much more than stress and threats, for the worst took place and on a personal level, hundreds of my extended family on both sides were wiped out, made to disappear as dust mites caught in a gale powered wind, helpless and hopeless, for the powers ranged against them were overwhelming and rescuers and aid scarce on the ground.
Perhaps erroneously I believe that we, at least here in. the USA, are not at that level, fearing for our very lives, though frankly, for me and for so many others it is too close for comfort. Way too close. We are shocked to our innermost being by what has surfaced of late and the ugliness of it all. We thought, mistakenly, the remnant of vicious anti Semitism an outdated idea, remaining mainly in the countries of Europe and the Middle East. However, this has not been the case.
Its ugly toxic contagion has spread like wildfire in a forest parched of moisture, spreading and reviving throughout the world as all seemed to climb merrily into the wagons of hate. Thoughts of a possibility of a renewed reinvigorated campaign of hate darkly tinged by genocidal vocalizations directed again, ever again at us, battered our minds to the point of negating all of our former thoughts, our confidence. Perhaps we were truly not safe in our homes as we and our institutions were under attack? Why once again did we hear shouts of hostility and resentment at our presence and invited to vacate, to "Go back where you came from"? When I was the recipient of said invitation, my Jewish star identifying me, my response was a very calm "Uh, that would be Brooklyn" and moved on, but it was a shock.
Foolishly, naively, perhaps dangerously, wrong we were. Here, in America, deafening echoes grew louder, more frequent. But still the question remained. Have we reached the point of an organized, fully subscribed campaign of genocidal import? I believe not yet there, but too damned close for comfort. However, the difference between our state and that of our ancestors is that ours is not real (yet?) while theirs was a constant, never-ending reality of attacks and growing limitations and isolation, with stated goals of elimination by any means. Here, in America and in other nations of the world who have some remnants of the better parts of humanity and guilt (?), there are now offices and people responsible to fight antisemitism, though never admitting it as having reached the level of JewHatred that it has. nor followed up the words with specific, meaningful, practical and effective short and long-term suggestions and solutions -if there are in fact, any.
All the while, the true depth and infection of antipathy, of JewHatred, is never fully openly acknowledged, generally downplayed, even when it is unable to be anything else other than what it is.
By writing this in the middle of the self-directed examination of mind, hopefully it will be understood that the examination is almost like the many faces of Eve. All my points of identification have an effect and play a significant role, sometimes clashing with a loud bang of cymbals - the giant ones. Human. Aging (aged already), Woman. American. Educated. Last but not least, Jew. They could and in fact do, result in some significant contradictions, but then again, that is part of the state and definition of being human. Thus, in further postings these points of conflict will arise.
More tomorrow.
In the meanwhile, stay safe and always keep in mind those in need of hope, of help.
Our hostages and their families.
Always keep in mind those who have been caught in the horrors of the egregious wars and conflicts. So rampant. So violent. All around the world.
We are, none of us, the adults of the world, blameless, and of clean hands. None.
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