I BELIEVE.

 I believe. Such a simple statement. In fact, what does it mean? I believe - in what exactly or in whom? Is it a tenet of life? A statement of faith in someone or something? Can we define it exactly so as to be understood and internalized. If one can do that or “believe” in its positivity and possibility, with nary a doubt, or a weak one, then that person is truly blessed. Most of us, if we are all honest, might say we believe, that we mostly act as if we believe. In fact, though, there are always questions. Always doubts. Are these doubts natural? Are they instigated by some little gremlin living inside us? 

Whatever it is, innate doubts, or gremlins, it is a fact of life. It has been with us since the beginning of time, walked in lockstep with humankind. Is that good or bad? This question asks and is answered with variable replies, appropriately so, for faith is an individual matter and cannot be dictated, no matter how strenuous the efforts to make it so. Each individual must answer for him/herself, and the results will always have differentials and commonalities, and the habit of mankind is to mesh these commonalities, unfortunately attaching at the same time and over time, all manner of negativities and restrictions. The juice and joy of belief is squeezed out with fear and hypocrisy taking up much of the empty space thus created. So sad.

Far too often what remains is in fact too often non or misunderstood, failing to give us long term or permanent reassurance of something, anything, for the better, to take up residence in our asset column as we live or as we approach life's end. If the need for hope, for comfort, for knowing we are not alone in a frightening, hostile world, is the driving force for codified beliefs, one giving hope and consequences for actions, is that so wrong? Is it false? Is it based too much on fear of punishment rather than appeal to the better side of humans? Is that what humans really need? The stick over the carrot?  Why do we think so poorly of ourselves?   

Who in fact determines contents of that codification? Do we use the carrot or the stick? Will a person improve and strive to be better if there is no true spiritual belief? If the carrot of reward of an afterlife, in whatever format that afterlife takes, is actually false, or vague or uncertain, not known if it is real, will the possibility of its promise be enough? Nobody has ever come back from either the penthouse or the basement of the afterlife who warn us and shake a finger at us, saying " better be good. It's real". 

Even with that reassurance and warning we must wonder whether humanity is flawed from the moment of creation. Always and forever containing within, the urge, that driving tempting need, that which impels humanity too often to the wrong side of the mistaken choices of life. Why, when we claim and demand with loud hectoring voices to return to faith, to remain strong in that belief, do we in reality actually lionize the traits of those who do not do so. Whose behavior is diametrically opposed to those touted in the belief codes. 

 Why do we not see the benefits of living a good life, not only via material wealth, but in purity of soul and motivation. Or the need for and importance of constant striving to reach higher levels as we move through life. Why can we not rise to the level of truly understanding the truth of the words of a wise woman who said, “We are all none of us free until all, every one of us is free.”     

Are we prevented from doing worse by the belief codes, by faith and belief truly felt or one imposed upon us. How is one to deal with some doubts about this vaguely defined Power? Does it control our lives, thoughts and deeds or are we responsible for all that we do and think? Do we strive to do better, or do we throw in the towel and live the freer life? Can these ideas be meshed? Can humans achieve that lofty standard of doing good because it is right, no reward necessary? Must our behavior always be partnered with threats of retribution or promises of reward?  In fact, why do these threats and promises so often differ greatly from each other? 

In fact, down to the nitty gritty, the roots of it all has anyone ever explained that power? In clear and explicit words of definition and understanding. In fact, is it a one power or many powers. If there is one or a consortium of many, do they share names, each appropriating the names they desire, the names by which we have become familiar and incorporated into our belief. 

The questions contained within and more, necessitate answers. It is easy to drown oneself within a faith, a belief, which can give life structure and give us goals and targets. But at times, some folks need more. I need more to be able to define my personal faith, my code and structure of belief.  With clearer definition I will be the stronger and the better for it. I think we all would. Honesty for self is challenging but if we do not do so for ourselves, how could we possibly reach a better understanding of others.   

On the Morrow.