77 years old. Still scratching my head as to which thought is right or wrong, if my perceptions of such is correct. Maybe the next birthday (soon upon me) will help me clarify those very confused thoughts boiling and roiling around in my head. But somehow, I have grave doubts about that. It will not be easy, for some, no, many, of these issues of contention within myself are actually a surprise to me as well. But then again, why would I be immune to the problems and doubts raised by this topsy-turvy world of ours?
However, some comfort, I am not alone is this new gray area, for many others are feeling their way round this befogged world where lines are drawn but have no impact in truth, where one can stand diametrically opposed to one thing yet equally diametrically opposed to the other side of the question at hand. How is one to find, even establish, a new, secure and balanced platform upon which to base one's beliefs and be comfortable within them and their inevitable ensuing consequences? How is one to untangle the threads which become intertwined, causing knots which make the Gordian Knot look like child's play?
And why the hell are we, I, you and me, all of us, finding ourselves at such a critical point when we confidently, at least a bit, should be able to coast through the rest of life, knowing that for the most part our beliefs held true. If modifications proved necessary, at least it would be based on familiar and trusted truths with no major, unsettling, even overturning flood of angst and worry. Yet here it is, and here we are, for when one is 'there', it becomes, like it or not, the new 'here'.
Confusing, challenging. disheartening. but also awakening, so very necessary, if the human race is to tackle successfully its present depiction and foretelling of a questionable future. As we, I, begin our way, cutting new paths through entangling thorns of nature, through swamps and blockades, through insurmountable heights, we must deal with the detritus of the past and the current present, a deadly detritus we created, and we must navigate. We must come out the other side, exhausted but with grins, knowing we have beaten the challenges and afforded our descendants a better world, increased their chance of staying on the right path with fewer life threats and uncertainties.
Hopefully, at journey's end we will have learned how to discern truth from lies, goodness from imitation, along with a confident sense that we can if not begin again, at least change the dynamics in a positive and encouraging manner. A better world, where all attempts to convince people to buy into that which is harmful to them, contrary to their benefit and welfare will be of no impact. We, humanity, can meet the challenge, and defeat our worst enemy - ourselves. We must accept the blame, bear the heavy burden, yet know that we can and will do better. There is no other choice.
However, the challenges to move forward are intimidating. How is one to move forward when we seem to take joy in moving backwards. How is it that terrorists who took great joy in torturing and slaughtering can manage to convince others to do the same. To put torch to their lives in every which way manageable and conceivable. How is it that people can take joy in knowing this and acting upon it? Why is it that we cannot recognize that in harming others we are harming ourselves? That in setting fire to those we deem "enemy" we actually are setting fire to our own village? We sit there and watch as our supposed foes flee for their lives, children in hand, the elderly faltering and lagging behind and then voila! A flame appears over the center of our village. Suddenly, we too are running for our lives.
Why must this continue? Will we ever come to our senses and realize that our poorly selected and enabled leaders have fooled us, deluded us into accepting of the blockades before us? Denying us escape and respite from the fires constantly burning our lives? Lighting the skies with an evil glow. All the while the detritus of our lives piles up. creating a mountainous blockade before us, insurmountable. Impenetrable. Forever darkening the future for our children.
And why? Because too many of us refuse to pull apart the curtains blocking vision. Why? Because it is comfortable. Because it is what we know or think we know. It is what we've been taught. Because Hate allows us to disregard the rules of humanity, to cut loose, to free the worst of us to run free and be praised for it? Now the big question. Are the cracks within our structure also to prove to be as impenetrable and insurmountable as the blockade we artificially created? I hope not.
Hence my own personal fog and confusion. If my enemies are truly that, truly wish me harm of great degree, then how is it that those who have taught me thus now defend those very same enemies. Is this confusion mine, of my own making? In the name of principle do I defend those who would not defend me? Who in fact plan certainly to do me harm? Even unto death? Do I endanger the lives of those I love all for the sake of principle? Yet who am I if I am a traitor to myself, to my life? I, all of us, how do we distinguish and understand the differences, the needs for compromise, if there indeed is room and possibility for that. Or is it that we, I, have been so wrong all throughout life? How is one to handle this blatant contradiction? How can I justify a democratic nation if that democracy is inimical to my survival? On the other hand, how could I possibly tolerate authoritarianism, for dictators throughout the millennia have proven to be grossly harmful, deadly to my people. In fact, to all humanity.
If I am so troubled, certainly I am not alone in this troubled fog, growing ever thicker, ever more impenetrable. Is there no way out of the morass of hatred and violence? Must we assume that one day possibly, probably, soon, the good Lord will look down upon His creations and say, what the hell did I do? And then grab a huge eraser and wipe the slate clean, to begin again. Is that the meaning of the coming of the Messiah?
So, folks, where do we go now? Do we rip everything up and begin from scratch? Throw out all the babies with all the bath waters? Which side of the line do we come down upon? Or must there be a line in the first place? Why can we not use the power. the gift of fire, to burn away the dross and enhance the gift of fire. Use the light, its power for warmth. For encouragement, for advancement. For the betterment of mankind. Not for enhanced weaponry with the power to destroy us all or ramp up the level and toxicity of Hate. Certainly, we can see that current behavior is totally oppositional to our survival. Surely, we have enough sanity remaining within us to take up the challenge, to beat that challenge and emerge from the other side in a much better way.
So, people, tell me, is this what we signed up for? Is this what we signed up for our children? Is this truly our choice? Why can we not take up the hard road so that our children do not have to?
Only in understanding our yesterdays.
Only with comprehension of how our todays evolved.
Only then can we build a better tomorrow.
Only then will we be able to use one of the gifts to mankind, fire, properly. The fire from within and the fire from without must merge. and clear the way for all those morrows to come.
Last chance?
No comments:
Post a Comment