Good day, everyone. I'm back. I said I'd be back on Tuesday but find myself able to post today so I hope you will all reach out today or tomorrow and once again share with me the topic(s) of the day. One of the interesting thought-provoking activities was the chance to squeeze in some pages in two books in between festivities.
One book I already had begun, and I've written before about the author, John Connolly, continued the rather dark, but mixed explication of life even as he tosses in some sparks of light, albeit the sparks have themselves some moments of dimming as well. His introductory quote is an oral/written representation or interpretation of his novels and the messages and warnings he telegraphs to us via his characters.
“I prefer winter and fall - when you feel the bone structure of the landscape, the loneliness of it, the dead feeling of winter.
Something waits beneath it, the whole story doesn't show." (Andrew Wyeth)
The next echoing words in my head, which I both deny and accept, dispute and agree with, depending upon my mood - optimism or pessimism, I find myself in a game called Uncertainty. I am uncertain as to its depth of meaning and to the possible impact of understanding, and the importance and possibility or impossibility of all that it lays out before me. In other words, is there a lesson for me I could take and run with? Help me to have a better life? Or is it merely the writings of a talented writer and really there is little to no connection to me at all? I certainly have never lived any of the lives that the characters of these books have lived so what and how could I possibly extrapolate? Nevertheless, the words of Andrew Wyeth found a home in me.
The other thoughts which caught my eye come from a book called It's OK That You're Not OK. It's basic topic deals with grief and loss, and how to help the grieving understand what has happened. How it is possible to go on without guilt, even with some comfort, as life continues, changed, yet there, along with the grief for the lost person or lost 'something'. Even to create or synthesize something better, positive, contributory and honoring whom or that which was lost.
Charles Dickens writes in A Tale of Two Cities a famous introductory paragraph which sticks to even the most reluctant reader. He writes a paragraph of comparison and contradiction, of a world so confused and confusing, dramatic contrast of hopes and dreams of the top and the despair of the hopeless bottom class of society, two protagonists so opposite in character, of two opposing lives and upbringing. Two cities, two worlds, at one and the same time. The best of times. The worst of times.
That is, I believe, the message that all three of these authors wish to convey to their readers and audiences and are long lived and very successful in that ambition, regardless of the surface differences of them. It all portrays an eternal issue and question of life, no matter time or place, no matter the society. The sooner we recognize and internalize its truth, the sooner we can address it, fix it, and provide understanding and comfort to those in need.
"There a twin paradox in being human. First, no one can live your life for you - no one can face what is yours to face or feel what is yours to feel - and no one can make it alone. Secondly, in living our one life, we are here to love and lose. No one knows why. It is just so."
Two lives, two people or more, two choices, two and two and two. To be good, or to be bad, to justify the means for the end or find another path. To choose the wrong path - always and forever or to try to do better, to reform. To love and share, to remember and honor. To love forever and forgive life's errors. Yours and one who has gone on, if necessary or to thank that one for the precious gift and joy he gifted you and shared with you. To emulate that person.
To keep a smile on your face, as a beautiful couple marry, with G-d in their hearts, with family and friends sharing the moment, even as the tears roll down your face because one is missing, leaving a gaping hole behind. But we all take comfort in that the one who has left us has also left behind the warmth of the memories shared, the character so golden, everything so wonderful, and all that is so terribly sad in the absence.
But yesterday, all those that have passed, all the todays we continue to live with the memories in our hearts, so bright and clear, all the tomorrows forever to be a part of us, never to be gone, long and deep in our hearts, These are thetwo Yitzys the two Yitzys we hold tight, never to let go. The one eternal, watching over us with those who have gone before and the one who remains always with us as we talk of him and remember him, and laugh and cry, all at the same time.
Lives are different, lives are unexpected in the turns they take.
We can take advantage of the time we have and make our lives and the lives of all who love us, who we love, who have come and gone before us, or who are with us now, take that opportunity to walk in the different worlds we meet, take the best of them, honor their purity and goodness. Do not shame their memories and turn all they have left behind for all of us, all that we hope to do good and honorable in our time on this earth, all that is so possible for the future.
Do not shred and disrespect the values of those who watch from above. Choose the lives and the worlds we are given for our lives, and carefully and always do the best we can, even if they are hard worlds.
We in our family and those who were blessed with the gift of knowing Yitzy, feeling his glow, his goodness - remain true to his values, what his life represented. His absolute trust in G-d, accepting the decision about his life and reassuring all that we should and must trust in the decisions decreed by He who knows best.
In truth we do not know if we get more than one life, so we must be the best we can in the world we know. We are not meant to walk alone nor to let others be alone.
It is a better world where love and sharing and goodwill and kindness are valued traits, in words and deeds. Where people try to do their best and keep the nasty second world far away, even nonexistent.
Love and life.
Sharing and comfort.
Walk with others so they walk with you.
Honoring those who came before and contributed to a better world.
Remember Yitzy and keep him close even as he kept all in his world close, always kind, ready to help, modest, loved to share his jokes, to be the best boy he could be.
This is why his loss was so deeply felt.
This is why people came to share and comfort.
To remember and honor.
Thís is why I cried at the wedding ceremony.
So happy for the couple, but so missing Yitzy.
Unable to close the gap in the picture.
He was stronger than I, for I am still struggling with the decision which robbed us of him in this world.
We will always love him.
Always and forever a part of us.
In any and all worlds.
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