Truthfully, I am not sure of the meaning of that question. What else - What? What are we speaking about? If this person thinks that the 'gifting' of a syndrome or named disease or serious injury causes an automatic change, many changes, serious changes, there is a seriously wrong conception at play. Of course, changes must, should, be made, for adjustment, for treatment, for acceptance. But on the whole, life goes on. Much as it had before, and strange to say, in some ways better.
People are funny. Not funny as in ha, ha, but rather as funny strange, quite often damaging to the quality of life lived. For example, we swear to ourselves that we will not worry about Matter X. better to focus on Matter Y. But in fact, in reality, we do the opposite. Even if we kept to that decision for a while, we definitely, for the most part, do not remain on that path.
Soon enough, we return to the same old habits, the same old fretting, the same old aggravation and disturbance to the peace and joy in our lives. More importance and stress are placed, directed, to that which is actually temporary as we often downplay, neglect even, that which is far more likely to enhance our lives and remain with us far longer, tapped into memories and hearts. than that which is more likely to remain with us in pain.
Adding trouble to troubles, we fool ourselves via a series of inevitably short lived switcheroos. One day, one week, one month we will seek that which will bolster our new resolution, thus convincing us that we are indeed serious about making a change in our life and in fact, have already done so. Pat on the back!
However, determination eventually begins to give, and one begins to flag in the efforts to maintain change, to avoid the old and so sadly familiar paths. The weight and the lure of a falsely easier path in life begin to crush and at varying speeds one is right back in the same old place. Or perhaps even worse, knowing that one has lost that which was good, but too difficult to keep in place.
However, when one's life is changed, refocused for us, involuntarily, most often there is a permanent shifting of the tracks of life. All that was seemingly oh so important, so critical to one's life loses its luster and attraction, fades back into the background. "Stuff". The vast amounts of items that were of most importance, absolute necessities, so critical to a 'good life' begin to seem like invaders in your home, conducive to thoughts of ' What the hell were we thinking'?
One begins to pick and choose as values change and worth and importance become quite relative, often clashing and confusing to others who are not at the same point. Connections to tradition, to family and its history, its principles. The need, the drive, to pass this on. To imbue the next generation with this understanding. To share as much as one can with the younger generation. For when one is gone, all that remains untold is forever to be lost.
Along with all that is the wish to leave something behind which will go further into the future. To leave the world a better place for your contribution. to it. In some way, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. The ways of life are changeable and can shift on a dime. Perhaps that seemingly insignificant contribution would at that time fill a sudden vacuum and be of more importance than had ever been thought possible. Lead in a positive manner. Perhaps that is egotistical. But it does drive one with that newly diagnosed fate. And believe it or not, it feels good.
That might seem strange for in trying to pass on one's thoughts, one's ethics and principles to a larger audience, there is inevitable aggravation. The terrible wrongs. The lost values. The wrongly valued. Aggravation. Disappointment. However, as these emotions and opinions make their way through to the surface, as they are spoken and/or written, there actually is a relief. One is finally free to say what one thinks and feels, for there is little of consequence available, powerful enough, to shut that person down. Some do not like it. Some do appreciate. Some do not understand. Some begin to think otherwise. But isn't that one of the purposes, a way and manner via through which one can indeed add to the sum total of Tikun Olam.
What I personally find among my changes is that I do indeed feel free to voice my thoughts and be almost impervious to negativity directed at me due to a difference of opinion. However, that's their problem, not mine. And I am humbled by the numbers of readers I do have, from round the world. It amazes me.
Additionally, one truly learns not to sweat the little things. Better to focus on larger areas of more serious concern. Others might not see it that way, but again, that is their problem - not mine. What is of far more importance to me is to make sure that I live a life complete with joy and strength when the awful or unexpected occurs.
I have learned how to rid my mind and my heart of that which is truly not important, not worthy of any attention and time, for the time allotted to me must be spent positively rather than in false worlds of false values. To know that family is Family. To take joy when my grandchildren call, when I hear the sweet voices of the greats. When my children call every day, as they do, and we have good conversations. Enjoy all the generations and their interactions, the ties for the future. Have faith that they will remember the necessity of remaining close.
Enjoy life. In any which way is possible. To remain with laughter and a smile. To share with others the gifts of humor and care and concern. In fact, that is probably a 'gift' of the diagnosis. There's a new world in this life. That is the world of serious critical rehab and maintenance. It is a world of warmth. Of shared concerns. Laughter. And yes. even hope. It is a world of people whom I never would have known but who have enhanced my life and become a most important part of it. And I a part of theirs.
So. No what else. There is so much that remains of absolute value and equally as much that which is new. There are new scales of evaluation and a sense of refreshment. Revalued. Rewarding. Yes, even as one knows the deal, the details, to be realistic. But also yes, to be prepared. To remain as active and connected as possible.
To remember, with warmth, the good of yesterday.
To live as best as possible in the todays of now.
To plan for the tomorrow and the tomorrow after that.
To know and have faith that all comes for a reason. Even as that reason might never be understood.
Life is the 'what else' of this world - and the future. as well.
I have life.
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