It is indeed a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue and thankfully the sounds accompanying us for too long a time were noisy in their silence. A silence we held close and dear to our hearts. I lay there in bed taking advantage of nothing weighing upon us other than to get ourselves to the airport on time with all that we needed and probably much that was not.
Suddenly I realized why there was something much brighter on this day, at least for me. This brightness was tinged heavily by overtones of blue, a hue which continues to drill down into our hearts and souls. Why? Because no matter how much the leaders shout and scream and bash at each other, we, the little people, are perforce affected negatively by their actions or lack thereof. Even the positive seems temporary in nature and the sun begins to dim a little bit more.
So, first things first. In my particular world overnight, the clock ticked the hours away and my age changed. Once, as a little girl I calculated how old I would be when the centuries changed. Fifty-two. What an amazing number! What would it be like to be alive at such old age? I would be so old then, I thought to myself, as I wondered what life will be then.
Now in accordance with the ticking of that clock which affects so many of us, my years changed. I don't know why it makes a difference. I don't know why there seems to be that major gap between 77 and 78, but 78 appears to carry more of substance within all facets of my personal and public life.
I wonder what have I done in my life? Is it worthy of the aspiration of "legacy” that many people claim to indeed have left behind them or are in the midst of creating that legacy. I don't know. There are three generations after us. Children, grandchildren and great grandchildren (the best in a bunch). There is nothing like holding that newborn great grandchild in one's arms - that is until the worry emanating from the outside world barges in the door. Whether we unlocked it at will or it was busted in by outside enemy forces.
Concern about what was left after my 78th, of any 'legacy', it paled in comparison with what lies ahead for all these new little ones. What if the world never changes other than for the bad and the worse and the worst? What if mankind never ever learns to take to heart lessons that are clearly out there? If put in place, a much better future for all seems possible, certainly better than the constant state of wars roiling the nations of the world.
I don't think most normal people get up in the morning thinking, "oh great, today I'm going to bash someone. I'm going to kill someone. I'm going to shoot someone. I'm going to hurt someone, and G-d forbid one of our own gets hurt."
But we do nothing constructive about it. We have put in place leaders who do not lead, other than to harm. We venerate thinkers who do not think. Visionaries with visual impairments, who cannot see past the nose on their faces.
The world apparently has gone insane. Doing the same thing over and over again insisting that there will be a better result, yet, when that final bell rings nothing much has changed other than for the worse. People, infrastructure, dreams wrecked, disappearing even as we stare after them. That is the world's definition and reality of insanity, timeless repetitions with expectation of different results, but it is the same game again. In fact, it appears to be that its only change is in an ever-deepening depression.
I wonder why is it that in their growing up years no part of the lessons of life were caught. Perhaps not taught, perhaps taught, and then set aside, for those lessons did not fit the plans. Having fooled too many of the people, too much of the time, they were there, in the center of their ambitions, so to hell with all opposition.
Why is it? Unfortunately, too many of the influential 'leaders' believe that bashing people over and over again with ever more powerful weapons, with ever more negative consequences is the way to go. Why do they never learn that the pathway to peace is not via forced surrender.
It is instead based upon discussion and compromise and understanding of each other. It is based on the realization that the world was a gift to humanity, to better, to live with its bounty. Why is it that the world cannot distinguish and know that welcoming is better than being in a constant state of hate and violence. At war. Generally, with one side or even the other more concerned with maintenance of leadership positions of power, and the other nation feels it is an existential threat that awaits them if a loss is sustained. And meanwhile all the resources of Nature and the human mind go to waste, focusing on weapons and power rather than on bettering the world. For all.
Why is it that the pseudo leaders among the nations of the world all seem to have been cooked up in the same pot, buying into the same negativity. Same thoughts that violence is the answer, and more violence is even better than that. Is there somewhere in this world an academy which teaches people how to be the worst they can be, how to be the most inimical leader for their own nation, and, frankly, for themselves as well?
I don't know. I do think that the Good Lord Above has not instilled within us an overpowering essence and lusting for evil, to shed blood, to be 'victorious' and horrendous to others. One can ask, why does it seem more prevalent among some and not others? Is violence indeed the way to go, at least for a time? But as seen through history, that path is useless. Inevitably it fails and the cycle revives again and again and again, no solution other than to refight the same wars, time and time again.
But today I'm going to put aside this meandering of thoughts and concentrate on the joy and the love of friends and family and the knowledge, perhaps the hope, that at least somewhere along the line I have made some tiny little change, had some tiny little bit of influence that will down the line, sometime, pay off, into a better world, for all of us.
That is indeed the legacy I would love to leave behind. One of the possibilities of finally achieving that which we are all capable of, that which our Lord expects of us.
Will it ever be so? Not particularly optimistic about it. Certainly not in my time but who knows? Perhaps now to be in our children's time, our future generations. And certainly, I leave behind the power of love with which we can conquer much that is evil within this world. That is, as long as that love is of people, not of one's own betterment over the bodies of others. A life of goodness, not evil.
So today I celebrate my birthday. My optimism, though battered, still remains in workable order. And I know, that sometime, over time, over and through all the
yesterdays, todays and tomorrows
that humanity will grow up, discard the trash and enter into a glorious world. The world that we were supposed to be good within, and always to strive for the better.
May it be so. Soon. Very soon.
DUE TO TRAVEL NO BLOG UNTIL FRIDAY
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