COGITO, ERGO SUM

 "I think, therefore I am." How well I remember arguing re the meaning and interpretations possible within the realm of this three word sentence. As arrogant first year college students, we oh so brazenly, arrogantly, argued points, so involved, so sure we knew and/or would find the proper paths toward the solution and resolution of all problems of the world, everything from soup to nuts, for we indeed knew it all.

 This Philosophy 101class was going to be the savior of the world. We knew it, even giving over precious time to sit on the living room floor of the instructor, not much older than we were, and discuss, chew, spew, the same tripe over and over again. We were amazed at the glaring lack of clear thought and insight in the ranks of those who ruled the world.    

 Can you imagine! The arrogance. The stupidity. Thought, clear, cogent thought, nowhere to be found. Actually, all that spewed forth were the words of the instructor as we internalized them in our arrogance and numbness to reality. Willingly adopting the ideas of the instructor, not much older than we were, we turned away from our oh so ignorant parents, not admitting to ourselves that we turned away because we could not refute their points with any powerful, sensible response. Why were the answers not as clear as they were in discussion, or in voluminous answers to test questions?     

Actually, we thought not at all, merely becoming influenced Chatty Cathys, as is the situation today. Crazed protesters, merely regurgitating the words and philosophies of their instructors, compounded daily, even hourly, vulnerable in their ignorance and arrogance, forged on the anvil of rampant violence, anger, and extremism of the times.  

They storm the doors and walls of society, thinking entitlement as their answers must be heard.  We need to wait them out, until such time when cogent thoughts arise, as reality, common sense are applied, allowing for heated mouthfuls to be quieted enough so as to allow heretofore hidden kernels of truth to be exposed to light of day. 

The problem of deafness, of the increased time it takes to quiet the rhetoric so hostile to thought and conversation, grows apace, far more hostile to the necessary integrity of society. These kids and their adult mentors are willing, desirous even, to destroy the world before reconstruction materials and plans are in place.

So, the Philosophy 101 question never answered to my satisfaction: if we are not thinking, if we refuse to think, deny reality, and create a false reality with little to nothing of actual thought contained within, in a self-generated truth cancelling world, no true thought involved, then according to Descartes there is a serious issue. Do we actually exist, particularly during this time of uncertainty? Of dreams of the night, of a long sleep?  A life of Neo? 

Then, again, I wonder why we give the time of day to these philosophical issues? Why do we not cut to the chase, discarding all the truth disguising fluff, and face reality, do what must be done. Even if distasteful or harsh. The refuseniks of truth will come along when they must, when there is no alternative. No thought = a choice of nonexistence.  The damage that comes along with that - on those who chose it.       

No thinking? When a person vomits ugliness, dangerous, bloodthirsty words, they must be taken seriously. Certainly, the increasing invective must set off an alarm somewhere. Someone must pay attention.  There is no legitimate thinking here, merely words of madness, lots of sound and fury which we must head off.   

When that man is running, unbelievably, for office, the highest office in the land and possibly the world, well, there is no logical thought, merely madness. The madness is contagious, overwhelming once sound thinking processes; hence immediate action must be taken. No delays, simply get the job done before he and his evil coterie achieve their goal.  "Everything goes", up to and including homicide is not thought, only insanity. He has no loyalty to anyone other than himself, willingly throwing all under the bus to save his neck. No thought, merely feral behavior taken to the extreme. One captures such a creature and locks them up for their own safety as well as that of the larger society. A clear and present danger to democracy, to a true America, to any possibility of justice and right, a bundle of feral instincts and must be treated as such. Thought over internal instincts are misplaced; that of animals of prey inserted into a human's mind. No thought at all.   

What does one do, then, when it appears to be that the entire society has derailed onto twisted rails setting the dangerous new path? That is the present situation or status of American and world societies. Composed of people able to deny the very physical truth, denying the 120 meter deep tunnels, the monies and material stolen from the people of Gaza, the crazed plans which again, reflect no thought, only madness. Not to indulge in feral reeking animals of prey instincts, then claiming the rights of humans.

 Each and every living thing must be approached with care and concern, but always with the aim of safety, rather than building on the bad status quo, allowing mayhem and murder to proceed unimpeded. Those without human thoughts are not to be allowed to intimidate others, for man is given rule over animals and not the other way around. We need to remember our humanity, not revert to primitive, undeveloped mankind. We must treasure the children, not hold them hostage. We must even care for the enemy, turn him into a friend - if possible. Hard work, but necessary. Somehow, the world must be made to open eyes and hearts, and hardened, fossilized minds. Able, eager to see, feel, know, the truth. Understand the importance of experience. Accept the weight, the onus and responsibility of caring for the planet and its inhabitants, recognize sharing and the gift of thought, to actually BE.    

However, when the enemy refuses to open deadened minds, paying attention only to the wild undisciplined side, then one first, needs to gain their attention, forcefully if necessary. Then we can talk of communalities and ways to ameliorate the differences. We cannot wreck the world. WE are the ones who need to preserve it. We need to understand historical imperatives and truths, like them or not.  But one cannot talk nor reason with an enemy who wishes only to kill, to maim and murder, to give way to the worst that mankind has to offer. 

There is no thought in seeking blood spilled; instincts, aged, but not forgotten are not thoughts. We must force thought if we are ever to live in peace. The present world unfortunately has given itself whole hog to the side of base instinct. We have forgotten, defy thought as that which is too difficult for us.  Mired in multitudes of combat, declared or not, sudden or perpetual. It matters not, only the awful, hopeless, destructive results. Only the destruct button they long to push, no cogent thought nearby.     

People, these are questions for which I know no answers. They have eluded me. As they have eluded the leaders of the world. Are they then true leaders? Answer: They are not, and it is time to pick some new, bold ones. Where are they? Look for those who think, propose ideas, work with those who have other ideas, who know that to think is a right and a duty of and for all who wish to prove and validate their existence. They will be able to inspire others to think and perhaps there will be a happy melding of ideas and thinkers, finally! 

That is my definition of cogito, ergo sum. If we think, we are, and if we do not, then we are mere zombies, of no use at all, other than to lend a hand to those forces which would rather not think but simply react on a primitive level of action which carries naught with it other than more destruction, more killing, more havoc. Infinitely dangerous to the survival of humankind.  "Cogito, ergo sum". If I think (as a human) then I do in fact, exist. One thinker, two thinkers, three thinkers, one hundred thinkers and so it goes and so we exist and so we improve our future possibilities. 

Our work is cut out for us. As of today- thinking, true thought, its process, is an endangered species, a school of thought that needs to be well on the way to disappearance.  

We just finished the commemoration of thirty days after the death of Yitzy. It is called shloshim, 30 days after burial. Tears and prayers are there along with dedicated studies and comments regarding these studies. Remembered in this shloshim was a young boy on the cusp of manhood, whose potential was deep, wide, and the earth itself fought against it. The room was awash with the tears of those who understood the high cost of this loss, the gaping hole unable to be filled, as even words failed in their purpose.  

Perhaps if we had thought longer, more sincerely, gathered together all those voices raised in prayer for Yitzy, there could have been a no limit sign on it. I understand deed and punishment but this innocent? But why rip  away from his family?  Deep as was Yitzy's faith, he could formulate the anguished question of why?   Yitzy found his answer and shared it with his parents. Others remain in the seeking mode.  

The Big Guy is above all as his answers and reasons are far too deep for us to understand. Nor are we to question; however, though that is so, along with it comes the positive changes already inspired by the examples of Yitzy stories. Perhaps that answer can assuage some. Perhaps not. 

Hugs and kisses, my sweet boy, my special boy.   Always and forever.         

FRUIT OF THE POISONED TREE

 There is a rule in the legal sphere that if the initial proof or evidence was legally wrongfully obtained or used, then all consequential discoveries stemming from that initial evidence are by law, fruit of the poisoned tree and disallowed. Sounds simple yet is argued every day in courts. What happens to a poisoned tree theft of a painting from a Jewish woman by the Nazis, in order to facilitate her escape from Nazi Germany.

Can it then be argued that the initial 'transfer' of ownership of that painting was a poisoned tree? That transfer was only legal because it was the law, the legality of an illegal, immoral and murderous state.  Surely then, subsequent sale of this artwork, after having been illegally smuggled into the USA, was sold to Baron Thyssen, a scion of a powerful German firm which was involved up to and over its disgusting bloody neck in aiding Hitler to accomplish his goal, and then sold to a Spanish museum, was a fruit of that poisoned tree. As such, all sales after the initial crime of extortionate possession transfer should have been negated as fruit of that poisoned tree.   

Once again, morality, the obvious right path was discarded, and the 'law' won. By that thinking, all engaged in enforcing the legal rules of Nazi Germany were not complicit in the crimes, were merely innocent good Germans following orders and implementing the laws on the books. All sales final. Question -is it now legal to buy any stolen or illicitly obtained items, claim ignorance of the origin of said items, and keep them? Fences of the world unite! We should be thankful to the 9th Circuit for being so strong in their application and interpretation of laws. Moral be damned.                                Guess Hitler has won after all.

The perversion of morality, the reinforcement of the opposites of truth are continuing, thriving, all around the world. No longer deemed hip or cool, to be a Jew or have a Jewish friend, it is thus now good, a trend, and trends must be followed. Hate the Jew, singular or plural. Makes no matter. Such a good feeling for now one is free, enabled by society to lay off the blame and responsibility for all woes and evils on the Jews. It was the Jew down the street or that dangerous 9-month-old fierce enemy of Gazans, who had to be taken prisoner, probably now shielding Synwar as his civilian shield, or dead, after a brutal abandonment somewhere in the dark.

And the world stays silent or accusatory. Why not, for among the rest of the wrongs laid on the Jewish people, evidently, we are the cause of climate endangerment re our war with Gaza, with all the explosives. Never mind those of Gazans. Never mind the brutal pace of war with Russia, or any of the wars and fighting round the world. Nope. All the fault of Jews. Why and how? Who cares! 

Few and far between are true friends and supporters of Israel. Few and far are those who know, protest, the openly boasted genocidal plans for Jews.   Why do America and myriad other countries wish, demand, to micromanage Israel in its existential fight? Or blame Israel for the war STARTED BY THEIR BRUTAL ATTACK ON CIVILIANS. But never mind the truth. Why waste time and energy?

Biden states: ‘I've been quietly working with the Israeli government to get them to reduce and significantly get out of Gaza. And using all that I can to do so,’" 

Blinken talks up his meeting with several nations to discuss the Middle East, Israel not invited. The nerve! The gall!!   A bunch of nations with their own human rights and combat issues. A bunch of   Moslem nations who firmly have shut their borders to any Palestinian. Give them to the Jews, they so generously propose. Oh, so many thanks, but then leave us alone to solve the issue for once and for all time. No more bloodshed. Peace and prosperity for all, ALL.

And all the while the hostages rot, literally, beaten, bloody, starved, killed. It is now 100 days of this torture and said that only 107 of the hostages remaining in captivity are alive. The rest are dead, murdered, but no one speaks up about that war crime, or takes them to court. Nope, not a whisper.  

And all the while we are at war here in America. Who is right and who is wrong? Most voters are like me, confused, bewildered. Party loyalty? Why? They are not loyal to me. I do not like Republican social policies, their spending priorities, their inhumanity and lack of empathy, the corruption, their crazies, and most of all, their cowardly support of a traitor -in the name of what? Victory? To break America? But the Democrats are not any better and I am quite nervous over the growing strength of those who hate Israel and would see it disappear. Their portion of crazies are growing oh so nicely, and rival those of the GOP, every bit as dangerous, but at least the GOP supports Israel -but what if Trump the Nuts gets elected, a criminal who should not be able to run in the first place. 

Confused, even afraid more so every day that passes, every outrageous new bit of information, from the BBC and its rampant, reeking bias against Israel, typical British long time oh so polished delivery belying the hate within. The antisemitism of the openly biased media, online and off. The soft treatment to those who are disrupting life all over the country. Keep the traffic running, arrest violators no matter where they 'protest' for they openly endorse genocide, bolder and bolder every day.  

The answers to these posers are to be found most probably with the Big Guy up there, staring down on us, doing What? Send your own version of questions on their way up and on the way send regards to Yitzy, my golden boy, so much missed, not thirty days, long days, of a gaping never to be filled hole in the fabric of our family, of his community. Would that he was here, allowed to grow up and change the world for the better.

For that answer or explanation, I refer you back to the same Big Guy.  

   My answer box is empty. 

What I do have, always and forever, are hugs and kisses for my sweet boy. 

 

QUESTIONS OF THE HEART

 When I was a kid and stuck inside on a rainy day, all library books read, no sibling home with whom to while away the time, my mother would tell me to go bang my head against the wall. The alternative, I was told, when I questioned the advice, was to smarten up and think, for surely another solution to boredom would come to the fore. Such a clever mother and I still miss her so, but her advice was right on the money. Even today. Especially so when I recall the corollary attached.

 Frustrated at times with those who would not listen to others, too stubborn or too dumb to acknowledge the value of other viewpoints, even if simply to help clarify meanings, I received another piece of folk wisdom. First, bang them on the head with a steel pole, thus gaining their attention. Then perhaps, only perhaps, will they be open to words of another. The words might be false, irrelevant or poorly phrased, or truths which make the stubborn willfully deaf person uncomfortable, but there it is. Gain attention. Proffer a bag of ice. Then try the talk again. Talk. Exchange ideas. Resolve, compromise, insist. Whatever works, but do it meaningfully, honestly, truthfully. Do not waste the attention and the energy expended in the use of the steel pole. If a stubborningly thick skull is involved, repeat as necessary until all chance is gone. Do what must be done. If all the efforts are useless, grab that steel pole again. No other choice remains.  The truth must be heard, internalized and accepted, even if unpopular. 

That being said, we now journey into badlands, where truth has no relevancy and denial of truth is the currency of the day. Hence, the rather large appearance of Trump on the scene. Along comes an expert, brazen liar, Trump and his bizarre thoughts, plans and handy dandy load of TNT, his well-publicized plans to dismantle the democratic structure of these here United States of America, discarding centuries of democracy, the words, and spirit of the Constitution. Not for him the legal peaceful transfer of power. Instead, he conceives a plan, acts in accordance with those plans, foments rebellion and when defeated, even as he admits it, he claims immunity, above the law. Teflon. Forever.  End of story. That ending must be enforced if we and the world are to remain safe and democracy and its principles to be upheld. Steel pole anyone? As many as necessary. 

Next up, perpetually up, the blatant case of violent, genocidal plans of Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran, associated terrorists - never ever militants - and yes, Europeans and Americans. A most frightening turn of events and yet here it is.  Legislators calling for   "consequences" to Israel for defending itself, to DEMAND THE FREEDOM OF THEIR HOSTAGES their criminally held citizens, taken away, beaten, bloody, age, gender, health no matter of concern. Even as the hostages are reported almost every day with yet another dying, and of course, the victim of Israel. Never the starvation, the brutality, the isolation, the darkness, the despair. Nope, of course.  Truth? Irrelevant. Unwanted. Of no value. 

When questioning a child as to why he struck a classmate, I was told "He hit me first." Asked if it was the best solution, no other option, I was told   that all else had failed. "Now he knows, hit me and I will hit back. He will never hit me again."  He was correct, so I muttered the usual tripe, called in the parents of the original hitter, and resolved the issue - at least for that moment. At times, there is a fair loss of patience, a refusal to turn cheeks as one runs out of undamaged ones. Some respond only to steel pole therapy.

Thus, we arrive back at Israel defending itself, refusing to yet again pull back, cede hard won territory, losing so many civilian soldiers.   In uniforms, called from regular jobs, versus the disguised terrorists in civilian clothing cheered on in their bestiality. Joined by those myriad "innocent" civilians eager to share in the fun, ululating and boasting of their kills and brutality.     and the world shifts rather quickly to another equation, a formula wherein the victimized, the slaughtered, become the oppressors, instigators of their own deaths and the brute oppressors, the murderous scum become the oppressed. 

They hide among civilians, and even now their cowardly leader shelters himself within a circle of hostages. Even as the ever-whining Gazans, complicit in the slaughter, tell stories of impending starvation, dehydration, lack of fuel and electricity, but never happening. A miracle worthy of Biblical mention. Even as one sees the starving emaciated bodies of released hostages vs the well-nourished   'refugees' along with their children constantly playing games on their constantly charged phones, in the land of no electricity, as we are told, in hospitals replete with terrorists below in their rat tunnels, their munition factories, the rooms filled with small animal cages all the better to imprison women inside. The IRC? Uh, who is that? 

The truth of this matter is right there, in the open, for all to see. For those willing to see. For those who do not dwell in the scum of hatred, violent and perverted, which turns and twists the minds, and hearts, blackens the souls and deprive all of hope. Outrageous lies and activities of supporters, bought and paid for, duped, encouraged, within western countries, to interfere, to create havoc, enmesh others, are well coordinated and destructive in their results. 

I am so tired of this. I am so discouraged, disheartened by this. I wonder how many out there understand. Along with hits taken on in my personal life, it is difficult at times to be human, to smile, to maintain balance, to get deeply involved in life saving hobbies and interests. To maintain hope and trust, faith in the basic decency of people. Yes, I am blessed that I know so many. Blessed that we had thirteen years with Yitzy, but how does this end?  Where? When?  Why? What the hell!!!

Stay close Yitzy, for we need to feel you, to feel your love, your goodness.

Hugs and kisses, my sweet boy.

Always and forever.            

"SOMEWHERE IN THE DARK"

  Time and again that phrase will be found in reports, oral, filmed or written, re the hostages held underground in Gaza. Held by the very same animals who rampaged through numerous Israeli small villages and towns, mainly agricultural, whose residents by far, pre-Oct 7, had been leftists firmly enmeshed in the myth of peaceful, cooperative relationship, side by side, with borders meaning nothing as the two groups merged together in shared values. 

Talk about 'being in the dark! The life of amity, friendship, upheld by the Israelis as they extended numerous hands, outstretched in freely, generously fiercely believed memes of peace and brotherhood. Now we know, what the motives of the Gazans were. Malicious betrayal, gathering information all the better to kill, slaughter, hold captive, sexually abuse, burn. To keep "somewhere in the dark". Their vicious, vile inhumanity, their bestiality, committed right out there in the bright sunlight of a beautiful holiday morning. Perpetrated proudly, reveling in the massacre, in the pools of blood, on the body parts, in their determination to do the worst they could in the open. No darkness for them, other than the darkness of their souls, of their driving insane hatred, in their very blackened nature.   

Their darkness was deflected onto the captives, to be held in darkness, deprived of air, of hope, separated from loved ones. The more extreme the inhumanity, the better for their darkness, enriched by their inhumanity, by their inner darkness they could not, would not, keep 'somewhere' else.           Bold in their darkness, so contrasting to the sun of Nature, the people of the Gaza Envelope found themselves in a Holocaust of their own, same in every way as the original, other than in size, but hey, they were only beginning were they not! Just   a bit more rope, a bit more time, lots of severely misdirected sympathy and support, and the world is their oyster, to be consumed in the growing darkness blotting out the sun, the light denied to so many, from 9 months to 85 years. Eternal darkness to the brutally slain, brutally. 

The world? Same old, same old. A few tsk, tsks, a shaking of the head as in "oh well, it happens", and a quick, driven reversion to support for the invaders, for the murderers. Victimhood and criminality were exchanged, and the world, in its unique and eternal hatred of Jews, turned on them, condemned Israel as they gave in to the behavior of crowds of chanting Moslems and their dupes, calling for genocide, falling short in that they did not yet carry through to the actions necessary for successful genocide. But hey, give them credit; they were trying, right! An A for effort.

As facts and plans were revealed, their darkness hauled into glaring sunlight, it became apparent that there were deep pockets who had planned ahead, able to get their adherents into places of influence, able to turn benighted, so idealistic foolish students to their cause, and watched gleefully as the world fell in line.  

The virus proved more detrimental to health than extreme Covid at its worst. This virus killed intelligence, withered humanity, put paid to brotherhood, to goodness.   Jewish kids round the world, all ages, found themselves sidelined, viciously, in schools at all levels. Teachers demeaned them in class for being Jewish, calling them vile names, cursing them. Suddenly, once again, it has become dangerous to be a Jew. Again! Will it ever stop? Ever? 

The creatures of the dark, from dank cellars, crawled out, emboldened, into the light which failed to truly expose their goals, the harm planned.  Even here in the good old USA, not so good any longer, has fallen in line, rightwing antisemitism, left wing Jew hatred merging in a synergy of evil. It is no longer loyal to me and so now where does my loyalty find a home? 

Yes, Israel is there, but my question is - how long can we hope for support from the USA as Israel fights for its life. Shared nationhood is a pathetic veil over the genocidal plans for Israelis, as it is ripped from their hands. Apparently, Israel was only on a lend lease program, temporarily granted in the aftermath of a time when the world stood by, silently, perhaps encouragingly, as Jews were slaughtered as darkness beshrouded the globe. With international guilt assuaged perhaps Jews need to leave Israel and go to lands where obvious injustice and mayhem are ignored. Far better to pick on Israel, such a convenient target of hate. Thus, were we to move to Darfur, or Nigeria, or Ethiopia or Haiti or Ukraine we would be better off? Here is a question for the world to answer. Who then would take responsibility for the so-called Palestinians as not a one of the more than a score of Arab and/or Moslem nations want them within their borders! Food for thought, perhaps?!  

Vicious active ancient hatred persists, and its roots have extended far deep into the darkness which feeds it. Here in America, it has taken root in or at every level, from top of government to child in school, at every age. Below you can read two comments. Perhaps there are some working, caring brains out there who can actually find, create, a way in which to tamp down this horrid growth, this deepening darkness of soul. Perhaps there is someone out there who can think of a way out of this ugliness, a way to shine a cleansing light upon it, soon, actually immediately, to open the tunnels of captivity to lifegiving light. Read the comments and weep. If you care. 

Sen. Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.) on Sunday called for “consequences” on Israel in an effort to reduce civilian deaths and allow greater humanitarian aid into Gaza.

Asked if the Israeli government needs to face consequences if they are contributing to blocking aid into Gaza for political reasons, Van Hollen said, “Yes, I do think there … have to be consequences. (How about life saving effort?)

" Roosevelt players said antisemitic slurs at their opponents. Some of those slurs allegedly included, "I support Hamas, you f---ing Jew."

Referees and security guards were needed to break up the game"

  Yitzy, you have your job cut out for you. Wake the Big Dude up, call His attention to His besieged nation, the challenged world. Now would be a good time.    

Yitzy, I so miss you and your sparkling blue eyes and that grin that could light up the world.  Hugs and kisses forever, sweet boy.    

BOGGLES THE MIND

 It amazes me how often life in broad terms meshes with life on personal terms. Is it just a coincidence or does it arise from a more sensitive eye, ear and mind, wherein one's attention is drawn to words or actions which reflect those thoughts utmost in your mind. It is as if we find a wavelength of sorts which meshes it all. Of course, we must be open to receiving these hints, or connections, if we are to benefit from it.

   Whatever the cause, definition or explanation, it works for me. Picking a book up at random and finding a relevant statement or hearing a piece of music which connects to your thoughts via the score and/or the lyrics, can be awakening or inspirational, or a validation of one's thinking and observations of life. I often get a very welcome sense of comfort - i.e. that I am not nuts or at least nuts along with companions. 

Knowing there are others with similar thoughts or concerns is a powerful motivation or incentive to step further along on the chosen path. The one hitch to this validation is that one must be very, very careful to choose properly, to be open to the truth   rather than to misleading, false come-ons which are designed to entrap, to cause harm, generally ginned up for selfish reasons rather than for the good and positive for all. 

This past week has been such a time, replete with numerous instances of meshing, some for the good and others which validate and heighten the level of concern. One instance arose at a show during which a song of Aretha Franklin was mimed, and a certain phrase caught my attention. The lyrics were "my soul was in the lost and found' and that soul was found, retrieved and returned to its owner. 

The loss of souls, of positive motivations, a resultant rise of levels of evil and hate have long gained my attention. Much to my dismay I have long wondered why this trend of lost souls, discarded souls, was mushrooming. Is it that we cannot withstand the attraction, the lure, of the selfish, basest parts within? Do we all open ourselves to our personal 'Lolas'? Why do so many of these souls remain neglected, reaching their sell by dates and then thrust aside, worthless, useless.    

I wish I knew the answers but at this point I can only think that Man is naturally evil rather than good, and temptations to do the wrong thing, to indulge in the negative, to desire the momentary 'thrills' of being a big bad bold dude - or dudette - are far too powerful to resist. Those souls? Unto death condemned. Some of the owners do not even notice or care if they do notice, and the positive note of finding, rescuing, and redeeming these souls goes missing. Thoughts of concern, of deep worry for the future validated, albeit not what our wish is.

         "The old world is dying,                                              And the new world is struggling to be born;              Now is the time of monsters."                                          Antonio Gramsci

A brutal attack, babies slaughtered, women violated with bestiality, hostages taken, kept in horrid conditions, many dying in captivity. A nation mourning its dead. A nation with a new national song, with haunting tune and words. A nation seeking, praying for the return of two little boys, Kfir, who turned one after three months in captivity, and his brother, Ariel,4, along with a horrified, terrorized mother who clutched both to her. A nation trying to avoid civilian death, even as the terrorists, the murderers hide among them, ARE them.    

Crazed, wrathful, evil minded people indulging in the oldest memes of hatred - that of Jew hatred- crowd the streets, fill them with those who hate and those who are dupes, and disrupt life globally. Who call, again, for genocide to be waged against the Jews. Politicians who go right along. Educational figures who refuse to call urged genocide a violation of school policy, and claim it is only when one acts upon it, actually engages in that pursuit. Crap!!!!!

A former president who incited riot and rebellion, against his own nation as he refused to engage in the required peaceful transfer of power. A demented man who echoes the words and theories of Hitler, who promises openly, to be a dictator who locks all opponents up, who will use the defense forces within the nation against its own people, who has been indicted 91 times, found guilty of fraud, with many a trial awaiting, including that of treason.

  Why, why and wherefore are there those who admit he is a crook, is off track, but will vote for him. Why are legislators guilty, complicit in the planning and operation of the rebellion, allowed to remain free and even run for office?

What has become of the country?

What will become of this world?             

 American democracy is at crisis point- possibly a point from which there is no return.  

The monsters of the poem are here, and they among us, are, in fact, us.

Be wise, be careful, be alert.

 Rescue and revive the abandoned souls.

 We must prepare and act NOW. NOW. 

Yitzy, my sweet, golden, innocent boy, what would you have made of this world?

Perhaps you have some pull with the Big Guy.  Counsel Him that His people are in severe danger and attention is imperative.

Hugs and kisses, always and forever.  

                                                      

LOOK TO THE RIGHT, LOOK TO THE LEFT

 The words of the title are heard at beginning of the year meetings at prestigious institutes of higher learning, at armed forces inductions to training programs for elite units, for anywhere that a reference or even threat to or - promise - of exclusiveness works. It is simple. State bald 'facts' presented as general knowledge, and anxious candidates will buy into it. Why not, for all love to be part of some exclusionary group which includes only the special. If one is 'special' via inclusion and exclusion, then wow! Life is validated and one is uplifted no matter how low the truth actually is.  Celebration time for some as those excluded slink away in shame and scorn.  Simple, right? And if one walks away immediately, refusing the challenge, and the rewards of success, well, who would want them anyway?  Quitters not welcome is the mantra, chanted and branded. Those who fight, who persevere, who blossom in challenge - that is for us. The remainder -losers. Who? Look to the right, look to the left. Who remains standing are those who qualify, fighters all. 

However, in the atmosphere of today's world, the mantra has taken on a sinister, frightening, growing interpretation. It does not matter whether you stand in the camp of the leftists or the rightists. Antisemitism, rabid Jew hatred is now a unifying, THE unifying, force in politics. All can grab banners, scrawl vicious platitudes and march, head held high, so proud to be included in this glorious club. Oh, the courage it takes to rip and shred posters of kidnapped civilians now held in abominable conditions, if even alive or able to survive their fate subservient to the rampant lies of   "innocent" civilians, of which there are very few, if any, within Gaza. Even better, attack.   

Lies, from the sublime to the asinine, from ridiculous to dangerous, are spewed forth from these forked tongued creatures. They spout pious engagement within the DEI movement, meant, they say, to include, to seek out and create equity. How? Not by the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., for he dreamed of a time when people will be judged not by the color of their skin - or any discriminative factor, but on their merit. Meanwhile, we stand and wait. And wait. And wait. As conditions grow worse, day by day, lie by lie, falsifying 'facts', photo shopping false pictorial memes, all garbage inhaled by the eager to breathe, to inhale, this so refreshing, liberating set of tropes of ugliness. 

This ugliness is adopted by all who need to be part of the latest trend of society, to be with it. Never mind if one is a Jew, for you are 'different'. You have courage, for you desert your brethren during this time of crises, proving your worthiness, your value, hence not the target of hate and haters. Well, been there, done that, tried that and it does not work. People sell their souls in their endeavors to remain upright in the massive revamping of society.    

You stand aside, look away, as your favorite, beloved aunt, Jewish, who dared to marry into your family, 'polluting' the blood, is dragged away.         Never mind that your neighbor who has been such a good friend, a lifesaver so many times, is now taken away as you look away. Obviously, he is guilty of something.  It must be so, for if not, there is an inherent evil in the world and you have bought into it, have become part and parcel in and of its ugliness.

Now it has become the fight of the billionaires. Jews vs non-Jews. Those who have seen the light and those who rejected that false light generated by hate, by the machinations of the Devil, by the willingness of humans to buy anything which would raise their social standing. It is fascinating to observe the deniers sing a different tune when they realize that hey, they are Jewish too and all the money in the world cannot put aside the fate shared with other Jews of the world no matter the standing, no matter the riches, no matter their 'usefulness' for the one determining factor is   Jewishness, as determined by others.

Yes, there is discrimination in the world. Yes, it is unfair, but reverse racism, or blaming every single fault of society on one group is not the answer, for in fact, it merely postpones the next lap, wherein a second target is chosen. Hate needs to be constantly fed and its food is people.  Hate is ugly and bloody and self-perpetuating. It sours the soul, and the acidity is cutting and sharp, painful to the extreme.

More frightening to me is the phenomenon of this Jew hatred finding a comfortable and growing niche within extremes of the political scale. And is increasingly adopted by supposed moderates.  Actual questioning of the right of Israel to exist.       I am frightened by the speed of the abandonment of Israel by its supposed supporters. 

These are questions with no answers. Not for the millennia past nor those to come - maybe. What will the future look like for our inheriting generations? I try to censor my thoughts, my putting them into words. When the story of a hero who tried to save children from the ovens of Europe, mostly Jewish children, why are the advance ads missing that one word - Jewish? Being written out of our own sufferings, our own painful history. Negated!!!How dare they!!!!  

Are we now in a simple bursting of a gas bubble of evil that will die down? Are we at the end of beginning and what beginning would that be? What end will come to be? Is all this able to be defeated or is it a hopeless quixotic hope? Are the blades of the windmill of hate capable of destroying our blades of optimism and humanity? Hell if I know.

 I do know that I worry for my family, for the families of the clan, of the tribe, of the good people of this earth. Are we, they, enough to contravene this awful ever growing into reality ugliness - go know.

 Go question the Guy upstairs. And while raising questions ask Yitzy to come with you. His innocence and purity of soul should help.    

 Yitzy, hear the call of your family, missing you, asking that you serve as a proponent of the people of earth.    

Talk to that Dude up there. Get his attention.  Speak up.

Miss you, golden boy. A lot. As do the rest of your world.

Hugs and kisses always and forever.        

BORROWED TIME

 Peter and Paul are notorious misfits when it comes to finances. One is robbed to pay off debts to the other and back again.  Apparently, they lack proper financial understanding and planning and go ignorant into the financial world, basing faulty decisions upon their rather shaky base. Certainly, they are the worse for their neglect and ignorance for their financial record remains with them, forever, in this day of permanent records held by various social media sites. Nothing is forgiven nor forgotten, and history can be dragged up years after offenses or errors, even if remedied and atoned.  Even reparations and compensation do not erase the original offense, by accident or on purpose.

Peter and Paul, these incompetents, are always and forever now on borrowed time. Someone somewhere somehow will dig up the dirt and toss it into the air and watch for its landing areas. Their borrowed time had run out, as it always does, and ugly consequences ensue. However, there is one more thing we must understand when it comes to borrowed time. It is more generally inclusive, referring to all areas fraught with danger and exposure. Right? Wrong? Are some errors or purposeful deeds forgivable or not?  Can forgiveness and/or repentance be valid? What if all do not wish to forgive? Does that then negate the feelings of others?

These are questions that in Talmudic reference are designated as "tay- kooh". A question forever, with no firm definitive decision. An extremely pertinent example of "borrowed time" relevant to a critical existential situation, with no true atonement possible, is the evil hostage plot within and beneath Gaza.  There is no forgiving, no remediation, no atonement possible as the consequences are severe and permanent. Direct from the council room of the Devil, these rabid wolves in human skin, hold every decent person on this planet hostage, as the ending becomes ever darker, immutable, soaked in the evil, poisonous and corrosive acid from the arteries of Satan himself. This is borrowed time at its worst.    A good ending for them? Between zero and none. Negative.   

Unfortunately, there is a plentiful folder of further instances of borrowed time referring to Jews round the world, all time running out, borrowed time situations. In the game of Beat the Clock, that clock is beating us.  Rising vicious antisemitism, part of a long-term plan wherein huge amounts of money was injected into the universities, sympathetic professors, Moslems and not, were placed in positions of influence and voila! The huge demonstrations, the rising level of violence, of harassment and intimidation, of major interference in the daily lives of residents of cities nationwide, and what next? I fear what awaits, possibly to the point of open warfare and puppets and fools of Hamas and Iran wage open warfare against Jews and supporters. Not a pretty picture. Certainly not reassuring.

In the words of a Canadian official, after a bombing of a Jewish place of business, a fire, and ugly, devastating words of hate, reminiscent of Nazi Germany, this is what is happening. " This is the  tipping point,” ... “This is not graffiti on a bus shelter. This is not lawful protest protected by constitutional right. This is a criminal act. It is violent, it is targeted, it is organized"   We Jews have   been spitting into the wind concerning the frightening acts of hate, its cruel intents growing in strength and boldness, even as the world remains blind, or apathetic, or actively joining in. Even when the Jew hatred is acknowledged, it comes with a tail of islamophobia. There is nothing to compare in the amount and depth of these two nasty topics. I wish them no harm if they leave me and mine alone, cease their poisonous invective and incitement, and behave the way people of good intent and positive nature are meant to do, to be. 

We Jews are in a perilous position, America, once our biggest supporter, recognizing our value to the country, to the world, keeping in mind the recent history of planned extermination and the realities of the Middle East, well, she is now wavering. Under pressure from promoted supporters and advocates of Jew hatred, of abandonment of Israel, of buying into the falsehoods of 'colonialism', of 'white elitism' - and ain't  that a sad ironic bitter joke, well, we are losing our adherent, our backup, our go to friend. The winds are shifting. Once assured friends are slowly morphing into enemies and detractors, while others who now support Israel are lacking depth in their support and devotion. A lack of understanding of the situation, of the twists and turns of the Arab mind, their values incompatible with much of western values, compounds the problem. 

A political situation, a campaign for presidency and other seats within the government remain as big, strong elephants in the room. One says he is a supporter, but truly, the only thing or idea he supports is his own seat of power, the chance to be 'dictatorial', to lock up detractors. Increased insane invective, his spouting of the words of Hitler, with 'blood poisoning' and barely disguised mantras are frightening, as is the possibility of a man indicted 91 times, a man who incited rebellion against   the nation he was sworn to protect and defend, wants once again IN. A criminal who wants, claims, immunity from the law. 

Not good, my friends, not good. Understand the consequences, the statement it makes to the world. Understand the peril it poses for Israel with the head of the chief Israel supporter a clearly insane person, more deserving and so needful of incarceration within the walls of an institution for the criminally insane than in a seat of power.     Woe upon America and woe upon Israel. Woe upon the Jews and woe upon the peoples of earth.

While there are many contributing causes leading up to our present mess, there are far fewer paths   out. I am nowhere near that pay grade, but still, I wish all the big shots would hear and see and feel and know the angst, the tension, the blatant palpable fear and despair in all those of lesser pay grades, those discounted within the creation of policies.  We know that either we wake up or well, the rest of that sentence is clear as glass.  

Yitzy, perhaps you are the better for not being here, though your absence has left a huge gap behind, never ever to be filled. Perhaps your goodness, your intelligence, your care for others would have led us to an answer, a path out of this mess. And perhaps this is exactly what G-d wished to deny us, at least at present. Whatever the reason, the oh so wrong results, your death, is part and parcel of my daily arguments with G-d. 

But know, my sweet boy, that you are so truly missed, so loved, and we send you the heaps and heaps of love and kisses coming your way.

And know the fund for the writing of a Torah in your name is in touching distance of the goal. Your last wish fulfilled.   

HERE, CHICKIE, CHICKIE

 Anybody seen Chicken Litle lately? Apparently, there are those who do not like his attitude, his 'fear mongering' words, and need to shut him up and NOW. When asked why the emphasis on the now, why the sudden focus on one little voice among many competing voices, made great by others, there was a great deal of hemming and hawing, clearing of throats, swiping at noses, scratching of heads and caresses to jaws, picking at imaginary lint on clothing and finally a response of sorts: "Harumph!   Not sure, actually." Standard hot air response.

The larger question is why we are having these spurts of attention and deep focus where once it was let go, chaff in the wind, a case of one person exercising right of free speech. When, suddenly, did free speech become such a hot topic, one which questioned and challenged the very core of American democracy. 

Why do we now tiptoe round that topic, willing to shut people down via accusations of prejudice or unfair beliefs, troubling attitudes and whatever catchall phrase that works. Designated okay and not okay evaluations. Pick and choose, follow the crowds, put independent thought away in a corner of a dark closet and be safe, part of the trend. Do not stand out for then one risks becoming the nail which needs to be hammered down. Thinking for oneself, gathering the facts, discerning the dis and mis information, evaluating properly, employing that truth, those facts, and if one is honest, well - that is the clear way to follow.

Why. then has this simple formula become anathema, more difficult to understand and follow than the most complex chemical equation or some theory of geometry. Why, seemingly, has the courage of individuals become subservient to the stated, not necessarily so, needs and defines of society? Beats me! Society has taken on the traits of lemmings, or the herd of buffaloes who follow the chief right over the cliff or into the sea, to drown, to lay dead at the rocky bottom, broken by stones of ugliness and denial, the faint sounds of clapping from die hard claque members echoing. 

We choose 'influencers ' to follow, chosen for their outrageousness or false wisdom, their fancy clothing or the weird causes they espouse, statements of patent falsity stated by pretty and/or handsome faces are the arbiters of the day.  Why bother with the difficult and demanding tasks of gathering the facts, evaluating, and thinking for oneself when others can carry that burden for you.

  One is then free to indulge in the fantastic opportunities right there before you. Wallow in the fake screams and laughter emanating from the funhouses and roller coasters of life lived for the moment, rather than establish one's own balance, much better suited for a just, strong, long-lasting society. One that bodes well for a future of promise and optimism, rather than a dystopian one, which now appears to be gaining ground on us. 

Simply put, what we need is balance. We do not need a deranged chicken shrieking re the sky falling upon us. We do not need the doomsayers who hold with no hope, no optimism, only the gloom and doom befitting their skewed facts. Nor do we need those who wander blithely through life, deliberately ignorant of the challenges we must face and meet, while continuing to remain capable of fun times, of entertainment venues of sense, beauty, fun and thought, rather than resort to the extreme lengths of much of today's entertainment. 

We need optimism mixed with reality. We need advanced thinking as well as a treasuring of past achievements and growth of understanding and wisdom.  We need balance. 

"...an even distribution ...enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady"..."putting something in a steady position so that it does not fall." 

That balance will come only with hard work. It will come when terrorists realize that hate only causes their fight to fail, as it espouses not freedom, not goodness, but only the opposite -hatred, failure, tyranny. All that furthers more hatred and enmity, more deafness and blindness, less willingness   to compromise and be sensible. Or realize the futility, even the wrongness of one's chosen cause. We share this earth together and together we stand tall and have an earth upon which to live, or we die as one in a maelstrom of our own stupidity and making.

Balance will come when we no longer fail to condemn those who condemn others to a life of bloodshed, of poverty and hopelessness. We will have balance when the yawning, obscene gap between the ranks of society is breached. With fairness and appropriateness, with the hard gained knowledge that to live in desperation is to encourage hate, more hate and yet more, culminating in wars at horrific cost.    

When there is balance, there is fairness. There is   hope. Where there is balance it will not be the 'martyr' who kills children in the name of one's God, as the hero, but the peacemaker, the luminary whose eyes are clear and bright, whose heart is pure, who sees the truth, hidden though it might be.

   Balance will come when we do not play up an axis of evil - a three H Club, the club of murderers-Hamas, Hezbollah and Houthi. A club which promises only destruction and chaos and despair, for individuals and for all humanity.  

Balance will come when we stand up to cowards who denounce all who do not fit their rigid discriminatory ideas of who is worthy and who is not. Antisemitism will be more powerful than the absence of literary honesty. One causes life destroyed while the other can be remedied with confession and repair.  In the skewed world of today those who condemn remain in the seats of power unless massive efforts are mounted against them.             

We will have balance when free speech has a clear definition and boundaries. When there is understanding that implication that one is free to state whatever, unless one contemplates shouting fire! in a crowded building, for then   'free' speech is detrimental to all, even up to and including death, of soul and body. Only education will repair the misunderstandings re the limits of free speech, when some things are not okay to be spoken. As of yet, we have abysmally failed in that department. Longtime mantras of hate must be disproven and eliminated. That will take time and intense effort.

But can we truly, to the nth degree, define, find, establish and maintain that balance? 

The question of the millennia. 

The answer - still awaits us, offstage, in the wings someplace. However, if we continue to seek, that     search itself will be beneficial. Maybe even usher in a world where cures for cancer, of the cancer which steals our children, will be found, rather than the next generation killing machine.

If only.

More kisses and hugs, sweet boy. You are sorely missed and always and forever loved.        

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

  Be careful indeed with your wishes.    

“I have a greater task for you, my servant.
    Not only will you restore to greatness
    the people of Israel who have survived,
but I will also make you a light to the nations—
    so that all the world may be saved.”

Such is one  English translation of the words of the prophet Isaiah as he transmits the assurances of G-d to the people of Israel, that one day, no date given, they will be rescued from the misery they have endured and will become a light unto the nations of the world, living testament of the glories of G-d, and that he keeps His promises, albeit too often too late and destruction was already over the top.

All fine and good, though I wonder why there are such long intervals of pain and misery, of awful conditions of life -or refusal of the right to live. When atrocities happen, be it the Inquisition of Spain or the 1508 Opporto, Portugal massacre of 3,000 Jews, or the burning of the Jews of York in a tower in England in the mid 1200s. The unspeakable horrors of the Holocaust preceded by awful pogroms of the 18th and19th centuries.  Never ending and I wonder at this light we were supposed to be. This gift which seemed more of a terrible gag gift than one of reassurance.

This light we were to be was too dimmed down, too low a wattage to see, too low to be able to think, to formulate words powerful enough, meaningful enough, to convey the inconceivable, yet so terrifyingly real. Even today, when the world is rife with shrieking specialty groups who clamor loud and long, there is a haunting silence when it comes to the unspeakable inflicted upon Jews, be they Diaspora Jewry or Israeli Jews. Any and all are considered fair game, and the world is able to maintain strict radio silence without breaking a sweat. Even in America, which once held her own lamp high for those in need, has now dimmed that light to the point of endangered continued existence. 

 Perhaps the nations of the world emulate the feelings of anger and resentment of the brothers of Joseph, his father's favored son, and they turned on him similar to the resentment of the nations of the world that the Jews, those wretched downtrodden slaughtered Jews think, believe, they are indeed favored by G-d, will be rescued by Him from all woes at some vague time, never specific. At that point, amazingly, these same Jews will be raised to be an enlightening light, a lamp unto the peoples of the world. Amazing! Who can believe that? Even Jews have a tough time buying into that, particularly as one looks at their history.

 Not only ancient history, lost in the mists of time, but also of the very much present times. The very bloody present. Families wired together and burned alive. Women abused and violated in an orgy of unspeakable rampage, of bestiality beyond description. Of children kidnapped, of captives brutalized, fates highly uncertain. Beyond the power of words, of language, for nothing can truly convey its depth, its horror, the agony of survivors and victims, of their families left behind, its sheer inhumanity - unthinkable, yet there it is - in full technicolor -perpetrated upon the nation favored to hold a lamp high, to be an example for other nations. Even as the world, once again, always and forever, stands in silence.    

Your lamp is failing, Lord, Your voice fading, holding less power to convince. Reality tells us otherwise. In fact, we might have a viable, quite satisfactory solution, at least temporarily, until such time as You truly remember and carry through on Your promises made to the people of Israel. When You allow them to hold high a proud, bright lamp full power, eternal power.

In the interim, there is another group who has given itself a name, a twisted version of the name of a former, now extinct people, Philistines, who lived over in the Gaza area, a warlike, cruel nation, defeated by King David. They now claim to be the true favored nation. They are claiming the lamp. They know the right path to light, G-d help us. 

  When I read this claim yesterday, I had to laugh. Oh, be very careful what you wish for. Be very careful indeed. By all means, take the right to the lamp along with the fate of the favored nation. Oh yes, could not be more apropos. Life is tough indeed for the favored nation. Been there, done that, still doing it for millennia. Tough life but hey, who are we to deny you the opportunity you so devotedly wish for and claim. Quite unpleasant but you are familiar with that state are you not, only this time you will be on the receiving end, the recipient of all that you once dished out. That is the life of the favored nation. Enjoy. 

Oh, the suffering you will face, oh the empathy and regret you will find when you suffer, undergo the torments you inflicted on others. When your families are endangered. When life is just so tough, too tough to be but there it is. Take it or leave it.      

 After a few millennia or so, we will relieve you of the burden of the lamp and will raise it high. The Lord at that time will remember His vows, and the lamp will shine high and bright, enlightening the world as all people learn to work together, rather than slaughtering each other. When peace and   humanity will be the words of the day, not hate and bloodshed.

Now some of my readers, will find this terrible, so bloody, to wish upon others. Well, sorry, but I am that angry.  I am that fearful. I am that beset when I look at my people in my ancient homeland, when I take a look around my native country. Same old, same nasty old. Tell me otherwise. Tell me how to get the attention of G-d, to cancel His vacation or indifference. To answer questions needing to be asked and answers awaiting, also desperately   needed. 

Why is this happening? 

Why is the world in such turmoil and disarray. 

Why, once again is there a growing Jew hatred?

 Why have you taken one of the brightest lights in our lives, Yitzy?    

Still, I am seeking a lamp of my own to light my way, to stride forward and find the path for me.   One day, maybe.

Hugs and kisses, my sweet boy.

So loved and missed by all.

Love you, always and forever. 

TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN

  Today's posting, the first of the New Year finds itself in exactly the same time and place as yesterday's posting. In fact, I am basically going to include that posting within today's, complete with a different, new intro. However, the emotion, the angst - all there. Very unfortunately so.    

The posting, the noise of the world, the ugliness has simply drained me, physically, emotionally, take your choice. There is a need to shut it away, at least for a day, or part of it, being honest, even as the world rocks away crazily, in lunatic disharmonic pace towards destruction of all we hold dear and in fact, quite possibly the world itself.

'Who'd a thunk' that in 2024 we would be combating a bizarre battle of democracy against   authoritarianism right here in the good old USA? Who'd a thunk there would be a time when an obviously demented poisonous old man would be that close to running this country, even as he doubles down increasingly on his hate speech, his tyranny talk, the awful echos of Hitlerian verbiage caught within - rants re vermin, thugs, the poisoning and diluting of the purity of American blood, of the necessity to purge all opponents, etc. after ugly etc.  

Not to forget his 91 indictments, a common criminal at heart, a common fraudster on his taxes, a chiseling wiener. However, the bottom line is that despite all his egregious wrongdoing and planned further destruction of America, there he is, running.  To lead the country down the road to death and devastation, the same country he betrayed with his treasonous failed coup.       

In the meanwhile, here we are again, same old, same old times infinity. An ugly same old indeed.     Read on, weep with me, shed the tears alongside mine, and wonder how this has happened.  In addition, for truth, I recommend yesterday's NYT front page article follow by two full pages of their investigation of the sexual abominations perpetrated by official Hamas terrorists along with the "innocent" Palestinians who joined in with glee and malice aforethought. Why it took so long, why it was even necessary to investigate when the truth was right there in the mangled abused bodies and the horrified words of survivors and witnesses, or why organizations round the world, fighting abuse of women refused to acknowledge it. The answer:  while vehemently objecting re the women of hate world, it is okay to inflict that same violence on Jewish women. Plain, simple, clearly visible.     Then, everything goes. 

I do warn you though, the article, its contents are stomach churning, mind boggling, very difficult to withstand the ugliness finally acknowledged. It is horrifying, frightening nausea inducing article and should not be read at one sitting. It needs time to cope with and remain sane and withstand the urge to stand up and scream. The desire to go out and kill those rabid animals at fault is overwhelming. 

Then turn to YouTube and find "1,000 musicians for Israel".  Listen, again and again. Feel deep in the marrow of your bones, the tears and anguish, the situation that cannot be, should not be, yet there it is. hear the hopeless despair, the longing to return home. Home, so far away as they sit in the dark, waiting, waiting for rescue. Will it be too late?        Habayta. Home.

Bit of a longer intro than I thought it would be, but anyway, please continue on. I did edit some. A very tiny bit.

   My head, my heart, my soul, are swirling around, tinged all over with huge areas of sadness, depression and a deep confusion as to how we, the world, have become so enmeshed in filth and violent ugliness. People lose whatever humanity, whatever constrictions decency had upon them, and indulge, wallow, in the worst of the worst thoughts and deeds. 

And the world buys into this, covertly and overtly, complicit in the crimes being committed, these violations of humanity. How they can sleep while the fate of the hostages, if even alive and if so, what is their condition after 3 months of brutality, starvation, rapes, beatings, mental and physical abuse as they sit in the darkness, alone, or are held in homes of "innocent" civilians - of which there are truly none. Not a one. 

The agony of the captives, the unbearable state of being of members of their families - mesh with my personal agony and at times I cannot breathe. Yes, people will say, talk to someone, but whom? How can I converse with one who does not understand the components, the awful symbiosis taken root. However, I am on a road if not to complete recovery, for the loss, the absence of Yitzy is forever, but rather to a situation or level where   I can breathe, when my thoughts are not only aligned, or directed to, focused upon the two disasters in my life at present.  Plans of outside activities and a return to the hobbies in my life, to some laughter are increasing. 

All with one caveat. How can I ever reconcile with a G-d who is supposed to protect His people, certainly the children and yet He has not. He has been absent, yet again. Even as the worst pogrom since the Holocaust took place, continues with its horrid aftermath, threatened by its perpetrators to constant repetition what can I say? What can I understand? Are we not entitled to live lives of productivity, of love, in peace, with our families   without animals descending upon us, rabid packs of wolves who delight in the destruction of their prey?!

 The concurrent, resultant grief on two tracks of deep sadness is a difficult grief to overcome. But I am trying, and I am succeeding to a degree. I have brave people before me who have withstood   overwhelming grief or are fighting their way out of its smothering hold. My son and daughter are heroes to me, their children going to unbelievable lengths to support them even as they deal with the loss of their beloved brother.  

There remains for me a sense of abandonment, for where was G-d as we called on Him, desperately, hanging on by a thread, begging to heal that so deserving child, one who accepted his own death, at 13, before he even lived, all because he believed this was the wish of his G-d. I still cry at his depth of faith and wonder, wish to emulate that faith, but first - the anger. That anger must be at a level wherein a sane discussion can take place. But not yet. Not yet.   

Alongside is the anger and sense of abandonment of His people, once again, as He watches from His Seat of Glory, as they were brutalized, treated as war booty, held over the heads of the Israeli army. Worse, unbelievably having the rest of the world forget them as they whine, these "innocent" civilians who hold their own captives, for three months of lack of water, food, electric - even as a miracle occurs and lo and behold, fed, watered, clean,  a miracle of modern times and not to forget that busy dude who appears in so many scenes, the same donkey cart containing the same mattresses, the pictures  of Syrian devastation passing as scenes from Gaza. 

G-d, speak up. Strike our enemies even as You once did long ago. Even as You saw to the end, so late, of the Holocaust. Even as You remembered Your people and heard their cries. Even as You look down upon the captives, held so brutally, their families in agonies beyond belief, beyond understanding, and the mounting deaths of our best as they fall in battle.  

Hear Your People. Take good care of those who have gone before time, when Your help and concern were not soon enough.

And take special regard to Yitzy, so mourned, so missed.

Hugs and kisses, Yitzy, my sweet boy.

Always and forever.