JUST MUSINGS

     In a musing kind of mood. The other day I wanted to take a look at something which meant a great deal to me and suddenly realized that I had no idea where it was. It seems that I had done it again - hid something so well to keep it safe, that I could not remember where it was, where I had put it. So.....since I have been putting off a greatly needed cleaning out and ordering of drawers, shelves, closets, etc., well, now was as good a time as any.
     Tally so far - box to daughters, total rejects, two huge bags to Goodwill, lots of memories and no item. But I am not discouraged as I have found other items, some of which I had forgotten I had and am not very efficient as I stop to think when I find some of these items or special shirts or whatever.
     I began to wonder at how life has turned out. While the world seems to have gone to hell in a handbasket and I see this morning that now China is threatening us with war if we do not get out of the China Sea where they are building an island in order to increase their control of the sea and its minerals - interesting method if you can actually get away with it! But as I am here, in CVWPB, I can do little about that situation other than to wonder how we elected all these politicians who seem to have nothing between their ears other than insisting on their "principles"  which means getting their way no matter what (sound familiar) and just what can be done about this. Anyway, I am here, off the Atlantic Ocean - okay, a few miles away, but the way the waters are rising, hey, we can be oceanfront property soon enough and can you just see all the fatcats hurrying to buy here in the newly desirable neighborhood!
     Anyhow, I thought to myself how interesting life is. Once I had thoughts of retirement that had never included Florida, never thought it possible, what with bills for the kids' schools and just keeping our heads above water, but then a friend insisted that one did not have to be 100 years old to buy and live here and persuaded me to take a look. One hurried half hour look at three apartments six months later and well, hey, there we were and I am sure there are people here today who would love to go back in history and change that event! Well, tough.
     I thought I would have lots of free time, go swimming every day, read tons of books, travel maybe, just live a life of leisure, peace, serenity, visit the kids and grandkids or have them come here, and life would be sweet. No more politics - HA!- of the workplace. No more agita. Just make sure our building was taken care of and how sweet it would be. Famous last words. At least we have one of the best associations around and are proactive in keeping up with maintenance and are a friendly group of people with an active board and no dictators or incompetents here. At least that worked out for us but what about the rest?
     Well, sometimes between meetings and appointments I feel as if I am back at work again - not something I like to think or feel. I  loved my job, loved the kids, made some great friends and it is always great to hear from my educational kids but do not want to go back to the future - uh uh. But then again, I think of the new friends I have made, some truly wonderful people with  greatly varied backgrounds, all caring for each other and lots of fun. These are people I  value and appreciate and on top of that have made recontact and regeneration of older long ago friends and that is great too. I know there are people out there, need I name names - who wonder why I did not go to other CVs and spare them but I love it here and I love being a gadfly, fighting for what is right and fair, fighting for the Villagers.
     The best thing is that I have now indulged my urge to write. I wrote over the years, mainly plays for the kids to produce, a major yearly event, and some homilies, might we call them, ran some workshops and had a wonderful life, but steady writing - never had the time and now I do and I love it. Whether people read it or not - I am writing and for anyone who has a creative urge, you will understand, whether one paints, or sings, or writes music, or excels in crafts (I have zero talent there!) the urge is there and when allowed to be fulfilled it is like scratching that awful itch and wow, it feels good.
     So as I cleaned and ordered and discarded and selected and discovered I also found my own thoughts, my memories of my parents as I found several old papers of theirs, cried a little for missing them and thanking them in my head for being the parents they were, for the guidance they gave me, the wisdom they imparted - though if I will ever forget being made to miss an episode of Brave Eagle (remember that show).....
     I recommend that we all clear out the cobwebs of our closets and shelves and the cobwebs in our mind every so often. Spend time on sweet memories, even bittersweet ones, be thankful for your home and life now, and forget the aches and pains, the doctors and their appointments and infernal testing. It is good for the health, good for the mind and makes the house neater, too! But - still no item. Oh well, another couple of drawers today and maybe I will be lucky but if not - I am still lucky and Gerry is always right there at my side so life is good. Thank you, G-d.