HEY POP

     The call woke us in the middle of the night and by 2 AM we had changed our flight from later that day to the first of the day, back to NY in less than 24 hours. I had not wanted to leave, but needed to retrieve items I would need and knew I would be back almost immediately in a straight turnaround. But it was not to be that I would be by Pop's side as he passed, and so my goodbye of the day before was my last.
     Chanukah is a holiday of joy and yet a bittersweet one as the fourth candle marks the yahrtzeit of his death. In fact, the last conscious thing he did was to sit in a wheelchair on the first night, eyes closed, as he had not the strength to open them, and as we lit the candles, all together - my mom, my daughter, my sister, and a wonderful caring aide who knew the words to the blessings and the songs - with those eyes closed, he weakly waved his hand in tune with the words. All of us had tears rolling down our faces even as we smiled for my Pop loved the holiday, loved being a participating and active Jew, and afterwards we all thought how appropriate it was for this to have happened.
     Pop, thirteen years ago you left us, bereft, torn and wounded with grief, struggling to deal with your loss and today, thirteen years later we all still miss you with a deep and abiding grief. The little baby born a few months later, who carries your name, will be bar mitzvah soon and you would be proud of him. In fact, you would be proud of all your grandchildren and great grandchildren and how the memories of you are often repeated.
     I, myself, have a huge hole in my heart, the one you made when you left us. How many times over these past thirteen years have I longed to pick up a phone and ask your opinion, get your advice, hear you call me Esty Schmesty. I missed those times when you read me one of your letters to right some wrong and had you listen to my letters as well. I loved you so much and in fact, still do, and we all do. Gerry, the kids, everyone.
     A man of principles. A man who cared for the right and the just. A man who treasured family above all, who remained close to his brothers and sister, who cared for his in laws with the love of a son, and Dear G-d, how we miss you, the special man you were and will always remain in our hearts.
     So rest easy, Pop. Enjoy the company of your beloved Blanchie, watch over us with love and care, go argue with the Big Guy again as you strive even now to fix the world! We will talk of you today, especially with the little ones, so your memory remains sharp and clear and they know they have great footsteps to follow.
     Hey, Pop. I love you. I miss you. I will always hold you deep in my heart and soul. Hey, Pop.