Wednesday, January 8, 2020

YOICKS!!!! TURNIPS, CABBAGES, AND DUNDERHEADS

     We have a national kitchen garden at the White House, but lately all it seems to grow are turnips and cabbages, while crisp veggies go by the board. No, not literally, but actually, literally enough. What indeed have we been growing in DC and is any of it digestible in the nation's digestive system? Sorry to say, I believe not!!
     Turnips and cabbage are the most tasteless of vegetables unless seasoned with something else, but when a bunch of dunderheads are running the show, forget abut improving our national diet. These turnips and cabbages are among the most tasteless of vegetables in oh so many ways.
     Of course, we have the Chief Turnip. The man has no functioning brain other than the most primitive brain stem functions. His permanent status is always lead with your chin, always, and always fight - as long as it is someone else doing the fighting and not him. And again, we have the phenomena of a bunch of cabbages, wilted and just about useless, voting - oh, wait, did I say voting! How silly of me! Ripping up the crispest veggies we have in our nation and sending them off to be chopped, to be sent home in fancy flag draped wood boxes, and nothing will have been accomplished other than the shedding of more blood, more loss for our nation and the world, for the world is also at a stage of mortal danger now as well as us.
     No, "all is not well" as the turnip stated yesterday. The bland and almost useless turnip used the death of an American contractor as his springboard to the biggest impeachment diversion ever, and lookie here! The American contractor was one of those dirty and spicy veggies we need to add to turnips and cabbages, for he was, shhhhh, an immigrant born in Iraq, and a naturalized citizen of our country. Aha!! So it seems that immigrants are acceptable, what, only in their deaths! Bad agricultural planning here!
     A chief cabbage called a Lindsay Graham cabbage, states that there is now an act of war. He is correct. We have assassinated a creep, a terrorist, but he was a member of a government, a near head of government, and we are supposed to be out of the business of killing leaders we do not like. If it were about nasty veggies ruining the garden, well, there are many of them out there yet no one proposed killing them. So what is the difference here? Soleimani has proven to be just the diversion the turnip and his cabbage army needed to save his ass from impeachment conviction. Shut down Bolton, who will provide transparency. Shut down the absolutely necessary testimony of Chief Turnip, and start the campaign to smear all against this dangerous behavior with the taint of being anti American, anti patriotism. Are we forgetting that the 'act of war' as Graham Cabbage swears by, the missile attack on two bases where American troops are, remember, that attack was precipitated by our attack, by threats of war crime activities on our part, or rather the part of the Turnip and his Cabbages, and that nation responded, whether our Chief Turnip liked it or not. We did the first act of war. We did!! Just like in Vietnam with a false report of an attack on a ship of ours in Tonkin Bay. Are we to go back to those days of fewer gardens, fewer crisp and bright veggies for the nation, and too much going at a steep cost and loss? NO, I hope not,for this war would be one that starts out bordering on nuclear options with two crazed leaders, turnips and cabbages, at the helm, with itchy fingers, infected and infested with kitchen garden grubs.
     Let us not forget the dunderhead of the title. There he is - McConnell, of the Senate, the power hungry, corrupt, lost his way cabbage, who joins the rest of the dunderheads, defined as a "stupid person" by the dictionary and here are a few other synonyms for that name.idiot · ass · halfwit · nincompoop · blockhead · buffoon · dunce · dolt · ignoramus · cretin · imbecile · dullard · moron · simpleton · clod · dope · ninny · chump · dimwit · nitwit · goon · dumbo · dummy · dum-dum · dumbbell · loon · jackass · bonehead ·
   It seems that we are in a bad agricultural stage here, and poor planning of the garden, poor agrarian practices, wasteful use of garden equipment and hands to continue the gardening have brought us to this point.
    Dunderheads all. Dangers to us all, led by the Chief Turnip and his cabbage government, aided by the chief Dunderhead and his minor dunderheads of the Senate who have the ability to destroy the garden in its entirety, leaving our nation with a Turnip Dictator and a crushing of democracy, the best fertilizer for this garden and for us as a country, for the world at large.
     So, anyone for gardening? Anyone for tearing out the ueless veggies, sending them away from the swamp they have created, bring on new gardeners, ones with sense, with taste, with promise of  better garden for us all? It can be done, the laws are there, if we only had a brain, as the scarecrow stated, if we only used the brains we do have already.
     "For G-d's sake, let us sit upon the ground  
      And tell sad stories of the deaths of kings."
       William Shakespeare, Richard II
Poor leaders have been pulled out before. We do not need the violence of the Richard II derooting, for we have laws upon our side, but we do need to change our leaders ASAP, be it now, hopefully, but not realistically what with the cabbages of the Senate, but 2020 elections are fast approaching and anyone, anything, is better than the Turnip now in office, now running the garden, planting only more turnips, more cabbages, installing more dunderheads as garden aides, and crushing the American dream. 
Yoicks indeed!!

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