First it was this weird virus scything down the people of China. It was far away, so a curiousity it became for all of us seemingly outside the epicenter, distance keeping us safe. But distances grew less and less as the world truly demonstrated how small and how intertwined we all are. Truly, the butterfly and the hurricane theory, and in a deadly manner, an attack on our very lives, even as we faced it with little preparation, little acknowledgement, denial, denial and more denials, and a confused effort finally emerging where politics played a deadly life and death game on us. We were as dust in the wind as the deadly virus grew ever closer and closer.
Then it hit us here at home. We had frantic travelers overseas trying to get home as borders were locked down, as if closed borders would stop this microscopic enemy. It was here, behind the front lines, and we were weaponless, or using antiquated ideas and equipment - if we even had any. The public roiled and boiled with both too much misinformation and too little truth.
It did not seem real at first. The idea of putting on masks, gloving up, learning to obsess over washing hands and how to wash, the not so welcome policy of isolation, ripping families apart just when they are needed, when unity and love is so important. Grandparents wondering if they will ever be able to hug their little ones again, even as the 'little' ones lose their jobs, as retirement funds begin to flow outwards to help children and grandchildren who lost jobs but the mortgage, the bills were still there. It is so real yet so unreal at the same time.
Living in this world became very difficult. Even as the nation was immersed in this life and death struggle, politics inserted its ugly head once again. Those who blindly followed Trump resisted social isolation efforts, have defied them as they grow in time, and now 'rebel', chanting "Give me liberty or give me death" as they protest rules that have saved their lives andwill continue to do so.
Republican governors are opening up states and the morons flock to the beaches, thinking they are invulnerable. Then we will be treating them for their sins, and personally, if they voluntarily put themselves out there like that, forgetting social distancing, forgetting protective wear and behavior because they need to go bowling or eat out or do their nails, well, then personally, deny them the treatment they will need after stupidity wins the game. There has to be a consequence for those reckless souls even as they take away needed time, personnel and equipment from those who are victims of COVID-19 through no misbehavior of their own. Harsh? Yes, but the line needs to be drawn.
There is no doubt about it- life has grown hard but it will get even harder as we try to gain a hold on this virus, as we desperately seek new treatments, a vaccine, anything that will alleviate the suffering it has caused and will contiue to cause as it rips through our world. The collateral effects, compounded by a climate and environment gone mad, will add to this with more tragedies, with hunger pandemics, but the beaches? Oh, yeah!
There are those who still remain beyond the deadly touch of this damned virus. They still do not know anyone suffering from it or only a distant acquaintance. But that group is diminshing in numbers. Personally, it seemed far away from us in the beginning, and we also hoped that we would distance, grin and bear the problems, worry and fret over the economy which surely would reopen soon, and then, then, it was not so far away.
First it was closer acquaintances. Then it was friends, but not so close. Then it reached into the family and hit a nephew and after a hard fought battle he won, thank G-d. Next step? Closer friends began to fall ill, and then it happened. Good friends, important friends, people who played big parts in our lives, past, present, whatever, and they were gone. Just like that. We sat and stared at each other, poleaxed at the events, at the deaths. This was not so far away, not so vague, but terribly real. Too real and could not be undone.
Then, then, it is hard to write of, for it is that close, that permanent. Several days ago we received a phone call that our son in law had taken his father to the hospital, low oxygen saturation, confused. Both helpless to fix the problem. That was worry enough. Good news followed, or so we thought. He was rallying, might even be able to go to a rehab facility. Smiles on the faces once again.
But life is not so sure anymore and yesterday afternoon we received another phone call, first from a daughter, tense, yet calm as she understood what needed to be done, but so concerned for others, and then the phone calls, the sobbing calls from the grandchildren we shared and so loved. How to explain to them the vagaries and cruelties of life. How to comfort them when in a matter of days, their beloved grandfather was ripped from them. How do we explain it to ourselves and how to deal with the fact that we cannot fly there for a funeral, nor visit the family in mourning, to comfort them, and for the shiva period of mourning to be sat alone, distanced, even as the concern rises high for a grandmother, a wife of eons, as she sits alone, bereft of husband, bereft of her sons and their arms right now when she needs it so much. There is no explanation that is sufficient.
Finally, how does one reassure all the other kids that no, this does not mean doom for all grandparents or aunts and uncles. Like the angel that passed over doorposts on the first Passover, the angel passes over again, sometime stopping for reasons we cannot understand, can mourn, but must accept.
This virus, this plague, is real. It is too true. What we need to do is prepare ourselves for possiblities and to strenghten ourselves to bear up under its burdens, to do the right thing, to install and follow good and truthful people, leaders and experts. We need to understand that yes, life is unbelievably difficult now in so many ways, but we can reach out and 'touch' through technology. We can volunteer. We can obey the laws. We can understand why things must still remain closed for a bit more, even as we are warned that this winter it is likely that two epidemics - flu and Covid - will meet up at the same time.
Frightening, but if we allow the experts to work unimpeded, if we fix the mess of a response that we have, if we stop playing politics with lives as the payments, then perhaps, perhaps, we can beat back this thing. If not, or until then, we all will be getting those phone calls. I wish it on no one. I wish it no more for our family, for the families of all, but only G-d knows the end of it all.
From the bottom of my breaking heart, from my mourning soul, please, please, be careful, follow the rules, rein in your impatience, and have some trust for someone, somewhere that this battle will be won. In the interim, please, please, exercise caution, be and stay well. Be safe, as safe as you can be.
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