I admit it. I am afraid. Perhaps it is a result of the aging process as one's body begins to turn traitor, and what used to be easy becomes more and more challenging. Or perhaps it is the fear that hits one every time a search begins for the word that eludes you, or why the hell you cannot remember that person's name. I am afraid of what comes next, of the horror of living past one's ability to function as a working being, physically and mentally. And the growing fear of the world we are living in and with, begins to overshadow all.
So I worry. My PD symptoms grow worse, more tremors, a tad stiffer every day it seems, cannot hop or jump anymore, and just getting out of bed becomes an issue. Thank the Lord Above - and I do - every day, at times on an almost hourly basis, that my mental functions appear to be intact. But things do get harder as the body and its parts gang up on you and the main growth industry in your home is the number of pill bottles on the medicine shelf!!
I guess, though, that this side of the grass is better than the other, though at times I wonder what will be. Will the future actually encourage a positive attitude or will it get worse. Will pandemics grow more frequent? Will the destruction of an independent federal judgeship and the partisanship of Barr and the Justice Department induce failure in our government, in a loss of trust that will not allow any federal governmental organ to function? And what would that mean? What can be worse than a Senator voting to suppress an independent overseer body as Graham did? Are these people working for themselves or for us and unfortunately it seems to be landing more and more in the selfish and corrupt side. And then.....and then.......
No, life is not a sure and safe thing when the government and the people are out of tune. I fear for the future. When a President is termed a child, a whining and spoiled child - and worse - and worst of all, it is all true and more than that - yes, I am afraid.
When screaming banshees stand out there, maskless, in the midst of all this and rant "You do not have the authority to govern my body," I then wonder, for these are the very people who want control over women's bodies as they ban the right of choice. They shout "You guys are overstepping your boundaries," and do not realize that they are the sinners here as they are hypocrites, as they wish to defy the wise saying: one does not shout fire in a crowded theater!! Or anywhere that is false and endangers others. What the hell do they think they are doing when they endanger the rest of us. The deaths are not hoaxes. They are real and do they have to wait for the death of a loved one before they understand the parameters of this mess?!
Pence swears that the situation is getting better even as the cases set record numbers all over yesterday. People are unemployed, lost and losing their medical coverage so what does this administration that could give a *&** about people do? They ask the Supreme Court, now stacked with blind and backwards thinkers - or no thinkers - to cancel all of Obamacare! Be afraid! Be very afraid. This administration and its backers want only for themselves and as for the rest of us, well, either go straight to hell, or do that in your misguided and dangerous support for this man who has not a whit of feeling or empathy for anyone other than himself.
Russian criminals are hacking into the computers of home systems where people are working. Why not? We already invited them into our lives, just ask Trump, so what to do when a guest overstays? Grin and bear it?! We should not be in this place. However, at least the banks and Wall Street are wondering what will happen to their lovely world when Warren becomes Secretary of the Treasury and rules and regulations are reinstated; when there are inspections and audits; when fatcats will not live off of the little people.
So yes, there is much to fear. But, a small tiny glimmer of hope is out there as well. It begins to shine brighter with each person who changes a mind, who admits to the horrocious failures of Trumpian administration, who will pull the lever for life, for America.
Yes, and then while we might fear for our own individual situation, the fear of national survival, the fear lest we are not well and safe will be eradicated from the national psyche.
If only. But it can come true, at least the first steps on this better road. Just get there and vote on November 3 or mail in your ballots. Demand that mail in ballot. Demand to vote. Vote!!
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