WANTED: FEET AND MORE FEET, LOTS OF FEET

     So many, many feet are needed. The man keeps shoving them in his mouth, they freeze from the lack of human warmth, and then more feet are necessary to fill the need. So many, many feet. I wonder....would he be satisfied with a foot shaped trophy for the most feet ever in one mouth? Perhaps a star added to that for getting them through that tight pursed up mouth of his! He so needs adulation and recognition - of anything.
     Can you believe what comes out of that mouth? There has to be some major disconnect in the wiring for that brain, a wee one at that, to allow those words and more to roll out that mouth. Let us try to understand this poor, persecuted man, chased after by so much Fake News. The topic is the pandemic, you know, the same one that was going to disappear, resemble the common cold.. right, that one.
      So, to business. Close to five million - FIVE MILLION - cases of infection, and we are finding out that so many never recover fully, presenting with severe symptoms such as cognitive issues, lack of hearing, taste, smell, fatigue , but never mind that, for they really do not matter, do they? Nope, for "it is what it is!" Ask him. He said that. Such a good and calm philosophy able to accept life's little dings and dents. Uh, that is when they occur to others. Let's peek in on the latest interview. Careful going around the piles of waiting feet.
     "Oh, no please don't go, not yet. Oh, the places we still have to go. Over 155,000 dead, increasing at the oh so wonderful rate of over 1,000 a day, but, courage, heads up, chests out. Why? "It is what it is." There you have it. Just roll with the punches. What can one do? And actually, we are beating it, the best in the world. Yup. Righty o!  Why just look at the numbers. We have one quarter of the cases. 
     Great numbers! I made America great again. Yup. Oh, excuse me, for Mike Pompeo and good old Stephen Miller are reminding me that the feet presently in my mouth need replacing. The acid that runs through my veins rather than blood has chewed through them. Yup, how special I am. Oh, the things I do.
    I am the bravest person I know. Who else could have dared that slippery ramp, like an ice skating rink it was, and fooling all, as it was a sunny day too. Just part of the Deep State conspiracy to take me down. But I fooled them, alright. I made it down and not on my keister either! What's that? Oh, yes, that would surely have led to a concussion. Phew! Saved by my courage and greatness. My wonderful athletic ability. Why I even overcame my bone spurs to become the President of the United States. Such a big boy am I.
    Okay, so, final question. I have lots of work to do. I need to plan for my takeover of the country. Oops. That was supposed to be a secret. Let's keep it between us friends, okay? Do that and I will cut you in for a slice of the dirty money and slimy dealings around here. All at the expense of the public and not to worry about them, for we will have more troops in the streets than Hitler ever had. Yup, once again I will prove to be the best leader ever. And as far as that nothing guy, John whatever, you know, the one who just died, well, no hero to me. Uh - uh. He did not come to my Inauguration, you know that biggest one ever? Right. That one. What? It wasn't the biggest one? GET OUT!!!
     FAKE MEDIA! FAKE NEWS!! Oh, no!! All the feet fell out! Hurry! Get me more, stat! Where would I be without them."
     Gotta'  love the guy. He is open about what he is and what he plans, is he not? It is we who are and have been fooling ourselves lo these past four years. Time to wake up, America! Captain Bone Spurs needs to go. Get out there and VOTE. Mail in, absentee - he and Pence do not know they are one and the same - such great minds - not! Pull the lever, draw the line, fill in the circle, make an x. Whatever, but let us retire this man along with a great mound of chicken feet to feed his feet addiction. Let us finally be safe and sound.