Yet another night of no sleep. Another night of tossing and turning, or really not, as that is more difficult at present. But it does not really matter. All it really means is that every minute wakes up the formerly sleeping brain with more ideas, more thoughts, and less chance of return to sleep. Thus, here I am, on the blog, at 2:15 AM.
Needless to say, the world is in a messy situation. We have a president who follows fringe science so we need to be on the lookout for little demons running around - somewhere - or so we are told to believe. We are told that despite all evidence to the contrary, the virus is retreating, conquered, a moot issue. Would that were the truth, as we are warned by Fauci and Birx - who seemingly have found an independent voice again - that we are in big trouble if we do not get the new cases down to 10,000 a day. Read that again: 10,000 a day - and that is considered progress. No, the virus is still with us. A lie about it does not change the facts.
We have politicians railing at each other. We have gridlock at the helm and apparently no one gives a good goddamn or at least enough of one to actually do something productive rather than insult each other. Pelosi says that "the building is on fire" even as the Republicans argue about amounts of water. Well, let us learn how to get that water there as difficult as it might be with a lunatic for a leader and a lobotomized GOP who simply follow the leader, right down the tubes of dangerous uselessness.
We find that the 'terrible' errors on the Intelligence Surveillance Court applications were but a tempest in a teapot - quelle shock!! And we find ourselves obsessed with the behavior of so called celebrities and yet another shock - they are not always what they seem to be. But truly, is any working place all that different? There are always creeps out there. There are always moments of displeasure and sanction by bosses. There are always awkward moments and we need to distinguish between serious stuff and everyday that is life stuff. Not that it is okay to be mean, but c'mon, folks, people are people and by definition imperfect. That is being human. Egregious behavior by those who impose themselves physically or sexually on others, who emotionally abuse, are one thing, everyday nitpicking, well, that is life. Again.
But what if we could do something about this before it started. What if we could possibly eliminate the need for people to be bullies, to prove their manhood by being cruel to others, by demeaning and even attacking others? What if we could provide a level playing field for all? What if we could eliminate the conditions and experiences that led to a Secret Service car to ram a parked car, across the street, no less, and then terrorize the two Black women inside, allow the two babies to sit there, in the heat of the car, crying, for 45 minutes, and not allowing the moms to deal with them. Looking for two Black men with reports of a stolen car, they were told. Well, these were clearly women, with two babies in the back, parked, so why the ramming and why the behavior, especially when the car was owned by one of the women. What if we can alleviate the need for some to bully others, and the more power they have, the worse it gets.
I believe much of it begins in childhood. We all know that loner, the one content to sit at recess and read a book or stand there and chat with the teachers, or observe the other kids at play, or sit and doodle or play with figures, or simply sit and daydream. What we do is take that child and try to change him. We try to make him fit in. We lead these kids to believe that there is something wrong with them. That they are the ones lacking in some essential trait. Well, perhaps they are just fine. Some people are wired differently. They need the thinking time or they are interested in strange topics, or so we think, or impervious to the appeal of sports. Perhaps they would rather play a game of chess. So why do we try to squash them into that round hole, cutting off their corners, depriving them of what they need for their own self fulfillment, causing them to feel bad about themselves, wondering why it is that they are so wrong.
Can you imagine if we would let them alone. No, not abandon them, but be able to discern those who wish to integrate right now but are not welcome, and those who do not need society as such so much at this moment. They need to sit under the apple tree, perhaps, and feel the hit of that apple, ad feel the germination of another idea. What is wrong with that?
Perhaps, what if, we were to just make sure they are okay and leave it at that. Let them be themselves. Let them be. What if, what if, we did that, allowed them to feel comfortable in their own skins, in their own minds and did not condemn them, make them awkward or feel just so wrong? Perhaps they would not grow up to be a thief, a misfit, a non contributing member of society, a bully, a lunatic determined to impose his twisted will on society. Perhaps, we would not be in the situation we are in at present - endangered by the actions and reactions, the words and deeds of a cruel misfit who was made to feel bad about himself, bullied by his father, deprived of approval and love.
That does not excuse wrongdoers, but what if we could avoid much of that by simply giving them a better childhood, one where they were given approval and appreciation, recognition and acceptance of self, part and parcel of a population, not outsiders who are always being pushed, against their will, to "fit in". Sometimes one must not fit in. Sometimes the different one has the new idea, the new invention, the new style of writing or painting, the next techie invention, the newest theory that will solve a huge world problem.
Perhaps if we learned approval and acceptance at a younger age, we would not have the hatred of the adults, the hatred which pours down to the children, the hatred that leads to violence, to waste of energy and mind power, to a return to bad times.
What if we could escape all that, prevent all that? What if there were someone young and energetic out there who could provide for a different center for kids, one where they could be themselves, read a book, do charcoal sketches, design weird inventions, play chess, invent new games, or develop hacking skills that could prevent other hackers from doing harm? What if we let kids alone in some ways to find their way? What if we were there, but not intrusive, there, accepting of them as they are. What if we provided a more welcoming, warmer world for them, thus not having to fight battles every day, within and without.
What if? And if wishes were horses... I know, a dream that many will shoot down. Many will insist that we need to definitely force those kids to fit in, to round off. But why? If they are doing no harm, who are we to say they are misfits, defying all attempts to 'help' them, angry all the time. What if we let them be, be themselves, just be. What if?
So many what ifs in the world. Could we at least give this a thought and an attempt to understand their viewpoints? As an educator I saw the damage down to some kids and the anger they felt. If we let these kids develop on their paths, we would have more time and energy to help those who truly wish to be enmeshed in a traditional way, yet cannot find the key to open that door, who have alienated the 'regular' kids somehow.
What if..... a sadder tune is difficult to find at times. What if we had not lost all those opportunities to be positive? What if we had not quashed that blooming genius, made him feel strange and awkward? What if we had done things right?
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