JAGGED

      Jagged is a rough, asymmetrical edging or state of being. Jagged is the way many of us have felt over these past five years, caught in a world of once unimaginable situations and uncertainty as to whether we would ever climb out or off that jaggedness or not. Certainly, there is more hope now. However, the edges, the sharpness, the ability to inflict serious and grievous harm remains.

But there is jaggedness present both before and during and  after these years that has nothing to do with the political, economical, international or even health situations. That is the jagged edge that so many of us perch atop, uncertain, frightened, alone in a world of darkness and terror, not knowing where to turn, whom to trust - not even ourselves. 

For sure, the catastrophic political situation did not help, but its jaggedness existed before, during, and will continue after, as long as society has its defects and blindness when it comes to recognition of truths. So many of us like to coast along, keeping the blinders on, refusing to recognize the agony of others - and even our own - hoping that ignoring things will make it go away. Never has, never will, yet on we go. 

The Broadway play, Little Jagged Pill, referring to one or another of the many pills that we take in order to calm ourselves, is a play we all should see. Certainly, when Broadway reopens, go. Think. Be aware of reality. Open eyes, ears and minds as well. It was my privilege to watch a streaming presentation by the Kravis Center of the songs and the cast and WOW! What an impression it made. As one who taught and administered for so many years, I recognized so many of the issues and problems, the angst of the school population, and even the uncertainties that beset adults.

In the persona of the educator, my first reaction was to exclaim, "Man, I could teach and discuss the @*&* out of that, at least for two weeks, if not more." So powerful, so chock full of relevant and urgent messages. So full of the desperation of people, the anomie in which they live. As that educator, almost unconsciously, I drew up a piece of paper, grabbed a pen, and took notes! Can retire, but never get the educator out of one!

The androgynous of society, wherein the divide between genders has grown dimmer, fainter, more confusing than ever, good, bad or indifferent. The deep sack of darkness in which so many of our teens and even preteens find themselves, no light to help find a way out. The growing population of these kids in special programs in hospitals and as outpatients, the success of some and the disasters of others; the jagged edges of life on which so many of the younger LGBTQ live, uncertain of the security of their home, of the lasting love of their parents, of the warmth of an accepting family and circle of friends. And it goes on and on.

Furthermore, this all pervading anomie does not end as people mature, for the adult characters in the play presented their own jagged edges, as did their "good" boy, the child who was breaking under the pressure to perform, to meet growing expectations, and the girl, who was trying to figure out who and what she is, trying to divine the truth of relationships, and all the rest of those who populated this enormously talented cast of presenters. The emotions came through, and one can feel that these people actually felt what they were singing of and about, understood their fellows  and the cast melded with the audience.

How did one know about that melding? Simply by reading the chat lines coming up, etched on the screens of the audience, a constant scroll, never ending, replete with YES!! Or, "I am so there." "This is me!" "I am crying."? " No!" The pain was deep, rife with emotions of betrayal, angst, depression, loneliness, uncertainty, hopelessness - and yet, also, with the help of others, caring others, there was an attempt to learn and teach, to reach the innermost truths and be true to them. To learn how to live in society as oneself, a true self. How to accept that truth. To understand that we may not always, even ever, understand our own total selves nor others, but is that always a bad thing?

The songs were powerful, not necessarily the ones one whistles as one exits the theater, but the ones whose words and emotions reach deep inside, awaken some, dampen some of the loneliness and terror of the so lonely, and we know, deep inside, that the words are right. And hope grows, a bit at a time, as we are told to accept that life can be good, as we live and learn, cry and learn, bleed and learn, love and learn. One is not alone, need not be alone, can indeed be part of a society, contributing and belonging.

It sounds pat, but is not. The lives are jagged, the words cut with their jagged edges, the moves are jagged, as we either see ourselves in them, in the characters, or see friends and loved ones, as we examine our own selves and deeds. Are we to find ourselves wanting? Perhaps, but to learn, that ability, is stressed. We can always learn. We need to learn. That is the only way for a good society, one that will avoid the divides of society such as we have now, where people do not talk, nor even recognize the peoplehood of 'others'.

As for those, that segment of society that rankled so these last five years, as they grew in number, as the negative emotions grew, became rank, poisonous, and dangerous, well, perhaps a shot of this play or two or ten, would help. They might recognize themselves and understand where they came from, are still coming from, and understand how their so wrong leader became what he now is. Maybe. But we can but try. We can but learn.