I remember my grandparents telling me that I should enjoy my sleep when I could. When I asked why, as sleep seemed to be a waste of hours that could otherwise be spent in reading, thinking, improving my skill at jacks and turnover games, the answer was that sleep was a disappearing magic trick. Why magic? Because it could lead to thoughts and answers to problems, about issues, that were not there the day before. I would shrug my shoulders, wondering again at the strange behavior and thought processes of adults. And proceeded to read again that night with my flashlight, under the covers, treasuring those quiet hours of enjoyment. Now? Now I wish I could sleep, would rather not be reading or typing during the wee hours of the morning. But I guess we never appreciate things in their times, do we?
Aside from the apparently shrinking ability to stay asleep, or turn off the thoughts, enough at least to fall back and stay asleep for a few blessed hours, it was the uncertainty of the immediate future that worried me the most. For four years I figured that the ouster of Trump and his crew would lead to better sleep. I could stop those thoughts of horror at what we had become as a nation, as a people. We could now return to our basic foundations, work at becoming a united nation once again. Return to a saner program of environmental and climate approaches, stress the need for compassion and humanity, for economic sanity, and turn off that chute of hatred that kept spewing its sewage into our national ocean. We could even be so much better at handling new problems like the pandemic, working again with science and scientists of the highest caliber, speaking truths, not spitting lies ever and always. Simply put, it was to have hope once again.
Those sleepless, worried nights, increasing in the level of anxiety with every lie, with every outrageous act of indecency, with every increase of accepted hatred and bigotry, with the continued deterioration of the economic situation of the nation, appeared to at least be coming to an end even as they ramped up during the campaign. Could it be that Americans would do the wrong thing again and keep that travesty of a man in office?! No!!! Cannot be. Must not be. But there it was, in the middle of the night. Keeping my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, planning to get rid of that popcorn stuff, - and I did - with thoughts of worry and concern, with fright, chasing each other round and round. In the middle of the night.
Ahh, I thought to myself, after the election. He could scream and shout, kick his heels and wave his arms, but he lost. Sanity prevailed as the people spoke. Sleep. Again. I hoped. But it was not to be. That man, that imitation of a human, proceeded to threaten to bring down the pillars of our country, like a destructive Samson of America, rather than dredging up some shred of pride and dignity, and making his exit like a man, a grown up man in a grown up body with a grown up mind. Never to be, was it?
So the sleepless nights became worse, more intense, and I literally begged my mind to let me sleep. I prayed for something to happen, anything, that would turn off that man and his dangerous rantings, his whipping up of the mob, as his 'base' became more toxic, more determined to forgo any and all rules in the madness of denying the truth - he lost, Biden was #46 and that was that. But no it was not.
More and more outrageous actions and lawsuits - even yesterday. More threats, even unto the suggested use of military law and rule. More insane tweets and even madder conversations with his enablers on Fox. Even some of them began to turn away from him - too little, too late. Yet those of the GOP in government all lost their minds, their spines, their sense, as they were sniveling cowards, afraid of this madman, refusing to acknowledge, openly, honestly, that the truth was the truth, that democracy would defeat the attempts to overthrow it, that they would regrow spines and recognize treason where it was, and stop enabling its destruction. But that was not to be either.
Finally, after all the reassurance of all the talking heads that such was not to be and that was not going to happen, or the other plan would not work, even as all these reassurances fell behind in the dust, as his insanity, his dangerous insanity and mad pursuit of a win in an election he lost went beyond anything anyone anticipated, even then, we were told not to worry. Sure, it was grating on the nerves, but no, would never happen - even as it did. Time and again the never to be became reality and even as he lost, as his mad associates lost with him, they refused to accept the truth, to accept reality.
Oh, yes, they could make a mess on Jan. 6, but it would be over too, and rule would prevail. But would it? An insane conversation complete with an imitation Hitler, ranting, raving, chanting, threatening, proposing maneuvers that would kill this country, took place, with the advisers even more insane than their master. And sleep became a dream I chased with no chance of catching it, as long as this madman and his enablers, his resident cowards, his treasonous backers like Graham, McConnell, Jonson, Paul and the House creeps that went along with this. Everything I had worried over, all that I had written of, warned of, all had happened, even as sleep became ever more a wisp of a dim memory. What would be? What would the world of America be for my family, for my kids? What would be did not appear to be pretty. It certainly was not reassuring.
Now, when the man was at the end of the road, seemingly devoid of any more room in which to practice his dangerous insanity, he did it again and sleep became an impossibility. Military takeover? Military overseeing supposed elections after seizing the machines? Scorched earth policy discussed when speaking of fellow Americans?! Allowing a dangerous person, Sidney Powell, to advise in a serious manner? Using troops to invoke that martial law, making a mockery of an old piece of legislation, twisting and turning it to enable his own twisted mind and ambitions? Even some of his chief enablers had it - enough. But that does not stop the mess and now I am desperate for sleep.
How to stop worrying. How to deal with dangerous idiots who tell us that we have to "run the gauntlet'? What the hell is happening here, to us, to America? Do we not hear the voices and echoes of all those who died to make America possible? Do we not see the gaps in the population of people who died - were murdered - by the incompetence and lies of the Trump administration? Where in the name of all that's holy - and not - are we?
Below I have copied a piece of an article and see if you can sleep after reading this. I need say no more as tonight, you, too will be staring up at the ceiling, along with me.
"...even the mention of martial law may fan the flames of many supporters clinging to the belief the election result was fraudulent. That could incite violence to bring the idea into fruition.... "In the conspiratorial conservative base of supporting Trump, there are calls for using the Insurrection Act to declare martial law,"... "When they hear that the president is actually considering this, there are violent extremist groups that look at this as a dog whistle, an excuse to go out and create ... violence,.....
It's a concept she calls "acceleration," in which violent extremist groups, especially White supremacists, try to overthrow the United States government. These groups believe that will take place through a civil war and look to "accelerate the chaos, accelerate the coming of the civil war..."So when they hear that the president is open to this idea of martial law, we may see certain groups mobilizing to commit acts that, in their minds, a justification for the use of the Insurrection Act,"
Join me in those sleepless hours. Be ever alert. Be ever watchful. America needs us; we need us. Please.
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