WAITING FOR NORMAN

 Who is Norman? Why are we waiting for him? Or are we? For those of you of a certain age - like mine - you will remember the song in which a young lady waits for a call from Norman, turning down all else, all certainty, simply waiting for Norman to call. It kind of was the template for dating protocol then. Heaven forbid that a girl calls a boy! Nope, had to wait for her "Norman". Anything else was declasse, too bold, classless.

Basically, that was the template for most other dealings, particularly when one party was of more need or was of less power than the other. You waited. You waited for your date to call. You waited for the repairman to call. You waited for the doctor to call. You waited for anyone to call. You simply waited - unless you were the one for whom others waited. Then one carefully calculated the best time to make that call. Quite complicated, but such was the clime of the times.

Today is different. Today a girl can pick up the phone or approach first. Emails, all forms of social media are available. Today there is very little waiting for anyone to call. It is almost a demand for instant attention, instant sharing of knowledge, or where to find that sought after knowledge. Today, we do not wait. Today, if one is in need, or self or a loved one, there is much self-motivation.

 No one waits for Norman to call. Nope, one goes after one's own Norman, known or unknown, until the connection is made. We call the doctor, or we call those who can call for us, have knowledge and/or connections with the Norman we need. We demand an answer -nicely, but the demand is seen in the hopeful look, in the prayer unsaid but so loud. "Help me. Help my ----- and fill in the blank. Perhaps we are lucky enough, blessed enough to have our own Normans who call voluntarily -the best situation. Today we are proactive rather than reactive. For the one in need, there is no more awaiting Norman.

We are looking for our own Normans. The more the better. The sooner the better. More heads crammed with knowledge of a rare cancer. Perhaps all the pieces put together will amount to a clearer picture and a more open road to healing ahead of us. So we have called Norman. Better yet, others have called us, introducing their own hopefully helpful Norman, the one(s) with the answer(s).

All day long the texts fly back and forth. What have you heard?  Anything new? How does he feel? Is there anything we can do? How can we help? What shall we do? Here are our Normans - we will call them for you. Close friends, more distant friends, strangers and of course frantic family members - all focused on finding that Norman - him and his siblings and cousins and namesakes.

In moments of quiet, I reflect on what I have heard in casual conversations among friends. This one is upset, that one also. They blame each other. There are heated exchanges, threats, and for what? Why? Because we are so deep into ensuring others know how 'important' we are, that we forget the other side, the corollary - they are important too. Why do we waste so much time on sheer nonsense, nothing that should carry any weight at all in our lives. It should not take a disaster, that one life changing nanosecond, for us to realize and prioritize. 

We need to recognize the truly valuable, what is actually life to us. Look at your lives in a quiet moment. Is it really that new carpet or appliance which will make your day, your life, until another one comes along? Or is it the people, the ones for whom you breathe, for whom you would give your life to keep theirs safe and good? The truly important and vital parts of life. 

Take a look at your bucket list. Is it really that cruise to Alaska or is it the health and wellbeing of your family and friends? Is it the diamond necklace for which you would sell your soul, or for those living, breathing jewels of your life?

No more waiting for Norman. Call Norman. Call the Norman who lives within you. Check with all the Normans of your life. Reassess, reevaluate and understand the place Norman has within your life and the lives of all you hold dear.

We are calling all the Normans we know and a few we do not. Others are calling more Normans for us, volunteering their Norman to aid in the battle for Yitzy, my sweet grandson. Who lights up the lives of so many. Who deserves better. 

May all the prayers that so many are sending upwards reach the ears and heart of Hashem. May He answer us with the answer we so desperately pray for. May He provide us with the perfect Norman we need.