The words of the title sum up the gist of the warm words we received yesterday. We, I, especially, were touched to my soul as so many former students, my educational kids, as I used to call them, sent words of comfort and prayer. Many others remarked that they had followed the year's terrible journey as we entered deeper and deeper into a world of despair and darkness, even as we hoped, so hoped, so prayed, so demanded, so shouted for a cure, a reprieve for Yitzy and a further sharing of his goodness with this needy world we occupy.
There is no smoothing over or denying that words alone cannot comfort, and at times there are no words possible at all. Most words meant and said in good will actually carry naught that the mourning, the bereaved can internalize. the wounds are too fresh and deep at this point. However, that they were sent, that so many care and take the time to write. As days and weeks and months pass, these same seemingly 'useless' words are so blatantly not useless. They are anchors to others, to life, a reminder that we Jews and those who truly care for us, will take the time to show that care, that love and empathy, that which the world so desperately needs in huge quantities.
My own family asked me how I could write today when I am so grief stricken, so lost in a world bereft of Yitzy, his grin, his hugs, his sheer brilliance and talent, his faith and his unbelievable love of Nature, a gift from G-d in his thinking. So innocent, so pure, so beloved by kids and adults. It was amazing and heartbreaking to watch his classmates struggling to lift shovels and try to fill in his kever (burial place). That grief will be with me forever, at least as long as I live.
However, I knew that I cannot reman stuck in this deep black hole, must pull myself out for I need to be there for others. How? I turned to words, the same words I have yet to fully take in, absorb the comfort they are meant to provide, looking deep within my soul, deep within myself to help myself find those necessary words. Words meant to comfort myself as well as transmit my feelings and thoughts to others. Word have served me well through the years of my life so once again, I turn to them.
The isolation one feels upon a loss of a loved one, particularly one which should never have been, way out of order, is to feel alone in the midst of a crowd, even with other mourners. Each loss is felt differently within each mourner, fittingly so, for each is bereft on a different level with differing concerns. It is a grief peculiar unto oneself, alone, in the midst of grieving others. It must be borne bravely, even if angrily and confused.
It is a hard time to be a Jew. To quote,"Jewish families are feeling isolated and scared." More tomorrow. My words have run out other than thank all of you for your kindness.
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