What is there? I am not really sure, though I am indeed sure that I am living in the time when certainty, the feeling of being 'sure' is nonexistent. Furthermore, anyone who feels, who insists, that certainty and security are definitely present in today's world, is immersed in self-delusion. The world is roiling and boiling, skews this way and that, within the span of minutes and hours. f Positive values, virtues, once cherished are demeaned and sidelined. People have forgotten truths. People have jumped whole hog. into life threatening situations, trying to balance themselves on a precipice crumbling beneath their feet, the jagged rocks below patiently waiting.
It is difficult indeed these days to define self and place in society. Who is one now as compared to the one who was, and the possibilities of who one will be, could be, or should be? Who will be the others? Who will we all be? These questions without answers have increasingly plagued me, the uncertainty growing clearer, larger, day by day. What and where is my place? Where do I belong? Will others acquiesce to the answer? There is no longer a nice, neat category into which I can insert myself with some kind of a feeling of safety and security around me and mine. Unfortunately, for quite some time the answer(s) is no. Sadly, terrifyingly so.
Once I could say I am an American, stand tall, with pride and certainty. Once I could say I am Jewish, and it generally was not of truly great import or effect. There was no need to delineate exact origins in every category. For the most part, it did not matter. Yes, there were times when prejudice in America was right there, peeking its ugly head out at times. However, for the most part, one was able to function on a daily, permanent basis without need for a string of adjectives. Still, that niggling irritant remained, always there, history reminding us of uncertainty of acceptance and definition. Are we secure, firm, in our acceptance?
So, here we are, but exactly where is that here? Is there in fact a here anymore? I don't think so. I truly do not. The WSJ has a daily cartoon entitled 'Salt,,, and Pepper', with succinct commentary on life today. A recent caption was " Never before have so many known so little about so much". True, and bitterly ironic in a world where we know so much yet in actuality apparently know very little with any strong degree of certainty. In fact, despite scientific advances, our social intelligence has deteriorated, and we have regressed at faster and faster pace. A sad state of affairs caught cleverly by a 'Salt,,, and Pepper' cartoon. "I like a buttery chardonnay with hints of happier times romance and optimism.”
Once upon a time. When we were happier? Open to thinking, to compromise. Capable of discussing differences rather than shouting. Where we knew free speech crossed the red boundary line and became the shouted fire. Can we remember that? I believe those memories are fading quickly. They are under pressure to disappear. We are under pressure to totally reevaluate who we are, where we stand, what we think. Our hopes, our dreams, are questioned, even denied, devalued. What will be the future, in the future, is up for grabs, and the hands reaching for them are too often grubby with contamination.
Seniors worry not so much for themselves, but rather for the descendants, the next generations. What will be for them? Will there be anything for them? How do we ensure their safety? How can we go when we leave them in a society in a severe state of fluctuation often with strong overlayers of negativity and worse. We want for them prosperity, health, goodness, happiness and peace, a true, just peace, not an imposed one based upon oppression and suppression. That peace is worthless, for it allows no peace within one's soul, mind, or heart.
Will advances of science prove fatal or malignant to the mores of society, and the people who make up society? What will be the fate and state of humanity? Will they be able to distinguish good research and findings from the ones which bode negativity and conflict rather than advancements for humanity? Research misunderstood and misused poses great danger to the future of humankind.
We are going too far too fast. We find ourselves in a mess of primitive emotions, of old hatreds revived and intensified. Invective oratory leads to violence of physicality, always trending up to more, to worse. What do we do to alleviate the tension and prognosis? Can we indeed do anything of consequence or is the path too far gone, as we move along it at too fast a pace?
I know in my bones. that there are many, many around who are feeling just like me. Where do I belong? Where can I belong? Can I trust the safety and security of America? Will it keep me safe? Will it prevent others from harming me and mine? Will it allow for a better life for all? The answer is very uncertain, even for me. I have no idea. Am I an American, born here from parents born here from grandparents who came here at a very young age, even from a great grandparent who came here in the 1880s. Is that not enough? My children. My grandchildren. My great grandchildren. They are more American than I am as they have more generations of American born and bred behind them. And what is in front of them? Will they remain American, or will they be defined as foreigners, invaders? I don't know. I am a Jew and so are they. Why does that now carry an aura of danger around it, attacked on all sides - up, down, right, left. With hate, with bigotry, with threats.
The world today equates. criticism with hate. It is going way overboard into the realm of illegitimate criticism. It wraps its targets within soggy hate filled stinking of rage blankets which restrict freedom of movement and grow ever tighter to the point of cutting off all breath. Why do we condone this behavior? Why do we not remember that hate spreads? That misbehavior grows into criminality into violence. Why did we refuse to remember that? Why? Perhaps I am too old to understand. I hope not.
Moving forward is possible only if we step forward with precision, forethought, very, very carefully and always with grace and graciousness. We must think long and hard before we accept the words of proposed leaders and new plans, for too often, human beings have huge flaws within them. We must remember our heritage. - that of the tradition, the heritage of Judaism. and the dream of America. Where truly those "Yearning to be free" are welcomed without the screams and venom of today.
We must find new points. and places to anchor our ship of state safely. and firmly, a place which will allow for exploration and provide a safe haven to return to. Are we motivated enough to do that difficult ongoing task, or have we lost that incentive, that energy which came with being 'American'------------------------------------------
Yitzy, I am beyond words at this point. Your pictures are here in every room of the home and the heart. In every inch of our soul. We smile at your pictures, the videos, and we feel the sharpness of your loss. You were a bright light of hope for the future and now that light is dimmed, though not gone. It lives on within those who remember, those who cherish, those who admired you. Those who love you and still love you.
Always and forever. Always and forever.
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