Go with G-d. Many, if not most languages have a saying of similar wording and intent. We say it when we wish one well, particularly when the voyage or undertaking is of great importance. It is of great significance at times of uncertainty and imminent danger. It is a sentiment much thought, wished, heard and voiced at times of great confusion and helplessness, of hopelessness when we see no way out, no ending to the miserable state of the current existence.
It is when the most powerful thought we have in mind is in tune with the verse from the Book of Lamentations or Eicha, in Hebrew, “Behold and see if there is any pain like my pain." We are each so wrapped up in our own pain, drowning in our own sorrows, that we cannot see or will not see the pain of others and know that when pain is shared it becomes more amenable to bearing up under its stress. The pain, the doubt, the uncertainty, the inability to trust in fellow man, leads us to seek and hopefully find a more stable source of hope. That stable source is the Creator who has no beginning and no end but is always. As we say in Hebrew, Haya, Hoveh, V'yiheyeh. He was. He is. He will always be. It is a certainty which will give us strength and assurance that there will be an end to the torment and the misery even though we might not yet see any light at the end of the tunnel. Only darkness ahead.
Yesterday a video was released by the beastly Hamas, which purported to show a hostage, much thinner and dull eyed, in a propaganda video meant only to hurt the hostage's parents, and the nation of Israel within and without the land of Israel. However, we know the use of propaganda and rejoice in viewing the hostage while discounting the rest. We, the people of Israel, mourn with the parents of Hersh. We mourn with all the parents, the husbands, the wives, the children and the families and the friends of those still missing.
Many households for two nights have placed an empty seat, a place setting, which remained clean and unused, for the Seder was incomplete, members of our family missing. We are one family and strong in our unity, unbroken by the lies of Hamas, the violence at the universities led by paid activists and demonstrators, as once again echoes of violence resound, most shockingly, in our time. We find ourselves in a long tunnel, steeped in a deep darkness, limiting of breath of life, no light visible, no end in sight. But there is an end, there always is and we emerge stronger than ever. We must forge on, till that end is reached.
How, though do we generate that inner strength in the worst of situations? How does one keep alive even the smallest kernel of hope as one sits in darkness unrelieved, starved of food, water, of sun, of human touch other than one of brutality? How? How? We then add to that burden the knowledge that the murderous intent of so many, too many, is revived, refreshed, repackaged, even as the creases and the staleness of the old wrappings remain strong. Even overpowering.
This ugliness has been accompanied with punishing blows, particularly for those of us raised in the western world, the modern world, presumed to have shed the ugliness of that JewHatred, or toned it down to a subtler version. Even if so, it is no longer. It is no longer hidden. It is no longer gentle. No, now it is one blow after another. For me the phrase used within the announcement of a delayed closing date to ask for transfer to a different university which would provide "refuge for Jewish students" well, that struck hard.
Again? Are we going to live in a time where being a Jew is a hardship unbearable? Are we going to be told that simply walking by, being visibly a Jew, is provocation and one that the world justifies? Are we to be stripped of our careers, rights, our children to live in a world of no hope, no dreams? Are we once again to be forced to live within delineated lines ghettos resurrected? Bloodied scapegoats of a vicious world with insatiable appetite for Jewish blood.
Why and wherefore does that sentence, that sentiment, have any right of existence? Why are we hearing it again? Why have so many jumped upon that train of blood and hate? Is it never to end? As the old train, battered, leaves the station, must we always be alert to the headlights signaling the arrival of the new train carrying hate new, yet so ancient and recognized deep within our genes? Why more bloodshed only a generation or two removed from the violence of the Holocaust even as the last of the survivors die, with a trembling memory, visceral, as the new train pulls in.
I have no answers and frankly often, too often of late, I can find no germ of hope of emerging unscathed from this new storm of violence. This new storm, so powerfully strengthened by modern techniques and capabilities, is even more shocking as it was reborn via the educated and sent down to the uneducated, and forces were joined to revitalize and reterrorize, an evil synergy of virulent hate. Have we not learned our lesson? Have we not yet learned to discern the difference between truth and lies? Have we not yet shed the animalistic tendencies and temptations within the human being? If not, why not? I can only sadly shake my head. However, along with that shake of my head comes the defiance. No, I am not a fool. I know that. there is not very much that a lady of almost 76 years can do to fight the behemoth of this toxicity swiftly enveloping us. However, I can raise my voice. However, I can write my blog. However, I can wear my symbols of Judaism, of my pride in being a Jew. However, I too can wear symbols of defiance. I too can wear T shirts. I too can shout and chant. I too can assume an ugly face.
But why must we do this? Where is a positive bottom line at the end of this all? Why are wiser heads of the world not pounding through to the stone heads of the haters that besides being so egregiously wrong, there is no end gain here. Nothing positive. Nothing boding good for any. Harm is wreaked to all.
No answer other than to turn, to return, to the lessons of history and find that difficult as it is to believe, similar episodes of insanity have been beaten back before, albeit the cost unacceptably high. To KNOW, that the Creator, a tad absent minded of late, will remember, do His job, and we will emerge the stronger for it. Must it be this way? The answer, I believe, will be found on the other side. Till then, patience, even in a huge ugly field of doubt. For encouragement I borrow the wise words of the Ramban, a scholar of old, presented by a scholar of modern times, Rabbi, Rav Aaron L. Lopiansky.
“We are like the dead thinking that our bones are dried out. We will then be brought up from all the nations as the offering to Hashem (G-d). The nations will be aggrieved when they recognize the honor bestowed upon us. We will see the vengeance of Hashem. He will pull us up and we will live before Him.”
I know this is true, was the one awed and strengthened by an event this holiday. Read on and see what it was.
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Yitzy, thank you. As we stood in casual conversation, I happened to look down and there I saw a pattern of footsteps of small feet, originating by the door and walking closer to us. These steps were profoundly beautiful, prisms of color. As we gazed at them, instinctively, I remarked, "Yitzy. He is here." The very next day, disappointment, as no footsteps were evident. Then they were. Only this time there were longer ones accompanying the smaller ones, even more beautiful. Interpretation? I leave to you. I do know mine.
Yitzy, loved your visit. Hope you found the afikomen.
Always and forever. Always and forever.
Va avec Dieu. All of us.
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