WHAT TO WRITE?

  Most mornings I have a pretty good idea as to what should be the goal or aim of the new posting. Generally, it derives from the day before events or thoughts or even what I pick up in the time before I write. Other times it simply is there, in my head, awaiting a good time to expand upon, and then I just roll with it. What amazes me at times is how often I intend to write about topic x and end up way off on a tangent which emerges as my writing progresses.

 However, coming as a shock to me and quite a number of other people I appear to be having a hopefully minor spat of a variety of writer's block.  Maybe that is not the correct term for I can write, but the question is, what is the topic to be? What is uppermost in my mind? And utmost in importance, most demanding of attention. Unfortunately, the answer is that there are so many topics which demand addressing. So many topics of concern but to paraphrase, "these are the times that try my soul”. There is so much wrong in this world, so much so that even when one tries one's darndest to remain optimistic, the light rather than the dark, the clear outlines rather than shadows, are just nigh on to impossible to visualize in the current reality. So overwhelming is the negative. So bleak is the outlook. So distant is the time and place wherein one can realistically believe, think, hope that redemption is at hand. The human race will improve rather than deconstruct. And life will go on as hopefully G-d meant it to be. Or did He?

The question arises here as to what exactly was in G-d's mind when He created humanity. Humankind. Were they meant to be a race of creatures who would always seek the positive, to advance in truly progressive manner not the subversion which that word has taken on at present? Were they to be a creature more than an animal walking on two legs, a creation that could walk ever higher? Leading straight to the Lord and His idea of the perfect representation of His best goals in mind at that time of creation?

But exactly how was that new creature of higher level to know all this? Was it to be etched in his mind and his soul? How deep would the etching be? How intensively would it be stressed and practiced? Would it be the same in each and every representation of humanity? Could the approach be the same in and to all or would it demand individualization? I believe that until we actually bumble our way to the answer's humanity will never be able to penetrate through to the higher levels, the ultimate goals. What would be the methods by which we would be motivated to struggle hard to make our way past blockades and pain and be able to find the good, the light, within the dark? 

I am not sure about that because is there a benefit if someone has to struggle, to be hurt, to have loved ones be killed or die before that time? Is this truly what is needed in order to push someone to a higher level? Is that how one is supposed to exist in order to prove one's recognition of the ultimate goals and motivations of our creation? I don't know. I can't really assimilate that into my understanding, for as a parent of three children, as a grandparent, as a great grandparent, I cannot see the point in inflicting harm, laying trouble or danger upon any of them in order to teach a lesson. Whatever that means.

Well, I guess I have a topic upon which I have touched before, but it still rings bells in my mind and pulls the rope for moments of doubt and questioning. But is not that what we are supposed to do as people, as humans fraught with inner innate flaws, ever so prone to erroneous steps? Is that not how we prove our worthiness? Is our understanding the point of our creation or at least our attempts to reach that understanding? Actually, honestly, to me, the idea of 100 percent achievement of that goal is nigh unto to impossible. I believe that perhaps a handful of truly blessed saintly people can fully assimilate that into their core and accept and understand the challenge and carry through. Most of us though, simply cannot get there, even with or despite intense heartfelt labor in that direction. Perhaps a crisis of such level and intensity, would perforce push us willingly or unwillingly onto that level - is not a welcome thought.

So how do we prove our worthiness to the Lord G-d Above, our Master, our King our Father, our Creator? I guess we need to simply try to be the best we can, and then some. To take the higher path, rather than the low. To account for benefits in the most unselfish manner and hence achieve and attain higher levels, ever nearer to the ideal. But even then “we are only human" and can only do the best we can but actually, how do we know what the best we can actually is? For that I have no answer. I don't even have a clue as to what steps to take, what keys to find to open the door, even a window for entry.

 Is it a hopeless task with which we have been unfairly burdened? No matter how hard we strive. No matter how intense our efforts. Again, no clue. There are times I feel optimistic. There are good signs, good vibes, emanating from at least a decent portion of humanity. But there are times, oh, so many, too many times where all we see is evidence of the rot within, of the greed and selfishness, of the lack of self-control. These negatives are too often possessive of a human being, and in turn dispossess them of all or most of that which is right. Along with all incentive to veer to the right and light.

Why is it that for millennia we have not progressed any further than the present? Why is it that we still have to expend countless dollars, time and power of mind to the creation of new, more deadly weapons? Why have we not yet learned as the Borg would say to the members of the Enterprise, "resistance is futile" and understand that the only true way to a better life for all is righteous, justified, justifiable, compromise. We all give a little and take a little. That would engender a Golden Age for mankind, as near as we can get. A true Golden Age rather than the limited Renaissances of Earth where there were vast gaps in the gold plating. Not so much for the Jews, was it? Not so much for the peasants, was it? Not with so much for those who were and are independent with deeper thoughts upsetting the status quo.

Instead of where we should be, we remain on the rather hideous level of discrimination, of xenophobia, of self-loathing, of careless thought and even more careless actions. We waste time on falsehood and fakery rather than on eternal truths and benefits for all. I guess that would be a utopia, which has so far proven to be impossible to achieve, at least on this plane of existence. But “wouldn't it be loverly” if we could and would strive to attain those goals, to get closer to it than we have come before. But leave out the hurt, the harm, the hate, the hostility mistakenly applied in the quest for higher levels.

At this moment in time, I am not optimistic about such achievements. Not when there are nations on this planet who think the only way to progress is to steal from others, to be aggressive in application of dangerous goals and motivations, the constant upgrade in the installation of hate and fear amongst those we oppose for whatever reason we think of. Simply create a victimhood for one group and for sure there will be enthusiastic believers and practitioners. 

When people starve while others engage in gluttony. When people decide that the other group does not deserve to live, for else can there be an elite group? How could one feel superior? When one group engages in barbaric manner and wreaks havoc and pain upon others. When we encourage excess while there is huge lacking in this world. When we discourage the idealistic and encourage and praise monetary accumulation achieved at    great cost to others and to oneself, as our souls and hearts harden. Is this truly the reality we wish to strengthen, even intensify, and make permanent? If so, we are doing a great job. Much to our shame.

Can we, you and I, improve ourselves? Can we show decisively to the Lord Above that we are deserving of His love as a Father more than we deserve his castigations as Master and Ruler? Can we highlight our progress, downplay our regression, and actually put an end to it? These are questions we all need to be asking ourselves. There are times needful of long moments of critical contemplation, understanding and implementation. 

We must choose which side to champion? That of the Dark Angels who rebelled against the Lord or those of the Good Angels, the ones who appeal to the best within us. Even Jacob wrestled with the Angels. Can we hope to do no more or no less? Can we truly wrestle and choose between the two angels within? At this point in time, it is more of an individual's choice, rather than a choice en-masse or of large groups. Even those who might have begun with altruistic motivations in mind too often tend to go astray and take the wrong fork in the road and find it impossible to retrace steps and redo that which never should have been done in the first place.

I believe at this point only with the cooperation of the ones who have gone before us, now sitting there, relaxing on the sofas of Heaven, chatting away, fretting as they look down upon their descendants, wondering how they can contribute to their improvement, to clear their foggy thinking and thoughts, only then can we have a hope of positive movement. Our grandparents, our great-grandparents, down the line, surely, they have advice to give. Those who went before their time, as my grandson, Yitzy, taken, too pure for this world, surely, he and those like him can beseech the Lord, who deemed it necessary for them to return to Him, to do better for those who remain on Earth.

I believe it is only with the conjunction of the two, the understanding what good can do, that we can find that which will impel us into a truly important comprehension of when and where and how and why we were and are led astray. When the willpower from Above and Below, here on Earth, conjoin, perhaps we can take strides in the right direction. Perhaps some will say too little, too late but we have to start somewhere. 

Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

 All contained kernels of hope, bright and optimistic, just as they also contained black, dark and rotted kernels boding no good for any of us, individually or together. We must amass the former and lose the latter. Then we will be able to look back on yesterday, live today, and plan for a beneficial positive, enlightened lit up golden tomorrow.

A gal can dream, can she not?!