Amongst the most minor problems caused by this war is my rather funny lack of knowledge in certainty as to where I am - which state, which city, which country. What is the date and am I missing appointments? As a matter of fact, where are the locations of these appointments? Worse, my clothes are now in various widely separated locations, and I have no clue as to what is where, and what is contained within the suitcases at the various locations - wherever they are. In fact, I do not even know how many pieces of luggage are out there, waiting for pickup to final destination. Or when that will take place.
I hope soon. The sooner the better for that will indicate a changed status in the world. Hopefully one of peace, at least one capable of lasting more than a few weeks and without the incidents of terrorism round the world using as false reasoning the outbreak of hostilities in the Middle East as permission for excused and "understood" crimes against humanity. Hence, they receive a pass from the nations of the world immersed in the same hatred roiling within the attacker. They spend more airtime and print time on the beast rather than on the attacked, the targeted. Upside down world indeed. With nary a correction of path in sight.
It is worth noting that the wars that are constantly raging around this world are generally not accompanied by terrorist activities that take place around the world. Most of the violence is confined to the area in question. Whether it is a dispute between Thailand and Cambodia, about a 9th century temple. Or Ethiopia and Eritrea. Or Somalia and the numerous countries with which it finds itself in conflict. Apparently, the only area of unease, which is accompanied by around the world terrorism is a conflict in the Middle East. Between Israel and any of the multitudinous nations preferring to see it gone. Wiped out of the memory bank of humanity. Most frustrating is the fact that when these terrorist attack activities take place, they are often excused, 'justified' due to something Israel did or did not do. It matters not. Apparently, violence against Jews round the world is okay, calling forth weak condemnation, if indeed any at all. In many cases it is either ignored or questioned as to being a 'hate crime'! It is a losing battle from the get-go to combat this contagious, venomous ever ongoing, unjustified condoned JewHatred.
While we are on the topic of hate and hate motivated actions, those powered by irrational fears exaggerated beyond any and all connection to reality and are manned by those with no sense of differentiation between right and wrong. with evil conniving minds and dark souls. They shout over all the other voices of society and body politic and convince others to follow their lead, moves which are always of negative manner for individuals and nations as a whole. Inevitably it revolves around calls for violence, shouts of hate and the resultant violence as words are put into action.
Despite the rather chaotic situation in nations of the world and within individuals, or perhaps because of it, certain thoughts and evaluations are coming more to the fore. People are being pushed to the wall, having to make difficult decisions. Hopefully, the decisions made will come down on the proper side of the line. Choosing morality over immorality. Of beliefs and dreams that unite rather than separate and divide with disastrous results.
Sheer simple, plain decency rather than the nastiness seemingly growing at rapid pace with no braking in sight. Will mankind see its way through yet another tense and most dangerous situation or will they lose this time around and condemn all to a fate such as that we should not ever have to contemplate. But what else is one to think when a newspaper publishes an article detailing all that should be done, put in place, before a war situation, including supplies and precautions.
Personally, I feel as if I am being ripped and pulled and pushed in conflicting directions. I cannot believe that I am the only one to feel this concern, this confusion, this inner conflict. This ever-present worry and anxiety as to the future awaiting all of us. Not so much for me. I am way down on the down slope of life, but for the little ones. For the young. What world are we bequeathing to them? What is the legacy we are to leave behind?
Has anyone out there in positions of leadership thought these matters all the way through? Followed the threads to their unavoidable conclusions should we G-d forbid remain on this most dangerous path? There must be millions who must also have similar conflicting thoughts and ideas and principles running through their heads, challenging all.
Much of the angst in my life arises from two points. One is the Land, the State of Israel. my native ancestral homeland. The other is America. Also, my native-born homeland. By birth, by upbringing, by pride, as a child I never saw any dichotomy, any space between the two. Growing older I began to see space between but never to the point of worry or to be greatly concerned with whatever was the current state of affairs in both countries.
Now I do. With great concern and fear. A great deal of air between. Though I believe sincerely and deeply in the eventual coming of the Messiah and a better world to follow, I am definitely motivated to keep the present edition of the world intact, going in the right direction, still capable of and willing to right the wrongs, and keep the world on an even keel supportive of a good and fair life for all. We used to think this was the right thing to do and though highly difficult at times to see our way through, we took it upon us as a responsibility and a duty. One that we owed to humanity and to G-d.
This was true of and for both nations. Until things changed. And shifted. And flew in the wrong direction. We lost our way and are having a great deal of trouble as we seek the way back, to an even keel. It is as if all winds, be we on the seas or in the air or treading the ground, seemed to have turned on us and presented no more tail winds, only rough headwinds beating us back at every turn we take.
There is much more to write on this topic. Much more to say. Much more to think about. But to continue today is not an optimum thing to do, at least not for me. I will continue this tomorrow. In the meanwhile, I hope to clarify my thoughts with more precision and definition. Not easy to do in these matters as it harps back to the yesterdays we lived, through the tumultuous todays we are living, and into the tomorrows left so up in the air.
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