OOOHHHH, WHAT WE SAW !!!!

     So what was that we saw? We all participated in "I Spy With My Little Eye" all week long and the weekend followed right along. It was brutalizing to see the video of a supposed lynching class of justice being meted out. It is frightening to realize that if law enforcement representatives are allowed to do this to one, they can and will stretch it to others. Kangaroo courts led by the police, at the moment, will be the play of the day, the I Spy winning sight. The public will follow, emboldened by the official responses.
     I do not understand why it is so difficult for people to understand, to follow the thread of hatred and its consequences from start to not a finish but rather to an expansion. Why do people feel exempt, that they will be the bystanders, perhaps even tsk tsking, but the object of that immediate and applied 'justice' - never, they think. That is until they are right there in the next video. Worse, seeing all this violence will inure us to it, roll off our backs with a shrug, if that, just as we have grown so terribly indifferent to the gaffes, lies and outrageous behavior of Trump, and that is not only on a daily basis, but almost on an hourly basis.
     However, there is always a second time around when something catches the eye of the beholder. Something calls to the onlooker, forces that same onlooker to reevaluate, to weigh and measure, be forced, compelled, by the proof to make the right decision. This is not the romantic second time around but rather the harsh dose of reality, actually like the zillionth time around. This, what we see, is not funny, nor entertaining, and has great and important messages and warnings behind it.
    However, as we view these videos with half an eye closed, as if to halve the horror, as we jerk with shock, there are some redeeming videos. No, not the ones of violence, of hate. Those we should not be seeing for the first time, let alone a second time around. Nope, what gave me great glee, that oh so sweet feeling of what goes around comes around, well, that was the video of Trump inching his way down a ramp. 
     It was a beautiful day for a commencement. It was sunny, dry, not too hot or cold or windy or threatening or whatever weather related negative you dig up. Nope, it was perfect. Perhaps it wasn't, one might think, as for some reason Trump had to bend his head forward to reach the mouth of a bottle of water whose location he could not remember, and then hold that bottle to his mouth in an awkward position, with both hands. Just like a little child lacking strength or surety of a firm one hand hold. Nor was this a one time performance, for we have seen it more than once, more than twice.
     Nor did the rest of his body prove loyal to him. The hesitation seen upon approaching the ramp. The soldier beside him, to stand as insurance to prevent a fall on that dry ramp on a clear day...... The bent body, the head focused in the downward direction, the lack of movement of his arms, the steps of a baby, first one and then bring the other to meet, and the final stumbling, the loss of balance at the end, of control, which led to the stumbling stutter steps he took. No, there was no ice. No, there was no running of the last ten feet. No, there was no truth at all in the excuse he and others made for him. He lies, they swear, and a segment of the public sees once more, the 'new, not there at all' clothing of the would be emperor.
     Now, what did we see other than an old man, well past his sell by date, stumble. Well, for most we might chalk it up as just an off moment. Others might look at his postural signs and urge a complete checkup, as possible neurodegenerative or muscular degenerative syndromes are possible and probable. Add to that the lies, the water bottle problem, the visions of grandeur, and well, is the man capable of staying in office? Can we afford an obviously incapacitated president at such a moment of crisis, multiple crises, in our country?
    This is the man who was so very cruel and nasty when Hilary stumbled as she was ill with the flu. He taunted her, demeaned her, challenged her physical capacity to remain in the race, let alone the office for which she ran. He went with this for quite some time, and now he is accusing Biden of being a wiped out old dude, incapable of either physical or mental agility. Well, guess he had better look in the mirror, for what I saw, what the nation saw, is a damaged senior citizen who has demonstrably proven his incompetence, his delusions of grandeur, his physical weaknesses and his huge mental deficit, let alone the glaring lack of a moral backbone, with no values or goals other than to see himself in office.
    Pots and kettles, folks. Goose and gander. Time to look in the mirror and acknowledge what is there. Time to realize that this man is a man engaged in a chaotic, autocratic race to stay in his position and benefit his bottom line, provide jobs for his twisted children, and play down enough of his mental incompetence, so that people will just brush it off.
    That is what we saw not just yesterday but all the days of the past four years. We should be ashamed of ourselves, living out a fairytale of new clothing when we all should have known better. We should be ashamed of our Republican members of both Houses of Congress for their apparent spinal injuries, so bad that they could not stand up to danger, a clear and present danger to this country. We should acknowledge and recognize how this Senate has handed all the keys, all the balance scales, all the power of the three branches, over to a megalomaniac who cannot keep his lies straight, has not an ounce of human empathy for anyone, and now apparently his bloated body is acting up, the finishing touch to the devolution of a human.
     And now, as the market tanks, as we face either a continuation of the first wave, or the beginning of the second, for whatever difference it makes, as the death toll crosses over 114,000, and the cases over two million, as we stand increasingly alone in the world, why are we allowing this would be Nero to remain in office, let alone run for a second term? Will we have a president in the full throes of dementia, of having to be fed his food and water, who will have the stamina of a tired, sick and ailing, old man who should be resting in his rocker in one of his over the top gaudy homes?
     Be Well. Stay Safe. With him at the helm? With his weak and useless morally vacant crew behind him? Never. And just think what history will write of us and him. We will all be rolling over in the proverbial graves, ashamed at our lack of action, of our growing acceptance of hatred and incapability, of allowing the earth to be trashed under his rapacious behavior? Nota good legacy, is it?

SOLA VIRTUS INVICTUS

   Translation: Bravery alone is invincible.
     I would rather have liked to think that truth and honor are the virtues that are invincible in the long run, but perhaps it is still so. Link those virtues with that of bravery and one gets the road signs to a better world. We sure as heck need that right now. Desperately so.
     Bravery has certainly lost its way somewhere along the way. It has apparently morphed into the charge of militarily armed police who then resign with the cry that they are underequipped, unable to insure their own safety. Yet not since 9/11 can any police force claim to be under equipped. Not with it being impossible to distinguish them from the National Guard that has been called out upon their fellow citizens so often as of late.
     Approximately a two thirds majority of the protesters or those who crowd into that population are there for protest alone. It is the "bad crowd" that causes the troubles. But it is not those about whom we have to worry. Rather it is about the summary judgement passed on people for minor offenses. Annoying ones - yes. Dangerous ones - no. Police should have been trained as to how to defuse situations of minor offenses without the use of lethal force and certainly a person can be brought down by a non lethal wounding rather than a shot to a vital organ. It is just wrong.
     It is truly a scary job, to be part of the police. One can get killed while doing one's job, but apparently today, anyone can get killed while doing his/her job or exercising rights guaranteed to all citizens. They are compensated well, with heavy overtime, good health benefits, unlimited sick days, and they signed up for it all - protect, serve, defend and the consequences that might arise. I am not demeaning nor denigrating the risks, but today we all have risks and there must be better ways to subdue individuals who pose little risk. Sitting on necks. Violent takedowns to the ground for walking in an empty country road with no sidewalk does not merit that. Sleeping in a car does not either and if the taser had not been pulled, it would not have gotten into the hands of the 'offender'. Our primary first responders are on the whole wonderful at doing their job and are now being placed in situations fraught with danger. Apparently their training has been lacking. This cannot be allowed to continue. Bad for all sides in this mess.
     A character in a novel said so aptly for our times, that we appear to be "human tumbleweeds moving with the winds of hate." This is a statement crafted for our times, for the truth of it all. Watch the faces, check the videos, return back to hearings in the Senate and the House and cringe as you see the ugliness of hate projected on the faces of the committee members. See the ugliness of the winds of hate appear on the outside.
     Or attend a Trump rally. See the hate on the faces, in the shouts of the attendees. In the incitements to violence and growing hatred by Trump. See the growing numbers of extremist right wing groups, fine people all, who attach themselves to his campaign and spout his words, or in fact, place them in his very mouth. And see the lack of bravery in the lack of response, or flimsy, meaningless responses that say nothing, made by our apparent representatives - on all levels of government. 
     Now, only apparently after the violence of the riots, of the continued kangaroo justice, of the very real actions of Trump in bringing our military to fire on our citizens - echoes of China, Hungary,  Russia and when it was the USSR, Bolivia, Venezuela - and on and on. WE DO NOT DO THAT. NOT HERE IN THE USA. And yet, there it is. In the open. Cheered on by that hateful human directed by his own waves of hate, placing our military in situations where the choice to obey orders or the demands that they ignore patently illegal ones, immoral ones, well, we are in major trouble. And I am not confident of our ability to fix this mess, so deeply are we mired down in its poisonous muck.
     We have lost respect for one another. We see the opponent as an enemy, rather than as one who thinks differently, but not worthy of hate. Yet, this school of thought is growing in numbers every day. We have lost our dignity, our humanity. I wonder; do these Johnny come lately members of Congress actually dare to question, to wonder, as to why Trump is throwing down on so many outlandish and dangerous matters, why he rules by fiat,  by Executive Orders, why almost every move of his is one of hate, of limitations of rights, of insensitivity to historic wrongs.
     His actions reek of evil, of his intense mad drive to negate Congress, corrupt the judiciary and run this country as a puppet state of The Dictator, of the President for Life. Just read his statements over the years and see the egregious growth of paranoia and megalomania, in the explosive usage of words and tropes, sad memes of hate, of evil. Truly, Congress wonders how it reached this point? Look in the mirror. Read the Congressional Record. Check their own words and deeds. Learn to check their craven cowardly behavior at the door and stand up for America. Have a little dignity. Remember the virtue of bravery and defy the temptation to forget one's duties, all in the name of fear and cowardice.
      We have done, and are doing, what every conqueror wants to do - to strip the population of its humanity, of its dignity, of forcing them into places where no human should be. Yet, check these prisoners. Check the dignity with which they conduct themselves, despite all odds, more than one would think. The Prisoners of Conscience of Russia. The protesters of Tiananmen Square and Hong Kong, the mothers of the Desaparecidos of Argentina, the concentration camp prisoners, and protesters of all kinds and causes who quietly lay down in the streets or sit at a counter, or try to buy a home in restricted areas. There is dignity in their faces, in their actions. 
     "One required an extraordinary moral force to teeter on the brink of the Nazi infamy and not plunge into the pit. Yet I saw many internees cling to their human dignity to the very end. The Nazis succeeded in degrading them physically, but they could not debase them morally." Olga Lengyel
     Surely we can use them as our role models. Surely we can learn from history. Surely we do not want to repeat it, in any form, with glimmers and streaks of growing hate and violence. Most certainly, this is manifestly not the way to Be Well and Stay Safe. Instead, it will force those two concepts into the category of impossible dreams. Instead, let us be brave, follow the truth, and always act with dignity.

IT'S BROKEN

     At ever increasing intervals, a wave of despair flows like a tsunami over the electorate here in the USA. More and more, people are beginning to openly state their fears, no longer feeling they are over the top or will be centers of ridicule. Personally, I have been saying these things for a heck of a long time and here they are now.
     So that there is no mistake, let me be clear. I believe that Trump is the worst thing that has struck our country in its centuries of existence. He represents all those who are opposed to democracy, to equality, who are throwbacks to the despots of yesteryear and the newer dictators and tyrants of modern times, only these new tyrants are heavy into the murder and imprisonment of so many, that countries cannot keep track of their own victims - nor do they care.
     So you say  that we are not engaged in government sanctioned death. Right? Up to a point, a point which is swiftly fading into the air. When one praises the violence and over reaction of the police, calling it a "beautiful scene", describing it as "like a knife through butter", then Heaven help us. The sanctioning of official violence, the exaggerated responses, the deaths that have brought about this latest sweeping the nation protests, have highlighted the choices we have. 
     Either we recognize the inherent and obvious traits of this man, and vote him out, or we had better resign ourselves to the loss of our country, to the failure of America as the Founders visualized it, prepared a future for it, and fought for it. It renders moot the sacrifices of the hundreds of thousands, even millions, of people who have died while fighting to protect this country and its values. To keep a promise to the world to lead the free nations, to speak out for the oppressed and to welcome all to their shores.
     Rendered useless are all the social safety net programs, which while imperfect, were first steps and second and third, in the ever ongoing battle to enable all to have a fair chance to fulfill dreams, to keep a roof over the heads and food on the table, to clothe and educate their children, to have a fair and unbiased system of justice. We are now wiping out any advances we have made, throwing them into the ditches, and turning to words of hate as the governing guide for our nation. Worse than that is the fact that other nations are now using our evil excesses and turns in the road as justification for their own misdeeds.
     Responsibilities place a huge burden on the shoulders of those responsible. That is clear. It is certainly easier in the short run to abdicate on these duties, to let some other person take it on or forget about it entirely. However, enmeshed in that attitude, tightly wrapped in its behaviorisms, is the fact that such an attitude, such actions or lack of actions, will only implode and destroy us. Soon enough, we will become the maltreated, the despised, those beset by harm, by death, by prejudice, by an overwhelming fear that is strong enough to paralyze their beings.
    For years I have been open re calling this man and his followers fascists. No, I was told. You exaggerate. You just cannot stand that man. Well, correct, I cannot stand him. He represents all that is wrong with this country right now, all the harm he has done or condoned, all the scum of the earth that he has enabled to rise to the surface, all the poor deluded should know better people who still maintain, against all odds, that he is the savior of this country. Perhaps they are ashamed to admit their huge error. This, as the market tanks, the virus deaths explode again, the country is wrecking itself from within and without, justice is increasingly being meted out on the moment, in vicious, violent and often deadly manner, and our very precious right of voting is in existential danger.
     Yesterday there was an essay using, as the writer called it, "the 'f' word" - fascism, fascist. There are now two books coming out that speak the same language, that have come to the same conclusion, not very good for our future as America. For the very gestalt of 'Americaness'.
     Our democracy and the system of maintenance is "broken and on full display". We have lost our way. We have allowed the evil of hate, of atonal dissonance to overwhelm us. There is fear in the air. There is despair in the heart. Yesterday a question was posed to me and I was thunderstruck, unable to contemplate its possibility and meaning. I was asked, "What if he wins again?" No answer. The very idea, the very thought, is so impossible to contemplate, to envision, to see a new and bad country emerge from this very special place - well, I was struck mute. I cannot accept nor contemplate that situation. Battles raging in the streets. Blood spilled. Perhaps we will all have to run to Canada before they build their wall blocking those crazed immigrants bringing crime and disease to their country - those refugee Americans!
      See how it grows. See how it taints all. See what a mess we are in. See how that man, that Trump, has enabled all this, brought it about, along with his criminally morally devalued Republican Party and other right wing extremists and cowards, 'fine' people all, who march alongside, behind him, and cower and grovel before him. Truly, fascism.
     It's broken. So are we. We will have a tough road to full repair, and beyond, to reach and build a better America. But we must start now. Watch the voting process. Like an eagle. Demand an absentee ballot and mail it in immediately. Or bring it to the office yourself. But vote. Demand that right. Do not let others be disenfranchised. Be American in the full sense of the word. Be a true patriot, not the false ones who turn to fake religion, fake love of country, false words to ruin us all.
     If we really wish to Be Well, to Stay Safe, then we will have to face up to the real, the very real, the very possible, the already started, obstacle course growing in the path to that safety. We will have to put ourselves out, speak up, demand truth, demand answers, demand accountability. Or we are finished. Fight against that. That is all. That is everything.
     

I DO NOT KNOW

     That is kind of the mood I am in right now. There are so many things I do not know. I do not know if this virus will ever abate. I do not know if we are doing the right thing in opening our bubble up a bit to allow a daughter and grown up granddaughter in. I do not know when this job market will truly open up and people I know and love will be able to get back to work. I do not know what life will be like after a now looming second wave arrives.
     There are so many things and problems for which we truly  and honestly do not know the answers. No easy solutions, but supposed quick fixes have popped up. How do we fix this scary voting problem? Were those glitches in the machine on purpose, taking place mainly in black areas? Knowing the Georgia Governor and his behavior in the most recent election, well, the thought does stick in there, does it not? And while the post office seems to have fallen into some truly sloppy ways of late, with mailings taking long and nonsensical routes around, or staying within facilities for weeks at a time, it simply did not make the decision countrywide to hold back mail in ballots. If that was indeed the case, whoa, Baby!!
     So how do we solve that issue, for the election looms larger and larger in our front and rear view mirrors. Where are we heading and how has where we are coming from affected us? Will America cede that precious right to a free and honest voting process? Are we going to just shrug shoulders and beg for just a bit of peace and quiet, mistakenly thinking that no fuss about the matter is the way to go? So wrong - and that I do know.
     I neither know nor understand how people can twist themselves into knots so as to accommodate their supposed beliefs. They watch a short feel good mini video, agree so heartily with its message, to help others, to give people a chance, to hold off on quick judgements, and then praise a most revolting letter purportedly written by a law student from a top school. The letter is replete with every trope, every meme, every tired old hateful statement and phrase of hate, of right wing dangerous garbage. 
     We split the country, with the right wing taking the best and leaving what they call trash. They pervert the title America and Americans even as they insist on their right to own it. They trash every progressive thought and call down invitations to hate, placing all the things, topics and ideas that divide us into their treasure box. I do not know how they can be so blind to the past and the dangers to our future as they push this agenda. Nor do I believe that a law student wrote that, for it is as if this was written to order - and that I do know is the right thought. I do know that this should be banned from the waves, for it fits right in with the dastardly plans of those who would divide us forever, who would keep the nation in the throes of hatred, panic and confusion, as long as it is good for the market!! Those that buy into this crap are blind to the fact that their minds and bodies will fail as badly as a broken America as regulations fail or are rescinded and the world dies around us.
     I do not know so many things, and so many more topics seem to hide their solutions, the whys and wherefores from me. I freely admit that. What frightens me is when those who also do not know the answers, the permanent and positive ones, are so busy out there yelling and screaming, drowning out voices of reason, of compromise, of unity, of hope for a future, that we will never overcome our problems and we will rot from within and without.
     I do not know how we ever get out of this mess. What I do know is that we had better insure that ballots get mailed and delivered and returned in proper order. I do know that there had better be poll watchers galore to insure no hokey pokey, particularly in areas opposed to Trump. I do know that machines had better be checked by supervised and knowledgeable people who understand the vital necessity of honest tamper free voting to the continued existence of a democracy, in particular - US!
     I do know that if we truly wish to be well and stay safe that we need to be better than this. We need to shake things up, to overpower those who would overpower us with chicanery and dastardly deeds. I do know that if we do not vote against what we now have, we will never be safe nor well again. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, especially when a fake ugly hook - comes through. 
     Evade that hook. Recognize it for what it is. Know what it is. Reconcile your differences and please, please, come down on the correct side, the one of hope, of justice, of democracy, of a future, not a return to a past with dictators running this country and the 'camps' thriving! That I do know. Lincoln warned us as to the fact that a house divided against itself cannot stand and nor can a person divided against his inner truths, ignoring the truth, trying to paper over the contradictions. Nope, honesty and honor is what we need. That, I do know.

SHARP EDGES OF LIFE

     Yesterday was a day of contradictions, a day where sharp edges of life kept hitting each other, turning from laughter to tears in an instant, sometimes both at the same time. It was a roller coaster, frightening and invigorating at the same time. Particularly when one compared different eras to and with each other and wondered - if, will it, won't it....questions without assured and definite answers, only hopes and dreams.
     Of late, we have been delving deeper into family background, what happened to large families that disappeared without a trace. Families in Europe began to disappear in the chaos  of mass movements during and after WWI when the war, the fighting, the border changes, the ethnic violence, changed the world. People were left bereft of family and many never were to be reconnected. Not even two decades later, beginning officially in 1933 with the takeover of Germany by Hitler and the Nazis, the stealing of the Sudetenland, and the acquiescence of the world, mass movements began again. Terrified people were beginning to run for lives or were being forcibly removed, even from countries where they had lived for centuries.
       After the slaughter was officially over, though killings continued even afterwards as many people refused to return property, real and/or personal, to surviving and returning Jews, there was a search such as never had been before. So many were just gone. Nowhere to be found. The numbers, the overwhelming numbers of the dead, the murdered, the lost, became too hard to bear, even as frantic searches went on, desperate searches trying to find a sibling, a parent, a child, any cousin, a friend, a neighbor, someone - but often in vain.
      The chaos continued even as people tried to rescue children hidden in private homes, abbeys, orphanages, monasteries, convents, wherever, an effort to reclaim the lost of the Jewish nation, to reclaim a future for these children, some of whom did not even remember anymore who they were, where they had come from, whose parents were forgotten. Then the Iron Curtain began to draw closed and refugees returning from Russian slave labor camps where they had been imprisoned during the Soviet invasions and paranoia, and they too began to search. But the times defeated those efforts, the confusion, the chaos, the tumult, all came together with an evil synergy that prevented reunions, prevented hopes, dashed dreams. So people gave up on searching and tried to rebuild broken lives.
    Decades later people began the search anew, often by members of the next generation who wished to know more of the past in order to live the present and plan for the future. Who were they? Who were their ancestors? What were they like? Were there burial sites? Some even began to dare to think, to hope, that possibly, against all facts and known data, some long thought murdered, displaced forever, had actually been lost in the shuffle, never able to have made the connections in that unrivaled sea of confusion, taken to Sweden or Switzerland as they feebly tried to make up for their sins of the war, their hateful behavior with Jewish refugees running for their lives.
     Tentative, very tentative and often shy and timid reach outs began. Organizations grew and over this past week we have found the lost, survivors and descendants, or hopes of survivors based on pictures we were able to  find. Enormous archives have been releasing transcribed records and searches have gone deep and wide, almost desperately so, as the searchers seek desperately to tie the links together, to find the remaining remnants, to be with family once more, to honor those of their living families who had felt the loneliness of being the sole survivor of huge families.
     We are among those who now have the time, the resources, the knowledge, to go forward, slowly, carefully, to find the past and bring it to the now and the future. We have succeeded to a partial degree but are hopeful. The sharp edges of discovering how many, including my namesake, my Bubby's siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, branches of the family from the countries of Europe, how many were slaughtered; well, these edges hurt. Auschwitz, Belzec, Sobibor, Ghetto Lvov, Ninth Fort, Ponary Forest, the ravines and forests of Lithuania, the streets of Amsterdam - all now had pieces of my family, ashes and bones, memories, all gone in wisps of smoke, in rivers of ashes dumped in water and on farmland as fertilizer, buried and shot along roads to more death - and we wept. We cried at the loss. We cried at the family resemblances seen, so obvious. We cried at what could have been, what should have been. We cried at the inhumanity of man and the fact that it still continues. 
     Mass slaughters are continuing in this world of ours. For what? Why? For different names we call the G-d we worship? For different skin tones? For different looks or language? For different cultures? For simple greed and innate nastiness? For scapegoats needed by evil men who wish to rule and dominate? For more mothers to parade on the streets of Argentina and Mexico, other nations calling for the desperacidos, the disappeared?
      So where are the sharp edges of joy, those edges that smooth the pain of the cuts of those harmful edges that never seem to dull. For me, yesterday, it was a fake call to come to the computer to see whatever, and to find a screen full of smiling, laughing, excited, loving faces, kids, grandkids, all shouting Surprise! Happy Birthday! Wish we were with you came over loud and clear. One child says when asked what Tata does best  answered - "Hugging me, giving me hugs." Another says, "just being there, helping us, talking with us, listening to us." And so in the midst of laughter came the tears; I miss them so. The hugs and kisses. The memories and laughs as we gather together. Even the squabbling over petty peeves from long gone childhood! I miss it all. So very much, deep within my very bones, deep within my heart.
      Hours later, when we all disconnected, I wondered, when, why, how, will we ever get together again. Is there no way to safely reunite, to physically hold on to those beloved people, to feel the future hopes and the determination to never allow the past to return, to teach them their history, their traditions, to take pride in where they come from, to discover the link of generations and the dire necessity to keep those links smooth and strong, to disallow any more cuts and destruction of and by sharp edges.
      And so the next year of my life begins. It has me wondering what will be over its months, even over the next few weeks. It is a world with cracks and resemblances to times of danger, of a rising and feverish hatred permeating the air. But there is also the rising hopes of those who have had enough, who will fight this hatred wherever it appears, who will speak out, those who will finally find the moral courage to tell it like it is rather than cowering behind a fear based on their own built up cowardice.
     The world needs to remember the past, its glories and its errors, the consequences of it all. Only then, as many historians warn us, continue to warn us, plead with us, only then, if we remember that past and endeavor to avoid the errors, only then can we hope to build a world where all will be safe, stay safe and well, and move ever forward in a world replete with family and friends, a world where hands are stretched out with kindness and care, open wide, rather than clenched in a fist.
      Am I returning to an idealism of my youth or am I speaking these thoughts aloud in the hope of convincing myself that there is a future for all of us? Dare I believe that there will be a world where all will be able to live in peace, a world where we respect each other and the Creation of the Lord, where we give the earth the respect it needs and deserves, even if for selfish reasons alone. We cannot live in a world ravaged of trees, of greenery, destroyed by the raping of the land, the polluting of the air and water, the knees on the necks of all those not numbered among the uberwealthy. Dare we hope that we can erode the sharp edges of life into a patina that goes deep, lasts forever, a patina of generosity and love? I hope, I surely do. In any case, Don Quixote awaits. Together the two idealists will ride, hoping that we will find other dreamers to join with us.

WABI - SABI

     Is that a new term for you? It was for me when I heard it on a program we were watching on TIVO. The formal definition is:  a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. The aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete".  A simpler one is that it is a philosophy or way of living, an understanding, that there is beauty to be found in all things, even in the process of growing older, aging, and falling apart.
     Well, today is the perfect day for this outlook on life, for as the clock turned over into a new day, I suddenly aged a year, edging ever closer to the class of elderly elderly, certainly included right now in that class of things aging, impermanent, rotting? away, and certainly incomplete in so many ways.
     On the other hand, as I take stock of myself and my life in this world it is not all bad. Certainly there is beauty in some impermanence. Children do not remain the same age forever (though there are some men that belie that statement) but there is great joy in watching them grow through that impermanence even as the permanent values of love and family remain. Friendships change over years, deepen, while others fade away or burst into flames. Bodies age, prove traitors just when one needs them the most. And the world changes, sometimes too quickly and too much, often leaving behind a cruel miasma of confusion, lack of understanding as to the whys of life.
       Where is the beauty in some of those questions? Simple -  in the growth of the person, of the mind, of the values. In the midst of dealing with physical issues, I turn to my mind more often and discover that certain beliefs have strengthened and even better, have been inherited by grandchildren. That gives me hope for a brighter and better future than the one apparently awaiting us should the situation as is continue.
     I find values, certainly for myself, in my daily blog other than on Saturday and some other days of holidays. I find beauty in the exercising of those gray cells, diminishing as they might be through the normal aging process and attacked by the villainous alpha - synuclein of Parkinson's. Right now the brain is functioning, though I guess there would be some who disagree, but it continues to empower me as I write my thoughts early in the AM, alone in a room in a dark world threatened by figurative darkness of the times. Try it some time, write your thoughts, about your feelings, rant about your concerns and your confusion as to how we got in this present mess and how the hell we get out of it. I get a kick out of knowing that there are people out there all over the world - though how they find this little blog amazes me - who read me. For a little girl growing up in Brooklyn, raising a family, living a happy marriage, having a wonderfully enriching life as an educator, the ability to reach out is whoa!!! Amazing!
     But what about the rest of me, you might ask. Where is the beauty in realizing that one is not what one used to be, that activities become limited, that the situation will not change for the better, that tough times, tougher than now, are on stage just waiting to come forward centerstage. Well, believe it or not, there is beauty in that as well. 
     There is love, ever deepening, even after almost 53 years of marriage, as we work together within growing limitations. No, I cannot take those walks we used to love doing, but we can have long talks that dip into everything. We can discover that our beliefs have strengthened along the same paths they walked before, losing none of the energy behind them, even developing more energy, just different, and just as beautiful. 
     It is there in the joy of watching my kids step up to the plate, taking on some of the family responsibilities, even absorbing, albeit reluctantly, that indeed, their parents are aging, and when certain topics arise, they must take part in them, hear wishes they wish they never heard, but there is that stark beauty of growing maturity of a different kind, of a love between generations that will withstand the demands of time and life.
     There is beauty and value as one now finds the time to delve into family history, the exciting discoveries one makes, the growing understanding of the chains of generations, the link we are on that chain. It is the horror of seeing, reading, of so many names, names that are familiar to me because they are family names, only these namesakes are gone, horribly taken, removed from this life and here I cannot find beauty, though there is value in remembering what happened. Only in the fresh remembering can we deepen the depths of our determination to never allow this again, to fight against the hatred that leads, continually, to genocide, ethnic cleansing, to fresh horrors.
     Primo Levi, Victor Frankl, Elie Wiesel, Anne Frank, Emmanuel Ringelblum, and so many more named and known and unknown, found value in the worst and most unimaginable situations, reminding us always that we are people together and we must never lose sight of that. Even in our anger, our despair, there is Wabi-Sabi, beauty in the fight, in the values, in the determination to be of use, to survive and force the world back onto the correct, moral, and beautiful paths rather than on the destructive ones it gravitates to. There is beauty and value in the struggle itself and in the steps forward, teeny tiny as they might be, falling backwards as we might, but always, always, sometimes desperately, trying to move forward.
     So yes, I love that new term Wabi - Sabi. I love the way it gives value to that and those which the world is likely to discard and devalue. There is beauty in the new life one takes on as one ages, and yes, as one falls apart physically! There is a wonderful value and permanent beauty in my memories of highlights of my life, private and professional, of my growth in both worlds, of the people I love in both worlds. The pleasure of these memories is permanent even as there is impermanence in these aging memories, as some grow dimmer, while others break through.
     In any case, as my mother told me that I was born at night, I still have several more hours to remain a young 71, relatively speaking, before I turn over the next leaf of my life. I will sit and think for a while how we are defying fate and going to see my kids and grandkids over the next few months, missing them desperately, Zooming and all.
      So yes, Wabi - Sabi to all. Happy Day to all my readers out there. Thank you for allowing my voice to be heard, as little as it is, to find beauty and value in its thoughts, to help create some permanence in the movement of life even as the world struggles so hard these days.
     Have faith in mankind. Have faith that the Creator is watching carefully, allowing us to make our choices, finding beauty in our correct ones and finding hope in the impermanence of the wrong ones, the misguided ones. And always, remember the permanent thoughts that must be kept in the physical world - Be Well, Stay Safe, and have the courage to persevere in all situations and times. 

IT DOESN'T MATTER - OR - DOES IT?

     Well, it certainly does. We are now undergoing some of the most radical changes and statements ever. We have a city which says it will disband its police force and others are talking about defunding. We have former military bigwigs, generals, heroes of bin Laden's capture, former appointees of Trump, openly criticizing him. A huge change in so many ways. 
      We have an Attorney General tasked to protect the USA who interprets that duty as a must to be a shill for Trump, his master. We have Republicans who are finally, too slowly, and where the hell were they till now, finally speaking out about their "unease" with Trump. We also have polls which state that in the 'base', Trump is favored 93%, as compared to the numbers of general polls where it is 54% Biden to 43% Trump. Still. Still and all.
      We have a country that is an ever growing sewer of tribal warfare, a country which used to pride itself on being a meld of all, accepting of all, a salad bowl if one wishes, but a united country. Not any more. Stand quietly and you will hear the wind whistling through the ever growing fractures in our structures, our Constitution, our world changing Declaration of Independence almost discarded, lying in the dust, left behind as those rightwingers run from it and its import.
     So George Floyd was not an angel. He allegedly walked somewhat on the shady side of the law. So what? Does everyone guilty - or not, but accused of  - a wrongdoing deserve the equivalent of a lynching? And it is a matter of record that the Senate could not pass an anti lynching law that was unanimous in the House, because Rand Paul said no!! 2020. Lynching still not a federal crime. Emmett Till, Leo Frank, and the myriad others , the "strange fruit' of the trees memorialized in that powerful song - they all cry out, tears dropping, soaking the land.
     It doesn't matter, we are told, how often Trump tweets like a madman. Well, what else, actually, as that is what he is, but seriously, how can what a president tweet so, the amounts, the content, the visual image of the mind of a fat man obsessively tweeting nastiness and lies, - how can that not matter?
     The answer is - it matters. It most certainly does. No police force? Are they nuts?! Watch the speeders. Watch the petty crimes grow. Watch major crimes grow. Watch vigilantism grow. Like it or not, we need a recognized official police law enforcement corps. We certainly do. What we do not need is a racially biased system wherein prejudice and out of control behavior is condoned. So what we need is a change, a change from both within and without, a force to  indeed serve and protect - with equality, with calm, with new techniques, with ties to the community. But no police force? C'mon. One day, maybe, ever so far off as to be almost unimaginable, maybe, humans will finally reach their best and no police necessary. When? Far, far away. Long time away. Until then let us be realistic rather than foolishly idealistic.
      Military in the business of civilians? Whoa!!!! Major no no, and yet, it has been done before. Look back and see how many of our Presidents, Senators, Representatives, all levels of government officials, were former military, of all ranks, so precedence is there. What is not there is the open and distinct criticism of Trump, of any President, and his behavior, his lack of candor, of honor, of empathy, of his constant lies, of anything positive. That line of separation is blurring but who started this now? Trumpie boy did it what with his huge use of former military big wigs as appointees of government, with his threats and acts of calling in huge National Guard contingents, active and armed forces, the use of all military and policing forces, including those used to quell prison riots, some of the most violent ever forces - with no id on them. Bone spurs anyone?
     It does matter what a President does. It does matter what is going on now. It does matter when there is an open and blatant attempt to strip voting rights from anyone 'tainted' with the possibility of voting Democrat, certainly for president replacement! It does matter when there is open appeal to foreign powers to mess around with our elections, our most sacrosanct right. It does matter when the highest officer of the land begins, no, continues, his travels ever onward on an ever more direct road to dictatorship, to dangerous populism, to vigilante 'justice', to a return to gun totin' men - and women - and then what - duel at high noon and every hour on the hour?!
      It does matter and it does matter greatly that so many of the generation of 20's and 30's remain indifferent, tired of the din, the raucous behavior of supposed older and wiser people, the hypocrisy, the blatant violence, the open acceptance and backing of lies, obvious lies, by Trump.  The blind way that he is followed by his lapdogs so eager for a glance, a tap, an atta' boy!
     It does matter if we allow all this to continue. It does matter if we do not go to the polls and show the world that once again we are America, their ally, their ace in the hole, their role model, the progressive nation that leads others, that is not a practicing stewpot of bigotry, a country replete with the miasma of hatred and violence.
     It does matter. Greatly so. It matters that we choose the right over the wrong. It does matter that those who chose that man and his wrong ways finally admit, to themselves, at least, that they were oh so wrong. It does matter that we try not to paper over the national cracks, but fill them in, repave, smooth the underlying perils of refracture, and do so with brotherliness, with sharing of a country that we all should love.
     And until then I will symbolically take a knee along with the new NFL, along with those of the courage to do so, for it has nothing to do with the flag. A flag has been used improperly so many times, calling to those who would honor a red and black fascist flag and banner, or a flag waved by people who trash it with every action and word. 
     It is about our country. Its fabric. Its morals. Its honoring and hewing to the sentiments, words, and spirit of the Constitution and the Declaration and all that followed. It is a quest, a burning desire to stand tall and proud, belt out that national anthem, try to reach that high note - and stand proud that America has returned. Why symbolically? Because, trust me, getting down is nigh onto impossible and as for getting up - well, 'nuff said about that.
     What does matter is that we have the right to protest, to even be somewhat revolutionary in  thinking. That is how we came to be and we take pride in our revolutionaries who set us a standard, a pride, a patriotism for all generations to follow. It matters that if we do the right thing, that we take into account that which does matter, that we will finally Be Well and Safe again. Would that we take that turning point on our moral map and soon. Certainly by November. Certainly as we vote, by mail, in person, exercising that precious vote. It does matter that you vote. Each and every one of us. Do not give up that right. Be Safe and vote. It matters.

WHICH WILL IT BE?

     We are hearing lots of noise, threats, static, re the phrase "law and order". It is being bandied about as if it were a free PSA meant to improve our lives, reassure us that the powers that be have only the best in mind for us. Whether we like it or not!! Evidently, toddlers, angry toddlers, rule the day, using Angry Birds as their role models. Only they are real while the Birds are not.
      What is law and what is order? Is it that laws are imposed upon us, the people having no say in the process? Are laws good, bad, indifferent, meant for a temporary time or for forever? Are they meant to be changed on the whim of a "power" person? Are they meant to be for the population as a whole or for certain 'privileged' groups? Most important, are laws meant to be moral? Who defines that morality and what to do if they are manifestly not so? Not so simple.
     Then we need to answer the second part of the phrase. What is order? Is it a lockstep civilian population afraid to breathe the wrong way? Is it  mostly law abiding residents of a country - but what exactly are they 'abiding' by or to? What is order? Is it objective or subjective? Who decides that? Most important, what if that order is oppressive, wrong, morally tainted, inimical to everything that is progressive? What if that order takes us backwards in so many wrong ways?
     Finally, one must mesh the two  concepts. Do they actually go together, hand in hand, as people seem to believe, as they strew the usage of the term over all forms of media? Or are they actually opposed to each other, antithetical in their practical applications? If that is the case, then how does one choose and what does that choice say about them?
     Not so easy. Not at all. So maybe we should stop shouting the term and think about what we really need, what our choices mean, what the use of this term actually says about us. Finally, are these terms absolute, unchanging, immutable? When will we finally realize that slogans are dangerous, lead us down paths that enmesh us in  a jungle of opposing morality systems, cause clashes of populations, and totally inhibit thinking.
     Laws are not automatically right. Laws can be so wrong. Laws can change as new concepts are recognized, as thinking evolves. Laws can be formulated for the benefit of the many, for a better present and future, in recognition of a past that was not so straight, or laws can be used as immoral figurative batons to beat the people down, remove any safeguard, any surety of their inalienable rights, even as the 'lawmakers' rant about the Constitution, even as they violate its words and the spirit of those words. Even as they use real batons to apply the law and maintain order.
     Laws are not an excuse for unlawful behavior. The judges of Nazi Germany said they were doing their job, applying the law, punishing those who did not obey it. Really? Soldiers are held to a standard which states that yes, one must obey orders but not if it goes against the moral values of civilization, of humanity, if recognized as a war crime. The soldiers ordered out onto the streets of this nation could have been held to account as they battled peaceful protesters. Certainly the standing army even more so. These soldiers, these officers, swore an oath to uphold this country, to defend its laws, its very being, its core values, and they need to make choices re that vow and their actions.
     There is no order when the representatives of the law apply immoral standards, when they cross the line from protect and serve, to beat down and "kettle up" - all the better to wade in to a hapless population and have at it. That irritating and angry toddler in the WH was not satisfied with cowering in a bunker rather than speaking with his national constituents. Nope, he wanted more, to use his 'absolute authority" to call in the troops - ten thousand strong! - to beat down the peaceful protesters. He was asking and demanding that they be sent in and shoot their fellow Americans. Shoot the very people fighting for equality, fighting for the 40% of our armed forces that are people of color!! Fighting against unfair laws, unfair applications of those laws, and for a true and impartial order. What the hell is the matter with us that we have allowed the situation to degenerate so? To the point where talk of the unlawful and disorderly transfer of power as administrations change - please, Lord - speak more often and freely about a rogue ex president to be.
     Nor is there law and order when so many of the people are turned off by all the crises of the times. When they feel helpless and hopeless. When one problem is followed by another, even as the first is still there. When people find themselves hungry, homeless, unable to feed or house their children. So they develop an indifference to it all, other than for and about their daily basic needs. Buy food and feed the kids or buy masks? Protest and be unable to socially distance or take part in changing the world? 
    Speak out for law? Speak out for order? Remember the words of Elie Wiesel who warned us that the opposite of all that is good, the partner of all that is wrong, is indifference. Indifference leads to bad laws, harsh and cruel order, and death. Death of ideas. Death of books. Death of creativity. Death in every physical sense of the word. 
     Understand that indifference will eventually lead to you as well. Remember the Pastor in Germany who spoke up about protest and the consequences of ignoring oppression - it does come at one at the end of a long line of oppression and wrongdoing. Cowering in the dark, being willfully blind and deaf, refusing to speak out - till there are none left to defend you. Not a good option.
      If we wish to truly Be Well in all meanings of the words, if we wish to Stay Safe as well, in a healthy, orderly, just society, then we must take an active role in insuring that we get what we truly need, hopefully want, and demand - yes, demand - from the government. Law? Yes. Moral laws. Laws that are just. Laws that represent forward thinking, growth in the understanding of the makeup of humanity. Order that reflects those laws, not the order that crushes us. Order that gives a true sense of security, not a pervading fear of violating that order. Our choice. Our consequences. Plain and simple.

SO WHERE THE HELL IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?

     Remember the educational game with Carmen Sandiego, she of the big hats and the geographical hiding places? Fun and knowledge at the same time. A great bargain. Today, it seems as if we have our own and newer versions of that hunt for the missing person game. How lucky can we get!
     First we have that minor problem of a President increasingly hiding behind ever growing barriers, sealing off MY House, YOUR House, OUR House, from never mind visiting, but even seeing. Big black ugly fences are growing. Armed soldiers and others patrol the grounds and outside. Trump is not hesitating at all as he puts his statement of being the "law and order candidate" into action - around himself. Never has a president ever sealed himself  so off from his citizens, his countrymen, unless he was a fake president from a dictatorial country. Hmmmm. Getting warmer, are we?
     “I think the need to fortify your house — and it’s not his house; it’s our house — shows weakness,” she said. “The president of the United States should not feel threatened by his or her own citizens.”
     So stated an expert. And so we have a stalemate. Will we continue this ever growing closer regime of dictatorial structure or will we regain our senses, hitch up our pants and vote this guy out of office. Not only him, but also his enablers, his cowards, his cowering masses yearning not to be free, but rather to be stroked or kicked ever so sweetly by their master! Ugly!!
     Now here is another Carmen Sandiego question. Where the hell is Pence? Anybody seen him lately? Olly, Olly, Oxen Free! Come out, come out, wherever you are! But wait. This is not a game for children, is it? Rather it is a question of where the hell is our supposed backup to this demented President who should have been removed from office long ago? Where the hell is Pence?
     Now it is not that I am missing him, that Devil's Spawn ruled by Mother, but still, where is he? I have not seen a picture with him in it. I have not heard a quote from a statement by him. No comment re the horrific rifts within our country. No statement from him in the Senate as to why it is so difficult - in the year of Our Lord 2020 - to pass a law making lynching a Federal crime? Still? We still have to debate and legislate on this? With people still refusing to vote this into being? What an ugly disgrace for us and for the GOP which seems to also have gone missing in so many ways.
     So, the big , fat, ugly wannabe baby dictator of this country is taking his marbles - few as they are - and pouting all the while, and going to play not nice with North Carolina, accepting his nomination - such a shock! - from the Convention being held in Charlotte as he is elsewhere. What an infant. This man just grosses me out all day long and more than that. But again, where the hell is Pence?
       Has his overlord placed him in Trump Purgatory? Is he ill, a secret that we should all know? Is he somewhere around the world on a secret mission, like perhaps standing there with someone in Hong Kong as they run down protesters at a memorial for Tiananmen Square? Where the hell is he? Most important, should we really care? What has he done other than stand there with his dead face, staring off into space as his master runs this country down.
     The unemployment rate is up to 20%. The market is undergoing weird behavior, many now calling it a bear market rally. People are still dying even as more refuse to follow protocol, putting all at risk. Guess a day at the beach is worth more than the life of Nana or the pain of a child with new syndromes from the virus. How do we value ourselves or anything in this new normal where care seems to have gone missing, where the country has divided politically! on wearing a mask or not! 
     Where a TV personality can say this: "Well, he's allowed to have his view about what kneeling and the flag means to him. I mean, he's a person," Ingraham said. "He has some worth, I would imagine."  about someone she ostensibly supports as he seemingly supported her. How kind she is to acknowledge this man's humanity, something so many, too many have been denying for too long, as they do with any and all opposition to them. Glad she is no friend of mine.
     Meanwhile, the best they can do is to strut that man around surrounded by a phalanx of armed bullies, clearing the area around of peaceful protesters by using tear gas and physical force, so he can cross the street and hold an upside down Bible. What the hell!! And meanwhile, where the hell is Pence? If he is capable, why has he not come out against this inhumane policy of Trump's? Why would he think we would not remember this four years from now as he runs for office? Perhaps because the ugly new GOP feels that there will be no more elections after this November for Trump will remain in office by hook or by crook! So why bother?
     Murkowski disappoints us again as she works on our sympathy to her stress, she is trying so hard not to vote for Trump. The Party or the People? Should she or should she not? Perhaps she can go hunt down Pence and Carmen Sandiego while she is at it, and get advice from them. How to turn down a man and his regime that violates laws all the day long, who lies all the day long, who sits in his bathrobe tweeting away, a demented picture in one's mind. This is a man who approved an ad supporting his nomination and victory by using a picture of an astronaut's wife and son, as if they agreed that this NASA launch was a victory for him. Really? The man would not know a button on a launch program from a button on a toaster! And without permission of the wife as well. Needless to say, the ad is now withdrawn.
     Thinking.....thinking......thinking ahead to a world where there would not be a Trump ruling us. No Pence to stare us down and disappear when the going gets even uglier. Where callousness and cruelty, poisonous hatreds would not waft over the land. Where the waters, the air, and the land, the national monuments, the borders, The 'Americaness' of us all, of our country, would be  back in play. Where the Lady of the Harbor will hold up a newly refurbished torch, a welcoming smile on her face as new immigrants, the lifeblood of the country, return and are welcomed.
      Where we can be well and stay safe in lower case letters. Where we will have trust in the government to prepare for emergencies, to do right by its citizens, to remove ugly black walls from seized private lands. Where America will be America once more and Americans will all remember what it means to the world to have that America in place once more.
    To Dream the Impossible Dream? I hope not. And while we are waiting for the time to come, the time to vote and the time to eject and reject these twisted people, please, Be Well and Stay Safe.

AND SO THE ELEPHANT CAME IN AND ...........

     When my oldest was a toddler I could not figure out why suddenly she had a scapegoat for her little misdeeds. It was an elephant. An elephant that evidently came in through a window and then proceeded to rampage through the house, pulling out pots and pans, emptying drawers, pulling books off shelves, wherever mischief had struck. Where did this elephant come in?
     And then I knew. There was a segment about a little boy sitting at a table along with a spilled glass of milk. With a straight face, an innocent angel face, he told his mom that the elephant had entered through the window and reached over with its trunk, and purposely spilled the milk. For sure, he was innocent of all charges!  
      Cute. Adorable, and perfect for a little talk about imagination, about mischief, about telling the truth, not to be afraid of owning up to it. At times I still call upon that elephant in various discussions! But today, here in the USA, we have an unimaginably huge elephant not just in the room, but sitting out there in public squares, in malls, in homes, everywhere. It is an elephant that seems to be invincible. It is the elephant of discrimination. The elephant of lies, of dastardly and never ending lies. 
     The elephant? Trump. The rest of the herd? His simpering, worthless, no, dangerous, suck-ups who seemingly have not even a glimmer of morality, of values, of anything worthy of even a glance. Yet they are the people who rule this country. These are the people and their leader who are ransacking our country, ruining it for decades to come with dangerously incompetent judges, with regulation negation, with vile statements and deeds.
     There is no elephant here other than the elephant who marches out in his blue suit, colored tie, and proceeds to lie through his teeth. In fact, if I ever heard a truth emanating from that mouth I cannot remember it. History is written by the victor; that is why the 'story' in history. Seriously, people have distorted history throughout the ages and it takes time, but the truth does out. In the meanwhile, that damn elephant has come to live in OUR national home - the White House.
      A grown man uses armed forces against his own citizens. Tear gas canisters streaked through the air and ravished and ravaged the protesters, peaceful protesters, clergy and laity, and why? Because that elephant needed to make a photo-op, courtesy of the oh so wonderful Ivanka, and so, bone spurs acting up, evidently, the forces were called out and the oh so not presidential walk across the street took place There he resorted to the proverbial last resort of scoundrels, religion, and holding the Bible upside down, took his ridiculous bows. What a crock!! What an insult to elephants! Better he should have remained cowering and crouching in that bunker that he suddenly had a wish to see and inspect!! Elephant talk indeed! This, the man who now threatens that "If they don't get it straightened out soon, I'll take care of it." - referring to NYC.
     We are living in a United States today that has gone missing. There is no humanity, no compassion, only lies and greed. Students are shafted time and time again as loan relief, even from false schools, is denied. Veterans are left hanging. Our national emergency reserves, meant for safety in times of need have been exposed as not there, inadequate for the needs and demands of a crisis, and this elephant refuses to allow anything to land on him. He denies responsibility for all yet claims total authority, in his own words, threatening to come to all places and force - FORCE - Americans to do his bidding.
     Never mind the anger. Never mind the injustice. Never mind the invasive and dangerous hatred that is a major growth stock - but please do not buy into this stock. There is no profit here, only loss. There are intrusions by white right wing extremists who encourage violence after the protest marches end peacefully. There are greedy creeps who take opportunity to loot, the 'bad crowd' we have been warned against and about from the time of the Bible and the Exodus from slavery in Egypt.
     The Israelites were on their way back towards their homeland, a land where they would be free, could live with the laws given to them by G-d and His messengers. A land where they were people able to stand high and build their lives, not slave away for the benefit of others.
     Today, so damned late, so damned long in happening, people of color are also trying to come home, but their home is right here, so why must they struggle so hard to claim the rightful way of life, allowing them to be people - good, bad, indifferent, scientists and crooks, teachers and students, strivers and wastrels, exactly as all else on this planet. 
     Prejudice does not stop. When victims run short, why, there is always another group awaiting their "just' violence and hatred. Almost every single group of hyphenated Americans and I do hate that - for we are all Americans, for this is our country and nowhere else do we see that hyphenated term. No one in England is called an Italian-Englishman or an Hungarian Frenchwoman, so why here? Why? It only stresses differences that are not really important. Every single group that immigrated here has felt that inherent prejudice and irrational hatred.
     We are Americans. That elephant is not. It is an invader, out of place,, unwelcome, a hulking bulk of a pernicious liar who would have us all follow him on a dangerous path, all leading to the demise of the USA, perhaps forming one of those fake Democratic Republics of wherever, the complete opposites of who and what we are supposed to be.
     Recently, person after person, has come out with alarming statements. Their fear has reached paralytic heights or depths. Thomas Friedman yesterday wrote that he is, at 66, frightened that he is seeing the end of this country, this democracy. That elephant has so badly stomped on us. Writer after writer, former Trump administration people - such as Mattis,  say, .“ “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people — does not even pretend to try. Instead, he tries to divide us,”.  All are finally speaking out and yet the elephant continues his rampage, along with his blighted crew and destructive horde and we, the people, are being trampled, almost to the point of no return.
     We have been warned about hatred and its consequences. We have had eloquent speakers wage verbal warfare, hoping to end the violence, negate the hatred, eliminate prejudice. We have resisted this for so many, too many, years. Let us open our minds to the truths that should be, as we are famously told, recognized as "inalienable rights".
      We have heard the transformative speech , the Dream speech of Rev. King at the Lincoln Memorial, the same president that the elephant claims to be even better than  - "Honest Abe'. The gall!!! The lies. Trump has never met an honest moment in his life! 
      We have lived through the Holocaust. We have lived through the murders and genocide attempt by the Hutus over the Tutsis. We have seen the killing fields of Cambodia, the irrational violence perpetrated against the Rohingya. We have lived through the Armenian expulsion and slaughter. We have lived through the newer concentration camps for Serbs. When will we ever learn? When?
     Perhaps we need to reread and internalize better, the words and warning of Elie Wiesel, a brilliant man who rebuilt a life interrupted, nearly destroyed, and brought words of warning, of hope, of lessons, of values to the world. Read them. Believe them.
     When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy… . Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must—at that moment—become the center of the universe.
     If we wish to Be Well and Stay Safe, then we had better heed them. We had better see to it that that wild, renegade elephant returns to where he belongs - out of office, charged with crimes he has committed throughout his lifetime, and enclose him in the same bars where so many have been incarcerated for too long, even if deserving of punishment for crimes, judged too harshly, unfairly or treated inhumanely.
     Hatred against one group of people is hatred against all. Endorsement of a renegade elephant is endorsement of a violent and illegitimate way of life. Battle the odds and the interference and get out there and vote. Put that herd of elephants away where they can do no more harm. It is upon us. No one else. No neutral ground here. Either/Or. Make your choice and then live with it. Responsible people will turn aside that intruding and intrusive elephant. Let us get with that program. Now. Now. NOW.

G-DAMN!!!!!!!!1

     I sit here, this early Wednesday morning, all at sixes and sevens. What to write? Can words even express the situation at all, or is it a lost cause? The worry, the confusion, the danger, the shock! Not even during the awful 1968 riots at the Democratic  Convention in Chicago was there this depth of a raging war within the country itself. Yes, the younger generation found their voices and  some degenerated into violence. The nation was split, violently at times on Vietnam, but always, we were the United States of America. No one had any words to say that we were dissolving, that we were walking step by step, running, step by step, into the world of degenerating democracies, emulating the fall of nations, the downslide into banana republic behavior and status. They certainly have those words now, today.
     Today people are stating this more and more. They are coming out of that closet wherein we hide the truth, where truthsayers are locked in, jeered at, but - the truth will out. For years, years! I have been warning about this and it is only recently that we have all reached this conclusion. It is now up to us as to what follows.
     We have a president who is truly not the legitimate one. I believe he stole the election, used fraud, disruptions, intimidation, and more, to earn his outmoded Electoral College win, losing the popular vote, the way the election should be decided. Yesterday there was a strong essay re the status of the current presidency and the fact that Trump has abdicated his presidency, refused to bear up under its burdens, refused to understand that his needs, his twisted needs, are so far down the ladder that one cannot see them. The country comes first. The citizens come first. Not him.
     International leaders are either confused, as is Trudeau who could not answer right away as to his opinion on military usage in the USA, but who then answered honestly and openly. Others are laughing away as they watch their enemy self destruct. G-damn!! What are we doing? What have we allowed? What are we continuing to allow?
     Yesterday we had a courageous turnout of voters. Faced with Covid danger, with bad weather, with challenges to their right to vote, with voting places which were disappeared, moved, canceled, with awful lines, with curfews, with polls placed in police stations - and just imagine the feeling as armed police, garbed as the military, and/or the militarized SWAT teams, walk in and out, as you, a young black woman or older man or whomever, stand there waiting to vote, afraid to move a muscle, lest you be accused by an instant kangaroo court and get tased.
     And the so called president? He falls into the last resort of the scoundrel. He has his armed soldiers and police push back non violent protesters, clear a brutal, tear gassed path for the coward - guess his bone spurs were acting up once more, poor thing - and he walks through holding a Bible! A Bible! When was the last time he opened one? When was the first time even? Could he name any principles of life found in that book? Did he even know enough to hold it right side up  and stop posing like a girl in her graduation cap and gown? The answer is a profoundly loud NO!! To all.
     The question now is this: can we survive to November without a loss of democracy? Can we remain a country, united, though shaking and fracturing? Can we hold on and can we be sure of a peaceful transition of administrations, not destruction, no refusals, no civil war. In fact, I have lost count of the many people who tell me that now they are carrying their pistol with them, wherever they go, or keeping it on hand in their homes. What have we done? What are we doing? How low have we fallen? How have we agreed to destroy our own country? How have we allowed this awful monster into office, allowed McConnell to expose his inner ugliness as well, refusing to condemn Trump's use and threats of soldiers? How? For how long? Or is this the now new normal. G-d forbid. and g-damn all who have allowed it.
     Go, all of us, and look into that mirror, Peer not at your hair or clothing, but at the inner being of the person standing there. Can you honestly say that you have done the right thing, that your initial desire to vote for that destructive man was genuine, or  useless and even dangerous, and what have you, we, us wrought!!!
      There is some hope, There is a light still gleaming in that fog of tear gas and pepper spray, in the abuse of our press, in the suppression and muzzling attempts on the press. There is hope that the broken pieces of the GOP can be glued together, and as the bone is stronger at its point of healing, so too can we, the people of the United States also become stronger. 
     But it must happen now. NOW! There is no time to waste. There is no more escapist fantasies of that man riding to the rescue. All he has done is make the situation worse than ever, allowed a vile hatred to ride to the surface, forced bubbles of acid onto the fabric of our nation and is too damned close to destroying it all.
       
Be Well? Be Safe? How?
   
Read this passage from Hemingway's A Farewell To Arms and perhaps we can get some comfort and understanding from words again, some inkling of hope, a glimmer of light.
       "If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

"They say it makes you stronger, but first you gotta survive
What didn't kill you, it will make you wish you died....      (Cory Branan, "Survivor Blues")

      Recovery will be hard. We will lose good people along the way as we slog now in an uphill battle, on a very steep slope. But we can do it. And we must remember that the longer we delay, the harder the task. We must start now. This very minute. No, this very second. And there is no room for anyone to sit this out. No room for supposed neutrality for it does kill all. 
     The sands of that hourglass are swiftly sliding through, counting  down the optimal moments, the few, that are left. Danger is nigh. Feel that. Hear that. Know that in the very marrow of your bones, with every beat of your heart, and every breath that you take.
       No being safe now. No holding back now. No more being part of that herd of lapdogs who vie for the master's favor and live in fear of his disfavor. Time to grow up, become men and women of valor, of courage, of morality, of truth  seekers. And put down that upside down Bible until you understand its true import. Trump and the hateful 'religious' so called leaders who follow him, who prepare the path before him, who endorse and encourage his hate, are the least religious people I know. If one cannot love one's fellow man, then at lest treat the others as you would wish to be treated. Fairly. Decently. Simple as that.

THE PROVERBIAL STRAW

     We often state that one thing or another was the straw that broke the camel's back or some other substitute term. Well, we have reached not only the straw, but many straws. The system has cracked wide open, the fractures that have been maintaining some integrity have failed. There are leaks and damages all over, straws piled everywhere. Truly, more than backs have been broken.
     I am white, but have no 'white privilege'. My people, my religion, my faith's homeland - all have been the victims of prejudice, even unto, and mainly, death by the millions. We have been on the same signs that bar dogs. We have been denied jobs, promotions, homes, leases, rights, life - in all countries of the world. There have been Jewish quotas in universities - especially right here in the good old USA. The world has stood by silently as we were slaughtered, and still, the old and evil canards repeat themselves, and still, people believe them! Time for some mameh loshen - plain talk.
     Jews have been on the front lines of civil protest, walking hand in hand with the crowds at Selma, at all places where protests were held, serving as lawyers, as doctors, as donors, as believers in the rights of all mankind, for they know so well the horrors, the straws, of discrimination and hatred. Our backs have been broken in every way imaginable.
     But there must be a line. Violence has no place other than the last resort. It raises opposition  where there would have been sympathy. It irritates the people standing on the sidelines and they come down on the side of "law and order", a synonym for military intervention, for the threats of such as Trump whose goal has been exactly that all these years - to bring in the armed forces, destroy the press, the reporters, kill the opposition off through slander and the cowardice of his GOP, especially that creep, McConnell, and impose his version of 'law and order' upon the land. It is not a new sequence. It is not a unique sequence. No, it is ugliness personified, the reflection of his ugly inner soul, the end of America. It has happened elsewhere. It can happen here too.
    The protesters know this and for the most part they have been peaceful. Angry? Yes. Hurt? Yes. Terrified? Yes. Worried for the future? Yes. Tired of their people being killed in summary judgement, if we speak the truth, at the place of an alleged crime, for the crime of just being there? Oh, yes. Most will walk, cry out, chant, protest - but then there are the others. Those white young men who smash windows and urge violence. Those black wannabees who think this is a great time to loot and get those goods for sale. The police, who threaten and shoot at journalists, throw them to the ground, douse them with pepper spray for the crime of being there and doing their jobs. And there is righteous anger that will burst through.  
     Yes, there are righteous cops who join the peaceful protesters, kneel with them, protect them. There are protesters who have protected the cops, but there is too much violence for it not to be organized, a nefarious plan of someone, some movement, to garner points for itself. You read, listen, watch, and make your decision. I know where mine falls.
     And should you state that oh, no, the cops never do anything wrong, they are all neutral  -how wrong you are and unfortunately the bad apples are more noticeable than the good ones there in bulk. How do I state this with confidence? Because I KNOW. Many years ago, a friend of the family was driving a repaired car back to the owner, my dad, a distinguished man, a man who loved justice, a man who did not single out anyone for dislike, other than those who broke the law, displayed injustice. He was stopped, and accused of stealing the car. Why? Who knows? They were bored on patrol? They hated that brand of car? They were nasty? He was black? Pick your choice. 
     He called my dad, who came out, with my brother, to take care of the matter. Instead, at the first word of explanation, he was jumped, by both of the cops, young, healthy specimens who needed to vent? To prove manhood? By beating up a middle aged man? Again, you interpret. My brother, to his great credit, jumped in to save my father. Needless to say, he, too, was beaten up and they all were arrested, cuffed, thrown in cells, alone, and even tried to drown my brother in the cell's toilet.
     When the desk sergeant saw the group trundle in, he turned white. "Do you know who that is? Do you know what you did? That is Judge .....!" The harm of that beating, the disillusionment, the legal shenanigans to protect the city and the cops - why? What for? So do I and my family know the rightful anger that can arise? The anger that makes one want to smash something? Yes, for sure.
     A well known figure in the sports world, white - so no snarky remarks - said it all, laid the blame where it rightfully falls.  “It’s unbelievable. If Trump had a brain, even if it was 99 percent cynical, he would come out and say something to unify people. But he doesn’t care about bringing people together. Even now. That’s how deranged he is. It’s all about him. It’s all about what benefits him personally. It’s never about the greater good. And that’s all he’s ever been.”  The straw is there in the Oval Office. The coward is there, hiding in a darkened WH, hunkered down in a bunker, frightened of and by his own countrymen. We need to understand the powerful import of all that.
     We need to understand the true goals of all the attempts to deny voting rights to so many, to the rants against a well known and good form of enfranchisement - the mail in ballot, which I do myself. We need to understand the war against the press that he has waged, encouraged, to the point of violence and open attack. We need to understand his twisted plans and mind, the unthinkable that would happen should he lose - oh please! - and refuse to peacefully concede, turn over the government and go! Far way! Anywhere but here! If he does not, if his cowardly, immoral weaklings of the GOP refuse to join in condemnation, then what? Civil war, blood in the streets, a country riven once more unto the breaking point? A world turned upside down?
    Read, think, watch, listen, think, understand, follow the points to the end of the sequence, think some more, and then ask yourself what you really understand and know, like it or not.
     Only if we do that, will we have a chance to Be Well and Stay Safe - and our country as well. Time to hoist those bales and replace the straws in their proper places. November is the date. Be there.

THE TRACKS OF TEARS

     America is crying. It is shattered, confused, riven by tragedy and concern. It is rife with confusion. How did we get here and how do we move forward? Can we move forward? Or are we stuck in a revolving rut, tragedy returning every few decades when the pot simmers to boiling, overflows and scalds all in its path?
     The anger of the late 60's, the rejection of America as a guiding light, the violence - I had hoped we were done with this, that we were grown up enough to know that violence does not win, but rather turns away those who would support the protests, its causes, but now, instead, are turning away. But from whom and from what? That is the question and the answer is a pivot point for America, a decision that will affect decades into the future, with conflict already laid in.
     I believe I understand the anger on both sides. Americans are aggrieved, by violence, by violations of rights, by the imposition of capital punishments on whims and violence. There is anger that though progress has been made, why are we still talking in terms of progress three quarters of a century after the summer of the Freedom Riders? Why are we negating the deaths of those who were slaughtered in this cause, including many Jewish boys and girls from up North who saw this as a continuing battle of hatred and prejudice, of death, two decades after the Holocaust when over 6,000,000 of their fellow Jews were killed in the name of hate, in the face of dastardly excuses and glowering, crazed faces. Several gave their lives for this cause.
     On the other hand, there are those haters who cannot ever move on. Hate is the only thing keeping them going. They, too, are deprived, of dreams, of hope, of education and a future for their kids, of medical care, of a surety of rights, constantly facing unemployment, hunger, homelessness and an all pervading acidic fear that eats away at them and their balance. They, too, suffer, and they, too, need to vent and they vent, as do most people, on those they feel are even lower than they are - or should be! Why, they feel, are they stuck in that awful rut, or shoved back in, when those 'below' are doing well, mixed couples and kids roaming around, black faces showing up in high positions, of authority and wealth, owning businesses, raising children with dreams for them.
      The sad part is that both are right and both are   wrong. All, ALL, should be entitled to the rights of Americans, of humans. All deserve the dreams, the hopes, a chance at a future, but when the leadership of the country fails us, we are left only with implosions and explosions. We tout the law even as we break it. We tout fairness even as we are manifestly not fair. We push authority and the law, even as that same authority breaks the law, or violates its spirits, and blood is shed, on both sides.
     To watch two videos was to see horror for all. The horrific video of a man slowly being killed, his literal breath stolen from him, and then to see the video of a policewoman being dragged for several feet along a street, to see an older policeman dive in to try to rescue her, to see her body pulled hither and thither, pulled in both directions and the pain and injuries she suffers, well, they were both horrific, threatening to the fabric of our nation,
     To put it bluntly, we are either a nation of compassion and law, or we are simply a group of people with a very thin veneer on our surface and it cracks under a bit of extra pressure. It revives our more savage traits and we scream on both sides of our rights, our justifications for violence. The true answer? No violence, as tempting as it might be. No violence, for it negates the worth of the protests, allowing the 'enemy' to 'prove' how right they are. It is self defeating - on both sides of the issue and we only delve deeper into the cesspool, that quicksand of filth, that which allows us no exit.
     We have no leader. We have only a cowardly, greedy, demented man who incites violence and then hides from it. We have a man with ambitions, strong desires to be King, or at the very least, the founder of a new and perverted political dynasty, with the rule of America being placed within  their twisted custody. We have a society split so deeply, so unfairly, that I and many others despair of it ever being healed, at the very least papered over enough to allow for discussions and forward movement.
     We are further attacked by the natural world which we have greatly destroyed in our arrogance and carelessness, and even selfish desire. We are sickened unto death by new plagues, by diseases that move from animals to us, a fit ending to us all? Or is there any chance, any wisp of hope, that we can find in the midst of all this tragedy?
     Can we hold back, pull back? Can we look at each other across that bottomless divide and figure out how to bridge it? Can we, dare we, fix things, have the patience to work it out? Can we put away the hate inciting politicians who have lost all morality, lost sight of values and ethics, and slurp their fill and more at the troughs of the public?
     G-d knows it sounds as if it is hopeless, a task of gargantuan parameters, a festering, endless, as old as time issue. I believe we can if we but will it to be so and wade into the battle not with fists, but with justice, with understanding, with proper leadership, with the injection of hope and the power of dream once again.
     The fact of the matter is if we do not struggle here to do the right thing, painful as it is, on all sides of the matter, then we are lost. We will never Be Well nor Stay Safe. One can never hide from hatred. It eats through everything, its acid scars and destroys. Can we not look in another direction? Please? Else, there is nothing left, nothing that most of us have any desire for, our dreams crushed, our children doomed to a gray, dreary, harsh life - all of them, no matter color, ethnicity, religion or anything. Only money. Only power. Only selfishness. Only a presumed power. Only an ending doomed from the beginning. No Wellness. No Safety. For no one. For anyone.
    Let stop for a moment or two and listen. Listen to the cries. Listen to the pain. Listen to what your true soul, unblemished, is telling you. Listen to the warnings and heed them. There is no other way.