NOT REALLY!!

  How simple life could be, especially in a scripted program. Know what to say, how to respond, who says what. "Beam me up, Scotty" was the go-to statement and decision when things got too hot to remain in place. Just get the hell out of Dodge- and off they went, ready for another show. Well, I, for one, wish we had that option, to beam out of this wacked up totally Snafued world. But that option is not on the menu. We had better figure out some other way in which to handle this ugly mess, for if we fail, a definite possibility, the future is unspeakable, to be dreaded, rather than serving as a repository for hopes and dreams.

The whole thing is surreal. One does not know where to look, where to turn, how to turn, in fact. Who the hell knows where we truly are, so how do we figure a way out. Paper maps are obsolete, and who can fold them anyway! Too much interference with Waze, GPS, On Star and any other app. So, are we, as one of my kids used to ask, "Are we losted?" The obvious answer - oh, yes, we are.

It is a world where from one minute to the next there is yet another shocking, breaking news story. Our heads are bombarded. Our minds question the reality of it all. We wonder just who is running the asylum; is it Arkham Manor in real life? Calling Batman. Send up the Bat signal, but no joy here either. It is not working. 'Losted' we are.

What next? Well, the news feeds seem to feel that what will comfort us is to read the "9 Things Not to Wear When Traveling on a Plane" or some other such nuggets of wisdom. Really? Do we need to be instructed on whether to put on clothes, to take a sweater for a freezing plane, to pack a mask, to can the pjs, to ditch the heels or fancy cowboy boots? Really, is this our perennial first day at school dither? Or is this simply a distract them moment, now stretched into weeks, months, years? Ironic too, for today, one never knows if the plane will arrive, get delayed, canceled, 'losted' somewhere out there, seeking a flight crew and holding those awesome snacks! What to wear? Survival clothes!

Not quite sure, though, whether there are any survival clothing wares out there for other, 'minor' happenings out there. Are you scratching your head, wondering, thinking deeply as to what could be more important than the clothing for travel? Perhaps you are right, for we are now travelling in uncharted territory, apparel suitable not yet invented. Just get dressed. Take the first step.

Remember "We Didn't Start the Fire" as Billy Joel would shout his litany of troubles round the world? Well, we certainly could have a new version. And, in fact, we did start the fire, or allowed someone else to light it up, feed it, encourage it, and now, now, it is raging out of control. An egregiously outrageous, illegal invasion and destruction of a smaller country by a giant, Russia, and the world stands by and allows this bloody proxy battle, a harbinger of things to come, to meld into the background as newer stories, outrageous, once unthinkable events take place. More dead? More rubble? Ho-hum. Yawn.

Brittney Griner is treated as human trash, worthy of nothing but to be a pawn in the political battles of two countries with competing theories of government. Spartacus moments few and far between. In fact, cannot remember the last one. Too far back in the midst of time. Emanating from the fogs of time are the echoing cries of the past, of the Nacht und Nebel horrors of Nazi Germany, and the newly echoing voices of modern-day tormented souls, of mankind serving itself up on its own platters - and for what!! For nothing. Other than making a huge mess of the whole thing. 

So, Ukraine. Next up? America. Are we entitled any longer to call it that, as America stands for more than a nation in North America. It stands, or stood, for good, for hope, for errors corrected, for patriotism, for humanity, for efforts, for picking oneself up off the floor and going at it again. Where is that America today? Nowhere to be found, or at best, a mere shadow of what once was. Peter Pan lost his shadow and needed it back. Do we, can we?

Read the following and then tell me if we have indeed, enough, more than enough, to rewrite the lyrics of that iconic song.

Trump's Mar-a Lago raided. Evidently, the toilets are clogged - as were those of the White House during his residence there. Always said he was full of it! Oh, not to forget the ketchup stains on the wall. And, of course, a 'brilliant' Fox pundit tells us “...this is the worst attack on this republic in modern history, period.”‬ Uh, thought that was the rebellion, the damned huge insurrection, of J6! How silly of me.

” McCarthy said. “When Republicans take back the House, we will conduct immediate oversight of this department, follow the facts" Nothing like a good old weaponization of the government to pursue 'facts', particularly those of a vivid, twisted mind.

 " ...not nine people on the Court. That’s my view.” Says Graham, even as his nine people - actually, six, rescind the rights of so many. The right to choose. The right to make one's own decisions. The right to vote. The right to have legal, nationally recognized same sex and interracial marriage, to adopt. Uh-huh. Spare me his version of life and rights and its interpretation.

The FBI conducted the raid. The same FBI which tanked, admitted to it, the investigation that never was re Kavanaugh, our second sexual pervert on the Court.  The Secret Service?  Nah, even worse!

Rudy Giuliani says he cannot fly to Georgia. Eric Trump has marbles in his mouth and sh-t for brains when he says, serious face and all, avoiding tripping on his forked tongue, "Honestly, I hope – and I’m saying this for the first time – I hope he goes out and beats them - no, he lost to them - but what is truth between friends -" because honestly, this country can’t survive this nonsense. It can’t," Honestly? Honest and Eric Trump do not share anything in common. Not ever.

Sated yet? Or is our appetite for self-consuming so savagely intense that nothing will stop it; nothing will sate it. Not anymore. I could cry. In fact, I do. So should you. But more than that. We need to raise our voices, to demand a reality show that accepts reality as is and not what we twist it into, a misshapen curse on our futures.

So as we run around catching giant 17 foot invasive Burmese pythons, as we find human remains in the dying Lake Mead, some stuffed in barrels - Jimmy Hoffa, anyone - we forget to check in, to catch and dispose of, the human pythons feeding on our country. Draining it, squeezing it to death, and how many lives are going to be ruined, dreams destroyed, before we truly understand that if we do not use it, we lose it - democracy down that crapper of Trump and up with fascism, autocracy, virulent, open hatred and discrimination, and worse.

Really? Yes, really.

# 42

 If you do not recognize that number and its significance, then let me enlighten you. We are all of us #42. Perhaps it resonates a bit more with me because that was my son's number on his basketball team, but in fact, this number, #42, should be etched in your heart, for we are all #42. Until the owner of that number is free and clear, home safe, we are all #42. 

Folks, beware the dangerous situation in which this #42 has become so thoroughly enmeshed. Though we are physically not there with #42, we certainly should feel the pain, the agony, the total bewilderment of a life gone to rack and ruin. Yet another pawn in a world twisted and turned by crazed megalomaniacs such as Putin, enabled by a USA weakened, belittled via the years of Trump.

Brittney Griner is a professional basketball player for the Phoenix Mercury in the WNBA. At 6'9" she is a powerhouse of energy and skill, and usually has a bright face and an even brighter smile. Going to Russia to play offseason basketball, as the women are extremely underpaid, especially when compared to the NBA, she was caught up in a world political situation, chewed up by the politics of nations.

Arrested on a trumped-up charge, convicted of "drug" smuggling - cannabis oil legal in the USA, prescribed by a doctor - locked up in a cramped cell with no shared language, for about 170 days. Almost six months. Placed on show, handcuffed, pulled along by guards holding her handcuffed arms, like an animal, she pled guilty, apologized, all on advice of counsel, and pleaded with the court to not "end her life". Then they went ahead and did just that and worsened it all by sentencing her to nine years in a penal camp, a surviving gulag remnant far away, possibly Siberia, with very little contact available with friends, lawyers, hope! The place is inhumane, harsh, certainly morally illegal in its inhumane treatment of poor souls condemned to die, hard, for there is very little hope of survival, particularly in this case.

Putin is angry with the world, especially America. We organized a defense of sorts, though inadequate, for Ukraine, being destroyed by the invading Russian forces along with mercenaries in the pay of Russia. They needed an advantage point, a puppet to force concessions out of America, to humiliate it in its powerlessness, and caught there in that net is Brittney. Caught there through politics, a dirty game indeed.

Not feeling the rage, the roaring in your head at the manifest bloody unfairness of it all? Tsk, tsk and on you move to the sale pages of the papers or the treasure chest of Amazon? Now put it down, shut the app and turn to recent photos of Brittney. Caged, handcuffed, pulled along like a dangerous critter, locked in cages all day, driven for two hours each way for days in court, in a confinement too small for her. Look, look long, hard, at her face, her body language. There is a bewilderment of the eyes, a dulling of their natural shine. There is a pale, ashen face, confused, frightened, longing to go home, a face wet with tears as she pleaded with the court - and then they did it all to her anyway, in the harshest manner possible. 

Why? Because she is an American, a dangerous thing to be these days, overwhelmingly so in hostile countries, in lands where the law is a terrible joke, a parody of it, and America is the enemy. To save face, Putin must make sure that America loses face, looks weak, encourages a rogue China to play with fire, and Brittney? 

She is caught up in this and she needs to come home! Now! 

It will cost us. There will be naysayers countering that redemption encourages more of this behavior on the part of outlaw nations and leaders. They will say that the exchange person is a far worse criminal, unfair. Really? Unfair? Get the woman home. Home to her wife, her family, her fans. Get her home is the only thing that matters here.

My heart breaks every time I read of her situation, the loss of hope, the pain of being a pawn, the entirely possible existential threat to life and limb, certainly to any kind of viable life at least for the next nine years. An eternity in the dog eat dog of the Gulag prison camps, the starvation regimen and the impossible work assignments and quotas.

I am finding this situation totally unbearable, and here I sit in the comfort of my own home, no guards threatening me, no hopeless situation, no isolation from friends and family, from friendly caring words. No hope in a dark world. A world gone mad, insane, and Brittney sits there, all alone, hopeless, a pawn of life circumstances that caught up to her through no fault of her own. WE here in this country must make a whole lotta noise, force the powers that be to redeem her and stop playing politics on a deadly level with innocent non players of that game, that deadly game.

WE are all #42 and will remain so until she is home. Until we ban all travel to Russia and other bandit nations who think that an American in their midst is a free pass to anything they want. Deprive them of the victims. Inconvenient for many, but a whole lot better than the situation of Brittney.

My heart is breaking for this woman and her loved ones. I can write my representatives in DC, though most are useless, corrupt, full of bluster with little substance. I can wear a shirt with a slogan to free Brittney. But I cannot be Brittney, even as we all must be so. There but for the grace of G- go you or me or a loved one or a friend or simply any other American caught up in this terrible place, this deadly game. 

What can we do? Keep up the pressure on the government. Making noise is part of the answer, even as Russia says no publicity. Why? It makes them not look so good in the eyes of the world; a world already angry with her. They have made this mess, and now they must clean it up; however, we must be very strong, demand to keep an eye on Brittney so she does not "disappear" from the public eye. Wear the shirts with the slogans, make calls, send emails, form letters, whatever it takes. But GET HER HOME.

The Jewish code of behavior and laws makes the redemption of captives a priority, a must, not a voluntary process, but a mandated one. Jews from one country would raise funds to redeem a captive Jew from another country. Why? Because it is the right thing, the moral thing, the only thing to do.

Let us redeem our American captive. A mitzvah greatly needing success. Let us hurry up about it.

 

CONFUSED CONFUSED CONFUSED

  In case the message has not gotten through, well, I am confused. And despairing. And worried. And pessimistic. And wondering just where the hell my world went. What has happened to cause this strange new world of ours? Wherefore and whence have the rules of society changed and ipso facto, a new world certainly confusing to us old folks. Nor do we like change, so, well, the whole mess is confusing.

Wondering what all the confusion refers to? Simply stated, it is a new philosophy, or rather not so new, but new in our society, when values are turned aside, changed drastically, or simply trashed. No, not the holding of doors for women or getting up from a seat in a crowded bus or train. No, what I refer to is the value chart of life. You know, where there is loyalty to one's country, where we can trust the president and the legislators and the Supreme Court to mostly function properly. Where the interests of the people will be taken into account, that rules will be followed, that certainly, the political leaders will not turn on their country and become yes, traitors! Outright traitors, no matter how far and fast they try to run now in their search for a clock to turn back.

However, one cannot change what was done. All one can do is try to fix it. That requires, upfront and personal, the admission to oneself and the public that oh boy, a huge goof was made. HUGE. Many goofs. That fix, particularly in this case, America circa early 21st century, is a difficult task, almost Sisyphean in categorization, and yet, we must try for if not, we are giving up, giving in to the spoilers in our midst. We are rewarding crooked behavior, allowing the rot and its stench to dominate all.

I believe what has me most confused is the almost total change of order within our most valued and trusted institutions, the ones that we rely on to keep us on an even keel, steering the ship of state into safe waters rather than abandoning it, to founder and sink, even as they transfer to a new ship of state already floundering, already failing in its responsibilities. It left the shipyard already damaged, and the question here is - can we survive with this faulty ship? Can we keep afloat, stable enough to withstand all threats to our nation, or have we already been committed to the depths, and we merely need wait, just a bit, till it all becomes clear, even to the most extreme deniers of reality.

Today, politics has become a blood sport - literally. It appears to me that one's political beliefs are set in stone, feet encased in cement blocks, as we either sink or swim, against all possibilities of survival, and splash around, all for naught. The die is cast. The storm is upon us. The security institutions have turned on their values, cheated, lied, neglected the nation for the one or the few. Flags are used as disguises, to serve, bared in public, as staves of death rather than true pride and patriotism.

The lies rain down upon us, straining the capacity of the ship to remain afloat, even as frantic bailing begins, unfortunately with leaky buckets. I look at the ugly shouting, hate filled, blood lust infected faces of insurrectionists, trying to overthrow my country, negate the efforts of those who have believed in the American dream. And I am afraid. And despairing and confused.

How have we allowed one man do this to us. How and why have we enabled this man to engender a hostile climate, permanently dangerous seas, use fear, temper tirades, and pure dangerous madness. He has turned this country in upon itself, so much so that even if and when we try to land, we will simply cannibalize from within, become dry land sharks.  No ports of safety and haven. No safety anywhere. Not anymore. We have given it away. Lock, stock, and barrel.

Why have we allowed religious extremism to gnaw away at our values of separation of church and state. Why have we turned the pro-choice debate into a debate at all! It is not about pro or anti-abortion. We have allowed it to become so, to be termed so. It is about rights, plain and simple. The right to make decisions for ourselves, the right to have rights. To be equal. To be respected - and that is for men as well as women. The right not to be forced to carry a damaged fetus full term, even if dead in the womb, to endanger a mother, to turn backs and hearts on victims of rape and incest, to ignore the needs of living children, social, emotional, educational, the right to be food secure. The right of a woman to decide her own needs, to control her body and her fate. It is pro rights vs.  anti-rights. Simple - yet so entangled that we have lost sight of the truth.

We have lost much. We have self-damaged. It is now an uphill battle, but we can do it if we remember who we are, who we are meant to be, return to America, the true America, the one whose doors are open to those in need, who are seeking what we ourselves, our ancestors have sought. We can do it, but time is growing short, the ship is falling behind in bailing and there is no help from outside, only within.

 It is up to us to save us.

"Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero.

Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future."

Let us seize the day so we can trust in the future.

Our future.

America's future.

The future for and of our descendants.

EVERY IDIOT HAS HIS DAY

  Though unfortunately too many overstay their often-dubious welcome. To be fair, of late, there seem to be an equal and growing number of women who share the same unpleasant trait. Greene. Boebert. AOC. Any woman voting to block the right to choose. Sinema. Tlaib. Omar. Presley. Guess we have an unfortunate equality there.

However, there are those who apparently, in addition to being annoying are plain brain dead, and any ridicule they receive is on them. For example, witness the plethora of tell all books with their misinterpretations and outright lies trying to wipe the slate of their participation in J6 totally clean. Witness Gaetz, so guilty of other 'imperfections' shall we say. 

The best one hot off the press right now is the one written by Josh Hawley. You know, the dude who ran away, losing his game of chicken, manifesting a great big streak of yellow on his back as he runs from those he just celebrated. Called, and I kid you not, for no one can make this up - "Manhood", a story of his life and how he became a man. Pardon me for that typo. One reader said it all.

"Josh Hawley's book titled 'Manhood,' an autobiography about his struggle to find his manhood after it fell out of his pants while running from the violent mob he'd help incite. A must read!"

A tad off color, but well, there it is anyway. It fits.

Next up is the apparent heir to the filthy mantle of Trump. That is DeSantis, he of opposing mandates, favoring criminal prosecution for anything to do with abortions and open disregard and opposition to federal laws and mandates, going so far as to exhort listeners to simply not obey federal rules they might deem anti their own opinion. A free for all, one never knowing what will happen on the next trip to the pharmacy. Ah, the suspense. Will a Jehovah's Witness be at the drug counter and turn all away due to opposition to medicine and all medical aid. Can we buy our kid a pastry at the bakery or be denied that privilege because we are a same sex marriage. 

Will all moral state attorneys be fired, possibly prosecuted, for refusing to follow the legal though immoral and definitely misogynistic law banning abortions. Seems to me that this clash of morality and legality was rampant in Nazi Germany, with judges "following the law, the orders" and is blatantly present in Putin's Russia, as so many are unfairly prosecuted for the real crime of opposition to him or as pawns, as poor Brittany Griner - sentenced to nine years -has become. My heart breaks for her. Those dead eyes. The uncomprehending face. The hopelessness in posture. My G-d, what have we allowed?

Those idiots who have overstayed their welcome are now trying to leave the resort. Graham is trying to avoid all responsibility in the Georgia mess. But his own words betray him. The same case with so many White House personnel of the Trump regime. Manifestly, Trump, the fault riddled corrupt self-anointed Leader, is one who has overstayed, for far too long. This man now has even been condemned by those seeking to save their own skins, and by people who know the truth, who are delving, spelunking, in the dark caves of his regime, investigating, and revealing the dark truths of a very dark time for this country. Even as there are those who are striving hard, succeeding in too many of their efforts, to corrupt the next election before it takes place. Primaries of various states are sending mixed messages. Some of these messages getting through do not augur well for 2024 and the peaceful transfer of power. 

Among the many who came and never left, certainly, Trump, is the instigator, the original spark that lit the fire consuming our nation. He took all the grievances, multiplied, lied, lied again, yet again, and is now continuing to threaten our very way of life. Democracy will become the latest form of government deposited on the trash heap of history.  Not good. To say the least. While I think the world of Liz Cheney, her father is another story. Yet his words sum up the situation well. We had better read and understand his brief sentence in all implications and threats. No unfortunate promises and guarantees for a most unpleasant future unless we throw those unwelcome, overstaying visitors out the door.

 "In our nation’s 246 year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump,"

"MAJOR" ANNOUNCEMENT- SHARKS, MAYBE?

  So we are told. DeSantis is to make a "major" announcement this morning, such a wonderful way in which to start the day! Take your choice - Pulling out of the governor's race to run for President? Quitting politics forever - greatly to be wished! Or perhaps yet another insane, fascistic order re COVID, education, parenting, LGBTQ+, bedroom behavior of all, further encroachment on women's rights, whatever tickles his twisted fancy at the moment. Whatever it is, one thing is for sure. This man is a danger to be watched. More so even than Trump, as he has taken that man's crazed behavior and ambitions and gone further, able to do so because he actually has a functioning brain, albeit championing poisonous theories and ideas totally inimical to democracy. 

Speaking of DeSantis and Florida, we have a dangerous thing going on here. A spate of sharks in shallow waters, chewing on people, no particular taste being noted, just any random human. Frightening, in more ways than one and I will not allow my visitors coming down to enter the waters off the shore. Too damned dangerous. However, worse than that is the realization that we also have sharks on dry land, even in the middle of the country where there is not even access to ocean waters. Nope, our dry land sharks actually walk on two legs, standing upright even as they are for sure, not very upright themselves.

Imagine the head honcho of sharks organizing a raiding party on humans, having it on good authority that there will be a delicious feast awaiting them at point of attack. All the sharks join in, other than a few who opt out, perhaps endowed with a greater survival instinct than others. Tragedy ensues as humans are beaten, brutally, even fatally, sacrosanct places of haven are violated, and things will never be the same, even as the sharks retreated. 

The question before us now is - do we go after that head honcho who remained behind, due to several circumstances, or do we fish only among the smaller sharks, for fear of enraging those who continue to support his faction among the sharks, and even humans who distressingly, self destructively, maintain that the sharks had every right to attack the humans. Should the authorities go after the head honcho, well, watch out for the violence to follow. Their solution? Just leave the dude alone, punish the small, even the medium weight sharks, satisfy those who want consequences, while pleasing those who wish it would all go away. Now.

Win/win? Win/lose? Lose/lose? Pundits have come down on all the choices available, some going to the extreme of "forgive and forget'. Well, decisions must be made and while I have received no calls or texts asking for my opinion, I will tender it anyway. My blog, right?

If we continue to fish only among shallow waters the fear, the concern, the need to ensure non repetition of J6 will not be met. Though in shallow waters, no great whites, the sharks here have sharp teeth and powerful jaws, with mighty, inborn instincts to eat and eat and eat. Angry that the head honchos will escape consequences, their anger will be channeled into wrong channels, for sure, and the situation will worsen. Certainly, a lose/lose situation, and the madman gets away with it all, again.

I firmly believe that we must act. We must proceed on the basis of the punishment fit the crime. True, no President before has ever turned traitor to the nation, but there is always a first. A first cannot frighten us away. We must blaze a new, meaningful trail for the future, a blueprint, an encouragement to have firm heart and head in defending this nation. No other administration has ever wholesale bought into such plans, even as they now claim that their efforts to control the uncontrollable were successful to a degree. The wakes they leave behind as they abandon ship are amazing and so, so many.

The only manner in which to achieve a win/win situation is to proceed with justice, air all the filth, clean out the amazing rot that has eaten away at the core of this nation, and then stretch out a hand to those who paid their dues, know the truth of their errors, and welcome them back as Americans. However, that is for the herd, those unthinking, as they melded into a mob, those who sought out trouble for trouble's sake alone.

However, for those who turned traitors par excellence, who planned the whole shebang knowing the goal in mind, well, for them, no outstretched hands. Their punishment must be severe. Traitors. Guilty of sedition. Of incitement to murder. Planners and accessories, before and after.  Renegades of a degree such as we have never seen before, certainly not in this country. No, their due dates have come and payment due. They must learn that no one - no one - is above the law. No one can claim political office as excuse from any prosecution for crimes committed. No, that is the killer of parents asking for sympathy as an orphan. Nope, does not work that way.

So, whatever announcement DeSantis is to make this morning, there is no joy in Mudville. His statements are meant to shock, to incite anger, rev up the temperature already too high, and of course beneficial to him and his followers. All I foresee this morning is the appearance of yet another shark or two or several, hunting us down. I just wish we could shoo them all back to deep waters where they will have no easy access to satisfy their appetites via consumption of humans.

I fear these human sharks. I despise them. They must be opposed. Always and forever. Even if we get bitten a time or two in that opposition. 

MAYBE, MAYBE, MAYBE

  And then again maybe not. The Chantels' iconic hit, Maybe, is the showboat of "if" reasoning, taking the situation as is, backwards analyze what might have gone wrong and maybe, maybe, maybe, change the state of being. Maybe, if she does this, or maybe, if she does that, maybe, maybe, maybe. However, in much of our 'maybe' thinking, we forget the other side of the coin. Maybe not. Maybe there is no changing things. Maybe we are totally lost in whatever situation we are in. Maybe there is not always a road back or a path to right wrongs, change things around so as to make a positive change in the status quo. Making a negative turn - that seems never to have any opposition out there, always someone who has that state of mind. Or lack of mind. Maybe.

So, maybe the spot-on assassination of Zawahiri was important. Evidently, the world had to hear that the USA will get ya' no matter how long it takes. Maybe. Definitely, the man needed to face his just dues, but maybe, in the longer run it is truly not as important as we think. The present of yesterday is now the past and what has been changed by that event? Maybe, it will cause some future terrorist to halt and ask if he truly wants to live with backwards looks for the rest of his life, and maybe not. No one thinks the bad will ever happen to them, or they will never be called to account for their crimes. 

You know the scene in a western where the horse of the hero gives a great big shudder, shakes his head forcefully, and off rides the hero, inspired by the encouragement of his best friend, his horse. Not quite sure if we can safely compare this country to a horse, though it is unfortunately true many of us have been acting as if we were the horse's rear end! In fact, many, too many, have been getting daily, myriad concussions every time they sat for certainly, they were not thinking with their heads!

Certainly, when the news reports on yet another moronic, trouble making statement of an obviously unbalanced man, giving more airtime to his outrageous lies, we are maybe taking another step toward doom. Maybe, but how else can we think when logic and truth have almost disappeared within the realm of politics, worse than ever. A former President, while in office, actually coming close, ever closer, to being charged with sedition, with treason against the very nation he was to safeguard. He and his enablers, just as guilty, smeared by the same tar brush, were and continue to be a "clear and present danger to this country" and its survival as a democracy.

Charges have been brought against smaller fish, gradually climbing the fish ladder, the stink growing as we near the top, with that damned Cheshire cat grin on the face of that crude and danger enhancing man. Even out of office he continues to spin his ugly web of lies, even as he injects more venom into his captives. That poor woman, whose face, whose eyes, can make you cry, is maligned as "loaded up" with drugs. No, she was most certainly not. Nor is Russia a country which "hates' drugs - not when it supplies them with much needed cash capital, and the 'crooks', when caught and sentenced, run the damned sites of incarceration. So maybe, you can tell me how to get this man to shut his mouth. No one needs to hear his acidic commentary nor smell, hear, and see the third degree burns he is causing to the integrity of our nation's fabric. No maybe here. None. At all.

And the debate continues. Should he be called to answer for his crimes? Maybe. Should he be let go on the basis of possible violent reaction by his MAGA supporters? Maybe. Maybe not. The eternal question and state of mind of every fence sitter, afraid to commit, afraid of what might, maybe, will be, but then again, maybe not. Maybe it is better that we kind of try to ignore him and maybe, he will go away. But thinking of the class cutup making even more noise and disruption to gain that fading attention, sticks in my mind. This man will not go away unless he is made to go away - like by incarceration, in a federal prison and not a country club. Where there will be no more press interviews. No more outrageous statements. No more trouble making and should his backers insist on violence, well, no maybe there either. Return their wishes to them and for once and for all, give them what they desire. Trouble on crack! Finish this for once and for all.

There is no maybe not here. No one NO ONE is above the law. We cannot send a message to all future and present-day criminals that position in society offers one a blanket pardon, immunity, from all consequences of wrongdoing, of lawbreaking, of treason! This cannot be allowed, for then this country will certainly fracture, certainly collapse in upon itself. The immediate aftermath will not be pretty, but then again, neither will the other choice be any different and certainly we need the one which will allow for a future of hope, of achievement, of reality, of facing problems and doing something about them, something good and right, not negative and worse than nothing! Our current status quo.

Maybe we will come to our shared sense, hitch up our pants, tighten the belt, batten down the hatches and do what must be done. Take the cod liver oil like grownups. Realize that sometimes, no maybe here, good costs. Dearly, at times. But if we waver, if we count off, chant, an unending litany of maybe, maybe not, we will not only stagnate but will move backwards, faster and faster until we are out of control, out of hope. We must avoid that. No maybe, maybe not here either.

There are sparks of hope. While unfortunately many GOP candidates who support Trump, who buy into, at least publicly, his outrageous lies, who invoke religion as justification for their most egregious violations of religious ethics, have won places on the ballots, there are also the rejections of some by the electorate. Voters in Kansas have voted not to give the legislature the power to override a state constitutional amendment which states that the right to choose is a right - no maybe not there. Finally! Would that the rest of the nation follows suit. There is too much at stake here.

Maybe. Maybe not. At times one must make a choice, or one will be made for him/her. It is imperative that we make the right choice, no matter the difficulties it might bring, for the alternative is worse. Far, far worse. No maybe yes, maybe no there at all. No siting on that fence. Eventually that seat will hurt us, forcing us to make a hasty decision of the moment, not of thought. Not a good idea at all. Let the Chantels sing, a great song, but our time for singing and delay, for 'if' thinking is over. Time to take a stand. Time to stop looking at both sides, for one side is all we need to move forward. No maybe, maybe not. Only a firm decision to save this country from itself. Legally. Lawfully, fully cognizant of what we are asking of ourselves and for ourselves.

(S I G H)

  Skimming through the news at 3AM is not conducive to anything but a great big sigh. One wonders when the road to hell took a shortcut through the highways and byways of America; moreover, why did so many clamber aboard the vehicles traveling that path, eagerly, full speed ahead, eyes and minds closed to any redemptive activities and thoughts. Wish I knew the answers, for then I would be able to craft a cure-all for the malaise that has infected and infested the very air of the USA.

So I sigh. How many more years will it take to clear the air of the lies that abound, proliferate at a disastrous unstoppable rate. Can we even do that? The rot that has been exposed runs so deeply into the very foundations of the country, rocking it, destabilizing it, perhaps already at the point of no return. 15 states away from a forced convention to Amend the US Constitution, to rewrite it. You read correctly. Now, given the atmosphere of today's politics, just how far away are we truly from a constitution rewrite which will engender a change so drastic, so earth shattering that its effects cannot truly be understood, in ramifications for mankind such as we have not seen since forever. A crashing end to the greatest experiment of mankind. Too awful to contemplate. And yet, here we are. Steps away from undoing the "shot heard round the world".  Sigh.

I am tired. I despair. I am angry. So are many people. Can we harness this anger, to fight the evil that is nigh upon us? How do we undo the decades long plans of extremist GOP members who eagerly bought into the long-term plan to reshape this country, to undermine the judiciary, to turn its impartiality into a massive partisan entity? To subvert members of the highest branch of the legislative framework, down to the smallest town council. Most unsettling, how the hell did we ever allow a mad character, open to any and everything, even treason, to become President and change this country perhaps forever. Not in a good way at all. S  I  G  H

 There are some good, brave people out there who are willing to take up the battle, to face down the enemy. Are there enough? Is there enough staying power, realistic ability to change the ever-worsening reality we face? Can they maintain the fight, the struggle, against this most despair inducing situation in the face of such a massive, well planned and plotted coup? And yes, coup it was. And is. And will be. Unless and until we put an end to it all. 

Still, there remains certain niggling factors in my mind. How is it, that despite the fact that there are two GOP members on the J6 committee, there are still lockstep votes wherein the entire GOP body votes lockstep - and that must include these two. So, in the face of their bravery, their strong statements at the hearing sessions, at news events, where are their anti-votes to the obstructive and destructive policies of present-day GOP? Where?

Double SIGH.

We killed Zawahari. 21 years after the facts. Great, but what does it matter in the long run? What does it matter in light of the issue we now face - the very survival of this country, indeed, of this world?

Maybe we should all be able to close off segments of our mind and wax eloquent, victoriously, over the success in renting a full day cabana at a Disney water park for the mere sum of $365. After waiting three hours on the phone to do so. And not to include the huge cost of entry into the park so they could actually reach their cabana!

My head is shaking of its own volition. I hear a background continuous sound and finally realize that is the sound of a continuous sigh, one heard round the world by all thinking, concerned, democracy supporters. That, in and of itself, is sigh inducing.

sighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsighsigh

SIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGHSIGH

SIGH

REPAIR OR DEMOLISH

 Those are the words on a notice given to those who have moronically, selfishly, endangered the integrity of an entire building via their unlicensed, unthinking, uncaring behavior. Unfortunately, this behavior, this selfish attitude seems to be a growing problem within the Village. Apparently, we also have the delinquent unit owner, generally, though not always, an absentee owner and/or an owner of multiple units, in one or several buildings, who has either found himself under water, or just doesn't get it, does not understand or want to understand the responsibilities of the individual to the Association.

It seems to me that the warning on the red tag goes much further than the Village. Increasingly, we see a red tag of sorts, literal or figurative, growing in numbers and severity. Not to buildings per se, but rather, or also, to the 'buildings' which hold up this country, which keep it standing and safe. More and more of our institutions are falling by the wayside, eaten by rot from within, by those serving the wishes and needs of individuals rather than that of the nation. Tis indeed a great pity, for once there is rot at the roots and disseminated throughout, there is no repairing.  Patchwork is a guaranteed failure in time. So what is the answer? Beats the hell out of me. I fear that we have run out of answers, at least simple ones, the situation now demanding heavy handed methodology unpleasant but necessary.

To this situation we can add several pithy phrases which taken together delineate the pretty crappy situation, no, make that plural, in which we have so thoroughly enmeshed ourselves. Today we read of the "toilet tree", growing out of a toilet bowl, an invader par excellence, guaranteed to literally bite us in the posterior, a sneak attack, which is not really so. I mean, surely, you gotta' see the tree before it reaches top of the bowl! Seemingly not so, and that toilet tree threat is comparable to the trees growing in the wrong places in life in general, trees biting us in our collective rears because we simply have not paid attention or ignored, denied what we did see. Easier in the short run but oh so bad for the long run. Feel those bites, those deep scratches.

"Get out of the water." Heard more frequently, lifeguards and beachgoers scream to the swimmers and waders, as those definitely frightening fins make their way closer to the food source - uh, that would be us. The background thrum - "do do do do" remind us that Jaws, our not so friendly white shark and relatives are waiting not out there so much as right here, in the shallows, where we 'think' we are safe. Uh-uh. Think again. And while you are thinking, try to understand why this has become a growing problem, with severity and consequences far greater than we had thought possible. 

We clambered into those waters, attacked the waves, the forces of Nature, challenged Mother Nature, ignored the warning signs, and well, we all remember those Parkay ads, the iconic line - "Not nice to fool Mother Nature". The power of the wrath of a woman scorned. Even so we ignored it all. We piled in, tampered with the natural flow of rivers, the rhythms of Nature, are almost out of water, out of land, out of time, way, way over our heads in deep and dark waters. At the commissioning of a ship, the Commander said, "You either fight and win, or you swim". How right he is. We are now swimming. For our very lives. Too late, way too late, to get out of the water.

Swimming will not be enough. We have tainted dry land as well. We have paved over life giving tracts, swaths of land. We have been brutal in our attacks on the very air we breathe, kinda' important in life, ya' think! We have moved into spheres we were not meant to be, so up close and personal. We now find deer and bears in our yards, looking into our windows, seeking the human and its detritus. We have gained entry into the abode of animal borne diseases to a degree such as never been seen before. Diseases once limited to a certain country, or able to be controlled, have blossomed and bloomed thanks to our manifestly stupid behavior.

Thoughtlessly, we invaded and now the invaded are fighting back. They are increasingly entering our world, once sacrosanct for the most part, but no longer. They eat us, attack us, challenge us, defend their homes and territory, bare their teeth at us, refusing any longer to lower their heads and eyes before us. Humans are no longer seen as superior; they can be destroyed. We certainly can. Heck, we are doing a bang-up job ourselves!

Monkeypox is now a common term. Is it too late to counter that? Quite possibly yes, and more of the like will be coming down the pike right to our doors. We opened those doors, invited them in, left them doggie doors into our world. So why then do we wonder just how this happened? We know the answer and playing dumb is certainly counterproductive. One pandemic after another, morphing into an endemic rotten situation!

Jim Jordan, the human skunk, tells us the GOP should not, will not, cooperate with the Democrats on anything. Such a responsible remark! Of course. Why take care of our vets grievously sickened by burn pits? He's got his lifetime care so screw others. Manchin now crows over a bill he sneak attacked before and forgets his 'cousin' Sinema waiting in the wings. We have major criminal investigations going on, all pointing to their common head honcho, the prior unworthy resident, of the Oval Office and his rats now deserting the ship even as they all write their memoirs. Screw them!

Our personal liberties and rights are being stolen away from us, by our own Supreme Court Justices! Six Catholics imposing religious viewpoints upon us all, passing judgement on and condemning, even criminalizing lifestyles not their own. We question ourselves if this whole mess is either incompetence or nefarious - and why not both!?

The governor of Kentucky mourns his dead and missing, those who have lost everything. He warns that "We're going to be finding bodies for weeks." The family of a young pilot who inexplicably walked off the plane in midair, says, "We'll figure it out, I suppose." 

Unfortunately, we are going to be finding more and more bodies in our increasingly challenged world, becoming more perilous every day. From animas doing what animals do, to humans who act as if they are the animals, depriving all else of the right to live, to be other than what they are, be it Russia and Ukraine or bigots and incompetents, mentally and morally challenged individuals - certainly we will find more bodies. Will we figure it all out, in time with doable answers?

Sink or swim, I guess. Anybody's guess. but watch out for those sharks - human and not.

EVEN MORE STUPID

  Why does it take so long for people to understand how stupid they are, how unbelievably dumb are the utterances they so generously share with the world at large? How much better and useful it would be if they kept their hot air within, contributing to the sought-after cooling of the planet. A positive contribution to mankind; such a pleasant change that would make.

I wonder if perhaps we need to remind all concerned that the wise person holds his thoughts and counsel until asked, or when it is vital. Watching the words that pour endlessly direct from unthinking brains would be a good start. Next would come a lessening of ridiculous, yet dangerous actions that derive from these words. A simple start - just tell the truth. It is so much easier to do that then remember all the lies told and the inevitable result of conflicting lies. Be open in government, for the truth will always out. Example - J6 Committee.

Perhaps we need to approach these nonthinkers with the old tradition of boiling down major catastrophes into children's songs and games, all the better for challenged brains to remember - and maybe, just maybe, learn a lesson and seek positive change, install better controls. Ring Around the Rosie. London Bridge. The Farmer in the Dell. We all so merrily sing and dance with our little ones, all the while these songs catalog great tragedies of historic proportion. Just think how we can so enrich our store of little ditties for our little ones - and for those with few functioning cognitive brain cells.

How clever does one have to be to understand that no, it is not a good idea to suggest the elimination of the Department of Education any more than it is sane to suggest defunding police. Just think if this were to take place. So, teach the kids whatever you want, whatever twisted version of history you prefer, whatever version of hatred appeals to you, and trash science, way too inconvenient. And, of course, teach strict obedience to the powers that be, generally men, of course, and ladies, not to forget the mandated manner of dress. 

As for the police, no, sorry, the general population will not certainly and suddenly morph into upright citizens, no criminals at all. The leaders will not choose the straight and narrow simply because it is the right thing to do. From the beginning of man's appearance on this planet a police force was necessary. Not to have an official one will simply invite the emergence of private forces with no controls over them, freewheeling, never to have their misbehavior examined, punished and amended. Such a most brilliant suggestion indeed!!

How about we next check on the 'legacy' which we are supposed to leave for those who follow us. Think about the wonderful legacies of the day, and are these idiots actually cognizant of their actual, real, legacies? The shame they should feel? Guess not, for otherwise they would think again and again and censor their moronic, yet oh so perilous legacies. Would they spare us these legacies!

Here are a few of the many poorly thought-out legacy providers to be found in DC and in local areas. Susan Collins who cannot make up her mind as to the right thing to do, Tit for tat, so a climate bill negates a veteran's bill! Never mind the fact that this manifestly challenged, corrupted group is supposed to be working FOR the people and a better future, not play power games. Not to forget those gracious role models - McCarthy of faulty memory, cannot remember a single thing from his experiences and words on J6. Or Matt Goetz who cannot stay out of trouble, tampers with a witness. DeSantis instructs Floridians to defy the federal government. Or Greene, the nasty Nationalist Christian who is most definitely unchristian. Not to forget our wonderful so impartial six Justices of the Supreme Court. Or the fools who give Trump $1 to watch a golf game sponsored by the Saudis, one stating he “can deal with” the Saudi Arabia “thing,” but if it was “China or something like that, no way. I wouldn’t be here."  Sure, never you mind Khashoggi, 9/11, brutal treatment of women, capital punishment for LGBTQ+, nah, never mind that. It would be different with China. Same difference theory?

And, of course, my favorite bit of suicidal behavior right here in our own neighborhood. We have leaders, politicians, businessmen who think they can get away with what they are doing. It seems they are correct. Dumb wins again. Every single piece of empty space is being clear-cut, concreted over, business condos, housing developments, jammed roads, the water insufficient, increased damage costs after climate change natural events - ah, never mind. Taxes. Rebates to the rich. Oxygen? Climate warming? Fuhgeddaboudit.

The best statement and a suggestion I have heard to date - along with an addendum. 

Kinzinger warns us that it is guaranteed that someone will try this again - and the implication is clear. The deeply entrenched rot in every level of government, the manifest disloyalty, even treason by officials and duped followers - either we do what we must or well, we all know about history and repetition.

The suggestion, a beautiful one at that, long overdue -" ...  how about this for an idea? We put Trump in jail and then trade him to Russia for Brittney Griner,” 

 Now, if only we can add a few people to that trade ........

"YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID"

  An adage of long life, it has never been more appropriate than now. The term 'stupid' here is not a judgement call on those with a lesser level of cognitive ability. What it does refer to is when someone has the capability, but certainly does not exhibit the ability to use it. That is 'stupid'. The term is used in this month's Reporter by a VP who has rightfully lost patience with those who refuse to obey the laws, endanger the structural integrity of the building in which they reside, place fellow residents in literal existential danger, risk the financial integrity of their association and pull down the reputation of our piece of heaven on earth.

However, it does not help the situation any when meeting after meeting of committees are canceled.  events and meetings. This leaves the community in darkness and confusion as rumors abound re the issues facing us. This certainly does not help matters at all. Nor should we place the entire burden on the shoulders of one man who works from predawn hours into the night, availability unquestioned, at events of concern to the Village at large, on top of it all.

 Perhaps good things are going on in the office of UCO, but how do we know that? Speak up. Tell us what is happening via facts, not rumors. Let the refusal to kowtow to the power of the new owners of the golf course be celebrated. Just what is going on re the Medical Building? Be specific. What is happening with Anshei Shalom, another area of concern? How can we truly clamp down on illegal, dangerous renovators of units without care and concern for others? The more facts we know the more secure we are in our lives and planning. In other words, do not expect us to fix that 'stupid' conduct of UCO unless we get aid from within, unless we get new blood, unless we get the majority of the Village to buy into what must be done. To do otherwise, well, "you can't fix stupid". Nor can one avoid the pitfalls along this 'stupid' road.

The Village has much brain power and experience to draw upon. Reach out, actively, to the possessors of what we need. Do not just whine, but be proactive, call them, invite them in for a get to know you chat, guilt or flatter the person into helping us to run a great place to live. As it used to be, as it can be once again. And remember, no personal feelings here, no making 'sure' that this, person, will be a "yes, sir" ally rather than one who questions, who challenges, forcing debate and revision as needed. This exclusionary policy, unspoken, but there, has been in use for far too long in UCO.

Certainly, anther manifestly stupid thing going on here is the hostility, clearly apparent, between WPRF and UCO. Instead of recognizing the mutuality of needs, they focus on their 100% demands. No compromise, only antagonism, a sure case of lose-lose. Keep the Village financially solvent and lessen some of the negative behavior and unreasonable demands of WPRF and Benenson, and all will benefit. Financial catastrophe will not serve either side. 

Stupid is what is taking place outside our gates on every level of government. We must ensure that we do not emulate them, destroying ourselves in the process. 'Stupid' are those who refuse to listen, refuse to think, refuse to compromise, refuse to move forward in a positive manner, on a good path to tread. Without a change, well, it will be bad for all. The sooner understood, the quicker we will restore sanity and balance here in a state besieged by its own 'stupid' powers that be.

Perhaps, maybe perhaps, we can prove the title incorrect. Perhaps 'stupid' can be fixed. Why not be a role model for that thought and the behavior needed to achieve that. Let us just be clever, smart, brilliant even. For once? Why not? Let us all stop kicking ourselves in our own posteriors.

OOPS!

  Cannot believe it! Maybe it is a sign of another miracle - me winning the billion-dollar giveaway! Oh, the dreams, oh, the good it can do. Hey, someone has to win, right? Optimism reigns supreme in the household; we even sprung $20 for tickets. A waste of money, but a dream is worth it, correct? But not crazy, throwing good money after bad. Anyway, here's hoping. But to keep a dream alive for little cost - well worth it.

Okay, so what was the first miracle, the one inducing hope for the second? I  slept  through  the  night! No, no typos. Simply a way of expressing the joy and the shock. I have not done that since so many years ago that there is no memory of the last time it ever happened.

Pills, jet lag, behavior change, extreme fatigue, but there I was, somewhere between 1-3, waking up and that was the end of sleep. You cannot believe the difference it makes sleeping to 6! However, now I feel I lost half a day, and this late blog is one of the items affected; no time to read, to think, to mull over, just simply to get out there and type. It works, but well, why worry, for I doubt it will ever happen again. 

I appreciate the feeling, the unknown quality of actually feeling energized by a good night's sleep. No looking that gift horse in the mouth - only appreciation to the god of sleep.

 I do apologize for the late non thinking but appreciative posting. Thank you for your patience and "tomorrow, and tomorrow", well, thank you Shakespeare for that, but also thanks for "To sleep, perchance to dream"- and perchance the win comes through!

Ever the eternal optimist. Well, not always but that is for another day.

AMERICA, AMERICA

  Apparently not the country paved with streets of gold- for me anyway, as I unfortunately did not have the winning numbers for yesterday's gazillion dollars lottery. Such a shock! All my plans, right down the tube. Oh, well, there's always the next one. Dreams do not die here in America. So our ancestors who immigrated here have been told. And we believed. In that belief we strove mightily to build that dream. Brick by brick. For the country and for us.

Well, apparently somewhere along the line our dreams became nightmares. We began to think otherwise, to believe that the golden roads, the Goldeneh Medina, was meant only for some, certainly not for all, particularly for the chosen victim of the moment, the flavor of the week in the kingdom of the haters. Worse, we validated that concept and too many of us have chosen to forego the dream and even buy into the nightmare.

America, America.

Granted, the inspiration for this posting grew out of a late viewing of The Capitol Fourth, an annual celebration of the country's birthday. Crowds gather at major DC iconic monuments and places. Considering what had taken place at the Capitol only a few months prior, I wondered. I truly did. I watched it through, singing along to the songs I knew, or hummed, when words escaped me.

 I remarked at the songs, the Army's theme song, the patriotic ones, praising the country, imploring that we remember the vision it was built upon. All the hard work and sacrifices made in its name; the prayers sent skyward for it. Above all else, always, the pleas and songs to encourage love, help others.  Rather than confront each other in violence we must remember we are all Americans. Not red or blue or purple, but red, white and blue, no matter the color of the skin, the language spoken at home, or the country of origin, or the manner of prayer, the name of the deity, or not. The key to regaining and maintaining our beloved country was to remember that above all is the fact that we are all Americans.

Cynically, I commented. Prayerfully, I hoped. Naively, I believe- current tense - even with all that has come upon us - that we can return to our roots, rebuild, restore this beleaguered nation of ours, return to a time when we stood tall, where we did not buy into damaged beings nor distorted beliefs. We strove to do the right thing, picked ourselves up when we strayed or fell, to correct errors rather than enforce them. The vision of that golden land.

America, America.

The words ask G-d to shed His grace upon us. Would that He would shed that grace into the hearts of the benighted, the disillusioned, those seeking to hurt rather than help, or twist this country into what it most definitely was not meant to be.

America, America.

I shed my tears, lose confidence of it ever happening, when I read of a man who should never have been president, a man with lifelong alleged and proven criminal tendencies, cruelty deep within his very soul. A man who rants openly, at a rally for him and his posited future run again; for funding the establishment of a most horrendous vision, to G-d forbid return him to office. Brazen enough to say this out loud, what the hell does he say in private? And who has caused this current state of affairs in this country!

“and be tough and be nasty and be mean if we have to.” ...There is no longer respect for the law, and there certainly is no order. Our country is now a cesspool of crime,” 

And why, why, why, are there those who enabled and continue to enable him to inflict himself and his troubling words and deeds upon us, the same enablers who knew the 25th Amendment was a realistic possibility, even necessary. Yet on they went, and on they continue, tell all books notwithstanding, as they continue to see their selfish version of a future - a distorted dystopian vision of a tortured country, seeing with him their paths to wealth and power. For themselves. Screw the rest of America.

One song sung near to the Capitol, the site of a shocking revolution, had these words for us.

And if we do not reach Heaven, we will walk together in Hell.

WE have allowed our slice of a potential Heaven to turn, to devolve into that Hell, the one we can conquer, overcome, make our way towards that path toa most blessed country, a place of heaven on earth, a path to a positive, successful Camelot invigorated with the enthusiasm of a JFK era rather than the evil, dark, skewed one of DJT.

America. America.

G-d shed His Grace on thee (and)

Crown thy good with brotherhood,

From sea to shining sea.

AND SO, SELF ...

 "These are the times that try men's souls," for sure. No doubt about it. However, along with the political and philosophical situations of angst, rightfully so, we often forget to factor in assessments and reassessments of our personal world. We each and every one of us have at least two sides - public and private persona. In addition, whether we admit to it or not, we have a third, that of our inner persona, the truth as we admit it to ourselves - or deny it.

As I sit here in the middle of the night, I decided it was a good time to take stock, to assess that third persona. Am I satisfied, uneasy, terrified, calm and accepting or swinging to the last, or a mix of all above and more? 

Thinking back, I believe the last time I took stock in a deep conversation with self, was somewhere around late 2017 or early 2018. Too lazy to check on exact date; it really does not matter. What does is the state I was in. Despite knowing that I had Parkinson's for many years already, having the doctors finally wake up and concur was another thing entirely. Deep within my heart, against all reasoning, there was that little spark of hope and denial. How could I have PD? If so, why hadn't the doctors recognized that long ago? What had the wasted time of addressing it meant for the future, for me and my family? How, most important, would the PD develop, what would it do to me, physically and cognitively? The questions and concerns ate away at me, becoming far more important than other issues.

As awful it was, and trust me, the official confirmation hit me like a ton of steel directly upon my head. My entire being was consumed with fear, with anger, with despair. Frankly, if that proverbial bolt of lightning had hit me at that time, it would have been okay. I cried out that I wanted to die. Now. Then and there.

 Thankfully, there was a good, no, great, support system around me. Not for physical aid, not necessary then at all, my third persona desperately needed emotional aid, support, and reassurance that I was still loved, valued, my role as member of the family unchanged. I could still be me, the me that I always was, whether it appealed to others or not! That support helped greatly as it allowed me to wallow in self-pity even as that swamp was gradually drained dry with that support and encouragement. 

Family is not enough though. There is a component to be added - that of strangers whom you grow to trust, to care for you, to push you and meet your needs without the emotional factors of children to parent, husband to wife, whatever the familial relationship was. Along with that was the 'shame', yes, shame, the hidden diagnosis. It was like cancer of old, the whispering, the reluctance to say the word, the self-blame, as if I could have prevented it. The self-examination - for what had I done so bad that I deserved this awful thing.

Here, I was very lucky. My doctor was and is amazing. Taking the time to sit with me, to deal with the immediate results, the sobbing, despairing woman, the husband beside her not knowing what to do, feeling hopeless to help, to prevent, to cure, so anxious to do so. I continue to benefit from this connection. This trust of doctor is most important. Trust me on that. I hate feeling reliant on somebody else, but one must be able to ask questions, to trust answers, to know that your doctor is proactive, up on research, to be there for you, to comfort and kick your ass. Whatever is needed. This is my doctor.

Additionally, one must address the treatment necessary in order to maintain oneself the best one can for as long as possible. I could deal with cognitive efforts, even as somehow new brain cells seemed to sprout. There I was with new interests and actually growing skill in woodworking, in painting!, in jigsaw puzzles - me whose kids' puzzles had defeated me! I did my crosswords, read books and papers, yelled at the idiots creating our existential mess of a country, so no. I monitor myself like a hawk there, need to know that each time I search for a word I am no different than any other person my age.

But the physical - what do I do about that? My doctor recommended me to a wonderful place set up to work with people with a neuro degenerative disorder. They treat other issues as well, but this was their specialty. My wonderful therapist who had kept me together since 2003 sent me there as well, despite my coming to her in the first place.  There I met a wonderful group of people, mainly 'kids' as I call them. I was not a 'patient', addressed and treated as such, but rather a person whom they cared about, could help, could encourage, could push as needed and related to the person as a valuable addition to their lives, personally and professionally. As time rolled on by, the first one I met, who literally put me together that first visit, who continues to do so when she returns, as therapists changed as their life situations changed, all of them were and are wonderful. 

In this place I work hard but laugh just as hard. There is a camaraderie between therapists and clients - not patients. It is a place of hope and invigoration, not a place of despair and hopelessness. Where else could I find likeminded individuals with whom I can discuss the various aspects of different sneaker brands even as I balance and do some unheard-of physical feat!! That is the key to the therapy's success. The smooth melding of physical and emotional aid and stability, the love and friendship and the worth of a place of hard, hard work. Here I can reach to achieve, and I do.

Thus, in retrospect, at this hour in the morning, I am content with myself. Yes, there are moments, cannot deny that, but there are fewer of them than at the beginning, even as some outward symptoms progress. For those of you who are reading this after or with a clinical diagnosis of PD, there is hope, there is concern, there is research. It is not a death sentence, nor a life turned useless. Not at all, and, in fact, far from it. One prioritizes differently. Life can be both a challenge and a source of growth and inspiration.

Hang in there! Despite the morons at the steering levels of government, local and national, we can have a good life. Despair at the harm they are doing to our nation, but do not despair in your personal life with PD. In fact, go out there and do something to change the political situation. It is good to have an outside interest rather than to focus and turn inward. And that goes for a person with or without PD. Third, inner, persona of any and all, have the same needs.

 You, with Pd, you are better than this damned thing. Challenge it, fight it, accept the help there for you. Educate others - and yourself. 

Live. Enjoy.

HELLOOOOO!! ANYBODY HOME?

  Apparently not. We can ask a partner question, "what were you thinking? Or were you thinking at all?" Again, apparently not. Certainly not for a long time, and now that the results are becoming all too disgracefully, dangerously clear, well, there is a third question. What can be done now to put in a fix, one which will allow for some sanity and steps forward rather than backwards? 

Hey, don't look at me. I am just one person, but if all the many one person out there can get together, put aside minor difficulties and differences, examine carefully the road forward, or actually backwards in too many situations, then perhaps, a very small perhaps, we can if not set things totally right, at least an effort can be made and have some impact. Maybe. If anyone is out there, if anyone will answer that 'helloooo' with a resounding, "Yes, I am here."

Recently, we attended a production of "Respect", portraying itself as a history of women from the 1900's through present times, all via music and some narration aided by appropriate visual shots. The audience and cast meshed beautifully. The points were comic, yet serious, the music terrific. However, a huge however, there was a glaring elephant in the theater. This production stopped short of present times. Why? I can only think that it was done to avoid lighting the fires of arguments that now cut deep into the sanity and ability of Americans to have a sane discussion of differences of opinions.

So, the elephant tromped and stomped, in all too noisy a silence. The huge package on that elephant's back, the rights of women, the hard fought for rights, are now going down the tubes (literally, in some cases), along with the inevitable extensions and consequences of these horrible laws now being passed and enacted, and yes, mainly by men. How shocking! To include many who think they are immune, outside the circle of danger. Safe. Well, hate to break it to you, those of you with your head in the sand, - you, too, are going to be wanted by Uncle Sam, at least the nasty Uncle now visiting us, overstaying his welcome.

Think, if you can, of the inevitable roads we are now treading. Indiana says, "no abortion from time of implantation". Putting it bluntly, that means any time a woman of conceivable ability has sex with a man, she is in immediate danger of violating the law, up to and including a charge of homicide. Uh huh. Did not think of that, did you? 

What now? A report every time someone has sexual relations? A pretty journal embossed with all too cute sayings and pictures related to babies? Never mind that the woman is too old for safe pregnancy, or too young, basically a child. Nor will there be a list of resources and mandates to help the now forced to be pregnant female who does not want this pregnancy for oh so many reasons. 

It is a natural human right to have control over one's own body. One who does not have that, is, in essence, a slave. Oh, the provider of the sperm? C'mon, you know the drill. The men simply walk away, smug, smirking at their prowess and manly power. Slavery as the slaveowners pry into one's bedroom, limit the right of travel, to instituting border blockades, to force examinations of women to check re pregnancy. 

Anybody hear the not such sweet sounds of repressive religion dominated countries? With six extremists of Catholic background on the Supreme Court. With legislators from a benighted, twisted segment, a growing one at that, of the GOP, that shouts loud and clear and proud, calling for the GOP to now be renamed as the Christian Nationalist Party. As an American, as a Jew, I shake and shiver. I worry. I fear. And so should every one of us, no matter the religion, or lack of one, a free choice - at least till now. As for the future? See the previous few sentences.

See, it is not 'merely' women. It does not begin and end with them, a standard historical tragic error. Nope, it begins with the awful, murderous, slave owning mentality which allows one person or group to exercise total control over another. It begins small, until 'suddenly' one finds oneself in a totalitarian oppressive, restrictive place, no matter the name called - be it the "Democratic Republic" of whatever, or the "United States" of whatever. Misnomers all.

Back to where we began. The production did not mention the new war we are fighting. The cast did not sing songs yearning for a return to the most recent half century, re the ugliness of the present. The play did not have a picture of Trump in its gallery of rogues, repressors, disrespecters, of women, 'influencers' for too many who thus legitimize a disgusting Neanderthal behavior.

There was much laughter. There were those singing along with iconic songs. There were many faces reflecting inner thoughts as stage topics meshed with their own experiences. And all around there was a deep, loud, silent undercurrent, murmurings of today's horrific, looking worse, situation. Rights gained with much struggle. Rights lost with a swipe of a button and the ink of a pen.

Anybody out there? Lordy, I hope so.

"I AM SPARTACUS"

  I would that it were not so, but there it is. The question before us is whether we all will, of necessity become Spartacus, whether we will have the integrity and strength of character to do so. The primary question, though, should be - why have we reached this point and what does it mean to be Spartacus. Will we actually reach that point? The answer is that yes, we will, and in fact, have been moved against our will well into the dangerous territory of Spartacus.

The iconic movie line, as thousands await crucifixion for participating in a slave rebellion, follows Kirk Douglas stepping up and admitting he is Spartacus. Then down the line, in a bold move, those awaiting execution seal their doom at the same time sealing a moral victory. All with the statement "I am Spartacus".

How analogous is our situation to that of the slaves? Well, currently, though we are slaves to our wages or whatever keeps us afloat, we do have the right to have a private life. With the parameters of safety and law obedience. That is, we did, until the regressive, aggressive, hostile extremists achieved a long-time goal of toppling the independence and neutrality of the Supreme Court and charged full speed ahead into the control and limitation of rights on a personal level. 

Increasingly, we have edged, slowly, then faster, into the realm of slavery, owned by those backwards, life limiting troglodytes on the right, and the benighted fools on the opposite side of the spectrum do not help either. We have enabled this situation, this need to become Spartacus. How?  Either by buying into poisonous views and actions, its principles, if such they can be called, or with apathy and noninterest, lack of understanding of the perilous situation in which we are totally enmeshed at present with a dark future ahead.

I am Spartacus. So should we all. We cannot separate ourselves from the public community. We have learned that bloody lesson time and time again. Obviously, it might have been taught, but was not caught. So yes, we are all Spartacus. 

We are Spartacus when LGBTQ+ are maligned, demonized, pushed back, in a growing snowball of anti-gay legislation such that we will be back soon enough in that oppressive time of the past. Actually, that past is now present, and a posited future - unless we all become Spartacus and force changes to the broken ethos of our nation. Spartacus am I, are you, when your neighbor, your loved one, your friend, yourself are arrested, criminalized, for being gay. Think we, you, are immune to this trend? You are not. This behavior, these manifestly illegal, immoral laws and attitudes are contagious to a degree such that they will rival the worst repressive regimes of history.

Think not being gay will not affect you? Think again as the "criminal", handcuffed and shackled, is led off. Think again if you are - or should be - Spartacus when your personal freedom is limited under specious reasoning that your rights violate someone else's. Hence, your rights are cancelled. No sale at the drugstore as you purchase a morning after pill or simple contraceptives. Walgren's is now facing a boycott for allowing that in their stores. Or when the neighborhood stores refuse to sell to you because you discomfit them, believe differently, and in fact, are visibly different in one unimportant way or another. It does not have to make sense, it just is. And there you are - or were. Cancelled. 

How does one battle against minds which buy into statements of outrageous content.

"Why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions?" Gaetz said. "Nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb."

Goetz being a member of Congress! Still a pig! Are you Spartacus yet? No? Well, how about the movement, already enacted or in process, in some states which limit the right of a woman to travel - ostensibly to obtain an abortion. Follow that trail. Limit a right to travel, to cross state lines? By gender? For a personal right available only in another state? Doomed by gender, by religion, by inner thoughts! Again! And no, you are not immune. Perhaps your journey across state lines to legalize an adoption, a marriage, a purchase of wine for your party, for whatever reason these twisted minds can put in place, legalize. 

Yes, legalize, as we compete for the title in history as the most repressive country ever.  Soon enough, right down the road, speed increasing, are the state border blockades, the questioning as to purpose of travel, to demand "papers'.  United States no more.  Spartacus yet?

To be Spartacus is to ensure that we never again allow a criminal into office. That we prosecute those criminals as enemies of the state, no matter the office they hold. We need to institute a free, quality education which applauds both the diversity and the unity of this country. That we are all Americans, no matter where we or ancestors originated, Americans all.

Where incitement to riot, to overthrow our national government, to invade our state systems to cancel election results at all levels which displease us will be no longer. Where public officials will adhere to their responsibilities, to the vows they made. Where a President will not have the most frightening ability, power to sign an Executive Order such as  this one, signed by Donald Trump, the pride and plan of his enablers now telling all.

 “Creating Schedule F in the Excepted Service,”

“An initial estimate by the Trump official who came up with Schedule F found it could apply to as many as 50,000 federal workers — a fraction of a workforce of more than 2 million, but a segment with a profound role in shaping American life. Trump, in theory, could fire tens of thousands of career government officials with no recourse for appeals. He could replace them with people he believes are more loyal to him and to his ‘America First’ agenda. Even if Trump did not deploy Schedule F to this extent, the very fact that such power exists could create a significant chilling effect on government employees. It would effectively upend the modern civil service, triggering a shock wave across the bureaucracy.”

It remains there, in place to be reactivated should Trump or one of his poisonous ilk gain the Oval Office. We must all become Spartacus. Have the courage of Spartacus, who fought for his right to be a person, recognized as such, living as such, rather than allowing his situation to remain, or deteriorate further.

I am Spartacus. Are you? Do you know your own strength and responsibilities? If you truly do, then becoming Spartacus will be a natural. If we do not 'use it' we will indeed "lose it". 

That process is well on its way.

WE ARE SPARTACUS

"SCAT ALL AROUND"

  The title was inspired by a story of a woman trapped with two broken bones, unable to walk, cell phone unable to work, no sat phone, only a husband who had to leave her and go for help. Seven miles back. Bad enough, but all around her was grizzly scat, a term used for animal poop. Luckily all worked out at story's end, but there are times when they do not. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to America 2022.

Actually, there are people among us, too many, who continue to express belief that we are actually in 2020, with echoes of even earlier times gaining ground. Serious cases of illusionary wishful thinking and a determination to return to toddler days, when the real world would disappear when eyes were closed and reappear when eyes were reopened. Elementary misapprehensions that generally clear up as the toddler grows up. However, today we are surrounded by hordes of people who do not see the scat around, surrounding us, nor their contributions to it. 

They are under the misapprehension that the real world is one they have negated by closing their eyes to the truth, preferring the anti-world, a creation of eyes closed. A preferred world for them, though a world which generates scat, dangerous scat, particularly as we continue to remain in grizzly territory. Time for us to move on, to grow up, all of us, and regain recognition of truth, of proper year and time. 

2020 is over, as is 1873 and a repressive and oppressive misogynistic view. Interpretation of its words as bolstering those viewpoints does not make them so. Unfortunately, there are 'fake' Justices who play dirty political football in grizzly territory, the scat piling up as rights disappear and other rights being chased by the grizzly horde who cheer those Justices on. And the scat in our lives accumulates as the sound of grizzlies approaching grows ever nearer. Ever more threatening to throw the sane ones out of the forest - if they are not eaten.

In the year 1873-2020-2022 contraception is seen as a pathway to avoid abortions by the pro-life movement. Actually, it is rather the opposite as more women will die or undergo life-altering complications. Their power over their own bodies removed, negated, in this most unreal world. There is even a statement in one anti-abortion law which states that "deadly force" can be used to stop an abortion. Oh yes! Pro-life indeed. Yes, in this most unreal, backwards, scat filled world we now live in.

Yet more poop piling up as more and more of the Christian Evangelicals buy into the idea that Christian power, White power is part and parcel of their religion. Not all, but a growing portion and that is most frightening. Particularly as women are 'taught' to be submissive to men. The definition of woman is akin to that of the American Webster dictionary of 1928 which defines a woman as a "womb-man". That is her life. That is her definition. Should she die in childbirth, well that is a "noble act". Thus, the new year - 1873-1928-2020 and a grudging 2022. The growls grow ever louder. Louder. Louder.

In American terms the "magic is over". We are in a different world. A world where the magic of life, its opportunities, its excitements, its realities are denied to women, to children. A view that is anti-life more than anything else. It supports rights removal. Voting rights? Bah, Humbug! Equality of genders? Ha!! LGBTQ+ - are you out of your mind?! No, certainly not in Disney any longer.

The question is haunting us all, those who ascribe to reality, to truth, to acceptance of responsibilities, of keeping one's sworn oath, of loyalty to country, not cult loyalty to a man. We refuse to be "banned forever" from Disney as a fighting family was. We insist that recognition of reality is a priority in life, in our country, in our values. We refuse to be intimidated by scat or grizzlies or their apparent existential threat to us. Nor will we allow the misaligned, wrong believing grizzly fans to push ahead in line, seeking to block our return to Disney. Even as we accept the problems in that world of reality - heat, long lines, a need for patience, the cost, the temptation to just shout out against the imperfections or even buy into them for an advantage it might confer on 'your group' as opposed to 'others'.

There is a fantasy world where all the imperfections of reality are erased, fixed, in a positive manner. Then there is the real world, where even fantasy has issues. But we are not banned to attempt to reach that fantasy world, that Disney world, even as we accept that fantasy is not real. Furthermore, we must clean up the scat, teach some manners, and tame the grizzlies before they chomp us to death, for that will be the fate of our country as we know it, as we wish to improve it should the negative, oppositional, reality denying crowd have their way.