NUMBERS IN LIFE

     Yesterday I tested my husband, a crucial test, which, luckily, he passed with flying colors. The question was simple: did he know what tomorrow was. After a teeny bit of a pause, he answered correctly: it would be the 54th anniversary of our engagement. Yup, men are supposed to remember these things. Upon being pressed further, he also remembered why we had chosen Aug. 23 as the day for that to occur. It was also my parents' anniversary.
      It would have been 79 years today for my parents. Unfortunately they will be celebrating it with the extended family upstairs. But the legacy they left behind remains with us all. In fact, Gerry and I set out almost unconsciously to base our marriage on the example they provided. Put the other first. Listen. Share the moments in life, all moments, good and bad, happy and sad, and be there for each other.
     Marriages face challenges, and many are broken under them. I can remember the challenges my parents faced throughout the years, and yet, always, they were together. From ages 14 and 16 - they were together. At the moments of his death they were together, as my dad died at home, per his request. All through life, they were together.
      So today, as Gerry and I remember those two stupid young kids getting engaged, looking forward to a life together, we also look back and remember the lives of a couple who set the standard, who set a high bar, who cherished loyalty and love, companionship and aid, advice and humor, and always to understand that a disagreement was of momentary importance, but the important things in life were forever.
     I wonder, today, how they would have dealt with this pandemic, this quarantining, this new world of ours. I think they would have faced it together, as they did every other time of crisis in their lives, pre and after marriage. Living through a Depression, where there was often hunger in the home, and certainly very few pennies to pinch together, to times of illness and emergencies, to the needs of their children - always, they were together, working things out, pushing for a solution and accepting what could not be changed or could not revert to what was.
     I think they were - are - our paradigm for our lives now. We need to accept that life is different now. Perhaps never to change back to what was. Hopefully, we will find a vaccine, a safe one, a tested one, and soon, safely soon, but till then, and even after, life will be different. Not the way I would have chosen to spend perhaps the last years of our lives, but on the other hand, knowing that one has to accept change and challenge, we forged forward.
     As a result, on the 54th anniversary of engagement, and on the G-d willing upcoming 53rd anniversary of marriage next month, we are closer than ever.  We have learned a most important life lesson. There are things that will never change and are certainly, we find, not so important, but there are also things that do change. Two become one, even as the individual grows independently as well. Two develop new responses to challenges, encourage each other to try to attempt new activities. And through all this, if one is lucky, if one has the role model par excellence, to follow, then one is blessed.
     So today, as we live a not very exciting life, we will enjoy the day. No sky jumping, no drone controls, no huge celebrations; rather, a day of sharing as we work on research for another project, as we talk of family, as we hold hands and watch TV - maybe a horror movie, for that was one shared liking we had and spoke about as we first dated. And we bless our luck for the life we did share and will continue to share as long as the good Lord allows us. For our children and the dividends, the grandchildren, that source of ever and always unconditional love. And maybe we will have some ice cream for a treat.
      Only one shadow over all this. I never received a proposal! 
So how did we end up here, 54 years after engagement, 53  - almost - years of marriage, of modeling after my parents - and Happy 79th Anniversary to you - but we did! And we are blessed for that.
      So, Gerry, will you pop the question today and what will my answer be? The air is tight with suspense and tension. Will it be alleviated? Only time will tell. Tick tock. Tick tock.