THE OLD LADY IN THE MIRROR

 I try not to look too often in the mirror, but sometimes it happens. Then I either say hi to my mom or stand shocked that the image I see is me! Yup! That is me - the old lady in the mirror. The same exact wrinkle pattern as my mom. Many of the same physical issues, and I can only hope and wish that I also reflect and present at least a modicum of her goodness and love. But anyway, I now have to deal with the almost surreal reality of turning 75.

Yes, I know it is not a big deal and anyone can be oh so wise and state that the former 75 is the present -----(fill in whatever number age works for you.) Full disclosure, there are times that the comparison edges up, rather than down. In any case, my reaching the jubilee age of 75, the diamond year, brings me back to the first revelation I ever had that one can age, and that one can indeed become as old as the adults around you. Was that good or bad? I did not have any opinion, actually no idea how to figure that, as most adults in my life were either neutral or good, soul nourishing adults who watched over me, loved me, and encouraged me to stretch my mind and also be the "tomboy" that I was, loving sports, swimming, and bike  riding as well as reading, and would rather wear a pair of "dungarees" as we called jeans then, than  a dress. In fact, that has not changed a bit, though now my preferred mode of dress is a pair of comfy shorts, preferably a good length, with pockets, topped by a bright colored t-shirt, loose and nonrestrictive. Just about the way I see life.

The first time I can recall being aware of the aging process other than turning the next age, as from 3 to 4 or 6 to 7, was the moment we read The Weekly Reader, a wonderful presentation of the news of the world, its advances and issues, all in second grade compatibility. Must have been the first step in my passion for knowing things, for learning, and or being aware that there was, in fact, another huge world out there quite different from mine. A world which was a bit scary for a 7 year old, but also exciting, with all its possibilities as I grew up and became an adult. (Actually, there are times I wonder if I will ever be 100% adult.) 

In any case, the Reader that week presented the idea of a new century, my first introduction to timespans measured in more than days, weeks, months and seasons. At the turn of the century, I would be 52! And I freaked out! How could, would I ever be that old? Guess age is relative. What would I be like at that advanced, elderly age? Would I be married, have children? What would be my chosen career? Would I be successful in life? Heck! 52?! And the most important question of all - would I ever get to visit Hawaii, a lifelong love affair with that beautiful state - and yes, I have gotten there many times and still crave to do so again at least for one more time.

Well, 2000 came and went. Partying like it was 1999 was not a good idea as I would have to get up early the next day for work. So much for that idea! Age 52 came and went and here I am, 75, if not bright and shiny, at least on the outside, I feel so on the inside. Yes, I know physically 52 has long gone, been AWOL, but the important thing is how one feels inside, in conscience, in self-evaluation. If one can do that and land on the better side of the bottom line, then one has succeeded in life. Not to be perfect for I leave that to G-d and His angels, but good enough, with room to grow and improve.

Age 75. The diamond necklace be damned, as I have a better one. It carries the names of my kids, my grandchildren and now I must add that of my great grandson. My life has been good, even with moments when it was not, being challenged or beset by one thing or another. And so, I look back and evaluate. Have I made a difference, still count for something, contribute to trying to improve this world, push for the right? I hope so, believe so.

 Lucky in my family, my life partner is even better than I had ever thought possible. Our love is deeper, more meaningful now than when we were two stupid kids getting married, knowing nothing about what awaited us. Our kids have turned out great as have their families, and were blessed by children, who are the life blood within my soul. The beating heart - our brand-new bundle of joy and happiness - our first great grandson. The most important ingredient is the constant assurance and knowledge that we love and are loved - no matter what. Impressed by their ever-growing tightness as siblings, Gerry and I watch as they pull together, kids and grandkids, and share in the harsh necessity we face in healing Yitzy, in seeing him and his family come out of the dark tunnel replete with life, with joy, with love.

Our gratitude towards all, so many, who pray daily for Yitzy knows no limits. We believe it has definitely helped and hope and pray that it continues, walking beside us through that tunnel lit up by the love and concern of others.

Finally, I cannot end without writing of the wonderful friends who have sustained me in life, who are better people than I, and thank goodness for that! Equally, I cannot leave out my educational kids and my educational in laws. These are my students and their parents, whom I came to know, who enriched my life, teaching me as I taught their kids. Contact continues with many, and I bless them for being an integral part of my life, hoping that some little positive bit within them is there because I was there, present in their lives at an important time for them. I tried my best, made errors, but always wished to do well by them.

End? Hopefully not, at least for a few years. There is always more to do, new things to try. Who'd a' thunk that one day woodwork, painting, and jigsaw puzzles would be there, along with constant piles of books awaiting perusal. 

G-d willing I look forward to 76, 77, to 120, until the good Lord decides it is time.

So Happy Birthday to the old lady in the mirror. Love ya' mom, and yes, for the most part, I also love myself. Like much of what I have become, urging changes towards a better, kinder world. Still working on that.

Great start- finally - Trump indicted, to be booked Tuesday. Justice will be achieved. One hopes.

Sorry, could not resist that last bit. Been waiting too long to see him receive his just 'rewards', atone or pay for the damage he has inflicted upon this nation in so many ways, some so difficult to repair.

In the meanwhile, let us learn again how to be a nation together. Always together.

Together - Together we can achieve it all. 

Together we can

HEAL THE WORLD.

HEAL YITZY!

Yitzchak Elimelech ben Chana Sarah

May he be granted refuah shelaymah bimheyrah beyameinu. 

May he be granted a timely and complete healing.

May he always remain on the road of faith, healing and strength.

May we all walk on that same road.

May Hashem hear all our voices raised in prayer. 

Amen. Amen.