TIME TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH

 Before I continue on the arc of the past few weeks, I am compelled to take a small segue into a topic I have been neglecting of late. It has become simply impossible to remain silent on this so egregiously blatant attack on this nation, led by a madman, a clever, spoiled child who has assumed a weak cloak of respectability and endangered this nation to a greater degree than any other person or event I can think of in comparison. 

These past months, getting worse every day, hour by hour, these crazy, dangerous antics of Trump and fellow circus members behave as children given permission to raid the candy section, and that alone, but who push past, raid the entire store, challenging anyone to object and act to restrain. When there is none, only silence, the circus opens the doors of the asylum, liberating the rest of the circus, thereupon allowing them free reign to destroy this nation. Rampant, blatant, ignorance and incompetence. Vicious desire to tear down rather than build and improve and progress. Vicious threats ranging from the vocal, emotional, and psychological to actual physical threat. No one is exempt. No one at all.    

Plans to emulate Hitler, Stalin, Putin, all crazed dictators and set up American format of concentration camps, whatever pseudonym given, and imprison within all who displease him - men, women, children, native born and naturalized, or not, for it makes no matter. None at all. Doubling down on the horror of it all via the deployment of our standing military, not the National Guard, to carry out the orders of this crazed manchild, to do the dirty for him.   

Think!! Then think again and understand that madness feeds upon all it sees and imagines. All, no boundaries, no ends in sight. No matter. No mind. Orwellian Newspeak. Vile disinformation. Perilous misinformation. Censorship of all and any, from thoughts to research from books to products. Imposed crazed tariffs and labor force shortsightedness, all contributing and leading to predicted food shortage, bare shelves and impossibly high prices, in 2025 and for as long as this man and his ilk dominate.

What have we done? What have we allowed? Do we actually wish to have the likes of an Elon Musk as the actual real President, standing behind the throne of the fake one. Truly? What have we allowed? Do we actually wish to turn back the clock and all that has improved? Do we wish to remove rights of women? Criminalize LGBTQ. Cancel civil rights and shred the Constitution? 

Have we ever thought this through? Do we understand how shaky the land beneath our feet is?   How do we explain and justify to ourselves our empowerment of a moral and sexual pervert, a   convicted felon, a fraud, and always and forever not acknowledging nor repentant of his sins and offenses, against both G-d and mankind.

And where, when, why and how did we decide to toss aside our moral guidelines? Have we ever thought ahead, all the way through to the consequences of these decisions of ours? Is this what we wish for our children to be when they grow up? Would you leave any female member of your family in the room alone with him. The answer to all these questions is a resounding no. And shame on us that we denied that, closed our minds and souls to the truth.

I shudder at the thought that one day I might look out the window, peruse a paper, boot up the computer and check messages and perforce be forced to say, "I told you so." Dear Lord, I pray not.

For those who have thrust aside all that is wrong with him, all that is wrong and dangerous emanating from his trailing crew of troglodytes, all in the name of his support of Israel, his threat to let all hell loose should the hostages not be released - if he succeeds, kudos to him. However, it does not explain away nor forgive all the wrong that he has done. And all the harm to follow. 

With all my heart and soul, I pray for our hostages to be returned home, for peace to reign. For this ugly wave of JewHatred to be crushed, consigned to some deep, dark hole somewhere in the universe, never to be resurrected. Always keep in mind, though that behind the activation of this violent streak of JewHatred stand the Oath Keepers and the Proud Boys, acknowledged, celebrated by Trump. Prominent supporters of Trump.  Add to this rather horrid mix the huge streaks of volatility and unpredictability, the lack of morals within this man, his greed for wealth and power, his arrogance, all that propels him forward on his ugly pathway through life.   

I do not and cannot trust that man. I pray with all my might and soul, that the hostages are indeed freed from Hell, but if not, will he carry through with his threat? Or will it prove to be all hot air and bluster? To do the right thing. I truly hope so. But am I sure? No. It remains a huge unknown. If this tactic is successful, I will thank him for that. But I cannot forgive all that he has done to this nation and all that might be awaiting us in the very near future.  

I wish I could have avoided this posting. I have stayed away from politics, so ugly as it has become. However, I felt compelled to say something at this point. On Sunday I return, gratefully, to my other topic of great importance and meaning to me.

On the morrow and the morrow.

                  

SENSE AND NOT SENSE

Many, if not most, people believe what they see, can prove its actuality. The imaginative ideas of childhood fade away, chalked off due to grown up seriousness, even as we realize that imagination is the frontline of creativity and enrichment of lives.  However, and quite unfortunately, people have begun to swallow whole, fabrications. and nonsense tailored to meet emotional needs. The idea of 'proof of the pudding' is consigned to the trash heap. 

 Why has it seemingly become easier for people to swallow words of blatant lies and hostility without challenge. Perhaps because we are living in extremely tense, pressurized times and looming, not so distant, is the threat or the possibility of a World War III, manifested in a global declared war even as the reality of the day is that the world is pocked with wars and conflicts, large and small, major and minor, though how it is possible to declare a war as 'minor' beats me. We look for a staff to lean on. For a path to make it through life without losing totally   one's sanity.

 Living in highly difficult times throughout history has meant a turning to something, anything, providing a staff to lean on, a word of hope. Dropping heavily into that field of concern and need is Religion. It provides a structure. It speaks of a time somewhere in the future where this Religion will enable a better world and a better life for all, particularly for believers and practitioners. Nowhere to be found is Faith, an internal deeply enmeshed in the mental and moral makeup of society and individuals of that society. Merely   faith, assumed to be synonymous with their religion. 

Public observance of the rites and rituals, of the demands made of practitioners of that religion, in number and complexity, passing from top to bottom, became a growth industry. It became a path to worldly success, visible in public display and consumption, the higher the rank, the higher the social and economic status. Those so blessed, public and prominent consumers and practitioners of the approved religion, were deemed and thought of as messengers and representatives of the god(s) or G-d of that religion.  

Religion and government became closely aligned, barely a sliver of light between them. Religion, the proper approved religion, became state policy. Complaints and doubts and the reformists, the doubters, who saw a need for improvement and   adjustment, spoke up. Loudly. Openly. More followers. The discontent became a threat to the state and supporters of challenge of the official religion faced punishment all the way unto death.

 Fear, discontent and dissatisfaction, louder demands for change, public riots and demonstrations, led to the historical period of religious reformation and the proliferation and eventual separation of one religion from another. Consequential inevitable wars between them leading to rivers of blood grew in number and intensity and often involved the slaughter of innocents, non-partakers of the religions in conflict nor their goals but nevertheless died in its bloody maw. The Crusades, considered a Holy Quest, gave rise to the slaughter of the Jewish population of Europe and the Holy Land. 

No one was immune nor unaware of the bloody state of Europe and the conflicts between religions and their practices. That included people of the Jewish faith. Crushed even more by governments who needed them to deflect the dissatisfaction and unrest among the population, the growing disregard and contempt for established state religions. These states became ever fiercer and more determined to keep rebellion down and imposed ever more stultifying rules and severe punishment for the slightest infractions.   

And here we are back at the ranch. The Jewish community, while separate, was no different. Unrest. More dissatisfaction. Public hearings demanded. People chaffed at the ever-stricter rules and against the ever more constricted world of their community. Interpretations of practice of Judaism, of what was allowed and what not, the growing power of religious leaders, the fierce determination to keep figurative walls of stone and steel around the community, led to more dissatisfaction  and  opposition, a cycle ever repeating, growing wider, faster, more powerful in its effects and grew apace as the reactions of the ruling class chose the eminently wrong and doomed to failure path of grossly wrong minded thinking and actions.

However, no matter the anger of the people at the religious leaders and their downward pressure, their viewed as incorrect interpretations by man of the words of the Lord, as seen via the eyes and minds of the day and ours as well, there is an eternal need for structure and a comforting of soul and body. That comes via the acceptance and belief, a Faith, in some Power, a Being, a reassurance in the knowing that we are not alone. They are willing to worship and serve, but not to be diminished. The religion, the Faith, is to enhance and upraise humanity and the individuals within.

Within these changing and demanding times people desperate for succor look anywhere for it. False prophets, damaging rules and regulations. Words conveying the opposite of what they truly mean. Well, here we are today. So many, too many of us are living in a void, unsure of what is real and what is not. What makes sense and what not. 

We twist and turn along this way and that seeking, discarding and seeking again. We are enmeshed in confusion and grasp on to the next seemingly appropriate answer only to find we were wrong. It was inappropriate. Perhaps we misinterpreted.         As we did throughout history, as we sought answers and hope, we delved deeply into our foundations. That led to some answers, but it also segued directly to more questions. More explanations, satisfying ones, are demanded, yet too often the response is not satisfying, something is missing. We need more. We crave more. 

In our journey we seek what makes sense. What tugs in our hearts and minds and souls? What will make us a better person? What will bring us closer to that Power? Is your answer my answer? The same for others? Can we mesh them together, diminishing the effects of the different and stressing the commonalities. Always leaving room, keeping the door open for those who are seeking still or have just begun their journey.  How will we know when we have reached our destination, and our journey complete, at least for us? Is that destination immutable or can it, must it, change through the years and the conditions of life. I am sharing my journey and my reasons for it. What about your journey? Where are you?    

On the morrow.     

   

HARD WORK

 So. Cogitation is a difficult thing to do. It requires a deep and honest dive into ideas. and words perhaps best left unsaid. However, I cannot leave this process in the midst of it all. It doesn't work. Not for me anyway. I'm getting to the point where all of the introductory work or words have led us. Obviously, a bit longer than I thought it would be, but it feels good. It feels right. 

To actually think, what do I feel? What do I wish could be changed? What was better about the before and what is perhaps better with the after and the now and could there be some sort of an amalgam of the three prongs of time - past, present, and future? Can I find compatibility with what I think and feel, with what I believe and along with the faith and beliefs of others somehow complementing each other? Or is that a wishful pipe dream, never to come to fruition?

I needed more definition. I do not believe that religion is the absolute equivalent of faith. If that were the case, then assuming that all believing, at least those that believe in the one Western G-d would have no difficulties with each other and there would be peace treaties between and among them. Suffice it to say, and history is proof, that has never happened, nor do I expect a Pax Religion to occur, and certainly not in the near future. We are so wrapped up in defending the religions to which we belong, and we do not see past the arguments. 

Instead, we further exacerbate the situation by highlighting those differences with accompanying boast of certitude, in in our belief of the superiority of one's own religion over respective religions.    Hence, along come the inevitable wars, bloody wars, of internal and/or worldwide battles, all to prove via combat and hanging, drowning, burning at the stake, stoning, (the world practicing its misplaced misused creativity). All to prove that falsehood a truth, and by golly, after the beatdown unbelievers receive, well, they will be ready to believe and swear fealty and belief to the god of their conquerors. War forced upon those of other religions to take on the god of the victors. Not exactly a sacrosanct principle of behavior, but certainly sacred in its occurrence throughout history.

What is religion? And how does it differ from faith?  Religion is defined as 

"...the belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods'"

Faith is defined in relating to religion as

 "...belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion"

 Must they come as a yoked pair, or considered to be one and the same? Faith is a feeling more than a concrete entity. It does not require rites and strictures. It requires one to believe that there is something, perhaps undefinable, mysterious beyond a full human understanding or portrayal in physical sense. As it should be. Faith is meant to be challenged and challenging and requires much, too much at times, from the believer, the one with Faith. Faith in its belief, in its actuality, is Faith. Pure and simple, though not always so. But the Faith remains. It is the Faith of survivors of Nazi Germany, of Oct 7, of 9/11, of personal tragedy. Faith is what one needs to make it through a dark period beyond any comprehension, survive the boiling anger or desperate despair. It is Faith. Period. Challenged at times, even denied for a time, but Faith returns, albeit perhaps even modified in some manner, but there it is and there it remains.  

Religion is otherwise. Very much so. In actuality, religion can be practiced, even committed to, sans Faith. A faith does exist in the comfort it might give as people like routines, especially at times of crisis. Most people prefer to be part of a crowd, a group, a class rather than stand alone and be wrapped in a cloud of loneliness. 

That loneliness can be ameliorated by a religion without Faith. There is a faith, uncapitalized, which does exist. It provides comfort in the specific need of a person. It might give such in the social aspect. In the rites and routines of the practice of religion. It does not require Faith, though it might lead to that Faith over time. That Faith requires belief in a Power, mysterious, severe yet merciful, the source of reward and punishment, a staff to lean on and a taskmaster to serve and please. It is not religion.  

Religion and Faith do not have to be mutually linked together in an unbreakable connection. Nor are they enemies of the other if one leans towards the one rather than the other. Together there might be a strengthening of both; they do not demean or lessen each other if not shared within the same   person. One can be deeply immersed in the practice of religion. So deemed and recognized as such by all who know or see him, though Faith might not be there. Only faith. 

On the other hand, one can be a person who does not practice any religion, forgoes all the rites and rituals of such, yet be a person of deep Faith. There is within a well of belief and Faith which never goes dry, always replenishing, during good times and bad. It is an acknowledgement of a someone, an entity, who is watching or not, indifferent or personally involved, of shared and contrasting traits, always to remain a mystery, yet always there. That is Faith. It can and does exist without religion just as religious practice can be kept without Faith.  

A union of both can be glorious in its partnership. However, if not so, each in single manner, may provide the person, complete the person, fulfill the needs. It is not a matter of condemnation or praise.  It is a reality which must be recognized as Here. Deal with it for whatsoever strengthens a person, enables that being to live a good and productive life, to respect and love others, there is no wrong here. 

It is most unfortunate there are too many not accepting of that reality. Many condemn it. They remonstrate with vociferous voice and warnings of doom befalling the "offenders" or ones they care about and are the source of all wrong and sorrow in the world. Certainly, a deep burden to lay upon the shoulders of the young, of the seekers, of those damaged by life, of those seeking a truth for themselves.  

This approach might inspire, negatively, for some of the lost lambs to return to the flock, but in many cases the results are not as such. It might be a questioning, stronger doubts, for how can one    who professes faith, who openly, vigorously, ostentatiously, practices religion, how can this person be so negative, so evil, so mean? It is a contradiction of all that religion and faith are meant to be and provide. 

Threats and fear might work for a while. However, after a time, they inevitably provide room and desire, a driving need of and for resentment and opposition. That opposition can result in a rejection of exactly what the person needs. It takes away structure. It takes away reassurance. It provides for loneliness. For confusion. It does not provide for the good. 

It drives away many, and they wander through life, bereft of comfort and structure, all that true unselfish Faith and religion could provide when presented in the proper manner. 

How can this be avoided? How can we reach out and within and find that Faith and that religion suitable and compatible, both for the world and for our smaller communities? Might we ever find a path of compassion, understanding and acceptance? If we cannot, or will not, then woe upon us. The losses are already too many. 

What are these losses? Are they beyond aid and reunion? Might we be better off shifting our viewpoints and outlooks? Are we capable of honest thought and examination? Will we agree to certain truths and adjustments? If we do not, we will continue to provide a nourishing atmosphere for that which is rendering our people apart. Shredding the fabric which shelters us. Precisely at a time when it is so desperately important that we be strong and united. 

I am one of those rethinking, reexamining, and it is a painful, yet rewarding experience. Never to be totally completed. Life has changes and we must make change work for us, not for our ruination. As a nation, as a people, are we wanting and capable of viewing life from other angles and with different binoculars and telescopes. Will we choose the virtues of understanding over a divisive condemnation?  

Will we be honest and open with ourselves as to what we feel? No hiding. Only truth. Can we find it within ourselves? Are we capable as individuals to sound out or at least extend hands in understanding and acceptance. Try it for you might find it pleasant indeed.

Please make no assumptions about what I am thinking for most probably you will be incorrect. Patience. Wait. Think.

  On the morrow.   

      

Cogitating

 Still thinking on what to post and not ready to do it today. SEE YOU ON WEDNESDAY

AND SO...

  ...here we are. Where exactly? That is what I am trying to figure out. I swing back and forth, though not to either extreme, the one being a total immersion into a faith that bears no questioning or doubt, nor the extreme of total denial and disbelief. Is one correct and am I totally deaf and blind to its truth? Perhaps too stubborn to go all in on one pot or the other? 

I doubt that, for I am not willing to cede total control of my thoughts and thinking process to the control of others, generally those backward thinking people who believe true faith resides in total acceptance of rules and regulations, the interpretation and expansion of such, and disregard the rather vociferous disagreements re their implementation. How can I possibly know the truth, the actually spot on interpretation if those designated as leaders cannot agree? I must figure that out for myself, always including certain principles and tenets of faith that I simply cannot leave behind.

Nor am I willing to accept a total cessation and disregard of faith. Could that be an outcome from a selfish need to know that I am not alone, that there is something out there, some Power, some last resort, to which one can turn be it in moments of joy or despair? No, not acceptable for that would      imply we are here in some 'rando' causation, purpose unknown, if any, bereft of guidance as to how to live life, how to have meaning in a seemingly meaningless world. Can't do that.

It is easier in many ways to cede all control, all decisions, to the authority of another, removing the enormously difficult task of self-responsibility, the duty and challenge of deciding for myself, to myself, the rules and manners of life. No, cannot do that, at least I cannot. I am too ornery to accept total cessation of all thought process, of motivation, of soul stamina and determination of behavior to the whims and fancies of others. Nope, not in the cards for me. 

What would be the design of a motivational program of life positive in impetus and consequence? Are we in fact alone in this? Can we not forge, together, some format wherein simple clear standards of unbreakable principles would form a structure, a livable one, moral, demanding to a degree for all members of society of adherence to standards of civic and civil behavior? Can we not divine for ourselves a universal code compatible for all?  Is humankind as a whole or as individuals capable of sussing out the proper and productive way of life for all, carry within enough inner impetus to do that? Or must we unfortunately incorporate the idea of punishment and consequences, good and bad. As necessary. As earned. Do we have enough strength to withstand temptations of this world, at least enough so that    all consequences of negative impact can wait until some future unknown time, evaluated and judged   by that Power of vague description? Would that carry enough weight to keep us on the straight and true? Again, not sure, not at all.

Maybe that is not the fault of humans. Perhaps the fault is to be found in our creation, flaws, big or small, built within? Is this flawed creation planned, or random? (Never mind the physical design flaws, backs never meant to carry us through life on a permanent two leg upright position.) Are these flaws too powerful and influential enough to hinder any instinctual push to motivational moral behavior, to counter tendencies for the good? Is it possible for altruism to conquer selfishness?  

 Take a look around and judge for yourself. Are we in fact a moral society by nature, or do we tend to tilt towards the ugly other side of this coin? Do we value or stress the immediate in this world consequence or do we believe in the world to come for that to take place? 

And... full circle.  What do we believe? Are we to enforce our ideas and beliefs, force them upon others or do we send them 'out of camp', to others who either believe and practice with a differing set of tenets or who perhaps have no professed faith at all?   

Do conflicting principles perforce lead to inevitable warfare, bloody combat rearing its ugly head replete with multiple fangs and claws unsheathed, leaving behind prominent scars forever aching, forever unhealed, always prominent and painful. Would that ugly scenario be better served via a crushing of the differences and a forced adoption for all of one credo? One forced imposed Power for all somehow made to fit all, truncated and unrecognizable, crushing of all individuality, satisfying no one? 

 One Power - and whose Power would that be? What are its attributes? Is there a negative and positive side? Do they live together in harmony, or do they clash, causing problems for humanity?     Is it a truly Divine Being or a super-sized, super powerful version of humanity.  Is that Power amenable to all or offensive to some? Does it have an origin story or background compatible with the story of Mankind? Who among humans will willingly adopt a faith in this ginned up power? What, in fact, does that faith contain within and demand of its adherents? 

In fact, is it a faith in what is practical or is it a strong never to be denied Faith. A Faith incompatible with another Faith or so deemed by its adherents - and welcome to 2024-2025. And the foreseeable future. Is there in fact one true Faith split into forever incompatible parts, like the elephant and the 6 blind men, each describing accurately individual segments. So right. Yet so wrong. So incompatible in its individuality unless and until some wise mind would find the accurate temperature for melding and unity, inclusive and exclusive at the same time.       

And here we are again, ever more circles. Who and what is the Power? Has it created us, or have we created it? If so, was that because of dire need of a Power? If we do not know the correct answer to that, or have an unshakeable faith in one's answer, as opposed to yet another's unshakeable answer, faith in that Faith, we cannot begin to fathom the difficulties to be settled if we are to generate somehow, hopefully ASAP, a society of harmony and inclusion and an end of ceaseless states of war  always upon this earth of ours -  of our doing!

So many questions. Why are we here in the first place? Was it a random happenstance of the universe or was it a deliberate act of creation?   Do we have a purpose? Who would have given us that purpose? Or did it come from within? Is mankind more alike or more different? What is the import of that answer? 

That Power - benevolent or harsh? Demanding or understanding? Revengeful or compassionate? Caring or indifferent? Seeking to enlarge and enhance its powers, to be worshipped more and more, playing a numbers game either within its own head or in competition with other gods? Who would be those other gods and powers?  Is there in fact One Power or one ruling the many, as bickersome as the humans they disdain.  Do they represent various faiths of differing tenets or are they all inclusive within the One Power? Would they agree to mend their differences and set an example for the humans below? 

As Humans, we continue to be perplexed and frustrated, despairing of a peaceful, viable solution. A way to peace, and if not friendship, then at least cooperation. How are we to discern where we are    to place our faith? Is it faith or Faith? Are we   capable of melding universalities without offending the individualities of differing Faiths?  

This is a conundrum of head spinning import and impact. Not so easy, though cursory responses are there for those seeking and accepting an easy, soothing answer, a way out, demanding not too much. For me, I prefer to think for myself. I prefer a stress on the concern for each other and find it difficult to accept the idea of a One Power so insecure that He would prefer yet another paean of praise backed by nothingness over an intense interest in His creations and their behavior - thumbs up or down in - morality, kindness, cooperation, goodness, honesty, and love.     

More on the morrow.        

I BELIEVE.

 I believe. Such a simple statement. In fact, what does it mean? I believe - in what exactly or in whom? Is it a tenet of life? A statement of faith in someone or something? Can we define it exactly so as to be understood and internalized. If one can do that or “believe” in its positivity and possibility, with nary a doubt, or a weak one, then that person is truly blessed. Most of us, if we are all honest, might say we believe, that we mostly act as if we believe. In fact, though, there are always questions. Always doubts. Are these doubts natural? Are they instigated by some little gremlin living inside us? 

Whatever it is, innate doubts, or gremlins, it is a fact of life. It has been with us since the beginning of time, walked in lockstep with humankind. Is that good or bad? This question asks and is answered with variable replies, appropriately so, for faith is an individual matter and cannot be dictated, no matter how strenuous the efforts to make it so. Each individual must answer for him/herself, and the results will always have differentials and commonalities, and the habit of mankind is to mesh these commonalities, unfortunately attaching at the same time and over time, all manner of negativities and restrictions. The juice and joy of belief is squeezed out with fear and hypocrisy taking up much of the empty space thus created. So sad.

Far too often what remains is in fact too often non or misunderstood, failing to give us long term or permanent reassurance of something, anything, for the better, to take up residence in our asset column as we live or as we approach life's end. If the need for hope, for comfort, for knowing we are not alone in a frightening, hostile world, is the driving force for codified beliefs, one giving hope and consequences for actions, is that so wrong? Is it false? Is it based too much on fear of punishment rather than appeal to the better side of humans? Is that what humans really need? The stick over the carrot?  Why do we think so poorly of ourselves?   

Who in fact determines contents of that codification? Do we use the carrot or the stick? Will a person improve and strive to be better if there is no true spiritual belief? If the carrot of reward of an afterlife, in whatever format that afterlife takes, is actually false, or vague or uncertain, not known if it is real, will the possibility of its promise be enough? Nobody has ever come back from either the penthouse or the basement of the afterlife who warn us and shake a finger at us, saying " better be good. It's real". 

Even with that reassurance and warning we must wonder whether humanity is flawed from the moment of creation. Always and forever containing within, the urge, that driving tempting need, that which impels humanity too often to the wrong side of the mistaken choices of life. Why, when we claim and demand with loud hectoring voices to return to faith, to remain strong in that belief, do we in reality actually lionize the traits of those who do not do so. Whose behavior is diametrically opposed to those touted in the belief codes. 

 Why do we not see the benefits of living a good life, not only via material wealth, but in purity of soul and motivation. Or the need for and importance of constant striving to reach higher levels as we move through life. Why can we not rise to the level of truly understanding the truth of the words of a wise woman who said, “We are all none of us free until all, every one of us is free.”     

Are we prevented from doing worse by the belief codes, by faith and belief truly felt or one imposed upon us. How is one to deal with some doubts about this vaguely defined Power? Does it control our lives, thoughts and deeds or are we responsible for all that we do and think? Do we strive to do better, or do we throw in the towel and live the freer life? Can these ideas be meshed? Can humans achieve that lofty standard of doing good because it is right, no reward necessary? Must our behavior always be partnered with threats of retribution or promises of reward?  In fact, why do these threats and promises so often differ greatly from each other? 

In fact, down to the nitty gritty, the roots of it all has anyone ever explained that power? In clear and explicit words of definition and understanding. In fact, is it a one power or many powers. If there is one or a consortium of many, do they share names, each appropriating the names they desire, the names by which we have become familiar and incorporated into our belief. 

The questions contained within and more, necessitate answers. It is easy to drown oneself within a faith, a belief, which can give life structure and give us goals and targets. But at times, some folks need more. I need more to be able to define my personal faith, my code and structure of belief.  With clearer definition I will be the stronger and the better for it. I think we all would. Honesty for self is challenging but if we do not do so for ourselves, how could we possibly reach a better understanding of others.   

On the Morrow.   

QUESTIONING FOR UNDERSTANDING

  Old as time is the statement "There are no atheists in a foxhole.” Left unsaid, but obvious, is an ending - “under fire”. Human beings are rather arrogant in their turn on/turn off faith, belief in a God, by whatever assigned appellation, or organized religion. However, are all of these terms basically synonymous or are there important differences? Might one navigate easily amongst those terms or not?  Can one pick and choose without concern, able to meld and mold as desired? Or must one adhere to a specific choice and be limited in scope and ability, forced, of necessity to follow rigid outlines and demands?   

These questions began with and when the first man was joined by more. Their ideas, visions, loyalties, and manners or worship, to different gods, varying in number from one to many, and even in their appearance became, or evolved, into fractures within a heretofore united group. Points of contention grew and intensified. Many wars were fought to 'prove' their god(s) was the better, the stronger, the more frightening, of better appearance.  Whatever could be contested could and would spark a war. Clever humans hedged their bets and paid homage to many gods, figuring "what the hey - better be safe than sorry". 

The more uncertain people became, growing ever more confused and wary that perhaps they were worshipping a false god, the more they strutted their stuff, inflated their egos and fought violently, their cruelty to 'non-believers' overtopping that of the beasts of the field. Cruelty towards those who differed in thought or belief, in any change whatsoever, were termed heretics, traitors, blasphemers, were tortured and put to death in most unthinkably cruel executions. All in the name of God. Of course. 

 Condensing all the wars and changes to the world and civilization via religion we arrive at today. Not much has changed other than perhaps for the worse. Wars continue to be fought in the name of a God. Hate continues to be justified due to rivalry among adherents of various gods. Manner of worship and credos of religions are criticized and demeaned. Accusations are hurled back and forth until the pressure of the tension grows too high and explodes. And well, here we are today. Still fighting. Still claiming superiority of a proprietary God. Vicious bitter warfare and hatred, even among members of the same religion though varying   somewhat, somehow, a sect within, are deemed worthy and deserving of being targeted for death as heretics.  

Glaring in its absence are voices raised in opposition. Yes, there are some, but too few, too weak to make much of a difference. Hence, no serious attention is paid to challenging questions raised, nor are any relevant answers forthcoming. Only louder, ever more strident voices, forcing the world to believe in their god, oh so much better than yours. Our god loves us more than your god loves you and let's go to war to prove that. Nor should we fall for the platitudes and hot air from those who speak the words but don't mesh with supportive deeds.

All the while the class of the 'holy' tier grows richer, more powerful, more cutting, and they accrue power and wealth and too often flout the very tenets of their religion, in an arrogance enabled by a society confused and demoralized.      Voices of those who call for relationships of positive nature are drowned out by those who shake their weapons ever louder, in ever widening circles of influence. Woe upon a challenger of the accepted.  

 Humans continued to hedge their bets. It goes something like this. "Well, I'm not really sure whether there is a god of some kind or some power but just in case, I'll do ---------- (fill in the blank). Kind of like using a belt and suspenders, ensuring that one will not be caught with one's figurative pants down. But what is belief What is faith? What is religion? From whence comes the regulations of these religions - and there are many.   Do the differences between and within religions inevitably lead to animosity evolving into warfare in the name of one religion, one God or another.

 How do we approach and understand differences within the crowded forest of religions and beliefs and faiths. Why do they exist and are they meaningful, bottom line? Does it really matter?   Is it an unachievable goal of hope that one day we can all respect each other, accept the differences and stress the similarities? Honor and respect the glory of the gift of life and planet rather than destroy it?

Is there any wonder at the power and the longevity of this topic? It can be and is life changing with the direction of that change of utmost importance.  It is   necessary though difficult and challenging, reaching into the crux of our being. 

 Join me on Sunday and 'think about it". I am thinking much about it as it all begins to coalesce and find words of definition and clarity, though possible demanding even more.  

ON ITS WAY TODAY

 Due to extreme exhaustion from workout yesterday- no blog today. See you on Friday Same time same station

TRULY - DEEPLY

  The thoughts crowding into my head tumble over one another. I question. If I believe this, how could I believe that? Or agree with that idea only and reject the other premises tagged on to it. Is it in fact realistic to think, to believe, there is a possibility of choosing and meshing choices from diverse platforms? Might we reformat until a more acceptable credo emerges? Will the process of selection of compatible beliefs inevitably relegate me to no man's land? In the tense atmosphere enveloping Israel today, with shouting factions drowning out all others, is there any hope of reconciliation and the recalling that we are in a world of 'us vs them', and 'them' is powerful, judgmental and manifestly not our friend.

 Today, Israel is busy digging a chasm so deep and so wide that it rivals the chasm within America    today. Its dimensions had and continue to deepen a growing sense of negativity and impossibility of finding and developing a middle ground. People are so obsessed with what they have to a degree of severe selective deafness, even as the answer was given. As happened in a hearing in Congress. The possibility of forward movement is mired within a deep, sticky, gluey mud which actually forced us to move backwards too often. A growing effect of that mud is ossification of our brains, thus precluding most, if not all, constructive thoughts and approaches re societal issues.     

Is there in fact any solution to this growing aversion to the exchange of ideas, of melding them, and compromising? Of ideas emerging better, shinier, with positive synergy, casting aside the rusty and broken, that which no longer works nor makes sense, extracting the best of it, meshing it together and put it into play. But how? From whence the strength, the courage, the inspiration. 

Some recommend going further with the idea of separation within society - subdividing and    redividing within the strata of society. That is foolish and dangerous for the separations will develop - longer deeper and wider - impossible to repair and bridge. It weakens that society and places it in a position of danger. All the while, optimism becomes an endangered species.

 The answer is not separation. Answers will arise from a faith, a deeper, different kind of faith. It is a faith in Man bolstered, inspired by a faith in a Power, or simply in a vision and belief in a set of Rules of the Universe. Faith. Perhaps different from the faith of others, perhaps eyed with a questioning perusal and evaluation, but faith, nevertheless, engendering the enthusiasm and capability necessary to embark on a most difficult journey, seeking what is nigh unto impossible - but which must come to fruition.

Almost immediately arises a point of contention. How does one know another has a faith compatible with yours? Is that even relevant to the matter at hand? Must we actually question and evaluate the legitimacy of the faiths of the participants of this group of well-meaning courageous people?  In what manner is that faith expressed? Is that of critical importance as we begin discussion? Certainly not, if we are aware that violence is not approved within that faith. Why must we go deeper and further into the personal lives and beliefs of individuals? Does it matter whether prayers of a faith must be said in solitary format or within groups? Are there set and/or required prayers to insure, hopefully, positive reception or might the individual craft one's own prayers, perhaps more meaningful at that moment for a reason? Is it required for prayer to take place only within specified structures or is place unimportant as long as there is truth and devotion within the words and heart of the one praying?  

Are these questions and answers critical to this discussion as to how to branch the chasm within society? Must we all be the same down to the last line of life? Or must we simply be the same in one thing - to have faith in Man? That Mankind has been granted the ability and the desire to do better, be better, to strive always to be thus and even more. to know and believe that only via cooperation and shared burdens and goals, minimizing differences and envisioning and bringing to reality a better society for all and for individuals as well, can we bridge and fill in that chasm and prevent its return.   

For that to take place, we must start at the very beginning - the individual, for they make up the society at large. He/She must be comfortable within Self, of thought and rethinking, of understanding of differences without belittling them. And willing to think deep within one's Self and trust that the others are doing so as well. The next step is for these individuals to identify points of connection amongst themselves, solidify their understanding and ideate as to how to encompass within those points, the members of their particular strata or segment of society, before venturing on to application to society at large, as a whole. Too often internal distinctions and differences within a larger group distinct from others, prove detrimental to stepping forward and upwards to larger segments of society. One might be surprised at the distinctions among groups who present themselves as one to the outside world. 

Tomorrow's topic of thought and changes, for me, at least. 

Trigger alert: Some readers might not be happy with me. That is okay for we are all entitled to think as we wish, as we believe, even as necessary. To spare ourselves aggravation we push aside rethinking, avoid areas of contention. However, there comes a time when questions arise and cannot be set aside. This is evidently my time.   

    

ALL TOO TRUE

 Too true is that we, as individuals, nations or entities in between, look for a way out. The blame for a misdeed or lack of needed action, of misplaced or mistimed words never belongs to the doer. It is always someone else who "made me/us do it". Apparently, we have never outgrown the school age plaint of "It's not my fault. He made me do it". Always, someone else is at fault and if we continue to never assume responsibility and ensuing consequences, we will never grow up. While that is annoying within an individual, when it occurs within the ruling tiers of government, woe upon us. 

So here we are. Yet another generation blaming our parents and our upbringing. Blaming the circumstances of our lifetimes. Never acknowledging that the errors made, the actions necessary, but not taking place, are all connected to us. They emanate from us. And while yes, everything in our lives has influenced us in ways known and understood or not, it is up to us to make the final decisions. We could stand strong, or we can crumble before it, be driven to capitulation under its weight. We can behave with respect to others, or we can demean them, think of them as 'lesser'. Evidently, we can do many things other than accept brutal truth too many times. Hence, too often there is very little forward movement of humans, be it individually or en masse. 

Yes, and so here we are indeed, in the middle of one of the worst messes we have so productively and expertly created. Once again. Ever again. Such a talent! Who would be, should be, proud. However, Gaea, the mother of Earth according to Greek mythology, is not so, is in fact upset with humanity and their misdeeds and disrespect towards the gifts of Earth and has sent countless warnings and displays of that anger and disappointment. Do we take notice? Not so much.  

And so yes, here we are again. What is an individual to do? One must step outside of oneself and do a deep dive into what makes one up, into one's life, past, present and into the future. Is there a need for directional corrections? Specific steps to take must be carefully planned and carried out. It's a difficult task, asking oneself to step back, to come to an evaluative halt, hopefully temporary, so as to enable a proper pathway for the future.  Always, the process must continue if there is to be any forward movement. Were these footsteps on the proper path as planned or had they strayed? If so, make the corrections necessary. Life is a demanding process. If one is to live it correctly, morally, productively, attention to it must be constant lest it fall into disrepair. 

Without a plan or intention, I began to think about one of the pillars of my life. I was born almost simultaneously with the official rebirth of the land of Israel as the State of Israel, a nation unto itself, the equal of any other nation upon this earth. Sadly. it must be acknowledged that this is not the current situation and Israel, the land, the nation, has undergone many trials and tribulations. Always emerging on top, that position too often demanded great sacrifice, lakes of blood and sorrow, of loss insurmountable. The actualization of a dream, of Zionism, the belief that we will once again have our own state, recognized as such, a keeping of a promise of millennia, a dream necessitated by an ugly reality and it was finally so. 

The achievement of this dream will always be with us, no more to be denied its life.  Despite the hostility of the world. Despite the never-ending disease of JewHatred. Despite its intensification, not only since October 7, but over the past decade. More and more it has come out of the woodwork where it has been hidden. Worse, its proponents, its adherents shout ever louder and receive more approval than ever before, at least since the end of the Shoah, the Holocaust.  

Like the state of Israel my life has generally been good. I have been hit hard at times, faced deep challenges, had losses which broke my heart and brought me to my knees, unknowing if I could ever rise again. Would I even want to? How does one get over a grief so deep, so overwhelming, no end in sight, no opening available, no exit. No door, no window, no hole through which to crawl. 

That condition and state of mind, the roiling of my emotions melded with that of Israel as it faced the Worst War of its life. This was a true attack on the nation by an ancient enemy, the Amalek, who have returned over the millennia in various guises to plague us, ever and for always. It is a nation left to survive as misplaced kindness by a ruler of Israel gave in to a human emotion and did not slay the enemy Amalek to the last survivor.  This error has cost us much loss and grief and remains with us, for in every generation a new version of Amalek arises with the same deadly goals of destruction of the people of Israel. And finds warmth and acceptance within the hateful toxic soil of other Jew Haters.  

Nations, again, are colluding in a nasty plot to wipe out the people of Israel, the nation of Jews, off the face and out of the memory banks of this planet. As Israel was under attack, intensively so, Jews round the world were attacked and vilified, threatened, beaten, and vandalized - an old world infiltrating a new world - not so new at all. And no one was exempt. Not at home. Not in business. Not in professions. Not in arenas of sport and creativity. Not in synagogues. Not in schools. Not anywhere. Once again to be ostracized and isolated, dehumanized, Untermenschen once again.  

Fear and pain and anger and disappointment. Again. Ever again. Will the world ever change? Will there ever come a time when Jews will walk free without fear of attack. Will there be a time when we are not seen as perfect targets and use for purposes of deflection. I found myself melding with the State of Israel. More thought was called for.

Too much for this blog posting.

More on the morrow.    

 

      

    

  

I NEED, YOU NEED, WE ALL NEED ...

 Lord, but that list is a long, long one with no end in sight. There's so much that we need - materially, spiritually, economically, a full understanding of the realm of humanity, what it is to be human. What in fact are the instructions from within us and those of the Lord, by whatever name we call that power.   To comprehend via education and instinct, formally or informally, what is it which enables humans to time and time again to commit the same egregious existential threatening actions, yet also time again and again, have the stamina and determination to dig ourselves out of our own self-created disaster zone. 

Humans as a group and as individuals, are bundles of contradiction and exasperation. We spout platitudes containing promises of improvement, a   drive to reach perfection and to dissipate the flaws of the world. Yet our actions and deeds speak otherwise as we negate all those promises with the. exact opposite in reality, of course with explanatory reasons and excuses.  Loads of hooey containing only hot air which dissipates quickly along with the original positive intentions. 

I wonder, do we fully understand what we are doing? Do we comprehend, even as we push the religious tenets handed down to us by whatever named Power we worship, we are, in our stubborn misthought and mistaught deeds are violating those very same principles of faith. Do we not realize by our contradictions, our hypocrisy, we are setting the stage for yet another generation to grow up confused and ever more cynical, evermore distant from the better side of humanity. We engender a loss of drive, desire, energy and ability to mount the efforts necessary, the insight and intelligence to dig beneath the surface and find the roots of the evils we as human have perpetrated upon this planet and at least begin the campaign of repair, to make a start and set an example for those who follow and for those wavering souls of our own time. Always sparked with a realization that the woes of this planet are self-inflicted, by careless action or lack of action. Knowing and accepting that upon our shoulders lies the responsibility, the onus and the necessity to do what must be undertaken, to coax and lead humanity forward on a better path for the future than we have trodden in the past and present.   

Think ahead, perhaps in a bubble of illusion and eternal hope, of a possibility, a reality, of finding minds, hearts and souls willing and capable of sitting down, celebrating our similarities, and explaining and accepting of the various tweaks and turns which heretofore have separated us. Much to our detriment. We have needlessly exaggerated them so let us diminish them now, accept and celebrate both our commonalities and our   differences, and with real intent and effort, reach a realization, an actuality, of that bubble. 

We do, within us, have the ability to negate the power and effects of the poison of hate which the world has unfortunately championed since the beginning of time. We need to understand that only via cooperation and understanding can we forge forward as a species, fix our ailing planet and perhaps even explore the stars and the rest of this glorious universe. For many, many years I have despaired of this possibility, wondering if we had the ability, even a smidgen of desire, to mount an attempt, to plant one small seed. After further thinking and further reading, though, the words of those wiser than I have caused me to think there is a possibility, though it grows darker and dimmer almost daily. I think we can at least make a start, but if we do not, the end will be upon us and due to us. 

We must understand, we must accept and acknowledge, that up to this point we have failed abysmally, far more than we have succeeded. The road to success, even the faint outline of a path through to success will become visible only when, as individuals and as entities, we understand that selfish desires to heap more within our hands than another is harmful to all. In fact, these ramped up uncontrollable practices and desires lead only to more trouble rather than benefit. Before we can expect nations to understand and practice that we must find it within ourselves. And it is that effort and understanding which I seek within. 

For those who will accuse me of fostering some outmoded ism of some sort, I am not. I value individualization, proper gains or losses as we earn them. I do not champion over access for that is eminently harmful to all. It is part of an emphasis we need - of action and reaction, of consequences applied as proper. Always in such a way that the gains outweigh the losses, and we all learn and savor, a win-win situation, for individuals and the world at large. 

 Up to this point we have failed more than succeeded.  We must try to and indeed do better, for there is no other choice for us. We are all on this world together. We hang together or we hang separately -an old but true statement. 

More on the morrow, Hang in there with me.

EAGLE OR VULTURE

Who are we? Who do we wish to be? Who am I? Who are you? These are existential questions of self-definition, or of hopefulness. Knowing where we are, where we now stand and where we wish to be, or better yet, where we should be, is of critical importance. How can we extend understanding, comfort, sympathy, an open hand. to others if we do not have that innate sense of knowing or accepting what they need. It might be similar to your own needs at similar times, or it might very well be different. Sympathy is wonderful, but not enough. What is more comforting for those caught in a suffocating blanket of need is empathy, the very difficult ability to know another while standing in your own shoes, rather than putting yourself in their shoes, which might be a misfit for you.

How do we accomplish that enormously difficult state of mind? By practice, by doing the same at other times of need, in daily moments through our lives. In the words of the heroic Rachel Goldberg-Polin, so many are living in "an excess and surplus of suffering" ...(in) "aches of agony", and what is needed is: "This most complicated of disciplines requires looking at the person in front of us and saying to ourselves, “What does this person need?” not “What do I imagine I would need in this person’s situation?” 

Most of us can only strive to reach that height of empathy, but we must try. For if we do not, we will have ceded much that raises us above mere animal instinct. It demands a reaching out and a touching of the soul of others as they are and as they need, even as we do not excuse the evil and the harm they might have perpetrated upon others, and does not negate the principle of equity. Sympathy and empathy, ameliorating situations, " coloring out of line” must be judged as needed. Always, though, with the knowledge that egregious and grievous deeds must have consequences, and those consequences must be in place and real. 

When disaster strikes, whatever form it takes, we of necessity must make a choice. We must choose between the eagle and the vulture. Will we be the brave and the bold, defending and fighting for the best of us or will we be the vultures feasting on the remains of a country, a culture? Those questions of who are we and who am I ring loud and clear, and answers are demanded. Knowing, the knowledge deep within the very marrow of your bones that justice and valiant courageous behavior too long denied often means forever denied.   

The acts of the many are often based built upon the acts of the individual(s). A spark is necessary to light the fires of justice and compassion, of Right over Wrong, of Good over Evil. Before that spark can be lit and emit light for the difficult trek ahead an intense and honest assessment of that spark's soul must be undertaken. And so must we all do, for we live in tumultuous times and always must be prepared as needs be. 

I am not that spark nor am I one of the leading well-lit sparks to join in. I am one of the crowd, doing my best, to be honest and forthright, to think out my thoughts and beliefs as they must be, an ever-ongoing difficult task, for life is not static, nor must our tenets be thus. I am in the midst of a probably late assessment hoping that it would not be necessary, reluctant to undertake such a labor, certainly not necessary if all went as I hoped and prayed it would. Sadly, it did not; hence, here I be. In fact, here we all should be.

I have always operated within the belief that this world is in a permanent state of siege of Good by Evil, that humans must choose between the two. This idea has been validated. throughout the ages via fiction and nonfiction sources, via literature and philosophy. It is a belief coming through louder and clearer in modern writings. One is strengthened in this belief by the increasingly more common statements stressing that constant battle and its importance in our rather tempestuous world of ours.

I recently read a novel, one of a series, which on the surface is an entertaining story complete with returning characters with whom we become invested. Looking deeper into the prose, a must reading between the lines, there is far more to it. The reader's first choice is whether to stick with the surface story or delve within. Much easier to do the former than the latter. There was a segment running through a number of pages wherein the protagonists are faced with the challenge: to enter a dark place, a place known to fulfill one's darkest, deepest wishes or to remain safely outside. They observe from the outside but must enter into its dark place of Evil if they are to combat the Evil within, that which increases the rotting core of society. The author writes of a workshop, a dense darkness within, with only two doors in and out. Good and Evil. Will they enter this workshop? Can they? Will they find the right door of exit and emerge unchanged? Will they have undergone a voyage of the soul without damage, perhaps even with some benefit? One “made herself shake off the distracting thought... tonight was about catching a cold-blooded killer, to make the world a better place for those who could not fight for themselves."

Noble brave, dangerous and rewarding, perhaps not in the ways of the world, of amassing more wealth and power, for their reward was more intrinsic, a knowing that one did what was right, what was far more difficult. This society which they defended does not necessarily extend a thank you to them. That society, too often, rejects principles of the Good in favor of the advantages of Evil. Even as our protagonists travel on the right path overcoming the obstacles in their way, the rest of the society. remains lost.

It seems to be that humanity has lost, broken, or discarded properly functioning compasses and   directional devices. The maps being used have been altered, much to the detriment of a beneficial survival for Mankind.  Temptations and lures of attractive icon of evil drag us off course. Mankind must then navigate through a land of dangerous geography, always fending off other calls to stray further, to follow the wrong leaders, and Evil raises flags of triumph, Good defeated and weakened yet again.

I write all this in the midst of doing a Spring cleaning of my inner heart, soul, conscience and mind because none of us live in a vacuum. We are affected like it or not, in ways known or unknown by the world around us. Too often, things become relative. Good and Evil - absolute, or relative? That question remains eternal.  And so all this must be taken into account. Friday, yesterday were days of reading. I read lots of challenging material. Words of wisdom by others. And I am trying to digest them and find their relevance to me. This journey is ongoing. And actually, it feels good.

What will be the final result? I have no clue. I don't even know that there will be a final result. As I said. we live in times of change of constant flux. and adjustments must always be made lest we find ourselves lost in another new challenging world. Let us hope in that new challenging world in which we find ourselves enmeshed that finally, finally maybe hopefully we can get our remaining hostages returned to us alive to be with their families, to be whole again and our fallen, murdered slaughtered by Hamas return to honorable burial. Finally, let Peace, Shalom, Salaam reign in Israel and in the surrounding countries. In fact, let the Good conquer the Evil that encompasses so much of our world as we know it. Perhaps we can make it better or at least give it a try. Better us and better world.  

 

SERIOUSLY? DO WE EVER LEARN?

Heaven help us. I do not think that anybody knows the answer. Or can help us in reality. I don't know how we can take this “offer of release” seriously, and productively. In actuality, how many remain alive, even counting those who are barely, with us in this world, so damaged and abused are they, so eternally wounded in the living Hell into which they were thrust for over a year.

Their voyage into this Hell has taken an estimated 250 captives down to fewer than 33. 33!! Fewer is the total sum, the remnant of living women, males over 50, and the grievously wounded and/or ill.  The cries of those who have gone from us, the despair of their families, the despair of the nation, remains. Deep soul wrenching grief among the parents, the families, the wives, the children, the friends, the entire nation as we leave behind the 'men' - the boy soldiers, those men under 50. Until when? 

Will they ever be freed from their dank tunnels of Hell and Death, reeking of Evil Incarnate? Think not that we can trust these beasts to honestly account for and return all whom they have stolen.     Where is Shiri Bibas? Where is Yarden Bibas?Where are those two adorable baby boys of theirs, now, the babies of the nation. What is the truth off all of these captives, those alive, those dead, those missing? The Truth! When will we see all of them returned, alive or dead, entitled to an honorable internment. All the while salt is pouring continuously into our wounds as we free hundreds and hundreds of those worse than the beasts of the field serving life sentences for the terrorist murders they carried out against the people of Israel.

Is there a viable alternative? Will we have another chance to rescue even one more?  And so, we will agree to this emotional and existential soul rending blackmail for we have been left alone to swelter and weep.  This entire invasion into our communities, the slaughter resultant there and at Nova. A huge number of our best and brightest taken from us- has exacted a huge toll on the nation.  It has cost us the lives and the souls of so many. It has broken us. The truth of the matter is that for more than a year we have been living in a bottomless Hell falling ever downward. Ever and ever and ever again. No end in sight; only more grief and dark tunnel beneath and before us. Even as the darkness of Evil and Hate descend upon us and smother our very last breaths of hope.  

The question now arises as to why I write this in the midst of a deep dive into my soul. Perhaps because all that has gone on this year has had such an impact upon me that there is no separating it. My two nations. USA and Israel. For many a year now, they have engaged in a disastrous project of schism development. Digging deeper and deeper, wider and wider schisms into their respective national psyche. These schisms, growing ever deeper, ever wider echo within me and I find it is time, perhaps past time, to take stock of my thoughts and decisions. Do I stand on one side of the schism or another? Or do I perhaps engage in the building of a bridge, at least for some time, hopefully soon, when we can all carry on civil discourse, agree and disagree in a sane manner with open ears and receptive mind. Appreciate gems of positive approach presented and defined, a point of cooperation and progress, frustratingly so as we continue the difficult task - to fix this world of ours at the points where we caused damage. To take others across the divide with me, to the best of my ability. A tad presumptuous? Grandiose? Useless? I am one person, on the shady, growing shadier segment of life, but one must start somewhere, nor is there a retirement age for repairing that which needs mending. Even a tad. 

Mending must begin with oneself, an honest evaluation, a rendering of truth. Some will be better than others, but a start is a start. How can I do anything? I can still think. I'm capable of writing a cogent letter clearly expressing my thoughts, my agreement or disagreement, suggestions, ideas, complaints. Simple enough, I think. 'd also be brave enough to rethink out loud for I think better that way. Even as that thinking has some stinging edges to it.  

And so, here we are. Continued on the morrow - actually, Sunday. Shabbat Shalom, a good weekend for all and for the world as well. Especially for our hostages and their families. To a recognition that we are all the same beneath the skin, dream the same dreams, with the same emotions running through our veins, even as we lose sight of that simple truth too often and err. Would that we can build on that thought. Hope that the roiling atmosphere of these past few years has not inflicted irreparable wounds to us. Can we strive to set aside   evil ways into which we might have fallen or strayed and find our way back?   

Can I?

Can you?

HARD, VERY HARD

 Thinking of all the introspective thoughts digging deep into my soul, I wonder what my ancestors would have thought of this. Probably they would have both encouraged it and/or been amused by it, considering the rather more existential immediate stresses they faced. Much more than stress and threats, for the worst took place and on a personal level, hundreds of my extended family on both sides were wiped out, made to disappear as dust mites caught in a gale powered wind, helpless and hopeless, for the powers ranged against them were overwhelming and rescuers and aid scarce on the ground. 

Perhaps erroneously I believe that we, at least here in. the USA, are not at that level, fearing for our very lives, though frankly, for me and for so many others it is too close for comfort. Way too close. We are shocked to our innermost being by what has surfaced of late and the ugliness of it all. We thought, mistakenly, the remnant of vicious anti Semitism an outdated idea, remaining mainly in the countries of Europe and the Middle East. However, this has not been the case. 

Its ugly toxic contagion has spread like wildfire in a forest parched of moisture, spreading and reviving throughout the world as all seemed to climb merrily into the wagons of hate. Thoughts of a possibility of a renewed reinvigorated campaign of hate darkly tinged by genocidal vocalizations directed again, ever again at us, battered our minds to the point of negating all of our former thoughts, our confidence. Perhaps we were truly not safe in our homes as we and our institutions were under attack? Why once again did we hear shouts of hostility and resentment at our presence and invited to vacate, to "Go back where you came from"? When I was the recipient of said invitation, my Jewish star identifying me, my response was a very calm "Uh, that would be Brooklyn" and moved on, but it was a shock.   

 Foolishly, naively, perhaps dangerously, wrong we were. Here, in America, deafening echoes grew louder, more frequent. But still the question remained. Have we reached the point of an organized, fully subscribed campaign of genocidal   import? I believe not yet there, but too damned close for comfort. However, the difference between   our state and that of our ancestors is that ours is not real (yet?) while theirs was a constant, never-ending reality of attacks and growing limitations and isolation, with stated goals of elimination by any means. Here, in America and in other nations of the world who have some remnants of the better parts of humanity and guilt (?), there are now offices and people responsible to fight antisemitism, though never admitting it as having reached the level of JewHatred that it has. nor followed up the words with specific, meaningful, practical and effective short and long-term suggestions and solutions -if there are in fact, any.  

All the while, the true depth and infection of antipathy, of JewHatred, is never fully openly acknowledged, generally downplayed, even when it is unable to be anything else other than what it is.

By writing this in the middle of the self-directed examination of mind, hopefully it will be understood that the examination is almost like the many faces of Eve. All my points of identification have an effect and play a significant role, sometimes clashing with a loud bang of cymbals - the giant ones. Human. Aging (aged already), Woman. American. Educated. Last but not least, Jew. They could and in fact do, result in some significant contradictions, but then again, that is part of the state and definition of being human. Thus, in further postings these points of conflict will arise. 

 More tomorrow. 

In the meanwhile, stay safe and always keep in mind those in need of hope, of help. 

Our hostages and their families.  

Always keep in mind those who have been caught in the horrors of the egregious wars and conflicts. So rampant. So violent. All around the world.  

We are, none of us, the adults of the world, blameless, and of clean hands. None.

ROILING THOUGHTS

Each morning, I take a quick scan of the summary of yesterday's news and overnight events. Inevitably, I end up shaking my head wondering what the hell has happened in this world. I wonder why it has become so difficult to talk about one's feelings or reasoning or beliefs in delicate areas of life. For example, talk of Israel raises the pressure and temperature in the room, never mind the universe! 

There are many oh so very delicate 'tread light' topics and new highs and lows once unthinkable are becoming everyday events. Shock category bars are raised higher and higher even as we barely notice the cumulative change effected within us and society at large. People seem to have grown thicker skins when discussing possibility of empathy and sympathy, of rethinking one's position, and thinner skins when it comes to meeting a challenge to one's beliefs, even the opportunity to explain them. It is all seen as an attack by the enemy directly impacting you, aimed directly at your core. This totally negates any possibility of give and take, of moderation and compromise, of an understanding and recognition of the importance of shared traits and commonalities among humankind. And so, we continue on our not so merry ways, ignoring connecting roads and possible improvement in traffic patterns. We are all the worse for this.

Hence on to my own inner campaign to redefine and realign thoughts, manner of thinking, accepting a growing understanding that much as one would have it so, it is impossible to achieve any positive forward movement if we maintain the standard belief that is 'all or nothing'. That position is diametrically opposed and greatly hindering of any compromise and understanding of another's opinions. Nothing good ever comes of that.  All we do is fight and argue, literally and figuratively, and mess up the world even more than it is at present, 

Inevitably, the victim or the victor will feed into feelings of anger and being cheated and the whole ugly process begins once again. Machines of war are restarted. only this time with more devastating power. Bloodcurdling shouts of triumph override terrifying, heartbreaking cries of the dead   and dying, the horribly wounded, and those who mourn the grievous loss of loved ones and their former lives. At some point there will be those who recognize the futility of this constant back and forth battle, of this up and down without any gain, only loss. They will try to present the truth to the world. For all their efforts, they will be stomped upon, discredited and discarded. Back to steps one and two and three. Ad infinitum, ad (great) nauseum. 

Think not that these proposed peacemakers take their defeat lightly. They are human, hence their emotions, their anger, their anger, are piqued negatively. They become extreme in their words and in their demands. They turn supporters against them. Ironically, too often they find themselves fighting on the same side with a once upon a time enemy. This all bodes no good for civilization. It bodes no good for relations between nations nor in relations between members of a local society. When one sees the 'others' as something not human, somehow of lesser quality and importance, we are, again, fruitlessly, at it. At each other.  And once again, nothing good ever comes with this, only rising fears and tensions, increasing pressure upon society's defenses, ever more challenged and in existential danger.

 Here we are today in America. A once vibrant, glowing, ideal chasing, flawed nation. Replete with dreams and nightmares, but always sure that no matter how far apart we swing, the pendulum would always bring us back again. Together, to shared understandings and beliefs, to the status and condition of being American. A term of pride, a term which carried with it the implied command to share with each other and the world the bounty and privileges our country has conferred upon us, and the hard work necessary for that status, for that gift.

But we do not. Nor have we done so for too many years, decades even. We have. grown fractious and selfish. We make the demands with self interest in mind. We deny to others the privileges granted to our ancestors - to come to this country, to help build it, to make mistakes, to get past them, to grow, to breathe free. We project our fears upon them and make real what is not. As a result of this and other dystopian beliefs and projections of those beliefs, we have become a society tortured from within. We have delved deep into the abyss of that monster and taken on many of its characteristics. We eye each other with the eyes of an enemy. We refuse to grant any possibility that a germ of a good idea might exist within those with whom we are at constant battle.

A more open society would have avoided a Trump. Honest statements people made in 2016, before and after, would not have been rescinded and their souls denied. Evil has become real, tangible, and its ominous portent for our future allowed to thrive, rather than having been recognized, trashed. Set aside. Dangerous overblown clowns of disaster would have been kept in place, received no position of influence, and the outlook for our future would have been brighter, more hopeful, more optimistic.  We have so erroneously looked backwards to a time of ugliness, of schisms within society, and the inevitable bloodshed which followed immediately upon the footsteps of a challenged nation which could not see the forest for the trees.  

At this point, we are carrying a huge mortgage on our life as a nation. The interest rate is high with no possible anticipation of any realistic refinancing.  Our bills have come due. The question now remaining is do we have the courage to stand up and say the truth, speak the truth, know the truth. Can we carry it forth ahead, fight the Don Quixote battles awaiting us. Do we have the courage and stability to look within and assess honestly?

 I don't know. I really do not know. But as long as we cling to wrong leaders, cede ourselves and souls and independent thinking to those faulty flawed leaders, or hinge our acceptance of said faulty leadership, hinging it on one issue only, ignoring the reality of interwoven facts and aspects of life, impossible to artificially deny those connections, we will fail. Abysmally.

I have decided to continue the fight, even if friends and family might disagree with me. There are many others out there in the wider world who have spoken up, are on the same tracks with me. Even as I disagree with part of their ideas or platforms, I must do as I preach. I must sort through all the verbiage of all sides. and take from them the best of what they are. I must acknowledge there are valuable grains waiting to be reaped from all fields. We must see clearly through the pretenses and scams meant to harm us. If we pick and choose carefully, if we truly seek understanding, perhaps we can eventually achieve a true possibility of a good future for our kids. To find all within that is worthy, important, and necessary for an America worthy of that name.  I must be honest with and to myself, to strive to be the best I can be, to be faithful to myself and to lifelong beliefs. I must for otherwise I am not me.

More tomorrow

. Bear with me.

ACTUALLY, I DO NOT LIKE IT - NOT AT ALL

 I could leave it at that; actually, I cannot. My thoughts, emotions, and reasons as to why I feel this way are possibly reciprocated, mirrored or denied by those of others. All are equally valid in the minds of the thinkers - or not thinkers - and I will do my best to explain mine to readers of this blog, ever grateful that you do take the time to read it. Perhaps worth the traditional penny for a thought or maybe not, but ...

Yesterday I came across two new phrases to add to my lexicon. “Brain rot,” selected as the word of the year, as chosen by Oxford Languages, publishers the Oxford Dictionary, is defined as “The supposed deterioration of a person's mental or intellectual state, particularly stemming from over consumption of trivial online content.” (Woo! That could hit home.)   Proof of the pudding is out there for the taking. How quickly these new words, phrases and meanings infiltrate the lexicon of the world. How trite they quickly become, overused, denied and/or discarded in the newly fashionable contest of word meaning perversion. Perhaps it is a necessity today to be extra careful with our words even as we actually have become more careless, not paying attention to the 'new' meaning and import they present - or maybe we are paying attention and are on purpose, harm intended, making usage of the new definitions aimed just so at the intended targets. Brain rot in fact and deed. 

The world today is a mean one and consumes all it can; hence, the rather logical presentation of the phrase (and the truth of our time) which meshes intimately with brain rot - social contagion. That occurs almost on a daily basis as trends and fads swirl quickly into exponential numbers and affect. Most fade as quickly as they were born, but those which retain a vigorous life are the contributors to "social contagion", the 'catching' of nastiness, of hate, of all that is negative and determinedly harmful to others, even to the purveyors. Contagion implies infection and too many fallen victims and spewers of the awful social infection of its viruses of hate and stupidity, and voila! Social contagion. An ugliness laid bare. Its contents and imports so    contagious that fighting it is an uphill battle with many setbacks. World, I present you to yourself. 

It is within, by, and through this world that my opinions and decisions have been made. This is a world cruel and demanding much of its negligent caretakers and its inhabitants are too often suppressors of truth and beauty and love in the name of amassed power and wealth. It is a population motivated mainly by fear and by greed, selfishness and careless thought. Bad enough when people of little common sense or knowledge, people of no culture nor humanity rise to the top as the chief scum of said environment. Far worse occurs when others who know better, who are generally better, fall prey to the magnetism and machinations of the purveyors of Evil and then either stand by perhaps helpless, perhaps intentionally so, and/or actually aid in the growth of power for the inept, the inefficient, the corrupt. Yes, harsh, but if that proverbial shoe fits, we tend to march in it for too long a time. And do it so well!

The rather lengthy, but necessary introduction has made further posting(s) a must, at least for me and I reiterate, these are the foundations of my decisions, mine alone as presented on this blog. You can like or not like them. You can hate them. They might leave you puzzled or disgruntled. Disappointed or angry. Or, in the best of worlds, in full agreement. Hopefully, not indifferent.

People have called me ignorant, behind the times. Or prescient, knowledgeable and intuitive. (I hope far more of the latter.). I have been told I am pessimistic, probably so, but this is what I have learned from the world and the people living upon it. More important has been greatly resisted emotions and decisions which actually pain me. Some of them rip at my very core. Others might appear to be contradictory. Over and above all, perhaps about time, my rather thick and stubborn skull has been breached.

This infiltration has caused me great pain. It is difficult to let go at least to a degree of some precepts and concepts I once thought invincible, impermeable, eternal truths. Yet that is not so. I now understand and admit that there is truth in the thought that no cause, NO CAUSE, is blameless, 100 % perfect. Not in dreams and conceptions nor in actualizations and realizations. Achieving perfection or as close to it as we can is a necessity, but also an impossibility. Man is imperfect.; hence anything arising from imperfect man must have a flaw, an imperfection within, hidden or glaringly obvious. Trust me, these insights are harsh and cruel, extremely uncomfortable, hitting at long held and cherished beliefs.

 Most people tend to stick to one side or the other, but I feel a necessity, a burning within me, at least to find a way to mesh my beliefs, to take from all and grow clearer, more comfortable 'soulwise' decisions, allowing myself to breathe free again.    

Before I end today's posting, know that I will continue tomorrow until my thoughts are clearer in my mind, to me and you. Nor are they immutable, for change is always possible and ever a source of hope.

For those of you who think I have lost my marbles, no, I still retain most of them. I think. I hope.

 I have not become a robotic loyalist follower of Trump and Trumpism, (UGH- anathema to my soul), finding only one thing within his awfulness to agree with (and time will tell the truth of that).

 Nor have I abandoned Israel, my eternal home and the inheritance of my people. A home of mine well on the way to becoming a reality. At last. 

Hang in there with me on this journey,      

See ya' tomorrow.