While on the Subject

  ...I must continue for I have found within me that which both dismays and elates me at the same time. Of course, nothing is until push comes to shove and action is demanded - or denied - but still, there must be an internal debate before the matter crystallizes in actual reality rather than virtual. Reality is that which can turn cowards into heroes and heroes into cowards and there cannot be any talk of condemnation or approval unless one has been in exactly the same situation to a T. When opinion does come into play it will be more debated in a relative versus absolute manner, for what is done, is done and cannot be undone. What was not done has lost the momentum of the moment, hence it has a difference in content and relationship.  

In any case, all I can do is discuss my own reality and my own internal discussion as I never have faced such situation in actuality and hope I never do.  That situation of active revenge, the actuality of it, is challenging to say the least, as also is the manner of that revenge.

 There is always a question of accuracy, that you are getting the right person. I think that is a null and void question for me for if I were to take any actual physical revenge on someone, it would probably be in the heat of the moment, at a time when immediate action is necessary. As an aside, if my life were at stake or that of a loved one or an ally, I would do so without a moment of uncertainty.  That is in terms of physical revenge, assuming capability of physical strength to do so. 

 However, there are other revenge aspects, such as ensuring that the person is brought to justice, stands trial and receives the harshest sentence possible, even unto death, if that is merited. It is within that act of legal revenge that I can see myself more clearly. Even so, I cannot totally void the reality of any physical capability of doing so. In addition, one is as complicit as if one struck the blow if we were the ones to urge and push the one wielding the weapon to strike that final blow.  

However, I do think, strongly, that I could not, would not, be able to strike unless driven to do so by an extreme vicious, intolerable action or inaction of said enemy.  Always front and center in this debate not only for oneself, but for others, we must factor in the truth: that one never knows one's capability in a dire extreme situation until one is. I cannot even begin to fathom the heroism, the thoughts, the self-sacrifice of people in the attacks of Oct 7 within the embattled communities.  Anywhere in which people sacrificed their own lives in useless attacks against the Hamas animals so as to safeguard the lives of others, families or those with them.  Even after the family escaped, to continue fighting, is that considered a violation of the rules of engagement particularly within this twisted attitude towards Israel to the point of denial of right to self-defense! 

At this point one is running on two powers - that of emotion and that of cold thought and appraisal. They can be used to conflict and cancel each other, or they can be merged in understanding, evaluation and judgement. While I can vicariously share the emotions and the urgency of the moment, if it is possible to stay one's hand and pursue justice within the courts, I believe that is the better way. It is critical information to convey to the outer world. It is a path which allows for more people to receive their just judgment and is validated by history of the past, present and analyzation by historians of the future. White revenge. White revenge rather than red revenge. I believe it would be far more soul satisfying in range and extent of justifiable and justified revenge. And the whole lot easier to live with.

Why do I even carry this discussion and self- evaluation at this point? Because as far off as the possibility of it is, I will soon be living in extended days in a place of residence within striking distance of beasts. I sincerely hope the probability is near zero. However, all my life, I have believed in being prepared, knowing what could possibly be, or hopes to be, or not to be. To be prepared. Guns I do not have. Reenforced doors and locks - Yes. Knives, yes. Courage? I hope never to be thus tested.

For the rest of the day, I will immerse myself in the necessities of life and relegate some of the thoughts to the back burner so as to better enjoy the day. For the moment. For that is, in fact, all that we have.

On the Morrow I hope to return to an original track from which we segued. Having more to do with aspects of religion, the metamorphosis of religion and what it has meant to me and many others. It certainly has been the causality of much thought, much anguish and many, many demands. From all sides.

Again - on the morrow.

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM ...

But not really when you think about it. This 'interruption' of my journey of self-understanding    is actually part and parcel of the entire process. Its reality provides confirmation of some of my thoughts already expressed in prior postings. Its ugliness and horror so oppositional to what humanity should be, should strive for, should practice, must be felt within every molecule of every being on this planet. 

Unfortunately, when something so terrible is discovered and spoken of, it finds a home within too many people, spreads in viral manner by some contagious gene approving of cruelty, brutality, and inhumanity. Bestial hearts glom onto it and determine to mimic such horror and find targets within their own nation and even round the world. It is then celebrated and mimicked by others of no souls all the while the cries of victims rend the air even as the majority of humanity excuses, ignores, approves, or 'explains' the inexplicable. 

Yesterday's New York Times contained a large feature of the terror and hopelessness that is the life of the Rohingya people. Chased out of their own land, chased into the lands of others, there seems to be no respite for them. One of them expressed this horror in simple, but powerful words. “Everyone hates us. Why? We did nothing to them." It is yet another manifestation of other murderous campaigns waged by the Hutu against the Tutsi in Rhodesia or the Uigurs in China or the Moslem mob army against Christians in Nigeria and Sudan, the bloodcurdling terror of citizens of Haiti as gangs run murderously, savagely amok, or Jews around the world. In lesser manner, not fully developed - yet - though there already have been incidents of slaughter, that possibility is glaring a barbaric red re the attitude of the world's nations towards immigrants. Shamefully so and growing exponentially, encouraged by the incoming Trump administration in the USA with threats and visions of uniformed creatures rounding up families, lone children, dragging them from homes, shoved into trucks and held in huge 'holding' camps. Shame on us.

 When a group is deemed unacceptable, unworthy of life they become the lepers of society They are chased from pillar to post, denied all rights and all manner and matter of existential basis and support. These campaigns of dehumanization inevitably without exception rise or sink to the depth of murder, sanctioned murder and its participants and adherents and supporters then go home to families and kiss their wives and husbands and children. And the tears of the Lord above and His angels sear the land below, draining the land of its benefits for His creations and yet humanity continues on its bloodstained path with ponds and rivers and seas of blood awaiting them. Terrible too is the trend of the victims of these bloody campaigns, should they gain the upper hand, is to do the same. No end in sight, is there? 

What can one do? It is basic instinct to take account and repay accounts for what was inflicted upon them.

 " ...grim details of abuse of hostages, including whipping, branding with heated iron, isolation, binding, starving, maltreatment and psychological torment"

And more.

 " ...systematic sexual, physical,  and psychological torture of captives, along with intentional starvation, branding of skin with hot metal objects, and refusal of medical treatment."

How is one to feel as emotions take over the thought process within.

"Raped, starved, branded, and left in total darkness – ex-hostages reveal horrors of Gaza captivity"

 Can one be logically asked or expected to remain sane and without strong deep urges to return blow for blow? How are the people of a nation to react when members of their family are delivered back dead? Or suffering from wounds and horrors never ever to be healed or the howl of anguish of the people of Israel if, G-d forbid, the Bibas Baby Boys are not returned whole and safe. How is that initial urge to take revenge to be tamped down? Should it even be tamped down? 

And now here I am, as are many others. Who are we? What is our composition of heart and soul, of morals and justice? Are we capable of waiting for justice to claw back what was taken? But some things cannot be called back. The dead do not rise again, the torture is not 'untortured', the scars of the soul remain even if the scars of the body might fade Are years in prison enough particularly in view of the fact that it is now policy to kidnap others, to redeem those of yours taken? It is now a political tool, a tool of war taken for granted. With shrugs of shoulders and an okay, let's get to it again.  

 Who would I be? Who am I? Would I be one of those whirling stick or knives or weapon, seeking someone, anyone and hope to alleviate, lessen the pounding of revenge within me, within all who are traveling and running alongside me? Is not that feeling, that necessity, justified? Can I not understand or believe that in such circumstances bloody revenge vigilante justice is righteous? Have we not been fed story after story, movie after movie, of such justice as we sit and cheer as we watch?

Who am I? Who are you? Who are we all? Are morals and principles to be taken in relative terms or are they absolutes? No matter the justification that can be found. But this is not just about me any longer for it is about all of us. With all of my recent introspection I cannot deny that much as I am anti violence perhaps revenge violence is the right thing to do in this case. Certainly, there would be a sense of self-satisfaction, but would that turn cold in the light of day and rethinking. And then what? Then what?

Yesterday and today, the 4th and 5th candles of a joyous, victorious holiday of survival and national rejuvenation, stand out in my life as days of mourning. On the 4th light of Chanukah my dad passed into a better world, there to await his beloved Blanchie, his wife, my mom. I miss him today 20 years later as I did that day, but he died in the fullness of time, as we all do. and grief is understandable but manageable

On the other hand, the 5th candle of Chanukah is the light of my grandson, Yitzy, since memorialized many, many times over. The current issue of Mishpacha. Renaming of a street in Pittsburgh for him. The dedication of a new high school campus in his name. In the writing of a Torah in his name as he requested. With city officials, including the mayor, Yitzy's baseball team, and neighbors joining the parade to the school where it now resides as Yitzy's Torah. In our memories, an unbelievably magnificent, pure soul ripped from within our hearts, leaving behind a hole never ever to be filled.  

 Where and how am I supposed to take revenge for this loss? What is the "proper” way in which to mourn and accept? Can I ever accept this 13 year child gone after a heroic one-year pain filled battle, as his last words were of his G-d and his love of family.

I cannot find an answer for the questions of today. Perhaps on the Morrow, the many Morrows to come. 

  

WHO AND WHAT

Who are we as individuals and as a group, a people? What do we owe each other and to ourselves? We must be clear about this, for if not, others will tell us exactly who we are and what is owed to us by them, from them and we will have little to say about it. Bullies are cowards and step back when challenged or defied and are surprised when that opposition manifests itself. It is a great shock to their system when that happens and that challenge must be mighty and consistent, not wavering or weakening, for if so, the bullies will return, more confident in their chances to prevail over all opposing forces.  

One ingredient necessary for successful challenge is unity of the opposing forces. Signs of disunity, cracks appearing, becoming public knowledge, serve the enemy well as they insert wedges within those cracks, broadening them until repair and regrouping are impossible. The inevitable result: enemy 1, home team 0, game over. Thus, the understanding must be deep within, that disunity and discord are our worst enemies, serving the named enemies well.

Why is this important? It is historical fact and truth that in the history, our history, of the Jewish people inner discord and vitriolic relations have brought about our downfall time and time again. We argue so loud against each other that we drown out the noise of the enemy breaking down our doors, crushing our people beneath their booted feet and thus ensues times of domination, grief and tragedy, for decades to come. Either too stupid or too stubborn, the lesson we need to learn from our history has never been caught. Certainly not truly and permanently even as it should be engraved in our bones and part of the very marrow of our souls.

Time, and time again we have allowed sinat achim, hatred between brothers, to bring our people down. To be sent into exile into a Diaspora lasting multiple millennia where we are surrounded by those with ungodly determination to see us gone, no holds barred, no end in sight. Even when it appears the lesson is learned, it is for a short time as success breeds discord. 

The differing factions within our people inevitably allow differences to grow, to become bitter and incompatible in our minds. We forget who the enemy is in truth, and begin instead to target our family members, disregarding the relevance and importance of that relationship. Inevitably, our enemies see the cracks visible in size and seize their opening to storm in and defeat us in repetition of an ugly, historical truth.

I believe we are suffering from an overabundance of inbreeding and assimilation at one and the same time. A large fraction of our people has turned inward of its own making and desire, concentrate solely on solidifying their dominance of the people and condemn those who oppose or refuse to pay any attention to their words and demands, who follow their own stars. 

The disagreement grows so large, becomes so bitter, that lost in the dust is the important principle of unity, of knowing we are one and face the same fate together. In so forgetting, unfortunately too often, one of the factions extends feelers to the true enemy and unites with them. They stand with them. They shout with them. Once again, we enable our enemies and they rejoice as we suffer, and the pendulum of destruction swings ever lower over our national entity. A tragedy of historical repetition, seemingly inevitable.

The other idea, the trend or the theory of assimilation and the supposed safety it provides as we disappear into society is also wrong. By assimilating to a huge degree, we do indeed disappear, or do we? By ceding all that makes us who we are, we are acquiescing in our own disappearance. We weaken our ties, tear the sinews of our commonalities, of our history, our nation.  Even as we do so, thinking we have done one over the enemy, we have not. To them, always, we are seen as one, no matter the degree of observance or lack of ritual and connection, no matter the DNA percentage. 

They ramp up their bloody campaigns against us, taking advantage of our weaknesses, our lack of unity and shared defenses. Within those of this group, there too are those who join with the enemy, choosing the temporary over the permanent and side with the haters. Unite with them - until they are discarded, used up. Once again, we are lost. 

Time and again. We never learn, never internalize the importance of unity, of shared understanding, of knowing who we are. To comprehend deeply the lessons of our history and accept that we can break the ugly, bloody cycle, repair the present and build a better future for ALL of us, all Jews, of all opinions and degrees, and be accepting rather than not, nor barring the door to the those we find objectionable as they do not fit within our preferred mold. 

We are so few, so outgunned so to speak, surrounded by filths forever perpetrated upon us, of persecutions tragic and harrowing, whose echoes never fade. Unity. Acceptance. Valuing all. Acknowledging our brotherhood, even as we might differ. We are all Jews. Together in history and fate. Like it or not, deny it or not.

History has taught us so. It is time, way past time that we learned that lesson, caught it deep within our souls and etched it upon our hearts.

It is this state of mind and being which irritates and confuses me, which drives me and sets me to wondering as to how and where I fit within the spectrum of Judaism. Do I accept all I have been taught, or   challenge some or all of it? Do I change some or all of it? What are the issues roiling and boiling within? Will it necessitate a complete cleansing of all, a total rewrite, or can I find a place where past and present thinking can be melded and form a stronger, deeper, surer entity of thought?  Can I find that place for me? Will I be able  to reconcile hard blows, inexplicable abominable ones, with strong faith and understanding? Is there strength within to do so?

I believe so and, on the morrow, will go further, I hope, in positive manner and result.

On the morrow.

 

UNDERGROUND WITHOUT OXYGEN

 The title is part of a statement made by Aviva Siegel, a former hostage of Hamas, whose husband remains in captivity, held in horrific conditions, "underground, with no oxygen", as did she and all, those freed and those remaining. It is a frightful, horrific, never should be situation and yet it continues, over a year, with no clear possibility or reality of freedom, a return to family and friends, to a nation, to life.  The reality of this goal is slim, as we deal with those consumed by hate and enmity, who have long ago kicked to the curb any and all moral principles of humanity and simple decency.

Adding to this horror, draining ever more oxygen from the air, are those from within our people who choose to stand with the enemy, shoulder to shoulder, calling for the demise of Israel and of Jews in general. They call for their own death, for in fact, they are one of us, and so they will remain, no matter the efforts made to deny. In the meanwhile, oblivious, they add to the imminent peril facing us, as they contribute harmfully, to the growing chasms within our nation.  The bite of betrayal from those within, from whom we expect support and understanding, to stand with us, side by side, is most venomous of all.  

 Why these paragraphs in the midst of self-discovery? Simple. That feeling of no oxygen, unable to take a deep breath to sustain one in life is the condition affecting Judaism and Jews today. When one is engaged in a long, long existing, ever extending, ever growing fight, one begins to breathe hard and heavy. Shortness of breath. A tightness in the chest. A growing fear in the mind. Is this going to be the constant everyday situation and emotions and realities for our people or might we ever find our way back? To breathing slow and steady, calmly, death no longer a very real near upon us, right before our eyes, actuality.

 What and where is the connection?  There are two paths before us, two main paths which explain this feeling. One is the fear emanating from outer enemies, those who hate us, who continue to wish us gone for good, to wipe us and our history out. To deny any and all contributions we have made throughout history to the people of this world. That path and reality is hard enough and too often causes people to walk around with their shoulders around their ears, in protective stance, most uncomfortable. But there it is, and we have taken up, shall we say, arms against it, are demanding our fair share of this world, no longer to be a point of contention, to be questioned. To breathe of the oxygen of this world. 

Will we be successful in those battles? That is up in the air and swings back and forth. We have finally begun to coalesce around this imperative: We either fight and stand together or we are diminished and demolished one by one. We need to organize, concentrate, at faster pace for this is the existential challenge from the outside.

The other path is one that is yet more difficult for without repaving, all of the above paragraphs will become reality. It will simply be impossible to respond, to be reactive and proactive, to respond to their challenge with one voice. We need to remind those foolish enough to set their goal in life as the extermination of the Jewish people and the demise of Israel, they will face a solid shield wall to oppose, to negate them and their nefarious plans. How exactly can we do that, disunited and fractured as we are?   

We repair those fractures. We do not lay paper over but fill in and cement over denying air and light needed to invigorate and reappear. These fractures are and will be the causatives of our shattering to bits, to our demise if we do not change our ways. We need to stop, take a step back and see our present path and how we got here. Look forward with understanding and know the imperative of revision within ourselves as individuals and as a nation, united as one, strong and prevailing over our foes, within and without. Unless we engender the necessary changes, and soon, we will lose the final battle. Look to the past, even today, last week, last year, last decade, and see how pervasive this hatred of us is and towards us in actuality. It is not only the cowardly masked and villain in the dark, the unknown and anonymous, but could be as close as your neighbor. One might knock down the sand menorah or one might help rebuild and keep it the next year. It is imperative that we know our friends and our enemies and be able to separate them, see them clearly. 

This is a war, stated or not, but must be acknowledged as such. Nor is it new for thus is our history. Now is the time to recognize and oppose.   First and foremost, though, is thus: WE MUST FIRST ASSESS OURSELVES, WHAT WE MUST DO. ATTEND TO AND MEND OUR WOUNDS AND REPAIR THAT WHICH IS TORN, MEND AND REINFORCE, ENHANCE AND STRENGHTEN THE ENTIRE PACKAGE.       

We begin with what has been an internal eternal problem of the Jewish people, and the ever-growing, ever ongoing evermore serious fractures in the debate and rivalry between Religion vs religion and their vociferous adherents.  

 On the morrow of the morrow, I hope you will continue to accompany me on my rather intimidating journey of discovery and challenge. 

CHRISMIKANEKAH - REALLY?

  So here I am in the middle of spring cleaning or refreshment of my soul all the while the media, ever so cleverly - or not - is bombarding the airwaves with stories of 'Chrismikanekah'. A joyous new holiday or rather a joining of two old holidays to find new shared meaning, shared new observances, to join the two holidays. Apparently, this melding of the two holidays will fulfill our souls, filling a gap somewhere, a gap that I for one never knew I had.

 This is all part and parcel of the reigning attitude towards Jews and Judaism these days. It is a mound of verbiage attesting to the intent to combat anti- semitism, to turn back the tide of hideous JewHatred now inundating this entire nation, this entire globe. Unfortunately, within this intent is to be found a rather perturbing thread of thought. That is to stress our commonalities and glide over the differences and in doing so we weaken the Jewish tradition in the name of unity and kumbaya! Even the origins of these holidays are glossed over even as they are strong components of both religions.

Christmas celebrates, at its core, the birth of Jesus, a Jew, who has been denied his Jewish roots over    centuries as his people were hunted and persecuted over the millennia, accused of and 'punished' for his death, even as the precepts he preached were right out of the Handbook for the Practice of Judaism. This holiday and all that followed were celebrated in great measure with raised temperatures of antagonism, fevered promotion of violence and the inevitable pogroms to follow, which consistently shattered the Jewish communities of the Diaspora. The only way out, for survival, was conversion, the shedding of all Judaic ties -practices, traditions, family, and even that was not enough to still that nagging suspicion of remaining taint, the 'stain' impermeable, immutable, and modernized via the genetics of Hitler.

Chanukah, on the other hand is a holiday which celebrates the survival of the Jewish tradition, the Jewish people remaining true and avoiding assimilation to the point of evaporation in many cases and I must admit, understandably so. Underlying the drive of assimilation, of disappearing into the anonymity of the culture of the time, provided relief from threats of maiming and murder of self and family, and provided a doorway to fulfillment of a dream, the end of strictures imposed via religion or politics.  Safety, prosperity, what could be bad about that?!  

In fact, all of the above provided cause, reason, and actuality of the shedding of anything and everything connected with being a Jew. Positive   were the effects of this drive to assimilate, even to the point of conversion, to the point of the abnegation of the obligation of any and all Jewish practices and rituals, of identification with the Jewish people. There too was a terrible consequence, inevitable, of self-hatred, of total denial to the point of joining with the enemy, shouting for your own death, for that was the inevitable dead-end highway. 

I can hear the shocked voices, the wide-open eyes in reaction to the words of above. No, I do not advocate total separation as that too has ugly consequences. It generates ignorance, Ignorance needs to Susceptibility, to Falsehoods, outrageous, and fostering of hate of the unknown, the unfamiliar, and cynical use of such for nefarious gains and never mind the evil of which it reeks or the 'collateral' damage accompanying it. 

As a matter of fact, I actually encourage friendship with those of another faith and, though total anathema to many, there is a necessity of warm friendships and relationships with those of the Jewish faith, though not perhaps observing exactly as you do, or have varied thoughts re faith vs. Faith, Religion vs religion.  

Bottom line. The entire world is a salad bowl with ingredients differing over the globe. It matters not, for that salad is a blessing, the various tastes distinguishable, even as a beautiful whole, a       . new whole, is created, same yet different. Individuality celebrated and unity valued. 

Melding, on the other hand, requires cancellation of individuality, shedding all that enhances the salad, ceding all to a resultant dull mass incapable of independent thought, of discerning or creation of   a forward path. Inevitably there is resistance and dissension, the melded salad breaks apart, and there we are again, all over again, back to the beginning again. And aren't we proud.   

Seemingly, we human ingredients prefer to leave the salad, the strenuous efforts necessary for its viability and continued good taste. Instead, we build walls of misunderstanding and glaring lack of religion, and Faith in a Power greater and above all.  We have lost Faith even as we bought into Religion. That Religion cancelled religion and Faith, along with much of the goodness we had learned over the years. Biases, hatreds returned and once again we, the Jews are at the front lines.

 I admit, my Faith was definitely adversely challenged, for many reasons, so tired of it all, the repetition, the senselessness, the unable to be explained or understood, to be accepted. So many have become cynical, observe Religion rather than religion, receiving little encouragement to soul and heart, of replenishment and nourishment vital to that seeking soul, and selfishly, I need it so.

I seek a strengthening off Faith, and a vital, attractive, empowering religion as opposed to the weak soup of Religion, for it fills not my soul, the gaping holes still calling out to be mended, made whole. This journey of mine is not demeaning or denying the fulfillment felt by others within current structure. I am happy for them, but I need and seek something other, a deepening of an already there Faith, of religion over Religion - not too optimistic there.  There is too much Chrismikanaka  for me.     

 I am tired of such thinking, of a demanded, spoken or implied acceptance which requires a lessening of my "Jewishness". I am tired of those who prefer to remain in a closed circle, unaware that there is a world out there which has a great deal of influence and effect upon their little closed world. For all, to ignore reality as it is, is dangerous. It creates a synergy of an aura stained with virulent, toxic words and emotions. It is depressing to think this is the world we are leaving for our little ones, as we insist on taking steps in reverse direction and thoughts.  

I continue to seek, to read, to confer, to discuss, and most of all to think.

On the morrow.    

THE STRUGGLE, EVER ONWARDS

  Before I forget, there will be no blog tomorrow as early flight will prevent it. New post on Dec. 26, and in the interim catch up on missed postings.  I wish all a Happy Holidays, a blessed New Year, a better year, though of that there is much doubt.  Now on to the new posting, 

It is quite eerie to find time and time again, the power of the phenomenon of groupthink. Unfortunately, however, this group thing tends to be either of little importance with little effect or initiates one of mass(ive) effect, all to the negative It is when you find a plethora of similar, even identical, plots in newly published books, in the movies, on TV, in the print and online news and related sites, all the talking heads. 

What is the cause and is there, in fact, a causative factor? If so, from whence does it come? Is it in the water, the air, in some kind of transmission?   I have no answer of certitude and common-sense explanation, other than the unacceptable flights of fancy from some, or the relevance, the timeliness of religion this time of year. Absolutely possible. but there is a difference. The articles. this year are awash with the negative, the worrisome and worried.  

Throw in the usual sop that religion will lead the way into a golden era and there you have it. Perhaps, maybe even possible, though doubtful at best. Does it take into account the history and the consequences of installing religion within the ranks of governmental factors? History shows it was quite negative, more so as one religion was ranked above all, resulting inevitably in inter and intra religion and religious fighting, from top to bottom. Extremists and cynics ran the Religion and the true Faith within any religion was lost. Rare voices   of unity and tolerance, of commonalities and care, were quickly shut down, silenced, ridiculed, labeled as an enemy of the state.  

I for one would prefer to leave religion out of government. It crushes the soul and has no business there. It conflates religion and faith, apples and oranges, for Faith is an individual undertaking while religion is more of a communal undertaking and the two do not necessarily walk lockstep with the other.  It is a difficult concept for people to accept, understand and practice. From that difficulty arises the religious woes and wars of history, over large and small issues, even silly ones. All becomes magnified under the magnifying glass of Religion at its worst.   

Some nations of the world do have a state religion. Some are more successful with it and others are more oppressive with it. But inevitably, the stricter the Religion, the more it imposes upon people who do not follow the rules as the authorities see it, the more unrest and resentment there will be. Degrees of "seen and observed" begin to count more than the Faith which was to be bolstered and strengthened by the structure of religion. 

If there is a state religion then the more it interacts in a positive manner with other religions found within that same state, the better the atmosphere. More people will be drawn to Faith, even to a formal religion both of which allowing them to breathe free and believe in such manner which sits comfortably upon their shoulders and in their hearts. People should be free to choose or deny, as long as there is no imposition on those who do not follow, at least outwardly, the state religion as stated and declared by a mix of Religious and political personnel who do not necessarily have the welfare of the state and its inhabitants as their first priority. 

If a situation of imposition of One version. is occurring, it is then that religion and faith collide, unable to live beside and with each other. Suddenly those who disagree are labeled the enemy and the animosity grows to unbelievable and harmful levels. The reins of power are fought over. There is a rising volume, of higher decibels of hate and toxic language, morphing into emotional and physical abuse of the worst kind. The boundaries apparently become elastic, and the precepts of morality are trampled underfoot. 

Even with the best of intents, when religion becomes Religion, Faith loses. Friendship, kinship all such ties are weakened. And for what? Does it really matter how I sing when I worship? Or how I stand or if a ritual somewhat differs? If these variations are not of harm to others even as they serve to strengthen Faith via religious rituals encouraging of that goal, why the almost crazed opposition?  

This is not heretical thinking, merely asking, wondering, why it is that religion has been drained of the juice of enjoyment and fulfillment, of participation, and open welcome to children, as they join in prayers and presence in synagogue. Is it that they would then witness our rushed prayers - dry, mumbled, begun late or early, so as to limit the time taken for prayer? Stifle voices raised in unison, joined in praise of the Lord? Is it any wonder or mystery why attendance for formal prayer sessions has lessened among too many? Why do we stress the attitude of the stricter, more condemning of observances as the better path to follow, abjuring the Talmudic precept that the wiser one is he who discerns within an easement rather than the one who only demands and finds restrictions.       

The words above are to be found in my thoughts, percolating, wondering, questioning. As are and do many others, for I am not alone within these worries and concerns. There is more to follow for me and for my readers, a more individual basis, on this and more. But it is a woe upon us all if we as a group, if religions as a group, do not find the proper path, the more encouraging and truer path. The one which allows for a future. The one which will encourage religion over Religion, of Faith over faith. We must create a better path, one of more inclusivity and accommodation of differences. One which celebrates the similarities and together we join with joy to pray to the Lord. Within the structure of our religion and a positive and powerful Faith. 

To understand that the Lord we call by many names is one and the same, and frankly not too happy with us all these days. Proof of the pudding? Check out the state of global and national affairs. The Ugliness perpetrated in the name of Religion and faith in. Shame on us all.   

More on the morrow of the morrow.     

COINCIDENCE? GREAT MINDS? (LOL)

Yesterday morning I picked up the papers and sat down to read them. Suddenly, amazingly coincidentally, I came across a two-page long article re faith and religion and belief. It contained the journey of a well-known opinion piece writer as he sought for something, that necessary but unknown something critical to a better or rather a more complete life, of meaning, for many - and certainly for me. Unknowing of a name for it, unable to be defined in clear and explicit terminology, it remained as a "je ne seis qua" and the quest for it continued unabated.    

What was belief? What was faith? What is religion? What is the connection amongst and between all three? Is there a God? Is God paying attention to us? Does the idea of a soul play a role? In his, mine and in the journey of all mankind must we be able to point fingers at some concrete reality? Able to be seen and touched and or heard? Or might we take a step into certainty that there are 'things', credos, tenets, call them by any name, but something - a Being, a Power, in existence, due to the existence of other beliefs or are we fooling ourselves? His thoughts and mine tangled around each other and raged around my head for hours.

 As he did, as I often do when seeking understanding and or confirmation of a topic, a thought, an issue, I consulted the words of others. Over the years I have collected the works of many toiling under the weight of questions and answers, the latter definitely more problematic in formation and acceptance - or not. From the rabbinical to the secular, from the famous to the unknown, specifically and randomly, I read them. I chewed them. Some was indigestible. Other parts were more acceptable, but never did I have a coalescing of beliefs and trends of thought firm enough to draw a line under it all and mark it as complete, satisfied with the journey's results.

Over the years and there are many, this quest remained mine, shared with very few. It was too private. Too intense. Too personal, too individualized. Nor did I wish to be faced with outside pressures, to conform or disagree per the direction of others, nor to apply pressure to another to conform with me. 

In seeking and questioning, wanting greater clarity in my mind, always there was one item of permanence, developed and well implanted within me after an initial questioning. Was there a Being, a Power, above all and did I fully buy into that idea? Without the completion of that phase, it would have been impossible to continue, to question and answer, to find that which made me stronger, able to remain standing in life in the face of monster winds. and heavy body blows. 

I could not have begun or continued further on that journey without the initial question's answer becoming ironclad, concrete and immutable in my mind - there is a G-d, a Power, over all else. That certainty became the foundation stone of my life. It has enabled me to travel further, over miles and miles, ahead, refining and clarifying.  Even as I faced challenges and periods of anger at this Being, always that permanence, that Presence, remained as comfort and support beam on this difficult highway of life. It remained firm and steady, attached to the bedrock of life.  

 These first steps were not taken alone, but rather with the aid of a teacher of an open mind and heart. Who walked and talked with me, through rusty gates and rocky roads. I trusted that teacher. I knew he had a strong faith, had undergone much in his own life. I needed to know why. What was my connection to that faith? Why should I believe in the face of the history my people, seemingly never ending.  

There was no condemnation. No disgust. No condescending. No anger. No expressions of disappointment or guilt laying. It was hours and hours of quiet talk and deep thought, challenges. and rewards. And finally, the coalescing. of answers into a unit I could internalize and keep hold of - always. He asked piercing questions while pushing me to my limits, to formulate better, more precisely, to understand the boundaries of my mind. What I could accept and keep with me as I traveled more miles of this lifelong road. To know that over the course of life one's understandings can change, can morph one way or another, back and forth, but always, that one steady belief, will serve as the bearing wall of my life, always there to lean upon, to grasp, to pull myself up from where life had decked me.

The journey had finally reached the First Station of a train route begun way back in 3rd grade. There I first began to question the teachers, the rabbis, for I did not understand nor accept the explanations and the pablum fed to us in response. Why had our forefathers and foremothers behaved and spoken so? It was manifestly wrong. We were children and they were adults so why did they sink to those levels? When I questioned, I was fobbed off.  Unfortunately, that remained the status quo for too long.  It was only in high school that I found one who would listen with patience, an open heart, an incisive mind, willing to hear and understand and not condemn.  More important, this person gave me the courage, the approval, the confidence to carry on. So I have done. And so I continue. For better or worse.  

More on the morrow.   

SO, WHAT'S CHANGED?

   A lot and a little, probably always evolving, for there is little in this strange new world of ours that remains static. The situation is often fluid and is better approached with relativity in mind rather than in stiff immutable absolutes. That does not mean the foregoing and abjuration of all principles and beliefs, but rather an understanding that as situations evolve so must we at times if we are to survive and prosper.

 That is neither shocking nor heretical, for all that makes up society and civilization has undergone change. Some of it has been almost immediate and others have evolved, been a long time coming. Civil rights, the understanding of the relationships between society and its various components, religious laws, attitudes in general, have all changed. They have been amended, nourished or discarded over time. Some have proven to be of benefit, positive and impelling of forward movement, while others are neutral or even backwards in direction and intent.   

Society and individuals are rarely struck by lighting and moments of sudden epiphanies, inspired to change thoughts, opinions and actions on a dime. The changes might arise via a backlash to what is current belief or imposed belief, or to times when people and society appear to be calcified in attitude and thought, opposed to any and all change. Neither extreme is positive, for change is more accepted when its "rightness" is clear and understood for individuals and society as a whole. In many cases these changes face challenge, weak or strong and this all must be factored into the equation, into the wording, into a time span, allowing for growth and change, of acceptance or rejection. 

Even as society itself is in upheaval these days, a roil and a boil with conflict. and outrage, with self-inflicted wounds, so too are the individuals which make up society. There is a great deal of confusion, certainly within myself, as to exactly when, why and how there were effected these negative changes to the gestalt of society as we know it. As we knew it, certainly here in the United States and within the Western nations of the world. We had progressed to a point where we accepted the humanity of most people, willingly or not. We had begun to understand better the mutually shared responsibilities of society and its components to and from each other.   

Without warning, the world turned on a dime. In a sharp, almost uncontrollable speed, we veered off the road on which we had been traveling. We became lost. Poles shifted. The very air we breathe seemed to have changed. Nothing was as it was, or at the minimum was on its way out. We shouted at each other not hearing a word. We closed our eyes and our minds to all that should have stung us greatly, deeply.  Radical voices and change began to dominate. and left many bodies behind with more to come. All that we had thought we were, all that we believed, were tossed aside, treated with contempt, and nothing of great viability and reality took its place. Even as society became lost within itself so too did the individuals within that society, some more, some less, and certainly me. 

The anger which now suffuses the world was, is, particularly appalling to me. How could one live in anger while talking meaningful peace? How could one experience joy if the negative emotion of anger was all powerful, all overpowering. And where the hell was religion in all this? Name any religion in this world and most adherents will tell you of its penchant for peace and acceptance, tolerance a key tenet. All the while, the other side of their mouth spews forth words of hate and encouragement to act upon that hate. 

This was not only true of the world at large, but also frighteningly terrifyingly disappointedly so right here in the United States of America. My country, or at least I thought it was. Not so sure right now. Even now, as new regulations are handled down to universities and other sites of 'education', there's actually very little true enforcement and adherence to their goals even as   rampant antisemitism continues to be up front and center with Attitude of a capital A impact and impermeability. It caught so many, too many, via false speech and only then unsheathed its true ugliness, the claws and fangs of their violent, vicious, toxic, murderous hate. 

Gone were the supposed tenets of love, of peace, of tolerance, of brotherhood, of a seeking for commonalities. Their attitude as voiced by one spokesperson was an open disinterest, a strong opposition to any attempt to form an inclusive community. None at all. Worse and dismayingly so was the presence of Jews pushed to the fore as tokens of 'tolerance and unity', even as rabbis stood alongside, vocalizing, contributing 'justifying' articles, and further poisoning the air.

Was this my religion? The one which provided structure and strength to make my way through life? To find within the wherewithal to bear up under heavy burdens and smothering clouds of grief and despair so unfathomable and unacceptable. Yet also to be able to find joy in other moments. How, when the very leaders meant to guide me strode with giant and determined steps into dangerous territory of hunters and enemies aplenty and risky open and hidden paths of dangerous footing and cliff edges galore. 

I could scarcely recognize my religion as it was shredded by supposed adherents and proponents. Was I to believe that leaders who took upon themselves the burdens of leadership, were allowed to lead their flocks astray? If I could not believe words of this discussion, why should I, would I believe words of other discussions? Where within the many holy books of our people and the many books of commentary was this allowance and permission to be found. 

Was this my religion? Was this what I had learned and lived from birth, what I grown up with, what I had internalized.? The one we had given to our children via home, school, and community? Most certainly it was not. At least I hope not. Openly needful of something beyond me, above me, I had to discover for myself, the essence and boundaries of   my faith, not really questioning my belief in G-d and His words, but rather in the interpretation and application of those words. 

 Judaism has always been a faith of questions and answers, of seeking answers, of questioning answers, of refining them. To question is not heresy. To question is to increase the depth of that faith, to engender stronger connection to the soul of the believer. I expect moments of further questioning, of joy and understanding, of befuddlement and even resentment, and have already met some of them. The need to continue, to mine compatible, satisfactory answers. the pull to do so cannot be denied. 

Hopefully. this journey. along the demanding path will result in a better me, comfortable and confident in my mind, my belief strong, possibly stronger than ever. Why do this at this stage? This is not the first time I have embarked on this journey, merely a continuation, perhaps more relevant and meaningful precisely at this stage of life.  The urge, the need is powerful and the questions many.  

 Join with me as I travel the path for better, clearer, brighter understanding and acceptance and maybe, just maybe, you will find some stops along the way perfect for you.

On the morrow.

  

TIME TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH

 Before I continue on the arc of the past few weeks, I am compelled to take a small segue into a topic I have been neglecting of late. It has become simply impossible to remain silent on this so egregiously blatant attack on this nation, led by a madman, a clever, spoiled child who has assumed a weak cloak of respectability and endangered this nation to a greater degree than any other person or event I can think of in comparison. 

These past months, getting worse every day, hour by hour, these crazy, dangerous antics of Trump and fellow circus members behave as children given permission to raid the candy section, and that alone, but who push past, raid the entire store, challenging anyone to object and act to restrain. When there is none, only silence, the circus opens the doors of the asylum, liberating the rest of the circus, thereupon allowing them free reign to destroy this nation. Rampant, blatant, ignorance and incompetence. Vicious desire to tear down rather than build and improve and progress. Vicious threats ranging from the vocal, emotional, and psychological to actual physical threat. No one is exempt. No one at all.    

Plans to emulate Hitler, Stalin, Putin, all crazed dictators and set up American format of concentration camps, whatever pseudonym given, and imprison within all who displease him - men, women, children, native born and naturalized, or not, for it makes no matter. None at all. Doubling down on the horror of it all via the deployment of our standing military, not the National Guard, to carry out the orders of this crazed manchild, to do the dirty for him.   

Think!! Then think again and understand that madness feeds upon all it sees and imagines. All, no boundaries, no ends in sight. No matter. No mind. Orwellian Newspeak. Vile disinformation. Perilous misinformation. Censorship of all and any, from thoughts to research from books to products. Imposed crazed tariffs and labor force shortsightedness, all contributing and leading to predicted food shortage, bare shelves and impossibly high prices, in 2025 and for as long as this man and his ilk dominate.

What have we done? What have we allowed? Do we actually wish to have the likes of an Elon Musk as the actual real President, standing behind the throne of the fake one. Truly? What have we allowed? Do we actually wish to turn back the clock and all that has improved? Do we wish to remove rights of women? Criminalize LGBTQ. Cancel civil rights and shred the Constitution? 

Have we ever thought this through? Do we understand how shaky the land beneath our feet is?   How do we explain and justify to ourselves our empowerment of a moral and sexual pervert, a   convicted felon, a fraud, and always and forever not acknowledging nor repentant of his sins and offenses, against both G-d and mankind.

And where, when, why and how did we decide to toss aside our moral guidelines? Have we ever thought ahead, all the way through to the consequences of these decisions of ours? Is this what we wish for our children to be when they grow up? Would you leave any female member of your family in the room alone with him. The answer to all these questions is a resounding no. And shame on us that we denied that, closed our minds and souls to the truth.

I shudder at the thought that one day I might look out the window, peruse a paper, boot up the computer and check messages and perforce be forced to say, "I told you so." Dear Lord, I pray not.

For those who have thrust aside all that is wrong with him, all that is wrong and dangerous emanating from his trailing crew of troglodytes, all in the name of his support of Israel, his threat to let all hell loose should the hostages not be released - if he succeeds, kudos to him. However, it does not explain away nor forgive all the wrong that he has done. And all the harm to follow. 

With all my heart and soul, I pray for our hostages to be returned home, for peace to reign. For this ugly wave of JewHatred to be crushed, consigned to some deep, dark hole somewhere in the universe, never to be resurrected. Always keep in mind, though that behind the activation of this violent streak of JewHatred stand the Oath Keepers and the Proud Boys, acknowledged, celebrated by Trump. Prominent supporters of Trump.  Add to this rather horrid mix the huge streaks of volatility and unpredictability, the lack of morals within this man, his greed for wealth and power, his arrogance, all that propels him forward on his ugly pathway through life.   

I do not and cannot trust that man. I pray with all my might and soul, that the hostages are indeed freed from Hell, but if not, will he carry through with his threat? Or will it prove to be all hot air and bluster? To do the right thing. I truly hope so. But am I sure? No. It remains a huge unknown. If this tactic is successful, I will thank him for that. But I cannot forgive all that he has done to this nation and all that might be awaiting us in the very near future.  

I wish I could have avoided this posting. I have stayed away from politics, so ugly as it has become. However, I felt compelled to say something at this point. On Sunday I return, gratefully, to my other topic of great importance and meaning to me.

On the morrow and the morrow.

                  

SENSE AND NOT SENSE

Many, if not most, people believe what they see, can prove its actuality. The imaginative ideas of childhood fade away, chalked off due to grown up seriousness, even as we realize that imagination is the frontline of creativity and enrichment of lives.  However, and quite unfortunately, people have begun to swallow whole, fabrications. and nonsense tailored to meet emotional needs. The idea of 'proof of the pudding' is consigned to the trash heap. 

 Why has it seemingly become easier for people to swallow words of blatant lies and hostility without challenge. Perhaps because we are living in extremely tense, pressurized times and looming, not so distant, is the threat or the possibility of a World War III, manifested in a global declared war even as the reality of the day is that the world is pocked with wars and conflicts, large and small, major and minor, though how it is possible to declare a war as 'minor' beats me. We look for a staff to lean on. For a path to make it through life without losing totally   one's sanity.

 Living in highly difficult times throughout history has meant a turning to something, anything, providing a staff to lean on, a word of hope. Dropping heavily into that field of concern and need is Religion. It provides a structure. It speaks of a time somewhere in the future where this Religion will enable a better world and a better life for all, particularly for believers and practitioners. Nowhere to be found is Faith, an internal deeply enmeshed in the mental and moral makeup of society and individuals of that society. Merely   faith, assumed to be synonymous with their religion. 

Public observance of the rites and rituals, of the demands made of practitioners of that religion, in number and complexity, passing from top to bottom, became a growth industry. It became a path to worldly success, visible in public display and consumption, the higher the rank, the higher the social and economic status. Those so blessed, public and prominent consumers and practitioners of the approved religion, were deemed and thought of as messengers and representatives of the god(s) or G-d of that religion.  

Religion and government became closely aligned, barely a sliver of light between them. Religion, the proper approved religion, became state policy. Complaints and doubts and the reformists, the doubters, who saw a need for improvement and   adjustment, spoke up. Loudly. Openly. More followers. The discontent became a threat to the state and supporters of challenge of the official religion faced punishment all the way unto death.

 Fear, discontent and dissatisfaction, louder demands for change, public riots and demonstrations, led to the historical period of religious reformation and the proliferation and eventual separation of one religion from another. Consequential inevitable wars between them leading to rivers of blood grew in number and intensity and often involved the slaughter of innocents, non-partakers of the religions in conflict nor their goals but nevertheless died in its bloody maw. The Crusades, considered a Holy Quest, gave rise to the slaughter of the Jewish population of Europe and the Holy Land. 

No one was immune nor unaware of the bloody state of Europe and the conflicts between religions and their practices. That included people of the Jewish faith. Crushed even more by governments who needed them to deflect the dissatisfaction and unrest among the population, the growing disregard and contempt for established state religions. These states became ever fiercer and more determined to keep rebellion down and imposed ever more stultifying rules and severe punishment for the slightest infractions.   

And here we are back at the ranch. The Jewish community, while separate, was no different. Unrest. More dissatisfaction. Public hearings demanded. People chaffed at the ever-stricter rules and against the ever more constricted world of their community. Interpretations of practice of Judaism, of what was allowed and what not, the growing power of religious leaders, the fierce determination to keep figurative walls of stone and steel around the community, led to more dissatisfaction  and  opposition, a cycle ever repeating, growing wider, faster, more powerful in its effects and grew apace as the reactions of the ruling class chose the eminently wrong and doomed to failure path of grossly wrong minded thinking and actions.

However, no matter the anger of the people at the religious leaders and their downward pressure, their viewed as incorrect interpretations by man of the words of the Lord, as seen via the eyes and minds of the day and ours as well, there is an eternal need for structure and a comforting of soul and body. That comes via the acceptance and belief, a Faith, in some Power, a Being, a reassurance in the knowing that we are not alone. They are willing to worship and serve, but not to be diminished. The religion, the Faith, is to enhance and upraise humanity and the individuals within.

Within these changing and demanding times people desperate for succor look anywhere for it. False prophets, damaging rules and regulations. Words conveying the opposite of what they truly mean. Well, here we are today. So many, too many of us are living in a void, unsure of what is real and what is not. What makes sense and what not. 

We twist and turn along this way and that seeking, discarding and seeking again. We are enmeshed in confusion and grasp on to the next seemingly appropriate answer only to find we were wrong. It was inappropriate. Perhaps we misinterpreted.         As we did throughout history, as we sought answers and hope, we delved deeply into our foundations. That led to some answers, but it also segued directly to more questions. More explanations, satisfying ones, are demanded, yet too often the response is not satisfying, something is missing. We need more. We crave more. 

In our journey we seek what makes sense. What tugs in our hearts and minds and souls? What will make us a better person? What will bring us closer to that Power? Is your answer my answer? The same for others? Can we mesh them together, diminishing the effects of the different and stressing the commonalities. Always leaving room, keeping the door open for those who are seeking still or have just begun their journey.  How will we know when we have reached our destination, and our journey complete, at least for us? Is that destination immutable or can it, must it, change through the years and the conditions of life. I am sharing my journey and my reasons for it. What about your journey? Where are you?    

On the morrow.     

   

HARD WORK

 So. Cogitation is a difficult thing to do. It requires a deep and honest dive into ideas. and words perhaps best left unsaid. However, I cannot leave this process in the midst of it all. It doesn't work. Not for me anyway. I'm getting to the point where all of the introductory work or words have led us. Obviously, a bit longer than I thought it would be, but it feels good. It feels right. 

To actually think, what do I feel? What do I wish could be changed? What was better about the before and what is perhaps better with the after and the now and could there be some sort of an amalgam of the three prongs of time - past, present, and future? Can I find compatibility with what I think and feel, with what I believe and along with the faith and beliefs of others somehow complementing each other? Or is that a wishful pipe dream, never to come to fruition?

I needed more definition. I do not believe that religion is the absolute equivalent of faith. If that were the case, then assuming that all believing, at least those that believe in the one Western G-d would have no difficulties with each other and there would be peace treaties between and among them. Suffice it to say, and history is proof, that has never happened, nor do I expect a Pax Religion to occur, and certainly not in the near future. We are so wrapped up in defending the religions to which we belong, and we do not see past the arguments. 

Instead, we further exacerbate the situation by highlighting those differences with accompanying boast of certitude, in in our belief of the superiority of one's own religion over respective religions.    Hence, along come the inevitable wars, bloody wars, of internal and/or worldwide battles, all to prove via combat and hanging, drowning, burning at the stake, stoning, (the world practicing its misplaced misused creativity). All to prove that falsehood a truth, and by golly, after the beatdown unbelievers receive, well, they will be ready to believe and swear fealty and belief to the god of their conquerors. War forced upon those of other religions to take on the god of the victors. Not exactly a sacrosanct principle of behavior, but certainly sacred in its occurrence throughout history.

What is religion? And how does it differ from faith?  Religion is defined as 

"...the belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods'"

Faith is defined in relating to religion as

 "...belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion"

 Must they come as a yoked pair, or considered to be one and the same? Faith is a feeling more than a concrete entity. It does not require rites and strictures. It requires one to believe that there is something, perhaps undefinable, mysterious beyond a full human understanding or portrayal in physical sense. As it should be. Faith is meant to be challenged and challenging and requires much, too much at times, from the believer, the one with Faith. Faith in its belief, in its actuality, is Faith. Pure and simple, though not always so. But the Faith remains. It is the Faith of survivors of Nazi Germany, of Oct 7, of 9/11, of personal tragedy. Faith is what one needs to make it through a dark period beyond any comprehension, survive the boiling anger or desperate despair. It is Faith. Period. Challenged at times, even denied for a time, but Faith returns, albeit perhaps even modified in some manner, but there it is and there it remains.  

Religion is otherwise. Very much so. In actuality, religion can be practiced, even committed to, sans Faith. A faith does exist in the comfort it might give as people like routines, especially at times of crisis. Most people prefer to be part of a crowd, a group, a class rather than stand alone and be wrapped in a cloud of loneliness. 

That loneliness can be ameliorated by a religion without Faith. There is a faith, uncapitalized, which does exist. It provides comfort in the specific need of a person. It might give such in the social aspect. In the rites and routines of the practice of religion. It does not require Faith, though it might lead to that Faith over time. That Faith requires belief in a Power, mysterious, severe yet merciful, the source of reward and punishment, a staff to lean on and a taskmaster to serve and please. It is not religion.  

Religion and Faith do not have to be mutually linked together in an unbreakable connection. Nor are they enemies of the other if one leans towards the one rather than the other. Together there might be a strengthening of both; they do not demean or lessen each other if not shared within the same   person. One can be deeply immersed in the practice of religion. So deemed and recognized as such by all who know or see him, though Faith might not be there. Only faith. 

On the other hand, one can be a person who does not practice any religion, forgoes all the rites and rituals of such, yet be a person of deep Faith. There is within a well of belief and Faith which never goes dry, always replenishing, during good times and bad. It is an acknowledgement of a someone, an entity, who is watching or not, indifferent or personally involved, of shared and contrasting traits, always to remain a mystery, yet always there. That is Faith. It can and does exist without religion just as religious practice can be kept without Faith.  

A union of both can be glorious in its partnership. However, if not so, each in single manner, may provide the person, complete the person, fulfill the needs. It is not a matter of condemnation or praise.  It is a reality which must be recognized as Here. Deal with it for whatsoever strengthens a person, enables that being to live a good and productive life, to respect and love others, there is no wrong here. 

It is most unfortunate there are too many not accepting of that reality. Many condemn it. They remonstrate with vociferous voice and warnings of doom befalling the "offenders" or ones they care about and are the source of all wrong and sorrow in the world. Certainly, a deep burden to lay upon the shoulders of the young, of the seekers, of those damaged by life, of those seeking a truth for themselves.  

This approach might inspire, negatively, for some of the lost lambs to return to the flock, but in many cases the results are not as such. It might be a questioning, stronger doubts, for how can one    who professes faith, who openly, vigorously, ostentatiously, practices religion, how can this person be so negative, so evil, so mean? It is a contradiction of all that religion and faith are meant to be and provide. 

Threats and fear might work for a while. However, after a time, they inevitably provide room and desire, a driving need of and for resentment and opposition. That opposition can result in a rejection of exactly what the person needs. It takes away structure. It takes away reassurance. It provides for loneliness. For confusion. It does not provide for the good. 

It drives away many, and they wander through life, bereft of comfort and structure, all that true unselfish Faith and religion could provide when presented in the proper manner. 

How can this be avoided? How can we reach out and within and find that Faith and that religion suitable and compatible, both for the world and for our smaller communities? Might we ever find a path of compassion, understanding and acceptance? If we cannot, or will not, then woe upon us. The losses are already too many. 

What are these losses? Are they beyond aid and reunion? Might we be better off shifting our viewpoints and outlooks? Are we capable of honest thought and examination? Will we agree to certain truths and adjustments? If we do not, we will continue to provide a nourishing atmosphere for that which is rendering our people apart. Shredding the fabric which shelters us. Precisely at a time when it is so desperately important that we be strong and united. 

I am one of those rethinking, reexamining, and it is a painful, yet rewarding experience. Never to be totally completed. Life has changes and we must make change work for us, not for our ruination. As a nation, as a people, are we wanting and capable of viewing life from other angles and with different binoculars and telescopes. Will we choose the virtues of understanding over a divisive condemnation?  

Will we be honest and open with ourselves as to what we feel? No hiding. Only truth. Can we find it within ourselves? Are we capable as individuals to sound out or at least extend hands in understanding and acceptance. Try it for you might find it pleasant indeed.

Please make no assumptions about what I am thinking for most probably you will be incorrect. Patience. Wait. Think.

  On the morrow.   

      

Cogitating

 Still thinking on what to post and not ready to do it today. SEE YOU ON WEDNESDAY

AND SO...

  ...here we are. Where exactly? That is what I am trying to figure out. I swing back and forth, though not to either extreme, the one being a total immersion into a faith that bears no questioning or doubt, nor the extreme of total denial and disbelief. Is one correct and am I totally deaf and blind to its truth? Perhaps too stubborn to go all in on one pot or the other? 

I doubt that, for I am not willing to cede total control of my thoughts and thinking process to the control of others, generally those backward thinking people who believe true faith resides in total acceptance of rules and regulations, the interpretation and expansion of such, and disregard the rather vociferous disagreements re their implementation. How can I possibly know the truth, the actually spot on interpretation if those designated as leaders cannot agree? I must figure that out for myself, always including certain principles and tenets of faith that I simply cannot leave behind.

Nor am I willing to accept a total cessation and disregard of faith. Could that be an outcome from a selfish need to know that I am not alone, that there is something out there, some Power, some last resort, to which one can turn be it in moments of joy or despair? No, not acceptable for that would      imply we are here in some 'rando' causation, purpose unknown, if any, bereft of guidance as to how to live life, how to have meaning in a seemingly meaningless world. Can't do that.

It is easier in many ways to cede all control, all decisions, to the authority of another, removing the enormously difficult task of self-responsibility, the duty and challenge of deciding for myself, to myself, the rules and manners of life. No, cannot do that, at least I cannot. I am too ornery to accept total cessation of all thought process, of motivation, of soul stamina and determination of behavior to the whims and fancies of others. Nope, not in the cards for me. 

What would be the design of a motivational program of life positive in impetus and consequence? Are we in fact alone in this? Can we not forge, together, some format wherein simple clear standards of unbreakable principles would form a structure, a livable one, moral, demanding to a degree for all members of society of adherence to standards of civic and civil behavior? Can we not divine for ourselves a universal code compatible for all?  Is humankind as a whole or as individuals capable of sussing out the proper and productive way of life for all, carry within enough inner impetus to do that? Or must we unfortunately incorporate the idea of punishment and consequences, good and bad. As necessary. As earned. Do we have enough strength to withstand temptations of this world, at least enough so that    all consequences of negative impact can wait until some future unknown time, evaluated and judged   by that Power of vague description? Would that carry enough weight to keep us on the straight and true? Again, not sure, not at all.

Maybe that is not the fault of humans. Perhaps the fault is to be found in our creation, flaws, big or small, built within? Is this flawed creation planned, or random? (Never mind the physical design flaws, backs never meant to carry us through life on a permanent two leg upright position.) Are these flaws too powerful and influential enough to hinder any instinctual push to motivational moral behavior, to counter tendencies for the good? Is it possible for altruism to conquer selfishness?  

 Take a look around and judge for yourself. Are we in fact a moral society by nature, or do we tend to tilt towards the ugly other side of this coin? Do we value or stress the immediate in this world consequence or do we believe in the world to come for that to take place? 

And... full circle.  What do we believe? Are we to enforce our ideas and beliefs, force them upon others or do we send them 'out of camp', to others who either believe and practice with a differing set of tenets or who perhaps have no professed faith at all?   

Do conflicting principles perforce lead to inevitable warfare, bloody combat rearing its ugly head replete with multiple fangs and claws unsheathed, leaving behind prominent scars forever aching, forever unhealed, always prominent and painful. Would that ugly scenario be better served via a crushing of the differences and a forced adoption for all of one credo? One forced imposed Power for all somehow made to fit all, truncated and unrecognizable, crushing of all individuality, satisfying no one? 

 One Power - and whose Power would that be? What are its attributes? Is there a negative and positive side? Do they live together in harmony, or do they clash, causing problems for humanity?     Is it a truly Divine Being or a super-sized, super powerful version of humanity.  Is that Power amenable to all or offensive to some? Does it have an origin story or background compatible with the story of Mankind? Who among humans will willingly adopt a faith in this ginned up power? What, in fact, does that faith contain within and demand of its adherents? 

In fact, is it a faith in what is practical or is it a strong never to be denied Faith. A Faith incompatible with another Faith or so deemed by its adherents - and welcome to 2024-2025. And the foreseeable future. Is there in fact one true Faith split into forever incompatible parts, like the elephant and the 6 blind men, each describing accurately individual segments. So right. Yet so wrong. So incompatible in its individuality unless and until some wise mind would find the accurate temperature for melding and unity, inclusive and exclusive at the same time.       

And here we are again, ever more circles. Who and what is the Power? Has it created us, or have we created it? If so, was that because of dire need of a Power? If we do not know the correct answer to that, or have an unshakeable faith in one's answer, as opposed to yet another's unshakeable answer, faith in that Faith, we cannot begin to fathom the difficulties to be settled if we are to generate somehow, hopefully ASAP, a society of harmony and inclusion and an end of ceaseless states of war  always upon this earth of ours -  of our doing!

So many questions. Why are we here in the first place? Was it a random happenstance of the universe or was it a deliberate act of creation?   Do we have a purpose? Who would have given us that purpose? Or did it come from within? Is mankind more alike or more different? What is the import of that answer? 

That Power - benevolent or harsh? Demanding or understanding? Revengeful or compassionate? Caring or indifferent? Seeking to enlarge and enhance its powers, to be worshipped more and more, playing a numbers game either within its own head or in competition with other gods? Who would be those other gods and powers?  Is there in fact One Power or one ruling the many, as bickersome as the humans they disdain.  Do they represent various faiths of differing tenets or are they all inclusive within the One Power? Would they agree to mend their differences and set an example for the humans below? 

As Humans, we continue to be perplexed and frustrated, despairing of a peaceful, viable solution. A way to peace, and if not friendship, then at least cooperation. How are we to discern where we are    to place our faith? Is it faith or Faith? Are we   capable of melding universalities without offending the individualities of differing Faiths?  

This is a conundrum of head spinning import and impact. Not so easy, though cursory responses are there for those seeking and accepting an easy, soothing answer, a way out, demanding not too much. For me, I prefer to think for myself. I prefer a stress on the concern for each other and find it difficult to accept the idea of a One Power so insecure that He would prefer yet another paean of praise backed by nothingness over an intense interest in His creations and their behavior - thumbs up or down in - morality, kindness, cooperation, goodness, honesty, and love.     

More on the morrow.        

I BELIEVE.

 I believe. Such a simple statement. In fact, what does it mean? I believe - in what exactly or in whom? Is it a tenet of life? A statement of faith in someone or something? Can we define it exactly so as to be understood and internalized. If one can do that or “believe” in its positivity and possibility, with nary a doubt, or a weak one, then that person is truly blessed. Most of us, if we are all honest, might say we believe, that we mostly act as if we believe. In fact, though, there are always questions. Always doubts. Are these doubts natural? Are they instigated by some little gremlin living inside us? 

Whatever it is, innate doubts, or gremlins, it is a fact of life. It has been with us since the beginning of time, walked in lockstep with humankind. Is that good or bad? This question asks and is answered with variable replies, appropriately so, for faith is an individual matter and cannot be dictated, no matter how strenuous the efforts to make it so. Each individual must answer for him/herself, and the results will always have differentials and commonalities, and the habit of mankind is to mesh these commonalities, unfortunately attaching at the same time and over time, all manner of negativities and restrictions. The juice and joy of belief is squeezed out with fear and hypocrisy taking up much of the empty space thus created. So sad.

Far too often what remains is in fact too often non or misunderstood, failing to give us long term or permanent reassurance of something, anything, for the better, to take up residence in our asset column as we live or as we approach life's end. If the need for hope, for comfort, for knowing we are not alone in a frightening, hostile world, is the driving force for codified beliefs, one giving hope and consequences for actions, is that so wrong? Is it false? Is it based too much on fear of punishment rather than appeal to the better side of humans? Is that what humans really need? The stick over the carrot?  Why do we think so poorly of ourselves?   

Who in fact determines contents of that codification? Do we use the carrot or the stick? Will a person improve and strive to be better if there is no true spiritual belief? If the carrot of reward of an afterlife, in whatever format that afterlife takes, is actually false, or vague or uncertain, not known if it is real, will the possibility of its promise be enough? Nobody has ever come back from either the penthouse or the basement of the afterlife who warn us and shake a finger at us, saying " better be good. It's real". 

Even with that reassurance and warning we must wonder whether humanity is flawed from the moment of creation. Always and forever containing within, the urge, that driving tempting need, that which impels humanity too often to the wrong side of the mistaken choices of life. Why, when we claim and demand with loud hectoring voices to return to faith, to remain strong in that belief, do we in reality actually lionize the traits of those who do not do so. Whose behavior is diametrically opposed to those touted in the belief codes. 

 Why do we not see the benefits of living a good life, not only via material wealth, but in purity of soul and motivation. Or the need for and importance of constant striving to reach higher levels as we move through life. Why can we not rise to the level of truly understanding the truth of the words of a wise woman who said, “We are all none of us free until all, every one of us is free.”     

Are we prevented from doing worse by the belief codes, by faith and belief truly felt or one imposed upon us. How is one to deal with some doubts about this vaguely defined Power? Does it control our lives, thoughts and deeds or are we responsible for all that we do and think? Do we strive to do better, or do we throw in the towel and live the freer life? Can these ideas be meshed? Can humans achieve that lofty standard of doing good because it is right, no reward necessary? Must our behavior always be partnered with threats of retribution or promises of reward?  In fact, why do these threats and promises so often differ greatly from each other? 

In fact, down to the nitty gritty, the roots of it all has anyone ever explained that power? In clear and explicit words of definition and understanding. In fact, is it a one power or many powers. If there is one or a consortium of many, do they share names, each appropriating the names they desire, the names by which we have become familiar and incorporated into our belief. 

The questions contained within and more, necessitate answers. It is easy to drown oneself within a faith, a belief, which can give life structure and give us goals and targets. But at times, some folks need more. I need more to be able to define my personal faith, my code and structure of belief.  With clearer definition I will be the stronger and the better for it. I think we all would. Honesty for self is challenging but if we do not do so for ourselves, how could we possibly reach a better understanding of others.   

On the Morrow.   

QUESTIONING FOR UNDERSTANDING

  Old as time is the statement "There are no atheists in a foxhole.” Left unsaid, but obvious, is an ending - “under fire”. Human beings are rather arrogant in their turn on/turn off faith, belief in a God, by whatever assigned appellation, or organized religion. However, are all of these terms basically synonymous or are there important differences? Might one navigate easily amongst those terms or not?  Can one pick and choose without concern, able to meld and mold as desired? Or must one adhere to a specific choice and be limited in scope and ability, forced, of necessity to follow rigid outlines and demands?   

These questions began with and when the first man was joined by more. Their ideas, visions, loyalties, and manners or worship, to different gods, varying in number from one to many, and even in their appearance became, or evolved, into fractures within a heretofore united group. Points of contention grew and intensified. Many wars were fought to 'prove' their god(s) was the better, the stronger, the more frightening, of better appearance.  Whatever could be contested could and would spark a war. Clever humans hedged their bets and paid homage to many gods, figuring "what the hey - better be safe than sorry". 

The more uncertain people became, growing ever more confused and wary that perhaps they were worshipping a false god, the more they strutted their stuff, inflated their egos and fought violently, their cruelty to 'non-believers' overtopping that of the beasts of the field. Cruelty towards those who differed in thought or belief, in any change whatsoever, were termed heretics, traitors, blasphemers, were tortured and put to death in most unthinkably cruel executions. All in the name of God. Of course. 

 Condensing all the wars and changes to the world and civilization via religion we arrive at today. Not much has changed other than perhaps for the worse. Wars continue to be fought in the name of a God. Hate continues to be justified due to rivalry among adherents of various gods. Manner of worship and credos of religions are criticized and demeaned. Accusations are hurled back and forth until the pressure of the tension grows too high and explodes. And well, here we are today. Still fighting. Still claiming superiority of a proprietary God. Vicious bitter warfare and hatred, even among members of the same religion though varying   somewhat, somehow, a sect within, are deemed worthy and deserving of being targeted for death as heretics.  

Glaring in its absence are voices raised in opposition. Yes, there are some, but too few, too weak to make much of a difference. Hence, no serious attention is paid to challenging questions raised, nor are any relevant answers forthcoming. Only louder, ever more strident voices, forcing the world to believe in their god, oh so much better than yours. Our god loves us more than your god loves you and let's go to war to prove that. Nor should we fall for the platitudes and hot air from those who speak the words but don't mesh with supportive deeds.

All the while the class of the 'holy' tier grows richer, more powerful, more cutting, and they accrue power and wealth and too often flout the very tenets of their religion, in an arrogance enabled by a society confused and demoralized.      Voices of those who call for relationships of positive nature are drowned out by those who shake their weapons ever louder, in ever widening circles of influence. Woe upon a challenger of the accepted.  

 Humans continued to hedge their bets. It goes something like this. "Well, I'm not really sure whether there is a god of some kind or some power but just in case, I'll do ---------- (fill in the blank). Kind of like using a belt and suspenders, ensuring that one will not be caught with one's figurative pants down. But what is belief What is faith? What is religion? From whence comes the regulations of these religions - and there are many.   Do the differences between and within religions inevitably lead to animosity evolving into warfare in the name of one religion, one God or another.

 How do we approach and understand differences within the crowded forest of religions and beliefs and faiths. Why do they exist and are they meaningful, bottom line? Does it really matter?   Is it an unachievable goal of hope that one day we can all respect each other, accept the differences and stress the similarities? Honor and respect the glory of the gift of life and planet rather than destroy it?

Is there any wonder at the power and the longevity of this topic? It can be and is life changing with the direction of that change of utmost importance.  It is   necessary though difficult and challenging, reaching into the crux of our being. 

 Join me on Sunday and 'think about it". I am thinking much about it as it all begins to coalesce and find words of definition and clarity, though possible demanding even more.