CRAWDADS

 Never knew what a crawdad was when the huge best seller came out. Did not bother to look it up as the book did not appeal to me as a good read for me. Then the movie came out and I read enough to figure that the crawdad was some kind of bird or swamp creature which sang only when feeling safe, hidden from the eyes and ears of others, deep into a swamp. Still did not bother to define it better than that until I went to the movies and loved the movie.

So, what is a crawdad? It is defined as a crayfish. A fish that sings and is neither a dolphin nor a whale? Which is a mammal anyway. And what the heck is a crayfish? Defined as a freshwater crustacean resembling small lobsters and cannot tolerate polluted waters. Cannot say that I received great enlightenment via these definitions, but after watching the movie, and do not ask the ending, I understood the title.

The story takes place during the South from the 50's through the 70's and then very quickly via vignettes through a lifetime of the main character. It depicts a South deep in its prejudiced and backward thinking self, finding it easier to condemn that which is different, stands out from the run of the mill, than to reach out and aid a little girl left all alone. She bravely makes her way through life with the aid of a few others who bother to make and accept connections, outsiders themselves in a benighted southern town.

Human beings do not come out looking very worthwhile in the course of this movie. Even someone who appeared to reform has a remaining very ugly streak. His true colors are revealed unexpectedly, and contrary to Madonna's song, do not "come shining through". Were we actually those backwards thinking people, so low they speak of the girl as the "marsh girl", no identification as a human worthy of care, as a witch, a missing link, part wolf, but never human. Not unexpected, tragedy results, but also life continues and a good life, a contribution to society, to the bank of world knowledge ensues.

Good things can be hidden in deep swamps where protection provides for safety. That safe haven, though, is fragile, its borders leaky, and needs to be respected, given aid where and when necessary. Furthermore, were we actually those people? Manifestly so. Worse, we continue to be those people, and they are not limited to the south. Nope. Such progress we have made - or should I say retro-progression - that we have ever so triumphantly so valiantly achieved, that such attitudinal thinking is rampant, found all over, and worse than ever. So proud we should be!

Back to the real world. Was that movie an escape into entertainment? The theater, filled with decent attendance, was still and silent, save for some shock reactions, including me. It boggles the mind how backwards we can be - even when we are the ones bitten by that same benighted, backwards thinking.

Justice Thomas, a misplaced and mislabeled man, is now urging that the clock be wound backwards, taking away all rights not specifically present in 1873. That would include the "crime" of miscegenation, the marriage between races, particularly between Black and White. What would follow is a cascade of oppressive, regressive, criminally wrong rulings. But the weird thing is that Thomas is a Black man, his wife a White woman. Uh-oh! 

Does he not have eyes to foretell his own tragedy awaiting him (though truly, his wife is no bargain!) His mind cannot differentiate good thinking from bad, nor anticipate his own falling under the stomping feet of bigots and fascists.  Are the rest of us supposed to retreat to the deepest swamps we can find if we are to remain safe? 

We are our own worst enemies. Even though the correct vision is in front of us, we continue to endeavor to do our best to go backwards, to develop a hotel for the rich, where haven for others is found. We rush to take away rights, to strip them forcefully, meanly from others, and then find ourselves caught in the same net, hoisted with our own petards.

The warning signs of a devolving society are there, clear before eyes, though too many refuse the gift of sight, the application of wisdom and justice to our lives - and the lives of others. We see the world as belonging to "us", whomever that 'us' is, and it flows in and from all directions, for no group is immune to this path inevitably leading to violence and more violence and more... The picture is clear.

Even Mother Nature is angry with us, her reactions clear and strong. Mighty even. We suffer drought and heat now burning up the world. Or frightening powerful hurricanes and flooding rains. We mumble that maybe there is something to global warming and then proceed to downplay the actions necessary to overcome it - until it will be too late- or is it there already? We ignore the spate of bear attacks, the tragic results as we invade the bear's safe haven, the 'swamp' where he can sing.

 We ignore the different, the odd, the strange, the square peg in a round hole. Over and over again. The exact definition of stupidity and insanity, to do, repetitively, and expect something new to result. Doesn't work that way, folks. New and fresh thinking, understanding, painful as it might be - for all - for NONE are exempt, none are innocent of harm to others. Of nonacceptance of others. Of attitudes which are inimical to the growth of and respect for the need and presence of safe havens for all. In fact, the best safe haven, the best swamp, would be the world if only we were open to the possibilities of such a state of development. 

If only.

Read the headlines of the day, then despair.

Think again -

If only. 

IF ONLY.

FIRE HOSES, BIRDS, AND SUCH

 Fire hoses are powerful things. They need strong muscles to handle them. Powerful enough to knock down a roaring fire, their power can be misused as a tool of intimidation when turned against a protest group or a mob. Help or hurt. The choice most of us face at least several times a year, if not more. At times the hurt is epic, and other times, merely a sharp nip at someone's soul. Small but powerful.

Thus, it is most apt that we now hear of a "fire hose" worth of information regarding Trump and his up to his miserable neck involvement, instigation, planning and carrying out the J6 attempt at revolution. An attempt to end democracy as we know it and install his own third world imitation of a fascist version of a 'democratic' government. Most definitely not. We can only hope and pray, insist, that the wielders of this fire hose aim it properly, correctly, and determinedly at the proper target and not lose control nor give it up because of its power and potential. Trump, his political goals, his selfishness and disregard for the welfare of others, to an unheard-of degree, must be hosed down. Firmly. clearly. Insistent on demanding the exposure of the complete truth re J6.

Adding to that need is the large percentage of alarm clock residents, you know, the clocks where a bird comes out on the hour calling Cuckoo! Cuckoo!  Trumpland has a plethora of respondents. These are the deniers of reality, mired ever so deeply in their own ever growing compost heap, besmirched with the muck of their denials and lies, their own self-generated ugliness of mind and soul. 

Jim Jordan with his crude and boorish shouting and ugly faces. Ted Cruz who loves to desert his constituents in a time of great suffering for them.  Brian Mast who thinks his service to the country guarantees him a lifetime free pass to neglect his constituents, as enamored of insulting behavior, ugly words and sheer incompetence as his demented idol, Trump. 

Not done yet. We have Scott Perry Mo Broks, Gohmert, Kevin McCarthy, Lindsay Graham, and several others who were involved, one way or another, in the shame of J6. Or, if you prefer another shade of cuckoo behavior and thinking - or not thinking, we present to you Marjorie Taylor Greene and Boebert. I am amazed at their stupidity, at the sheer nonsense that spews forth daily from their mouths. The latest is the denial of rights of contraception, an unwanted yet expected expansion of their campaign to attacks the rights of women to control their own destiny, stretched ever more into the land of denial of marriage rights, making interracial marriage, same sex marriage crimes. Voting rights? What is that! Welcome to Cuckoo land, a most unfunny and dangerous place.

Finally, we have a resident of Cuckoo land, a new one, who has moved himself and all his baggage into his new home. He has accepted the fear of others in this land, afraid to act, using words of the opponent to support his refusal to take action. An action that is manifestly a must, integral to any possibility to heal the wounds of our beleaguered nation, to show, in strong, powerful moves that indeed, justice reigns in America. That no one is above the law. That wrongdoing is to receive a fit and just consequence, no matter the wrongdoer.

Merrick Garland, a victim himself of the all-out attacks on democracy in which the inhabitants of Trumpland specialized, savored. Now he is cowed by them, paralyzed into silence and evasion, using the words of Barr to excuse his inaction. Bah, humbug!! Does he think that evasion of prosecution will benefit the country or one political side? Perhaps, but then again, the process of investigation has already exposed the filthy truth of Trumpland, its treasonous behavior. Indictment and prosecution will carry a message of hope, of firmness and finally, reintegration of many of the heretofore deluded. 

By all means, reset those cuckoo clocks. Reintegrate the mistaken into a true reality, one that favors justice and rights for all, even as it makes errors in the paths to that goal. Connect those fire hoses of justice, of a society protecting itself from the rot within, and wash away the causes of that rot. The hoses need to be activated, be full force. Half way 'justice' is manifestly not justice but rather an insult, a dangerous one, to a society which needs justice, which demands truth, which must, desperately, existentially clearly, rid itself of that stinking garbage, the rot from within.

Only then can we strive to return to being America, with all its glory and all its errors, but always with its desire to improve. Bob the Builder always told our kids that 'build we must." So true. Witha bit of a change. 

Rebuild we must. Get your tools, acknowledge the errors in judgement which led us astray, and work hard, together, as a nation, as Americans, to indeed, rebuild this nation of ours, battered, torn and worn, but strong within its core.

OOPS! SORRY ABOUT THAT!

 Could not sleep again last night, so decided to make productive use and worked on my latest jigsaw puzzle. I must say that a quicker path to insanity has yet to be found! Particularly when there is much repetition and very difficult to distinguish differences in sections of it. Challenging, but fun. Finally went back to try to sleep at 1 AM and then 'overslept' till 7:30! Yoiks!! Life had gone on without me and the blog was not written. The world had continued to weave its massive spider web in which we were all enmeshed and I was unaware of it all.

However, not everybody was on my somewhat delayed schedule, so the blog kept getting pushed to the end of the line. Phone calls of every morning had to be made. Ordering the condo needed to be done. Pill regimen needed to be begun. Unexpected things, big and small, kept invading my good intentions, and here I finally am. After receiving several emails asking if I am alive or dead! Happy to say, I am here.

So, what I had was the equivalent of an MH day, albeit a short one in the middle of the night, otherwise known as a mental health day for the tired, the too busy, those needing a break. Why should a retiree need a break? Seems almost oxymoronic, but if anybody again ever asks me what I do all day, if I am overcome by boredom, if I need to build some structure to my day, my life, .... Suffice it to say that he/she who is bored in retirement has the wrong idea of what it means.

Retirement is the opportunity of a lifetime. Time to branch out into interests which always intrigued you but never had the time or energy to pursue. Time to see shows, at a much better price than in NY. Time for museums and lectures, even webinars. Time to find family thought to be lost to the murderous Nazis. Time to find amazing things within one, new talents or at least interests. Time to read more, to think more, to even wonder where the heck this crazed world is heading, for we seem to spin more and more off our axis. And thus, the end of the benefits of my short MH day. All it took was a brief perusal of the headlines.

18 Republicans vote against admitting Finland and Sweden into NATO. How patriotic and all the same blasted names again. Quelle surprise! Next up we have the idiots of the world, represented so well by our homegrown American idiots, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has not met a ridiculous conspiracy rumor that she did not like and champion. Following her is the AG candidate in Maryland who is pro secession and insists that all education is a communist conspiracy. Hmmm, from the same line of thinking, I guess, as Putin, who stated that from now on the Russian schools must 'infect" - his term - the students so as to make them think properly, be good little citizens. Sickens me that we have adherents of the same school of thinking, no matter from the left, the right or the selfish and uncaring.

The lid of the garbage can is off. The fumes and vapors of the criminal, treasonous years of Trump regime are emerging, putrid and poisonous, faster than we can catch and negate them. The filth of the traitors, their enablement of plots, their attraction to a revolution against this country, for that is what it was, the confessions of the guilty, the participants, and the unbelievable moronic stubbornness, mule headed beyond all borders of sanity, who continue to believe in the 'steal' of the election - when will they ever learn? 

When will the harm they have inflicted upon this country ever be truly accounted for and the divisions healed? My guess - never. I am that pessimistic. There are too many crazed people around who see nothing before them, not the nose on their faces nor the noses on others. All they see is what they wish to see, truthful or not. As for others, well, they are obviouly inferior, thus having no rights at all to see or say anything. 

Think it is time for another MH day, but the reality is that even a dozen of them will not change the world any. What it will do is give me the energy and focus to fight for what is right, not give in to the fascists of the world. I hope. Now, it is off to the races again, too busy to focus on it right now. Puzzle pieces await. Friends are waiting. Books are calling out to me. The paints stare me in the face and my woodwork needs a challenge. Bye, till tomorrow.

 

MONSTERS IN THE DARK

  Evidently, while in a deep sleep last night, I had one of my active dreams. I was catching a monster, only to finally catch it and lo and behold- I was holding Gerry's hand, triumphant indeed! Of course, I let the monster go with a warning, and then, asleep again, went on to fight an outbreak of lice of pandemic size.

Why tell of this? Because I sincerely believe that dreams are there for a purpose. Sometimes they appear to be nonsense, but if truly thought about, there is a meaning. Humanity has always believed in the power of dreams, in their connection to reality, our minds, the truth of our lives. Interpretation was necessary, but there it was. There it is. A most famous example of dreams is that of Joseph and the role dreams played in his life.

No, Gerry is most definitely not a monster, but rather the very opposite, always there to fight the monsters of daily life, of the stress felt by family members and friends. Even as his hand was condemned as a monster, I knew, in my subconscious that here was help, not harm. and that is a pointer to life and our interpretation of it. At times, too many times, we mistake the identity of the monsters and the caretakers, confuse them, much to our detriment.

This is exactly what too many Americans have done over the past decade. They were disillusioned, disappointed, frightened by the turns of their lives, so different from what they had dreamed of when young, when beginning their lives as adults. Too many, in despair have turned to false leaders, fake prophets, who deem themselves messengers of G-d, all spewing forth messages from the other side, the Devil, feeding hate and bias into the parishioners. These monsters went undetected, unrecognized, so good was their disguise. So deep was our need for a leader, a good one, a decent one. So deep were our disillusions that we chose the false prophets instead. We allowed, even welcomed the monsters into our homes and hearts.

There were those who remained stalwart in their quest to uncover these monsters so bad for America and the world. Against an opposition which turned to dirty tricks, illegal activities to undermine their quests. In their own disillusionment and desire to have an end to this in their own lives, some retired from the fight, exhausted, hanging up their tools and quests, items of the past. Thankfully, there were others who stepped up and took on the quest to find and eliminate the monsters who clung to life even as they sapped the energy and hopes of life from others.

Our Galahads are beginning to pierce the veil of disguise, many finally opening eyes to the truth now revealed. Oh, some turn away, denying, standing firm for the false prophet to the very end, even as he continues to rant and rave against the truth. This mistaken stand has now been revealed as such, as more and more truths are revealed, each and every day. Those who had accepted the monster and his poison injected into their lives, who had openly aided him, are now coming forth with the truth, with their confessions, too late to undo much of the damage done but perhaps enough to build a brighter, lighter, more truthful and responsive set of leaders. A good leadership, one that comforts and aids, that builds rather than destroy. 

We have our monster on the run, his parasitic human plankton feeling the heat of this forced run. Now is the time to reach out and help, to welcome them back into their true homes, back to America as it should be. A country looking towards and forwards to a future for all, not a select few. 

However, we must, absolutely, punish the wrongdoers who committed treasonous actions, who almost broke this country's back - if that even was avoided - not so sure about that. But the long slog ahead of us, to reunite as a country, with a shared morality, with an openness to others, to an ethos inclusive, rather than exclusive, remains. 

That requires due consequences, befitting their actions. Responsibility must be borne upon stalwart shoulders which bear the brunt of the burden to keep this country on the straight and true. Possibly narrow, but wide enough for us if we do the right thing, if we remember who we are. If we expose the monsters and their internal ugliness. Those who seek to weaken those burdened shoulders must face the punishment they deserve, lest others think they can emulate the monsters, for there was no downside to it. 

 Oh, as for the lice, that pandemic, we can conquer that too. The lice are the remainders of the reign of the monster, the dark veil that had hidden the true America beneath actions of violence, of growing hate and anger. of despair rather than hope and optimism. These are the enablers of a monster. These include those of little power and those already in places of power, able to continue their fight against who and what America is. They need to be set aside, voted out of office, rejected by a better electorate, impeached where possible. There is no place for them here. We must reject them, overcome the bites they have inflicted upon our fabric of life, of America. 

Together, we can do it. With open eyes and recognition of truths, we can do it.

We can do it. We must do it. Lest we are totally lost. In a land of monsters whom we invited into our very homes.

THIS OR THAT

 There is a saying in Yiddish that says it is time to get your rear in gear and make a decision. In other words, make a choice, stop dawdling and put your money where your mouth is. Time for action. Time to make a choice. Time to step up to the plate. Time to get off the bench and make a difference.

 That urge to action applies to both the private, personal life and that of the world outside your door. One cannot separate oneself from the world simply because it tires you, or annoys you, or is so damaged that it frightens you. All are impacted by decisions made in places other than your home or workplace. Even the hermit in the most off the grid place in the world will be impacted by decisions, large and small, by others and the impacts are felt by all. Climate change. Food shortages. Gas shortages. Out of control leaders. All cannot be hidden from, and the head in the sand will be exposed soon enough by erosion of the sand as the ocean eats away at the land. Nor does ignorance count as an excuse. Nor the aches and pains of body and soul. In fact, all might feel better when one does somethng, rather than remain a passive onlooker of life, content to go with the flow, even if that flow is a negative one.

"Several huge global setbacks over the past few years have left many people discouraged and wondering whether the world is destined to get worse ... The pandemic is one of the biggest setbacks in history. The war on Ukraine is a gigantic tragedy for the entire world. The damage from climate change is already worse than most models predicted. The U.S. has taken a huge step backwards for gender equality and women’s health."

So says Bill Gates, who promises that he will try to do something to ameliorate the situation. However, as wealthy and well intentioned as he is. one man cannot do it all. If the rest of us sit by, watching and moaning. then the sum total will be a great big zero.

 The past decade has been a growing mess, ever more dangerous to humanity, because we refused to get involved, to watch carefully over the decisions of lawmakers. Indeed, why did they get there in the first place. That, my friends is on us. We have simply abdicated, voting without thinking, along straight party line rather than evaluating the individual. Today, we face the clear consequences and time is running out, pointing to a time of no return and never mind blaming your neighbor. Simply take a look in the mirror and know the truth. It all begins and ends with the man in the mirror. Cannot run away from that truth.

To begin with, we need to cleanse our government, purge it of the crooked, the selfish, the traitors who openly colluded to pull a coup and change our country from a democracy to an autocracy. The evidence is clear. The trail is clear, all arrows pointing back to the one responsible.  A crazed power hungry narcissistic megalomanic who managed to hypnotize people to cancel their brains, or frightened them, or whatever. 

What matters now is that we begin the cleansing of the nation's soul by placing criminal charges on this man, indict him, convict him, and throw him into a federal maximum prison where he will be no longer able to make and carry out his destructive wishes. No more treasonous action by him. Then expel, impeach, force resignations, nullify those in office in our government who followed his orders, went down the same crazed paths. They forgot, disregarded their responsibilities, were unfaithful, violating their oaths. We can begin with Gaetz and Gohmert, and Perry and Johnson and Brooks, and Thomas and Kavanaugh and all who were afraid to fight back, to save this country from the turmoil we now face.

There are limits to democracy. Yes, it is flawed, seemingly contrary to itself at times, difficult to align with issues that demand wisdom and mercy. To emphasize its faults, to feed into hatred, new restrictions, dialing back the country -go back and read the words of Gates - to have a President hobnob with the detritus of society, well, this cannot be ever again. Manifestly bad for us. Thís cannot go unpunished, else we are lost. Garland must hitch up his britches and do the right thing.

 Enough stalling. The country needs to see action and those who wished to destroy us, must be convicted and punished with the full power of the law. Only then can we wipe the slate and begin anew, a bit wiser, a bit more disillusioned perhaps, but better attuned to the truth.

IF AND OR BUT WHY

 As a teacher of language arts, I always emphasized the importance of the structure of language, its role in the ability to write and understand the writings of others as well as the unstated import of words. It is quite often that the little words, those we think do not matter actually represent the meat of the matter. Those little, seemingly inconsequential words - conjunctions, prepositions, the pack of who, what, when, where, why and how - used carefully, even artfully, can change the entire meaning or end result. Not to forget punctuation either. The use and misuse of it can change lives. Check with the lawyers for verification of that.

The major story of the day rolls with those words. When did Trump know? Did he always know? How was his plan to work? But did he truly incite the violence? And did he encourage violence, a goal from the onset of it all? In fact, did he, the demented one often enough absurdly so, actually prove to be a canny madman, along the lines of Hitler and fellow travelers, as he plotted sedition. And on and on and on.

The answers to these questions and more, their import, their connections, the sum of these parts, will carry weight through the years to follow, perhaps for centuries -should we even survive that long! However, for us, the most important consequences will be when all the prepositions and conjunctions, all the adverbs and all the punctuation are in place, the i's dotted and the t's crossed. Then, only then, will the entire, horrid, awful truth of the matter come out. Only then will people realize how close we came to an end to democracy, to the imposition of autocracy upon this nation.

Using the WOD - the word of the day - takeaway - here is the crux of them. When all is said and done, the Jan. 6 Committee will have the choice to either recommend prosecution, the laying on of criminal charges and prosecution of such, or to remain officially shtum - quiet - with a capital Q. Either way, the responsibility to follow through - or not - is upon the shoulders of one man and his inner strength -Attorney General Garland. Already much disturbed and disappointed by his apparent reluctance or is it inability - to follow through, I wonder, I truly do.

Election Fraud.

Obstruction.

Inciting Violence. 

Witness Tampering.

Sedition.

Read those charges again. The proof is there, openly, blatantly, clearly, shockingly. Will those previous willfully blind people, those who refused to impeach and convict the man manifestly guilty of these crimes, will they finally stand up for the truth. Will they finally put Nation over Party? Will they halt their radicalization and return to sanity, or will they further move, strut, down the street of extremism, of racial hatred, of violence and disunity?

Frankly, I am not optimistic. When engaging in conversation with Trump supporters, I get mumbled excuses as to why they have not followed the hearings. Too busy, too tired, waste of time, tired of the whole mess, all evading responsibility of their individual roles in allowing that man into the Oval Office in the first place, allowing him to remain, with all his gross errors and the underlying, very clear goal of substantially and permanently ripping this country apart. 

Furthermore, the blame of it all, the shame, of it all, also clings to those 'dear and near' to him during his administration or misadministration, who KNEW the truth of it all, who witnessed it every damned single day, who remained silent. That is, until they wrote tell all books, all the better to crassly fill their pockets and never mind the disastrous times for this country which they enabled by their silence and cooperation with that man. Or they were forced, legally, to answer questions, to give testimony, as the ugly truth has emerged, filthy piece by piece. As far as I am concerned, they are guilty of accessory before and after the fact. Following orders. Fear. No, they do not work. Many others have been there, tried that, and history said no.

Bottom line, the man is guilty. Here is the best summary I can find. The closing two paragraphs in an essay by Bill Press online this morning.

  " It all boils down to this. After Dec. 14, when the Electoral College certified the election of Joe Biden, Trump engaged in a four-part plan: lying to the American people about election fraud; filing phony claims of fraud in court (he lost 60 out of 61 cases filed); pressuring state officials to send phony electors to Washington; and summoning his supporters to come to Washington on Jan. 6 and prevent Congress from doing its job. Why? To stage a coup. To launch another Civil War. To overthrow the government of the United States and replace it with an illegitimate, unelected government. Above all else, Trump must be charged with sedition.

In order to preserve our democracy, Attorney General Merrick Garland must charge Donald Trump with attempting to overthrow our government. If not, we might as well put back up all the statues of Confederate generals, erect a monument to Robert E. Lee on the Washington Mall, and give the Medal of Honor to Benedict Arnold. Trump’s as big a traitor as all the rest of them. They didn’t get away with treason, and neither should he."

 

JIGSAWS

  That is a word which appeared very few times in my spoken lexicon. I can recall using a jigsaw on a solid wood door, carving out a mail slot. No idea where or why I thought of that, and that I could do it, but anyway, that is how we received our mail for the next 26 years. The next time jigsaws came into my common vocabulary is when the jigsaw of my life changed, and I became enamored of working with wood. Jigsaws, manual and electric, there it was.

Then a real surprise. I, who could not put together the 20-piece puzzles that my little kids left undone, began to watch members of the family who had a knack for jigsaw puzzles. I began to be drawn in, admiring their impossible to believe ability to do this and wondering where the heck that gene came from. Then a surprise. I began finding pieces that belonged together, Mind you, I couldn't fit them together, only group them. That was good enough for me.

Dear lord! I found a 100-piece puzzle, meant for kids, and managed over two days to put it together. After another one I graduated to 300-piece puzzles and there I remain, a puzzle spread out on half the table, I, finding a piece or two every time I wander by. Good enough for me - at least right now. Still amazed that I can do this, let alone liking the challenge. The jigsaw of my life changed yet again, and I welcome all these new interests. Good for the brain they tell me!

Unfortunately, beyond jigsaws as tools and puzzles, there is the jigsaw of life in which we presently find ourselves. It is a jigsaw that is almost live, changing according to actions and words of others, and self, sometimes on an hourly rate. Old pieces no longer fit in anywhere, and new pieces, unsure of where they belong complicate the entire matter. The puzzle maker seems to be having a great deal of fun even as we struggle to keep up. A bit more time to internalize, assimilate the changes, would be most appreciated. Certainly by me!

Finally, we come to the jigsaw of life that is our fate right now. I think our karma could use a refreshing, a spring cleaning, but I sincerely doubt that will happen. As a substitute method, we need to resituate our jigsaws. In fact, some of us need to find it and the old pieces again and incorporate the pieces they have rejected. Simply because they did not like them, for various unfounded reasons. We must be alert to new, unsettling pieces trying to insert themselves in our jigsaws, where they do not belong, where they will cause havoc. On the other hand, there are new pieces that would be beneficial, help us solve this new jigsaw that we all face, the jigsaw which has turned sour on us - or perhaps because of us. We must recognize reality, adjust to it and find the correct, cooperating pieces to complete the puzzle, to create a whole, a beautiful new picture, a pleasing and most pleasant result.

It is a must that we do this. Reading the news, hearing the words and events revealed yesterday in the Jan. 6 hearing, I found my jigsaw foundering. Where have these people come from? How have they allowed, encouraged, bought into the words of a most visibly mentally ill man, a man determined to become the ruler of this country, to destroy all the old jigsaws we valued, and replace it with dark, sharp-edged pieces difficult to handle, inimical to any hope and dream of a future jigsaw beneficial to all. 

We were, on Jan. 6, perilously close to setting our personal jigsaws on fire, along with that of the nation. Too close to allow any breathing room at all. Yet we must not hold our breath and pray for the powers that be to find the pieces of their puzzles which will show what should and could be done. They will find pieces which stand for truth and justice. They will find the pieces that give them shame at what they have allowed, this most ugly harmful fungus, mold, on our country's foundation. Those who now catalogue how 'hard' they fought to avoid disaster - well, they did not do their jobs. They chose the wrong pieces of the puzzle and insisted on trying hard to make them fit, to the point of further misshaping them, causing a cascade of falling puzzles of so many, too many. Their national and personal puzzles began to darken, to exchange once very pleasant overall picture pieces into pieces of an ugly ramble and thistle infested puzzle scene with dark overtones to a degree that obscured the truth of the discarded pieces.

Thus, while we can have fun with the manufactured jigsaw puzzles, changing and adjusting, it is different with the jigsaw of our outer lives, that of our country. Once it was a jigsaw, welcoming, fitting in the new pieces, growing as the country did, allowing for positive growth and change as well as the rejection and discarding of misfit pieces. 

The current puzzle is quite different. We must return to the mentality and acceptance of that salad bowl, that bag of M&Ms, that puzzle that was the entryway for so many, a philosophy that was always challenged but always survived. Now that survival of the jigsaw puzzle is at stake. Its philosophy will be discarded, the picture grow ugly and dark. 

We need to choose the correct puzzle, the proper pieces, the good, bright ones, the permanent ones that provide the framework of the puzzle while allowing for positive change within. Jigsaws can be fun. They can be productive. But they need tending and proper process and use. Else tragedy can take place. It is that tragedy we must prevent right here in our own jigsaw puzzle of life.

BRUDGES AND GHOSTS

  We all know what ghost is, and we have seen how the new technology has given ghost a new meaning - to completely and suddenly, totally ignore someone. Without violence, it is a strong, powerful manner in which to send a message, but it must be remembered that it does hurt the ghosted one. There is no explanation, no warning, and a wounded person - or not. 

Ghosting, like most things, has two sides to it. Personally, it worked for me when some dude decided to try to begin an online relationship, beginning smoothly with a compliment on my writings on Facebook and my blog. It quickly morphed into something which made me "break out into a rash" and I blocked the dude - no warning, no explanation, but the cause and the reason was quite clear. Ironically enough, I have just finished a novel which dealt with online 'romance' relationships. Ghosting worked. Amen to that.

However, ghosts are also things that remain with us, generally a remnant of something bad, haunting us within our minds and memories. A ghost of a chance. His ghosts haunted him. The wrongly executed person haunted his cell, moaning the night through. These are 'examples' of ghosts.

Additionally, there is also a ghost which tells us, warns us, that what was once real and substantial, has now turned into a ghost of itself, barely there, losing power and semblance constantly, until total disappearance; all that will be left is a ghost memory of what once was. Camelot gone. Or sad memories losing power to hurt, some of the acute hurt losing its sharpness, though never gone completely. 

Today, America is a nation haunted by battalions of ghosts. Memories of what once was, a country beset by some issues, but a country that tried, that was earnest, that was a leader to the world, a country that stepped into two wars and turned the tide. A country which generally tried to do the right thing, though failure was always around. The ghosts of those failures haunted the psyche of the country, forcing it to recognize, for the most part, its flaws, and try hard, to do better. At times it took decades, but the oomph, the determination, the drive was there. 

At least when there was a majority of representatives who knew they owed loyalty to their constituents, knew what they needed, what they wanted. Unfortunately, today we do not have that. Today, we have representatives who represent themselves, their personal wants, weak souls who give in to their own worst desires, and/or have a loyalty not to a nation, but to a person.  This person has allegedly, egregiously, abused this country from time immemorial, before, during and after his misguided never should have been Presidency, yet the crazed loyalty, denying facts right there, continues. It must be pointed out though, that there is a panel which should be congratulated, used as a role model for future panels. And as always, the truth will out. It may take time, but that truth is persistent.

May we extinguish all these bad and shameful ghosts and return, at least try, to a better America. Notice how certain big mouths of this awful straying from America have now turned silent. Where is Gaetz? Where is Ron Johnson? Where is Scott Perry? Where is Rudy Giuliani - no, he is always there, that demented remnant of a once good man. I am haunted by his ghost, his deterioration. A hero turned sour. Sad.

Hopefully, especially with today's powerful images presented by the panel, perhaps, maybe, if only, we can put aside the ghosts that now haunt this nation, hurting its unity, its soul, its foundational stones, and work hard to retrieve what once was.

 Hopefully. Hopefully.

So, what the heck is a brudge? It apparently is a species of shark, the second largest in size, frightening as all hell as its swims powerfully at a target, its wake large and consistent, and all the ghosts of your life pass before your eyes and .... Nothing, for it is not harmful to humans. It eats plankton. Not us. It merely looks like death a comin' for you, but it is not so.

 We need to remember that. We need to be able to discern the difference between a true patriot and a false one. Michael Flynn turned on this country and all his pregnant pauses and taking the Fifths, will not save him nor resurrect his reputation. His ghosts have come home. He is most definitely not a brudge shark but rather a shark that would have hurt this nation, perhaps beyond all hope of reformation.

It is upon us to choose. Which ghosts will we reformat? Which will be destroyed? From what ghost will we learn a lesson? What ghost is a danger to the future? We need to distinguish between those who are false, hiring dangerous shark grins and teeth behind false flags, fake fronts and those who truly are people trying to do their job right, even if they are hurt by their efforts.

We need to ghost those who would harm us. We need to take away their power, their hatred which has inflicted great damage to this nation. Ghost them for sure.

Decisions of the time. Decisions for forever. Decide. It is time. It is past time.

Update on yesterday's posting. The Presbyterian Church has declared Israel an apartheid state and has declared a day of mourning for May 15, the day which the Arabs call Nakba. This continues the growth of antisemitism in the Church. The answer to that was that once their words counted - now they do not and mean nothing.

In the meanwhile, all one has to do is visit Israel and see the total integration of Arabs in the economy and workplace, in the army and Knesset, wherever they wish to go. Or visit the beautiful 3 story houses while the rest of Israel cannot find homes to buy or rent as the cost is not untouchable.

Apartheid? Not in a million years. Though Israel will continue to defend itself and its citizens, but the enemy is not the Arb working in the drugstore as a pharmacist or the student in university or the doctor or nurse in the hospital. In fact, it is very difficult to tell them apart and who cares. It is the violent, who kill and bomb. 

Is it correct to worry? You bet!!

#3 - THREE STRIKES?

 And you're out? Or should the punctuation be out!! The third approach, following, or continuing, yesterday's posting is to change the very ethos, the very composition, the very core of this country to something it was and isn't meant to be. It will change this country to such a great degree that it will prove to be unrecognizable in any shape, manner, or form. Rather, it will resemble countries of the past, the present, and those trying for the future. Countries where no one is or will ever be safe, other than a privileged few, and even they will find themselves living under constant suspicion, always having to prove themselves, never actually succeeding 100%.

This third way shatters my soul. It destroys my heart, my trust, my confidence. I think of what Trump said, that the only way to exist, to survive, is to be "untrusting". That cannot be. That man cannot represent the future truth of America, actually, the destruction of America. And yet, even as my heart and soul scream out against that possibility, the mind knows that the possibility has moved, faster and faster, into a reality and probability that will take place unless there be immediate and proactive as well as reactive steps.

Have you figured it out yet? If not, here are a few hints, not in any particular order, as the order does not make a difference, and actually maintains the reasoning behind by fear and concern. The hatred is real. It is physical. It is mental and emotional. It is real. It means blood. It means great loss and dehumanization beyond belief, among both victim and oppressor. It means turning180 degrees from what is supposed to be, to what has unfortunately been the actual truth, the ugly, bloody, eternal truth. 

Look up the dates and the names if they are unfamiliar to you and read, learn of a dark past, an increasingly common present, and a threatening future. Read and understand why my heart beats so fast, why my innards are ripped by terror, why my soul cries out, "Why?" Must it always be so? Can there never be a surety of permanence, of belonging, of acceptance? Why are our contributions to society, to history, to science, to mankind, to philanthropy always discounted, while the false and acrid blood-stained accusations proliferate? Enough!!! Will that ever be true?

1492. 1648. 1881. Kiev. Mendel Bailis. Auto-de feus. 1924 immigration law. 1948.  1933 -1945. One plus one plus one plus one plus one to ....  To the count of millions. Cossacks. Henry Ford. Protocols of Zion. Oath Keepers. Tree of Life synagogue. Ilan Halimi. Growing right wing Christianity. Evangelical adherents turning on their own beliefs. Pogroms. Quotas. Secret agreements. Implied, implicit, explicit - take your choice, or do all three.

Got it yet? Separation of church and state a "myth"?Blending of Christianity - a perverted false one - and conspiracy theories. "Jesus, Guns, and Babies" shouted at rallies.  Declaring the country, my country, your country, a Christian nation - forcefully, only, restrictively. Claims that the Constitution is based on the Bible. A campaign and heavy-duty efforts to leverage, to build upon, this ever increasing, ever more fervid extreme right-wing religionists as they attempt take over the government at all stages. A sword inscribed with "For God and Country' given as a reward and why? "Because you've been cutting a lot of heads off". "You are fighting for our religious rights in Christ Jesus, and so we wanted to bless you with that sword of David."

How ironic that evident facts are overlooked or disregarded. David was a Jewish hero and King. Jesus was born, lived, and died as a Jew. His speeches spoke of many elementary principles of Judaism, railing against corruption. Not new actions for any Jew. But Crusades and butchery was the way Christianity chose for too long.

Make no mistake. This Christianity is not what it purports to be. It is a Christianity that used that name as a costume, a deadly one, which will uncloak as a hater of all but their views. Jews, Hindus, Moslems, Bahai, Catholics. LGBTQ+. Single parents. Contraception. Women's rights and acceptance, recognition as equal to all. And on and on and on.

My heart breaks as I see this hatred encouraged, bought into by troubled souls looking for a quick fix to all the problems they see and have. This is not Christianity. This is not truth.

This is not, cannot be, my country. I do not ever expect every American to recognize eternal truths, but I do, at least till now, have faith in their inner core, in the education they received, in life. Evidently, I am now being proven wrong, dreadfully so.

Thus, the results. The wondering if my Christian friends will speak for me, protect me. The fear of wondering, three years from now if we should have left then and too late now. Nowhere to go. No country a refuge. A Bermuda Conference repetition. Yet another attempt to extirpate Jews from society, from life itself? Wonder why I am truly frightened, growing more each and every day? Wondering, worrying, to my last cell, what will happen to my kids, grandchildren and future generations? Will there even be any future at all for them?

Think I am wrong, jumping the shark? Go read history. Read the newspapers of the times - past and present. Hear the interviews and podcasts, newscasts, political analysis. Feel the crunch of hate thrust against your jaw, undercutting your knees, with no help in sight. It has happened - again and again - in counties where Jews were among the highest ranks of society and government, thinking they were of that nation as a first descriptive term. Read of their great shock when they were 'outed' as eternal aliens, eternal others, eternal scapegoats for the woes and ills of the world.

This country today leaves a frightened woman all alone in a Russian jail cell, facing unjust 'punishment', as a political pawn, the currency of a nation. Why have we abandoned her? Because, she, like the Jewish person is different? Because she IS a woman? Why? And why do I see a horrid ad asking why use something else, when you can have a Jew. What the hell is that?! Why is that even printed? Is it because that person feels the hate directed against him and uses that hate to increase his business or to keep others safe? Cannot answer that, but both incidents are indicative of society's ill-chosen turns.

Yes, this is the third way, the worst way, yet perhaps the more likely, probable way. It cannot be. It should not be. Yet the doubt, the fear, the ugliness of it all befogs all else.

And hot off the press. San Antonio's Jewish congregations were told to cancel all prayer services on Saturday due to threats. Where are we living? How are we living?

 

IF IT AIN'T BROKE ...

.... don't fix it. We all know that and repeat it often. However, what if it is broken and we had not yet caught on to that fact? What if we do not realize the extent to which that 'it' is broken? What if it is so broken that it is beyond repair, or perhaps it is only a massive, once unthought of way in which to fix the broken. In fact, how do we even know how to distinguish the truly broken from the imagined broken, to the not broken but absolutely on edge to be just that? It boggles the mind and disheartens the soul.

Here is another scenario. What if something is truly broken, not necessarily an earthshaking state of being, but one which would be nice to fix. So we do a little trim here and a little bite over there and stand back and congratulate ourselves on a job well done. Then we take a second glance back and see some unevenness, so we trim that a bit, causing another, another, and another time and fix and before one knows it, all that 'minor fixing' has created a monster change, one big enough to swallow all before it, all that will follow, and this 'broken' cannot be fixed. Permanency sets in.

We are broken. We are so very, very, broken. From the Tories to the Anglophiles and Francophiles of 1812 to dissenters to abolition, to entrenched defenders of state rights over federal rights, particularly as it benefits them, to the careless, the greedy, the cult worshippers and the treasonous. We have always had our cracks in the foundations of this country. We have always attempted to fix those cracks. We have dug deep to ensure a good fix and we have papered over the cracks in a pathetic attempt to cover a mess, allowing for a burgeoning, democracy threat to emerge later on.

Yesterday I read of three approaches to fixing our broken country. They all have adherents, but some are much more frightening than others. The first makes a whole lot of sense, as anyone in a classroom knows. This one says to simply ignore the squeaking wheels, pay attention to the truth. To what the quiet constituents truly want, not what the self-impressed so-called representatives say and vote. Pay attention to the good, the sincere, rather than reward the bad with attention. Simple classroom management. It takes time, but eventually the fix seeps through and fixed it is.

The second fix is basically to take an extreme step, once thought impossible, once thought to have been fixed forever, denied forever, yet it is back. We have become very vocal re our concern for this country. We have written, spoken of, thought of, even acted upon the growing probability, ever so much more now than a possibility, of the splitting of this country according to the ways in which it has splintered. That means giving up on this, our, country. That means weakening democracy's viability, almost ensuring that it will die, never more to return, as we morph over into autocracies and constant minor sniping and irritating issues.

To paraphrase the words of a quiet letter to the editor, one writer very calmly states that our time as the successful American Experiment is over. Nor do we need that, looming bloody civil war to fix the woes and ills that afflict us. Nope. He suggests divorce. A divorce according to the prevailing views of the residents of the two or three separate parts of the once whole union. He even mentions EUSA - The Eastern United States of America. Will it come to that? Is that indeed the "better" way, the less bloody way?

Time and people will make the decision on that approach. Many feel, are afraid, concerned about the growing statements to dissolve this country one way or another, to have a civil war beyond anything we have known before. Perhaps the better solution would be a simple, if not amicable, at least peaceful divorce. Though I have expressed my fears re just that possibility, that awful scenario, the 'divorce', it does not go down well with me and with many others. To simply turn tail on history, to mock the deeds of so many, just does not work for me.

The third approach is in fact, far more frightening in my thinking, leading to murderous results in a drastically altered country, one which will unfortunately emulate the worst of history, all in the name of a god which I do not recognize in any shape, way, or form. That is not to deny a G-d, for I do not, just have a very different interpretation of a god's role here, what an invocation of god into this battle means. And it ain't good. It is a broken item from the start. Fixing it? A major, bloody, long lasting, battle leaving behind a permanent bitter aftertaste, always present, always threatening, never to be able to be permanently fixed. Mankind has demonstrated that over and over again; apparently, we are too thickheaded to get it. 

It also requires a posting alone, so tune in tomorrow for a presentation of the third approach. A most frightening approach, a growing approach, a most dangerous, life-threatening approach. A doomsday approach and perverted way of thinking that will forever alter 'America'. Worse, it is already here. It bloody well scares me to death - and should do the same to you - I hope. I pray.

CARRIAGES AND BIKES, SPINES AND TOMORROWS, PENS AND COURAGE

 Remember "Stop the world, I want to get off"? It has become an iconic line by now yet how ironically true it has become. From sarcasm to humor to tragedy, where the hell are we and where the hell are we going - if not to that very Hell itself? Unable to sleep a night through, I often have time to say, "navel watch", during which I contemplate the world and the events and believe me, that iconic statement often comes to mind, hanging right there on the tip of my tongue.

At times I wonder if it is the water or the air, but there must be something so powerful, so common, that enables these unbelievable thoughts, traits and actions among people round the world. We sigh in resignation re our governing people; we shake our heads knowingly as they are marched off to jail for some crime or another. However, never ever before have we, in America, faced conditions such as we are right now. The heights to which this unease, unrest, the splintering of the nation is almost - almost - beyond belief. Is it also beyond repair, beyond correction? Wiser heads than mine are asking these same questions. Hope their answers are better than mine. I truly do.

Vignettes in pictures and words:

A train of baby carriages being cleared away in Highland Park. Bikes trailing behind.

An 8-year-old boy breathing on a respirator, doctors unsure whether he will ever walk again. Eight!

Vesper - a movie that is too frighteningly realistic in its predictive ecological post-apocalyptic world and the standard class differences remaining. Guess we never learn. (sigh)

And what awaits us when Cipollone talks - " he may know things we don't even know about yet that he could reveal to them tomorrow during this interview."   and this statement proves prophetic? Will we finally rise up to our responsibilities and place the whole shootin' shebang of them on trial and imprison the entire devious treasonous pack? 

Now get this double talk. First this: "members of a state Senate committee advanced a constitutional amendment that would declare Pennsylvania residents do not have ‘any rights relating’ to abortion," 

and then this: "The bill's sponsor, Sen. Judy Ward, R-Blair, said that this would not ban abortions in the state"  Huh! Say what?

Now go totally political, deep into the sick, unhealthy, hypocritical very troubling world it has become, beyond repair being the main question and concern. But how, when a person asked if kids should be taught that slavery is bad, hems and haws, and points out there are two sides to the issue -riiiight.... and goes on to say, yes, we need to teach our kids our history, but slavery, Indians, that stuff, - not necessary.  Uh-huh!

The choice is crystal clear. Either we shape up, get these thickheaded unthinkers to realize they have placed our country in existential peril, by words, with actions, with continuing insistence on choosing the most manifestly dangerous people for whom they will carry standards-right into full blown authoritarianism, right here in the good old USA, or.... "The test for ‘NeverTrump’ intellecuals [sic] is where they stand on DeSantis. He should be their guy: elite education, military background, leadership experience, impeccable character.... "DeSantis is a deeply authoritarian figure who is consolidating the fringe right-wing groups Trump brought into the party." 

And this man is their new champion? I know how bad he is for people - I live in Florida.

Finally, while initially referring to the hideous gun violence in this country, certainly, these statements can apply to the entire issue, the whole gestalt. Either we do what we must, gear up for action, or we reap the 'benefits' of our own inadequacy.

“If you’re angry today, I’m here to tell you: Be angry. I’m furious,” 

“I know it can be exhausting and unsettling,” he said, adding that “we’re going to get through all of this.”

“They may think they can change our lives with the stroke of a pen, but we have pens too,”

The final question. As it relates to the entire problematic ugly new reality we now face. For ourselves and for our children. For the sake of history and honor to those who have worked, fought, died, for us, for freedom, for a chance to improve ourselves and the world -

 “How much more carnage are we willing to accept?”

 

WHICH END IS UP?

  One AM in the morning, dizzy from jet lag, medicine mess-ups and just plain mammothly overtired state of being, I am truly not so sure right now what end is which! How to convert time changes to medicine timing without going down for the count? Which language to use as I spoke to the personnel in the airport in Hebrew, wishing them "Yom Tov" - a good day. Their new go to goodbye. Fair enough though I remain a fan of Boker Tov or Erev Tov - using the times of the day. Oh well, easily adjustable, no biggie.

Israel is jammed. Politicians on our dime taking their trips. Evangelical missions. Religious groupings of other denominations. I have even been told that I am lucky, blessed even, for when the 'enemy' comes for Israel, the Lord will send down His armies of angels and the world will be saved. Halevai!! if only. Not too sure right now what G-d thinks of His people, His world. Apparently, I am in august company as I am also not too sure of G-d's thoughts right now, and frankly, anyone who claims to know so and acts upon that supposed 'surety' of knowledge, is either just plain nuts or well on the way, or benighted, the poor thing, or has malevolent motivation behind statements and actions. In the meanwhile, Israel keeps trundling along, fighting enemies of their own making in the Knesset, dealing with outside hostility towards them, takes in strides the new rapport with some Arab states, and sigh as once again there will be yet another election. Five in three years. And most assuredly not done yet! And life goes on. Yes!!

Then I come 'home' last night? Yesterday morning? Today? Not quite sure. All I know is that I have to rip apart luggage and distribute all the goodies to their proper destinations. Fed Ex here we come! And now back to the original issue - when do I take my meds and and should I remain up, hopefully vertical and steady, or do I try to fiddle around with timing and hope I get it right. Not making or taking any bets here, folks.

Next. What is going on in the country, as America and its myriad issues seemed so far away for close to two weeks. The question of whether to take the bullet train to Tel Aviv vs. a cab, door to door, that is what occupies my thinking. Should we eat out or in? New restaurant or old favorite? When to say goodbye to our family and friends, especially our newly found family? When do we come back? In fact, why are we leaving?

As if the entire state of Israel could read my rather cluttered mind, I kept hearing the word Habayta  to home, the home. Was I indeed leaving what should be, what we had long ago planned to be our home or am I going home when I return to the USA? Do I give up on America, my home indeed for lo these many a year, home to my family who came as immigrants, allowing them to build a future? To be safe from rampaging bloodthirsty mobs? Where do I belong?

That question, that dichotomy of thought, takes up permanent living space within my heart and soul. Who am I? I am a once proud American, native to the country patriot, believer in its principles, and trusting, at least to a degree, those who have been elected to office. That they will have a modicum of sense and responsibility to realize their job is not to promote a Party. Nor a person and cult. Only to serve the people, with disagreement, but also with civility and understanding of the truth of the bottom line. Once, I truly believed that and trusted in it. So, I found out, much to my dismay, that I was a fool - and now the question is whether I remain a fool, content to remain so, fool myself into thinking there remains hope or do I face reality, see the hopelessness, and act and decide accordingly?

I hear the echoes of Robin Williams calling out, "Good morning, America!" Does anyone hear that clarion call, that need to pay attention? That need, so urgent, to pick ourselves out of wherever we have buried our love of country, our optimism, our opposition to fascists? Be they foreign or homegrown, a fascist remains one and must be approached that way. Never mind what they once were or professed. It is what they are doing and saying do now, what words issue forth from their false tongues and mouths. It is what they have turned their backs to and what they espouse now.

How do we trust politicians who refuse to obey the law, who shout with frightening masks of hatred in once august chambers? Graham - what a hypocritical creep, a danger to the country. Boebert, Goehmer, Perry, Scott, Johnson, Cruz, Goetz, AOC, Manchin, DeSantis, Greene, Omar, Tlaib, and why does this list grow apace, their owners, their daring to publicly flaunt others, to brag and boast of their poisonous beliefs.

Campaigning on cancellation of the DACA program. Ripping the right of choice and self-decision from women and what will now ensue? Mandating birth, no matter the cause or consequence, and then cutting social safety nets to raise these children? What the Hell!! Herschel Walker pans absentee fathers even as he denies and neglects three of his own!! Graham refusing a subpoena, defying clear law and responsibility, clear duty as a 'leader', G-d help us!!

A Supreme Court which bears a growing resemblance to an Inquisition tribunal. Threats and spells and accusations. Rabid religious leaders shouting so hard they deafen the very ears of parishioners, harden their hearts, turning them to stone as they are coaxed, urged, pushed, threatened into acceptance of truly weird and dangerous thinking.

Running on " on a platform of "Jesus, Guns and Babies," . Then we have a ringing, oh so justified and righteous call raging for the destruction of a monument calling it Satanic, whoo boy! Are my antennae up and quivering madly.

When a country begins to emphasize one religion, to rule a country with and by religion, impose those views on other religions, forget the separation of Church and State, well, as an American, and as a Jew, with long racial, historical genetic memories of hurt, of death of danger - I am scared. Right out of any place of confidence or trust. Yes, there are good people out there who will protest, who will aid, who will fight - but are there enough?

That answer is historically proven be a true and resounding, 

 NO!!

 Yes, I am a Jew.

Yes, I take pride in my heritage.

No, I do not trust the majority of you to do right by me, mine and history. Or even yourselves.

Convince me otherwise - if you can, if you care, if you agree. Or do you agree with the opposition choice?

Examine your soul, your heart, your gut and your brain. Deep and true.

BUT DOES IT REALLY?

  What really? What but? What 'it'? In these days of constant onrushing, often overwhelming breaking news, how do we distinguish between them, choose from among them what truly matters? What is long-lasting and what is ephemeral, transient? The real from the fake? The need to know from the not? How, in fact, are we to order our lives when we are given practically no time to think, to mull, to consider, to weigh and evaluate? Bombarded by onrushing events, how can we figure out what to do, face and accept the often harsh, disappointing, soul devastating truths and respond accordingly? 

So, yes, it -whatever 'it' is at the moment matters. A great deal. Decisions about what needs to be done will have consequences down through the years, even as prior 'its' affect our times. We need to examine some of those 'it' topics, understand deep within our very being that our reactions to the 'it', the many of them, will determine much of the rest of our lives and lives to come. Hence, the need to  think forward, to understand consequences and the permanence of them.

It is said that nothing happens in a vacuum; so wrong, for things do happen in a vacuum, generally not such good things! When there is a growing vacuum of intelligent leaders, when there is a growing vacuum of morality, of compassion, of recognition of the humanity of all - there is trouble, manifestly, overwhelmingly so. Unfortunately, such has been the atmosphere of the USA for too many years.

We have grown apart. We have shredded our flag as a symbol of US, of togetherness, of 'Americaness', have allowed MAGA to expropriate it for themselves. We have lost our way and the day we set aside to celebrate our country's independence, has turned out to be the day which highlighted all the 'buts', all the its, all that matters in the short and long run of it all.

 How far we have strayed off the path of sanity. 7 dead, 26 wounded, lives shattered for all time, and here is the oh so profound, oh so caring response from a GOP candidate for office.

“The shooter is still at large so let’s pray for justice to prevail, and then let’s move on and let’s celebrate the independence of this nation.”

So let us indeed, "move on", all the while ignoring the streams and rivers and pooling of blood, united together in death as they could not be in life.

What matters here? Is it the fact that a weird looking dude could have the intelligence to plan, down to the last detail, how to get away unnoticed, to buy, amass numbers of weapons, get on a roof and shoot a high powered rifle, some 70 shots? Oh, we can blame security, of course, but that is the wrong conclusion. The truth is, the 'mattering' of it, is that gun proliferation is out of control. When a Supreme Court Justice can say and later, years later, days ago, get his way, it matters. 

"The ordinance criminalizes modern sporting rifles (e.g., AR-style semi automatic rifles), which many Americans own for lawful purposes like self-defense, hunting, and target shooting," the dissent said. 

Thomas deemed the city's ban "highly suspect because it broadly prohibits common semiautomatic firearms used for lawful purposes."

 As for us, we are to grin and bear it, and "move on", insisting that there are legitimate reasons for such weapons to be in the hands of civilians, of crooks, and madmen. The right to own a killing weapon over the right of people to live lives out, without getting shot, murdered, in everyday life?  You weigh it on your scale. Imagine your family having been there, on that street, perhaps the little one getting adorably ice creamed faced and then.... No more then to follow, or a very different 'then'. But take comfort that you, your kid fought to the death for the right to be shot down dead! Validating an "American" right. So warm. So comforting!

“Any traumatic event has consequences and changes someone.”

Said about a character in a popular TV show, how much more truth is there in real life? What are we doing to each other? Why are we cooperating, allowing, for the growth of a most dangerous vacuum? Where has respect for others gone? When the right of another to own a killing weapon trumps your right to live? When a hard fought right to vote, is being shredded by hatred infused people who refuse to recognize the equality and humanity of all, the value of an individual. All leading to a political and moral vacuum from whence only evil can emerge. So proud we should be over such an achievement!! Such a hard fought war!

Just a few more "it" items.

Jews in Russia are developing fear of a new Iron Curtain locking them in again, as the Jewish Agency, which helps immigration to Israel, is shuttered by Putin. 

Jews in Canada afraid for their lives as a shopping area of Jewish stores is invaded, store owners  threatened by BDS, for they are coming for them.

When the shooting takes place in a definable, recognizable Jewish area.

When a principal in a NYC school, "gains control" of the school and fires teachers for being white, the wrong color.

When the Justice Department has to sue states over their infringement on the voting rights of minorities, in fact anyone who disagrees with them.

When a rogue Supreme Court and six Justices forget their role and act in a  severe partisan manner, are systematically destroying the very fabric, the very soul of this country. 

When women are reclassified as second class citizens, denied the right to make their own health decisions and lest one think a hospital will save endangered lives, think again. The growing health centers are Catholic,  unknown to many, where the value of a woman's life is very low on a most definitely skewed value scale. Ectopic pregnancy? Nope, go away, smells too much like an abortion!

When Brittney Griner writes a pleading letter to Biden to save her, when her words echo within, for in a way we are all with her, held prisoner by evil, yes, evil people. And why the hell has she not been freed yet!!! She is being callously used as  a political pawn by Putin and he needs a free her or else ultimatum and NOW!

Many 'it' issues. Many things that do matter.

How do we manage? How do we prioritize?

Way above my pay grade, though I do try to do my best in my pay grade level. That is all we can ask of each other and of ourselves. Together is the answer.

LOTSA' STUFF

  Well, folks, there remains a whole lotta' stuff to do, lotsa' stuff going on and apparently the good Lord above continues to work in mysterious ways. Whether we get miracles or simply the righting of wrongs, hey, I'll take what we can get. Of course, a miracle such as winning the lottery wouldn't be spurned either!!

Seriously, this is a truly tough time for the world in general, the USA in particular, and the Jews specifically. Nothing seems to be going right, pratfalls all over the place by our so undistinguished dignitaries, and the hatred grows apace. However, continuing along the theme of history, as bad as it has been, we Jews have a champion above. At times He forgets about us for too long and we lose our way, fall into tragic times, but at the end, there is usually a righting of the wrongs, at least to a degree. Babylonians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Philistines, Assyrians, the Crusaders, the Inquisition, hostile Arab states, Nazis - and where are they and where are we?

The clock ticks, the wheel of time rolls round and round, whatever metaphor one likes, there is always a well deserved payback. Thus, the mini victory for the world, unnoticed, was the thumbing of our noses at Hitler and acolytes - we are here! Our family grows again. We remain! We grow and thrive. And screw you!

Yes, there is a dangerous, threatening growth of antisemitism out in the open, groups openly wearing ominous uniform shirts, sending echoes of the past with Brown Shirts, Black Shirts, and white sheets, but the majority of people are disgusted with them, tired of them, and they will wither at their roots. "His miracles to perform"! It might take time, and there could be horrors and tragedies along the way, but we will survive, we will outlive the enemies, regroup, rebuild decimated families and honor the lost.

Payback time, Ilhan Omar. You represented a first for a proud people, Somalis, many of whom had found refuge in Israel, crossing the desert to do so. And in the throes of your insane hatred for Jews, for Israel, for any and all things positive for the Jewish nation, you forgot that your people are not insane with you. They have pressing issues. They are not worried about Palestinians who in reality are doing just fine - come to Israel and see the homes they build, the cars they drive, the freedom with which they walk the streets of Israel. Their numbers in professions of respect. All Israel asks is that the violence not be encouraged. For all to live in peace and prosperity.

You have failed your community, ignored their needs, their concerns over their families back in Somalia, facing dire famine and starvation. You have dallied hatefully with Palestinian bigots and pushers of violence, who have taken advantage of the Somali community. You immersed yourself in hate and the payback is beginning. As you were booed - BOOED - at a rally of Somali-Americans. Hurrah! May your downfall be quick. May you earn what you deserve.

And so will it be for the rest of the deluded, hate-filled antisemites of America and the world. Peace and commerce with Arab nations are at a better place. People wonder what the Palestinian organizations have done with the billions of funding they have received, other than to enrich the leaders, and pay for terrorism. We continue to learn, discover new manners and means of technology and medicine. We are here, giving much to the world, as Mark Twain noted long ago.

With all the woes that have befallen the Jewish nation, we remain alive and well. WE thrive. WE contribute, We are here.

Am Yisrael Chai! The Jewish nation lives on.

I am a Jew! And proud of it too.

A DREAM ACHIEVED

This evening was the culmination of a dream, years in the making, turning out even better than I could have anticipated. It is a dream which arose out of Jewish history, longing, and tragedy. It was a dream born from love for a grandparent and a deep curiosity as to exactly where and what happened to family, disappeared in the evil winds and minds of WWII. It was a dream which, though fulfilled, left even larger holes than before, holes which apparently will never be filled in.

It is one of the biggest answers to COVID and lockdowns. People began to fill their newly acquired downtime by researching family roots and at times, made astounding discoveries. Mind you that whole world is rife with errors with people entering misinformation unknowingly, and with good intent. The information must be sifted several times and confirmed even more times, with a necessary strength to take the setbacks and begin over. Again and again.

But payoff is there, finally, at some point down this road of discovery. For Jews, it is often quite difficult to trace the thread back, beyond the imposition or requirement of last names, beyond the destruction of records, beyond the demands necessitated by conditions. For example, due to excess taxes on Jews and forced conscription for terms of 25 years into the armies of countries, particularly the Russian Empire, expressly meant to kill the Jew in these boys, Jewish boys often were  registered as births of girls, or parceled out, to  other families with exemptions for single sons or second sons. And, of course, the overwhelming numbers of those fleeing danger often snapped the ties to family members left behind.

All this was exacerbated by the tragedies of the Holocaust, the Shoah, wherein literally millions upon millions of people of Jewish ancestry were simply gone, just disappeared, gone up in smoke, coating the sky and the ground with their ashes and bone remnants. Gone. Not there. Entire villages, city populations more than decimated by the horrors of Naziism and fanatical hatred of Jews. By greed. By indifference. By apathy. Entire huge extended families simply wiped out, erased from memory as there was no one left to remember. Americans of Jewish ancestry, when trying to trace roots back, were stymied by the death, destruction, the burning of records, by the masses of Jews simply shot and buried under heaving mounds of earth, their names unrecorded save by photos taken by the murderers.

For their entire life after the war, my grandparents lived under a great burden, almost unbearable, of sadness so deep that it burned its way deep into their souls. 

For years after the war they searched as best they could under bad conditions. The disaster that was Europe with huge numbers of displaced people, with inadequate methods by which to list survivors, at time being simple lists of names tacked onto walls, or by word of mouth. Has anybody seen so and so? Has anybody any knowledge of what happened to so and so after the camp was evacuated? Does anyone know anything!! A tragic  remnant trying desperately to find anchors for unbearably destroyed lives. 

Neither of my grandparents were able to find anyone, left with unanswerable voids, they barely spoke of families, especially my grandfather. On the other side, my grandparents knew what had happened - the Nazis, aided by Lithuanian sympathizers simply herded them into a ravine in September 1941 and killed them all, or had them fall into gasoline storage pits in Ponar Forest.

Was it better to know for sure or not? Was there an ability to hope that no news was good news, maybe someone was there, just difficult to find? I cannot answer that, have no right to answer that, nor to ask those questions of them. And then a miracle! We actually found modern day miracles, survivors of the family who never were able to find each other, even those who came to the the State of Israel. Some were able to find connections after decades. Others not.

Here is where we came into play. Desperate to avenge my grandparents, to make up for their anguish, we began to search through documents, old illegible records, impossible darkness of deed and soul. I promised my grandmother I would find out the fates of her sisters, her mother - for whom I was named, her nieces and nephews. Members of her extended family. I promised her, as she looked down from above that I would do my best. I promised the same to my grandfather.

And we found them! We found survivors. We found several nephews. We found some cousins. And a photo of my great grandmother, records of the families. We read historical documents. I called up to the heavens, to my grandmother that I had kept my promise; I had found the truth, and miraculous life. Bubby, I did it for you -and for me and the kids to follow. To know from whom we come, to know our family history.

There remain many unknowns, many walls to climb to delve deeper into the family. As for my grandfather - no one. Not a soul. Nary a one. We finally located his small village outside the city of Vitebsk and in a Yizkor Book, a memorial book dedicated to a  city and community that once was, we found his family. Page after page of names - all murdered or hauled off to Siberia with retreating Russian soldiers, there to survive or not, in a brutal world. Bogorad. Bograd. Bogyrad. If only I can find someone, anyone.

The dream? Yes, to have a gathering of  families from all sides. Plans destroyed by COVID, but last nite it came into fruition. Close to 30 of us, gathered, talking, hugging, crying, regaling each other with our histories and lives. Exchanging emails and promises. And there I was, knowing that Gerry and I had done good! With, G-d willing, more to follow.

A dream come true, albeit the laughter and joy were diluted with tears, with tragedy, with thoughts of what might have been, what should  have been. A dream, polluted by tragedy of infinite depth and horror. of an irreplaceable and non understandable, unimaginable loss - and yet there it was. And there too was my grandmother's great nephew, my first cousin, and his grandson.

I am determined to fill out this dream. We vowed to do this again in a year or so. I hope and pray we do so, with more family joining, and in the meanwhile tighten the bonds of family, of a people seeking only peace, respite from horror, a reliable home. Habayta -to home, the eternal prayer of the Jewish nation.

FINGERS IN THE PAST

  An interesting concept. There was a meeting of descendants - children of survivors and children of Nazis in a place where the survivors lived for years in a DP camp, right near the camp where they had been slave labor and tortured beyond any kind of comprehension. They exchanged family stories, apparently seeking some kind of understanding. One soldier had asked his family what his grandfather had done during the war and they said to leave it alone, did not matter - ‘Why do you want to put your fingers into the past? We don’t want to know what happened,’ they said."  The grandfather had been a Nazi propagandist. Well, without those fingers, many fingers, throughout history, we would all have been worse off than we are at present. Fingers matter.

Continuing on my thinking re who I am, particularly my Jewish affect, I can easily transfer that thought into the Jewish spin on it - said both in jest and in all seriousness, with a knowledge learned over the centuries. A harsh knowledge, that when forgotten leads to tragic consequences.

"Is it good for the Jews?"

 Not asked out of selfishness, but out of a deep and bitter centuries learning cycle. If things are bad in society, they are generally bad for the Jews. When the Jews become the targets of extremists, of haters, of fascists, it is a signal to the rest of society, to WAKE UP! Nothing happens in a vacuum. Nothing happens overnight. It is only that people close their eyes to ugly unwanted truths, bothersome, troublesome truths that we try to magically wish away. Playing the game of "if I do not acknowledge it, it does not exist"  - along with the corollary, of "It can't, won't happen here."

Yes it can and yes it will unless we get on guard. Numerous people way smarter than I am, though slower than I was to pick up on the truth of Trump, have warned us re the near success of Traitor Trump's plan to overthrow the government, to turn upside down the peaceful transfer of power, to become the monarch that George Washington turned down. That threat, that existential danger remains, can bite us good and hard unless we do what we must, painful as it might be, lest we find ourselves in a 'It did happen here' society. Bad for the Jews and bad for everyone, for hatred, unfairness, inequality, will fall upon an entire society, the only difference being that it will happen to the Jews first. Always and forever. So the fingers into the past tell us.

Yet the fingers are proving inadequate to the task. Violence rules the streets with the Supreme Court enabling more violence. It has become a joke, a dangerous joke, of a Court, as it smashes the barrier between state and church, and what next - a return to the time when Jews were forced into reciting Christian prayers in schools and related events? A fundamentalist Christian right wing nationalistic country is bad for the Jews and bad for all. Yet here it is, becoming clearer and clearer, the closer it gets to us. As the possibility of a future like that grows closer and closer to a present probability.

 Unless we wake up, face reality, as much as we wish it were not so and act. ACT. Force out dangerous bigots of judges with plans of their own, with political goals inimical to the rest of us. Say no to dangerous morons who continue to insist that women have power over rapists, who are the ones to control pregnancy and semen!!! Or that the vaccine is made of cells of aborted fetuses. Who would insist that a woman with an ectopic pregnancy die, rather than end that misplaced egg.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But so very much not so. These words come from the mouths of supposed leaders of society. G-d help that society, manifestly not good for the Jews nor anyone else. A society where ignorance is the rule. Where hatred, devolving policies are the name of the game. Where someone as dangerous as DeSantis can appear to be a front runner. The man is more dangerous than Trump as he is cruel, bigoted, bad for all, yet not demented in the same way as Trump, with more knowledge of how to play a winning, poisonous game, gather more traitors to his Party, perhaps to his wished for private uniformed militia.

This cannot be. It must not be.

It is bad for the Jews.

It is bad for American society.

It is bad for the world.

We have been there, done that - is it not enough already?