A BIT OF MORNING PHILOSOPHY

    

Happy YentaMay 29, 2016 at 6:59 PM

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     "Ah, the shit for brains is off her meds again! Use the CV Messenger to wipe your ass honey!"

     What are those two statements or remarks? Those are the remarks or comments sent to My Village blog and to me after I posted a comment and an article that evidently displeased them. The Happy Yenta is a common alias of someone who resides right here in the Village and who loves to call me filthy names, to use anti Semitic remarks, anti gender comments and to be just a nasty character overall. I am quite surprised that he even had the temerity to write now as he knows that he is in a legal swamp up to his neck but then again, he is a moron. The blogmeister of My Village took his remarks off line. I do not allow them to get on line as they must pass thru my filter first and now you know why I have this filter.

     His remark to me, the second one, was written in much better grammar than normal (sorry, the English teacher in me just keeps noticing these things!) but the filth is the same. So why did I publish it here in my blog? Simply to illustrate the level of people that we are dealing with and the fact that the head honcho condones this behavior, apparently even encourages it as it lets the filth go forth while he apparently remains aloof. But one cannot remain aloof from hate. One cannot remain aloof from the mud in which one treads. One cannot remain aloof from the causal factor that rest squarely on one's shoulder.

     In any case, write I do and write I will, about anything and everything that interests me, be it the antipathy that I feel towards Putin, the concern I have about a Morocco that seems to have lost its mind, a religion that appears to think that killing any and all who disagree with their particular form of that religion is deserving of death and actually, most of these terrorists are not even religious but in fact just another version of gang mentality, no better than the Bloods or the Crips or the gangs from Costa Rico that end up here or the Latin Kings or whatever. Putting a religious overtone on something does not make it so.

     And in the same vein of concern, in particular because I live here and am hoping to remain here until they carry me out, I worry about, fret about, the poor leadership, the harmful leadership we have here. I know that that particular statement will earn me some lovely comments in return, which I, in turn, will block, but it makes no never mind. The truth must be stated and the fact is that this leader of ours has bought hook, line and sinker into the growing fascistic movements of the world, those "governmental systems that assert complete power and emphasizes aggressive nationalism and often racism." Change the nationalism to a word which fits our home, such as Davidism or change racism to misogyny or any other word one chooses and there you have the simple act of repression, the simple philosophy  that wishes to maintain complete power and that does not allow an opposition to live - well, look around you here and think back on the threats, on the tricks, on the behaviorisms of those who are nominally in power. When a simple under five minute chat about a book club that I attended caused a prominent member of this administration to foam at the mouth and tell the Graggs in  no uncertain terms that "she will never be on the radio" - well, nuff said!

     So yes, I love our country ad I love my home. I love being an American and I know my rights. I also have grown a thick skin over the years so these filthy minds of others, of the opposition to me and others like me, do not threaten me, do not stop me from doing what I wish to do, from saying what I wish to say. Such is life, my dear opponents so grow up and deal with it as adults already. So I might use the Rag to wrap some fish, or just chuck it in recycling or even not bother with it for it has no use to me other than to see the trash that is placed within its pages, but I will continue to ask questions, to challenge and to ask where our money is going and just what is the truth about the real hike we will have to have next year in our fees and what will happen if we keep putting off use of proper financial accounting for our needs and funding. And no - never mind the "creative" accounting. The Treasurer even admits how we are going to be bitten hard, right in the rear, if we do not do things properly.
     By the way, just read an interesting article about the "troll" army that Russia has. These are people who are online agitators, chasing down all who disagree with them i.e. anti Russian posts or the truth about the Russian army being where it does not belong and this word, troll, befits the situation here in the Village, what with the army of trolls from UCO overusing the blogs to find any and all anti UCO comment or anti the current administration and then harassing the poster. Hmmmm, sounds familiar. Always on the cutting edge, huh, my dear man. But sometimes the cutting edge cuts both ways.

     So to hell with all of those bullies and onward I will write. Stay tuned for more tomorrow! Do not like that? Tough bugs!!

LATE LATE LATE

     So sorry for no entry today until now. We have been flying since forever this morning, or rather the middle of the nite and just got home. You would not believe how many people are in the airport checking in and going thru security, all listening to the 2 hour warning given by the TSA who now have decided that it is the fault of the passengers for the long lines! Yup. That is what they said. The tram in the airport in Pittsburgh - love that airport - was jammed at 5:30 AM.
     In any case, I loved our visit, loved the hugs and kisses and little talks and homemade cards and just walking holding a little hand. I loved a little six year old explaining patiently to me why I should have known that 70 plus 60 is 130 and asking me why I had forgotten these facts! The girls are delicious, each one sweeter than the other, bright and beautiful. and my baseball phenom smacked a homer over the fence last nite and pitched as well! I was also informed that for his bar mitzvah - three years in the future, he would love a special bat that sells for $200, but if I thought it was too much that would be okay too. He is like sugar! For that kid I would get multiple bats!
     Of course, since it was our last day there yesterday, we went for a walk in the forest primeval. Be assured that this specific walk cost my son his part in the will!!!  OMG!!! the first part was nice, a semi civilized walk on a wide path, lots of ups and downs but we saw another deer, saw little creeks, all sorts of trees and just enjoyed walking and talking and then I said that it was time to return so sonny boy decided that we would use this little side path as a short cut. Famous last words!! It turned into a tiny footpath, barely able to be trod upon what with the mud and gunk and this aging Nature child only wanted to lay down and quit. By the time we found our way out with two kids scouting ahead and me asking desperately of a jogger! Was she nuts or what! if there was an end to this and I was  assured of that fact, the heavens opened - a perfect end. And actually it was as we all found our way back to the car, laughing and teasing and trust me, I got my share of that!
     Unfortunately the joys of family visits does not quite cover up the goings on in the world, the presidential campaign and a big oy on that, nor the machinations going on again here in the Village. The filthy language is back and I will copy and paste the latest love note sent to me and then perhaps some of you out there will understand why I keep writing, why I do this. No, I am not a masochist and no, I do not enjoy reading filth directed at me, but I do know that I have a  responsibility to rid our UCO of people like this, people whose actions are condoned by those in official seats of power. Perhaps what I should do is read these aloud in the DA this coming Friday and then see the reactions of those under suspicion. If it gets worse I will be forced to return to the PBSO and cause them to take the next step but what a scandal for us here and for those who get enmeshed through their actions and statements - hate mail, hate crimes, hate language - sexual, religious, gender - dangerous areas to tread.
     Anyway, see you on the morrow.

IN THE SUMMERTIME

     It's summertime, summertime, sum, sum, summertime...." Remember the song and the happy thoughts that came along with it? Well, unfortunately, for us here in the Village, it is not such a good time. Yesterday, the NY Times wrote about the growing threat of domestic fascism, here and all over the world. I have written about that and I have written about the growing threat of fascistic tendencies here, right here in our Village. The repression, the Big Lie, the intensity of attacks on people, the blocking of access to media and I can go on, but here we are again. It is summertime, dead time in the Village, and the perfect time for David Israel to start his manipulations and machinations all over again.
     Once again we find his favorite line - " don't let the small minority" stop it all. Really? Was it a small minority who turned down the funding of this ridiculous Wi Fi quest of his? Was it a small minority that showed its displeasure with him during the election despite all the tricks and twists that were used to rid the voting delegates who were pro Phyllis? Is it a small minority that is so disgusted with this man who boasts oh so humbly of our funding of a trip to Washington for the vets but who cannot find it within himself, within his bloody cold stone of a heart to do anything in the Village for Memorial Day nor even allow public notification of a celebration and memorial going on in the Clubhouse at 12 on Monday, open to all. Such are the tactics of a true dyed in the wool fascist. Such is the man we have here. And such is the man who will be ever so offended that he is called a fascist. You know, the shoe and all, the actions and all.....
     In any case, here we are at Wi Fi again. Never mind that he tries to flim-flam all with a bunch of statistics. If my live in techie were not fast asleep I would have him come down and refute all these nonsensical and unnecessary figures and give you the data on our statistics - how fast we UPLOAD and download, how much speed we have here, how many gigabytes and megabits and all else. You see, this is his technique, trying to drown out the questions with numbers, but it does not work.
     Too many of us have all the Wi Fi we need and want, be it thru our building or thru our own choice of network, Comcast or Universe or whatever. We even have many who do not choose to have it at all and that is their right. What is not anyone's right is to foist it on a Village which already has Wi Fi . I repeat - already has it. This is yet another one of his huge and costly boondoggles that cost us so much and have now left us in a huge hole for finances. Read the Treasurer's report and see how much of a hole we are in. See how much more we need to be paying to fill in this hole and if we do not, the hammer will fall in a year or two when the roads are totally impassable and they must be done and the money, show me the money!!!!
      And yet on they babble, David and lackeys, blind as a bat to the truth. On they babble over Har Tru courts for the tennis courts - a half million dollar undertaking! Yup, you read it right. And why? The same plaint - the people are coming and they want courts and they want Wi Fi and they want this and that. Well, this is not a hotel or resort from a chain with deep pockets. This is a home, a HOME, where people might have varying pocket depths, but are not bottomless. This is a home where people realize that planting pretty flowers but allowing for scummy waters will simply not do.
     If we go thru with all these plans, these unthinking ridiculous catastrophic plans our additional costs will be over the top, thru the roof and that is before WPRF gets thru with their dream requests. Oh,, and do not forget to read all about the Levys in the Rag. Makes me throw up. And of course, for amusement, read the rag and just count the stories and pages of advertising. Sickening. Oh but do not forget to read up on yet another story of Lanny's life, definitely of interest and a necessity for the villager to know.
      Not done yet. The coup d'état of the article. Think of creative funding. Huh! Been there done that and that is why we are here now. There is no creative funding for millions of dollars. Grants? There are some but no one is waiting for CV to come along. They are highly contested and just like lottery tickets - mostly there for others and not for you.
     So do not allow a small man to fool you into funding his unnecessary plans. Do not allow a small man to take our money once again. Do not allow this man to send us into a hole that we will never dig our way out of and the next president will have a hell of a problem - and that is our problem, not just for a nebulous UCO.
     Techie talk - there are many that can do that and better than David. Put on your thinking hats and realize what we are up against as far as financial needs and planning. We do not need to put in place a redundant system. They go bananas over a few ruts in the grass, something that will happen again and again with our drivers who should not be driving and who cannot see, but the roads - nope, just let them erode more and devolve more. Sand and pebbles are nice too, huh?
     Open minds and thoughts and put this man's nefarious plans where they belong - in the trash.

PITTSBURGH - AAAAHHHH

       Let me first assure you that I am not getting paid as a publicist for the city of Pittsburgh nor is there any city official who ever heard of me. It is just me writing, the mother of a son and daughter in law and the grandmother of five delicious kids who happen to live here.
     Pittsburgh is a beautiful city. We first came to know it about 2 1/2 years ago when they moved here. The airport was awful with a weird floor, dark and dreary. But the drive into the city was stunning. I thought for sure we were headed the wrong way as it seemed as if we were driving into the Catskills, hills of different slopes, beautiful trees and the colors were unbelievable in the fall season, vivid yellows, golds, reds and oranges.
     We drove thru a tunnel and came out on a bridge which led to a view of he city all laid out in front of us. Gorgeous. As we drove thru the city towards our destination we passed thru many scenes of renewal and everywhere hills and more hills. Houses had loads of steps in the front or deep slopes in the back. The cityscape went from modern to older slim winding roads and all over were areas of green, huge pieces of land.
     My son's house has 31 steps to the front door but in the back it is flat on the ground. I get dizzy looking out of the window in one of the  attic rooms! And the surroundings? Shenley Park which is huge and itself borders on another park and is near the Oval a magnificent sports complex. The park is their "private" backyard, perfect for practicing pitching and catching without breaking glass inside or outside. The view is Nature, both conquered by man and Nature allowed to be in its natural state.
     Yesterday we took a walk - pant, pant - thru the park, along trails, up and down hills and all the while not too far from the house and the best was when we came across two deer, feeding and not afraid of us at all. They moved a bit when a runner came along but then remained. Roads thru the park were closed off to car traffic and the quiet was beautiful.
     After reaching home again and many were the times on the way back that I thought of sitting on a bench in the solitude and letting someone get a car, park and come and  get me. Those hills were intimidating, especially to one coming from flat Florida!
     The libraries, the Phibbs Conservatory, the cultural attributes - the campus grounds - it is a wonderful and beautiful place. The school they attend is creative and yet demanding, the sports opportunities, especially for the two boys, baseball phenoms who have already have a name for themselves at a young age, wonderful friends and a friendly community. If I were a kid, I might think of starting here but these hills.......
      Of course, the best part of Pittsburgh is the family we come to see, the hugs and kisses, the looks of expectation and the knowledge that of course we can fulfill those expectations and of course - their partners in crime as we combine forces against the middle generation! Love it!
     Oh, and the airport? Stunning! All remade with beautiful huge slabs of blue and grey marble cut on a bias and no clackety clack as we have in PBI. A really nice city. And good kosher pizza too!
     And by the way, they actually stop before a crosswalk and allow people to walk across without fear of their lives. Just like CV - not!

FALLACIOUS REASONING

    
     This election season is the worst ever. The negativity, the fear lest someone get into office, the loss of principles in the name of the party and some of the most ridiculous thinking ever. One of the key idiocies is the statement "anyone but Hillary" and I wonder why and what.
     Does that mean that if the head of the American Nazi party ran against Clinton that he would be a better choice or perhaps we should pick a football star or any other ridiculous choice. The inanity of it is amazing. The fact that the opponent is Trump makes no never mind.
     Trump admires Putin, a most detestable man, a dictator, an abuser of human rights, a threat to world peace and this is who Trump admires?!
     He is a man of the people, he states and he will help the common man. Really? How can a billionaire be a man of the people? Bloomberg is one but he gave loads to charity, still does, and  was a success as he worked his way up and did not waste an inheritance in many bankrupt projects. How many projects went bankrupt with Trump and this cannot be allowed to happen in a president. What should he bankrupt - the whole American economy? Better we say you're fired now, before he can perpetrate any harm on us.
     Does a man who insults women belong in that national office? Does a man who discusses the size of his genitalia belong in national office? Does a man who continues to blame the wife for the misdeeds of her husband a good match for the Oval Office? Is a man with no practical and detailed plans to back up his statements a match for the needs of the country and for that matter, that is the same problem with Sanders - no details, no practicalities.
      I can go on and on, but the point is not that none of the candidates are ideal, but that there is one who is better than the others. So yesterday the State Department said that Clinton was at fault for her private email server. Of course what the papers leave out is the fact that other Secretarys of State did the same thing. It was an accepted practice and it is harder to break into a  private server than it is to the governmental servers. That has been seen over and over again as governmental departments were hacked, brutally and massively. And for what - for items that were not classified at the time, many of which were public knowledge and a case of hindsight which was faulty anyway. Is this whole thing and its timing a mountain out of the molehill? I believe so. Think about it.
     And while you have the thinking cap on, think about what is going on in the Village. Our chillers, for the umpteenth time, are broken, need total replacement and if not - then I, for one, will not attend any shows in the theater or indeed, have anything to do with the clubhouse and in fact, we can demand our fees back as the building will be unusable. And paying for it? Thousands and thousands even as the Tennis Club demands a fancy and expensive court. No can do. And what about the pool repairs that still need to be done at the guest pool - yes, again and still - and Somerset and whatever else pops up. And do not forget the roads, the perennial roads. Even Howie O' Brien, our Treasurer, said that it will bite us at some time, no matter what we use and how we amass funds and reserve funds for projects.
     At some point the piper must be paid, the bills paid and the truth told. The fact is that we have not been prioritizing properly for years, have been overspending on projects for years and still refuse to face the fact and still have to deal with costly projects that should have been dead in their tracks already such as the Broadband, but nope, on he goes with it. Just spend money we do not have on projects we do not need nor want. Keep allowing for slow seepage of funds that pile up - software for the gates that does not work, security contracts that were the "best" ever - yet failed so we had to pay more for another one, and the list can go on and on.
     Just as the federal government and any level of government need to have process and procedure, prioritizing, and realpolitik, just as they need to choose and choose carefully and think about how to get and raise sufficient funds in a timely manner - so do we here at CV and unfortunately this has not been done, certainly not in the past 6 and a half years. And a good part of the wrong thinking and spending is that we are NOT a resort community. Yes, we have amenities, but we are not luxury nor do we have millionaires knocking down the door to buy here and give us money. We have no right to tell people they have to move if we have priced them out of the true reality of living here. If we had planned better, if we had learned to say no to WPRF and their fancy plans for Levy's property, then perhaps this would never have become an issue.
     Then of course we have the wonderful plaint of Joy Vestal who ignores the fact that she has hired a paid advertising person for The Rag, that we support many companies who do paid work for us. Nope, she has a problem with the fact that some of the club leaders have a fee for their club. Really? This is what bothers her? If the people involved want to pay for whatever it is, then what is it our business to say no. This is indeed one of the perks of the Village - the low price of these clubs. And why does it bother her if these leaders get paid? It is not as if we never pay anyone, and these are private people who are choosing to pay. In addition, WPRF gets a cut anyway! But as usual, Joy is on the wrong side of an issue.
     Country and Village, county and state - we all need a lot of work so this election season think carefully, choose wisely, with head and brain and not careless " so there" kind of thinking. Careless thinking leads to problems down the line, and many times no so far down the line either.

EYEFULS AND EARFULS

     Had a godawful time of 5:30 for a flight this morning so no time to write. Up all nite so as not to oversleep and am now working on one cylinder!But my kids over here in Pittsburgh will reenergize me, for sure! The flights this morning, to Atlanta and then to Pittsburgh were definitely the funniest ever. No problems, just a definite picture of life in these Unite States.
     First, we figured that arrival at 4:15 AM would be good enough as the place did not open before that but when we got there, people had already been sitting in their cars since 3:30AM because the airline said to arrive two hours prior to flight. Poor things. And inside, we had a line of over fifty people and by the time we finished the line was down the entire check in floor!
     So, in our seats, book out, ready to read and fly when a loud voice from the other side, front row, took over and one could not help but hear the conversation, rather one sided at that. Evidently she had never heard of the HIPPA law as I now know all there is to know about her medical history. It was fascinating. How many times she coded, her transplant, her current maladies, her parents and their reactions. It took up the entire flight so no pages were read by me at all. I did not look at her at all when we deplaned as I was too embarrassed to do so. Especially as when she got up once to use the lavatory it became clear to all who saw that she was going commando and her pants were not exactly waist high. Interesting flight.
   
     But before we leave this segment, must tell you of my seatmate. Well endowed, she took up more than her seat and overflowed onto my leg and into my air space. She shifted around constantly in her sleep and I must confess that I did not know what to do, so I kept my mouth shut and just listened to the first lady. I must say though that I really do feel that if someone is oversize, fine, but please pay for two seats.
          So, off we went to wait for the next flight and saw lots of intriguing sights. One man had a head closeshaved except for a patch in the middle and this patch had a teeny tiny ponytail or bun or whatever and no, he was wearing regular clothes, no religious thing. Another question - why are so many otherwise normal women of mature age wearing green and purple and blue hair? Any one have an answer for this?
     On to the plane. Great seat, up front, put my Times and my phone down on it and stood opposite it on the plane, in my own space, no blocking the aisle. Too much sitting already. Along come two giggling ladies who asked me if the two seats were taken. I said no and they moved in, right past me and then one takes off my paper and boarding pass and phone and tosses it onto the middle seat. Now wait a minute! I was quiet when I had someone "visit" my seat in the first flight but this was too much. I said, "Excuse me, my seat, please" and I got an answer that said that since I was standing they figured I did not care. Huh! Say what?
     Finally, ensconced in  my seat I figured I could
rest easy, but no such luck. 8:30 in the morning and these two laughing ladies asked for drinks, mimosas, vodkas, little swords and whatnot. I checked my watch for the time and then figured that I knew why they were so full of giggles. Good lord, was there a run on craziness today? But there was a good thing today. Two little girls, about 7 or 8 were flying alone to family. They asked to sit next to each other, two strangers, who then giggled the whole flight thru and comforted each other for the ear pain and the scary liftoff and turns of the planes. One little African American and one little Caucasian. Would that we could multiply them.
     Eyefuls and earfuls. Traveling these United States. Wonder what the way home will present.

Ed's Party

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YOU ASKED, GRACE - I ANSWER

     You asked a question yesterday, Grace. What, you wanted to know, did I mean when I stated that the Village needed to come together as a community to save it. From what did it needed saving. So I will be just as polite and answer you, but remember, you asked, so if you do not like the answers provided, well, the truth is sometimes hard to take. All I ask is that you open your eyes and mind to what I will be writing.      In no particular order, here are a few of the major "to save" items from our homes. Actually, first and foremost now are the waterways. They are putrid and quite frankly, I am concerned that they are beyond hope, but if a river that actually was on fire could be saved, then so perhaps might our lakes and canals. These once blue waters were the impetus for many of us to buy here, especially units along the lakes. It was beautiful and calming to sit and look out at the waters, to read a book or eat breakfast on the lanais but now? The entire Village is muttering about these scuzzy and scummy waters, these green sickly looking things filled with green gunk and no, praying for rain to get rid of algae is not an appropriate clean up method - nor does it work. The rains came and guess what is still there.
     Aeration, we are told, new fish we are told, new plants we are told, geotubes we were told, and what next? Yes, the Big Lie that states that they are improving but do not give us numbers. Numbers can so easily be made to lie. The waterways are awful, have fish deaths and we are throwing good money after bad.  It also stinks to high heavens that only the Clubhouse lake seems to be getting attention Not surprised, but you do know that most of us do not live alongside that lake and why not expand whatever the hell you are doing to the rest of the Village - or is that there is nothing working?
      Now take a walk along those waterways. Uh, please be careful as there are heaps of sand and small pebbles which impact negatively upon the balance and steadiness of elderly feet, that provide negative traction and please do not trip on the ever growing cracks within the surface of the roads and of course, after a rainfall watch where you cross the street as there are huge ponding areas where the waters gather so nicely!
     And then of course we have the eternal issue of imposed and dictated plans for broadband and Wi Fi. Despite the fact that it has been voted down, that people refused to pay monthly fees for it, the administration continues to try roundabout routes to get this thru, to impose huge fees to pay for it, to force people who already have it or people who do not and do not want it and cannot afford a thirty dollar increase on monthly payments on top of all the other increases. The area is in such flux that it behooves one to wait, see what happens, see what perhaps the government might do, wait for better security on a mass network and plan for classes before installing this - WITH the consent of the Villagers. Interesting idea that consent.
     So how about the administration of the Village? Well, that certainly needs no saving; it needs destruction and rebuilding. What we have right now is a Tammany Hall administration. The versions of nepotism, of cronyness, of good ole' boys networks (and that includes good ole' gals as well), of inefficiency or even worse, of wasteful spending and lack of process and procedure, of tricks and shenanigans - all this needs to go and soon or we will be dead in the midst of those disgusting waterways!!There is NO voice for the residents in UCO. Please, open your eyes and look at the lists of the members of committees and one will find that at least 80% are rotating zombies, voting the same way on every committee, wearing the hats of many positions - all to maintain power for one person or two or three of these people who used to threaten us with police enforcement of their positions and arrest for those who opposed them. It is a UCO which refused debate, which attempted to silence all opposition and who foam at the mouth when newspapers and leaflets and gatherings arise and tell the truth. Why is there no variety in membership on committees? Why are officers in UCO also allowed to be heads of other Village wide offices? Why? You answer that yourself, Grace and do not say that there are no other qualified people. There are many and in fact, far more qualified than those in position now.
     Why are the claques in the DA encouraged to shout out, to hiss and boo, to make nasty statements and then get no discipline, no scoldings from the bossman up there? Why is it okay for the group of people who sit in the left front of the middle seats a few rows back, why is it okay for them to make much negative noise, but should someone stand up to speak who displeases them, never mind allowing them to speak or listening politely - they just rant off and then of course, we have Jackie Carlin who sits towards the rear and shouts out negative and nasty statements. Why?Why is it that only this group cannot behave properly and why is it that they claim that another group is impolite? Truth hurts does it not?!
     Getting long here, so I will just list a few more need to be saved from issues. The wild and uncontrolled and wasteful spending of WPRF on Levy's facilities. The ignoring of crucial quality of life matters here in the Village. The lack of transparency. The rudeness of the administration, particularly at the top. The atmosphere of dictatorial repression and oppression. Why do we have Turkey's politics of cronyism rather than good old American politics of free speech, of free press, of open debate? I could go on and on, with big and small issues, but I hope you get the point. If only you and your gang would open the eyes and minds, if only. And Grace - please, do not send me one of those moronic remarks telling me to move. It is both repetitive and inane and sinks to a level that is truly insulting - to you! Just annoying to me as it is so dumb.
     Last nite I spent over 45 minutes on the phone with a complete stranger who was given my number for advice and comfort. We will talk again, but if I can do this for a stranger, why can I not do this for my home? Why? Look in the mirror, Grace, look at the anti social person sitting there in the UCO building, a man so far apart from the residents that he has no clue as to reality. Our Village needs help and the current UCO is a hindrance and a harm, not a savior. The clock is ticking.
  PS:   Well, Grace, you obviously did not understand simple words so I will try again. You sent me exactly the same message - basically to leave town. Aren't you tired of the same words and all to no avail! If I did not like it here, love it here, I would not bother. One does not expend time and energy on something which one hates. Obviously you are lacking in a major way in understanding basic human behavior. I feel for you. Try again.

SO WHAT'S TO WRITE?

     Bad night, finally fell back asleep and now it is 6:30 with an early doctor appointment awaiting so gotta move. I always try for those early slots so in and hopefully out in a reasonable time, but hate the early morning rush when I have become so used to a leisurely perusal of the paper, a running commentary and the phone calls with the kids and sister. Ahh, the sacrifices one has to make. (LOL)
     So what's new? Unfortunately nada, same old same old. Trump and Clinton are still battling it out, the spoiler Sanders is going to ruin the whole thing and I shudder to think what might possibly happen. Trump is now having very quiet talks with the Moslem camp and that is fine but...but this is the man who wants to ban them all. Not sure if that happens before or after he tosses eleven million Mexicans out of the country. Not even sure if that toss is thru a door or over the wall. And then of course, the rest of us will go arm up, sport our new six irons and patrol the country with our newfound posses.
     In the meanwhile, I guess people like me will have to undergo some reeducation as we are apparently not quite with the program, are we. After all, I do not agree with setting the social clime back to the mid 1800's. I do not believe that women need to be protected from themselves and have no rights over their own bodies. I believe that there is a segment of society that needs help, an extended hand to pull them back up to productive lives. I believe that this business of cutting off benefits after a year as one state has instituted and other states are headed to is nothing short of involuntary manslaughter or worse. What do we tell these mothers, these fathers who cannot get a job or find and are fired due to automation? What do we tell them when their kids are big eyed with hunger? What do we tell them when there is no schooling for them? Got it! We will call them Mexicans and toss them over the fence too!
     Seriously, people need to think. They need to get off this ridiculous chant of "anyone but Hillary". Why the chant? Because she is relentless in achieving her goals? Because she keeps at it and has worked her way up and persists ? In a man that would be called grit and determination but evidently not in a woman.
     And folks, crazy ideas still need to be explained. The hows and wherefores need to be laid out. Trump has not done that for ANY of his supposed plans. All he has done is waver, back and forth, shifting opinions and plans, and being ever so shifty about his income tax returns. He maintains that though he is so wealthy  he is on the side of the little guy. C'mon, you cannot possibly believe that. There is no way that he did not take advantage of every loophole in his bankruptcies, in his building, etc. Years ago when he did release a tax form guess how much he paid? Nope. Try again. Nope, try again. Yup - got it. NADA. Now where are the more recent ones and why is he so frightened of revealing them?
     Is he going to cut taxes for the middle class or for the upper class, those 1%ers? Depends on the day, I think. There is simply nothing in his program that is standing on firm and thoughtful land and basis. Is Clinton an ideal choice? Is she the best that the country can present? No, I agree, she is not. But she is the best that we have now and she does deserve credit for what she has done and achieved and in determination. And as far as her roaming Romeo of a husband - that is between them and no one else. Easy to judge so many years down the road but remember the adage of another person's shoes and the distance of a mile. She did not unzip him and tell him to go run off and play. Those actions were his deeds and choices and signs of poor character traits in many a situation. But he is not her any more than any wife or husband is each other.
     Anyway, gotta run, off for needles! Hate them! and hopefully for a better rest of the day. Hope yours is good as well and take just a bit of time to think things through and do not fall for slogans that may be catchy but say not much. Creedence Clearwater Revival sang their song Bad Moon Rising and of their dark prediction for the times. Let us not repeat those times. We must pull together as a nation and quaintly so, we must pull together as a Village if we are to save it as well.

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

     Who would have thought that these would be issues that would bend the souls of mankind? Who woulda thunk! What issues you ask? Well, as a teacher of grammar and structure of language I can tell you that there is no such tense. As a teacher of literature and the use of language, this might be called an oxymoron, but is it really? So if there are no declensions, no conjugations, no easy amo, amas, amat, then what meaning do we derive from that phrase.
     The future is a time when things can and will hopefully improve. It is a time during which we hope the problems of mankind will be solved and done so in a positive manner. It is a time when hopefully all that we have learned from the past will help us build a better future. but is that all?
     The past is what must be studied in order to avoid making the same mistakes, to prevent bringing them into the present and future. But again, do we really do that? There are so many statements and thoughts by historians and philosophers about the errors of ignoring the past and the errors made and just as many and more people who state that the past is where we need to go, to go backwards even as we are supposed to be stepping forward.
     When I was a kid we all played together, all the kids on the block. We made up games in the temper of the times so there was much cowboys and Indians going on. But we had an interesting version. To be fair, the Indians won just as often and when we were running out of the caps for the guns we all decided that the time for peacemaking had come, powwows were held and we all ran off for money to buy ice cream off the truck we heard coming. It was a time when I could still ride my bike alone, a kid of nine and ten, just a few blocks and find a semi rural area, of a small farm besides a hospital, of dirt roads and older, picturesque homes.
     Is this the past we all are thinking about? That magic time of childhood for those who were lucky enough to have it? I think not. For the past that many people think of is the past of war, constant fighting, death and threats. It is the past of the Balkanization of the nations of the world and tell me how it is any different now when small states are made even smaller when a minority decides that it needs its own nation of several square whatever and then within them there is another minority and on it goes. Yes, borders were often drawn by outsiders, victors in wars who had no comprehension of local politics and affairs, but have we learned nothing from all this? Nothing at all? 
     The results are plain to see. The tribes and the sects of the Middle East are exploding. The tribes of Africa are warring against each other.The ethnicities of the Balkans and the eastern former SSRs of the Soviet Union are warring against each other. And even here, in America, we are splintering, becoming a mass of interests, each pushing against the other. Even as we look around and see a society that has supposedly become more open, freer for people who had never had the opportunity to be so free and open, even as that is happening, just do a smell test. Sniff a bit more deeply and you will smell the sulfur and the stink of prejudice, of violence, of lies, of self interest, of selfishness and of the lack of sincerely good and capable people to step up and help us back on track. Nope. We continue to fall for the Big Lie and hope others will do the thinking for us, do the hard work, carry the heavy load and let us go on with our own little lives.
     The Big Lie then becomes endemic and epidemic in all levels of government. We just allow it to happen. It is easier to accept than to fight. An example locally - our waterways in the Village are horrendous. They are green and scummy, bridges over canals are crumbling and we are told that we need to fix the tire marks on a curbing and that we are lucky that we have had rain so the effects of the algae are less noticeable! Really? I do not want to depend on rain to have cleaner and bluer lakes. I want the lakes and canals to once again reflect the blue of the sky and to do that we must fight back against the Big Lie we hear about how it is all getting better, the aerators are working. Not really by me!
     In larger areas we are told that development is good for us so that it now seems that everywhere there is a patch of grass or a few trees reaching up towards the sky and giving us oxygen to breathe, then suddenly one day there are no trees, only sand and the noise of bulldozers and the planting of palm trees that do nothing and provide no shade and more office buildings are built though others are still empty, or more developments are built when there are homes still abandoned that could be fixed up and resold at lower costs.
     Days of future past? The future past is actually the present, the NOW. We need to discern the Big Lies and reject them. For everyone to be strapped, with guns hanging from the waist or belted to thighs, to be up sleeves and by shoulders, or even to be permitted to walk the streets of our country with rifles slung over the shoulder - this is not the way to safety. This is not the thing to do - to bring back high noon! The Big Lie is that guns bring safety. They do not, not when there is no control over them. Yes, there is a right to own a gun or several if one wishes, but certainly not someone who suffers from mental or emotional sickness, or was convicted of a felony. Having guns allowed en masse on college campuses and even in high school is not the way to go, emphatically not.
     Days of future past can be good if we pick and choose carefully, if we decide to make the present a time of true hope, of truth in government, a time when our best and brightest are encouraged to run for office, when public service is once again an honor and a privilege. This is not only our problem here in CV or in Palm beach County or Florida or even the States. It is a world wide issue, one that must be tackled at home before nations go out to solve the problems of others. Remember the splinter in another's eye and the plank that is in one's own eyes. Let us see clearly and look at and solve our own problems and then go on to help others, but not to insist and demand and impose, but to work together and no, guns are not the answer. Yes, they have a purpose; I will be the first to say so and I have my own, but there are other ways, better ways to go. Let our future be a new one, not a reflection of the past or the difficulties and hatreds of the present. Future past? Future present? Nope, definitely not. Future new and bright? Yup. Why not? It is amazing what hard work and serious intent can bring about.

TELL ME IT AIN'T SO - PLEASE!

     Yesterday I read a review of the book Tribes which discusses much about the fact or thought or reality that we are a society at war with ourselves, internecine warfare and where do we go from here? That was depressing enough as I truly feel that that is a statement of fact, a threatening fact, a worrisome fact, not only for us here in America but for the entire world. People look to the USA for guidance, for idealism, for principles, and if we lose them, or indeed have already lost them beyond the point of no return, then where does the rest of the world go and what happens then.
     There are always groups within groups. That is what makes the world go round. There are people who can deal with opposition, different ideas, discussion and debate and there are those who cannot, who will not, for fear? For fascistic tendencies and the desire to be dictators? For all sorts of nefarious reasons including megalomania or even the other way around - for deep seated insecurities. For the need to feel important? These people are found all over the world from right here in CV to the head of Russia through the dictators of Africa, the would be controllers of American society and their political parties and that includes Trump and Sanders who is turning out to be quite a nasty character indeed.
     These intolerant people, these dangerous people have unfortunately gained in power and influence these past years and it is indeed unfortunate and we, the rest of us, must speak up, stand up or we will lose that chance. Recently a famous historian, Fritz Stern, passed away. He was a man chased out of Germany because his family, though converted, could not run away from their background and thus had to run away from Germany. His life when he grew up became dedicated to the study of what makes a society trend towards totalitarianism, in particular, the land of his birth, Germany. He tried, in his writings, to understand all that had happened and why it had happened and worse, what made these seemingly ordinary men take such enthusiastic roles in it and why others, rare others, did not. He particularly felt that the political and cultural elites of society were the ones on whose shoulders rested the blame for society turning rotten, for allowing it to do so, for leading it down these horrific paths. These "guardians" of civilization failed, in their assigned role and opened wide the gates of tyranny.
     Look at today's society and who are our leaders, our ostensible "guardians". Scary thing to do. We have Trump who once wished to have a black vs white team on his reality show. Idiot! He who has backers from the Klan, from bigots and scary morons, whose followers and supporters first trashed Julia Ioffe and then Jonathan Silverman, a distinguished editor of the Times, with all sorts and manners of anti Semitic trash and filth all thru Twitter. We are told that the "kikes are next after the Mexicans and the Moslems". Pictures and cartoons are sent with blood libel raising its ugly head again, with gates of a concentration camp having the motto "Maken Amerika Great" and the rest I cannot even begin to rewrite. These are bad enough.
     And where are the people of the world, of America, those who still have a conscience, who still know right from wrong? I have no clue! Their whereabouts seem to become more of a mystery day by day. And on the other side we have members of a major political party, the Republicans, who turn down a bill insuring the rights of LGBT members of society, or a bill which subjects doctors who perform abortions to felony charges. Then we have a self hating Jew who is insisting upon threat of more violence, that the Democrats become more "even handed" in its treatment of Israel. Does he think he is immune to all this, that when they call out all the Jews they will leave him alone? Remember, the Jewish police, the kapos, the poor Sonderkommandos were all put to death before the Nazis picked up and ran away. There is no hiding from hate. There just isn't.
    So what do we do? Do we allow people like Putin to achieve more and more power as he dreams his crazy dream of making a Great Russia once again? Do we allow these waves of hate to keep inundating the world? And remember, hate has no boundaries. It keeps on going like an evil energy bunny and not so cute either. Or do we build walls to keep 11 million Mexicans out - and make them pay for it. That was the same policy the Nazis used, levying a "tax" on the Jewish communities for the damages of Krystallnacht or sending the families a bill for the bullets used to kill a loved one. Do we go down that road again? Are we going to deport millions of people and dump them as Jews were dumped in the no-man's land between Poland and Germany? Let them starve?And lest you think that there is a level of exaggeration here, take a deep and calm look back at our world over the past few years and see what has been developing.
     "Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people that want to be important." T. S. Eliot
Perhaps we need to decide on better blueprints for who we want to be important in the life of the world. Perhaps we had better do that quickly, very quickly. I really do not wish to be down the road some few years in the future and be saying told you so as the world goes to hell in a  handbasket and I for sure do not want to be asking the question of G-d, "why is there no room for the Jews anywhere on Your planet? Why have You rained down more horror, allowed more death to befall them, Your people, the People of Your Book?" Think I know not of what I speak? Go check history. I pray I am wrong. I pray that this hatred of each other, this gender bashing of women, these restrictions of rights and the ever increasing violence of language and the rising level of violence all go away and the good people of this earth, this tiny orb spinning thru space, can actually mount a comeback. I know good people. They are here. They just have to wake up and speak up and realize that some other people are just evil to their core and need to be resisted.
     Not a good day for hope or decency or gentleness today. Would that tomorrow would be any better. We can hope, we can pray, and we can be aware.

WERE MY TEACHERS CORRECT?

       Every teacher of literature from eighth grade on who taught me about Shakespeare, taught me his principle of Nature and the world. One even went so far as to dig thru weather records and match them to events in the world at the time. Did Nature affect the world of Man or did Man affect the strange events of Nature? It led to good discussions and in our present times, what with the very strange weather patterns and events we have been seeing and the strange current events and situations and conditions of the world, perhaps we need to explore that issue again. Oh for Professor Boughner one more time!
     As I sit looking at my computer screen and listening to the thunder and the pouring rain, seeing the flash of the lightning, and remembering last night's crazy drive? boat trip? down the Turnpike I wonder as well. What influences what? Are we the causal factor or the receptive factor? Does it make a difference in the end?
     Weather is weather, yes, and if one looks into history there were times that even for years the weather settled into patterns that greatly affected man and man had done nothing to create that weather. The freezing winters and the prolonged droughts. Read the history of the British Isles and understand. Look into European history and see the same thing. Man had no cars, no planes and the only polluting of the atmosphere came from the coal and peat burning for warmth and cooking and the wood fires as well, but unless it was concentrated in an area such as London, it was not enough to affect the weather so what do we say about our times?
     Man certainly can affect the weather patterns by excesses, yes, but perhaps we are in for another cycle of the weather, a natural occurrence throughout the recorded millennia. Tornados where they never were, flooding and excess rain, lack of rain and snow cover, plant habitats changing and moving and so what do we do to plan for the future?
     Well, we can become home farmers like my Farmer Roni up there on Long Island, but seriously, it is something that must be investigated and planned for. We must think carefully about what we are doing and what we must do. But most of us roll merrily along, denying the facts in front of us - as we do with most everything else in our lives unless it suits us to pay attention.
     Be it a struggle, an inner struggle , to define the path of Orthodoxy amongst Jews (bet you did not know that was happening, did you?) or a struggle to finally get things going properly amongst the people of our nation, an election war, and I use that word purposely - we must pay attention to the words and actions of the candidates and of those who are their backers. The weather, the thunder and lightning is telling us so and do we need one to strike us on our heads before we pay attention?
     So Trump goes to an interview on TV with the very woman broadcaster he insulted, truly nasty insults along with Attitude. He thinks he apologizes when he says that maybe he should have stated some remarks in other ways, but what the hey! I got attention and votes and was successful so what I said was right! Huh!!! This is what so many people voted for? This is what they want? The Whatever Works policies of a fascist, of people who lie for breakfast if it will serve their purpose? Is this what is in our future? If so, expect stormy weather, folks!
     And what about Sanders, he of the liberal bent, the man of the people, the only one who truly cares for them - or so he likes to portray himself. His supporters did not like Nevada results so what to do? Try harder in another state? Recognize that they were defeated here and move on, the nature of the game? Nope. They turned to violence and his reaction - well, it gets his policies attention so maybe they will be incorporated into the platform planks. So in other words, let it rip! Really? This is the liberal who is "inspiring" the young? G-d help us all.
     And then we have Clinton and especially the whole email issue, a tempest in a teapot. First of all, it seems to me that no matter what our government does our most secure sites are just not secure so who should we nail to the cross for that negligence? And what was sent? Thousands of emails - unclassified at the time and even when reclassifying - and how and why does that happen anyway - only found out of the thousands sent approximately 200+ that could possibly have been classified in some category but people, when Al Jazeera publishes the very same information before the email, how is that secret or confidential? Yes, it was careless, but yes, it was also a practice in the government for years!!
Do we need to install better security and procedures. Of course. I am always pushing process and procedure - even here in CV - and maintain that our lack of it here in CV is the main reason for much of our messes. But then again, the lacks found in our federal government related to that have come here along with their booster, have they not??
     In any case, Hillary Clinton said she is willing and ready to sit down for an interview with the FBI so why the dragging it out and an FBI investigation and a Congressional investigation? All the better to waste our money and garner airtime. All the better for the Republicans to change the focus from their pathetic and dangerous candidate onto other issues. All the better to try to hide the fact that the Republicans have lost their principles and all their screaming that we must do something about Trump has now deteriorated into little whimpers of oh, we must support the Party, we must support him no matter that he makes us vomit, no matter how bad he will be for the country. The Party! The Party! Is this the American tradition? Perhaps we need to continue that tradition and found a new party, something that has been done throughout our history but have we the courage to do that? I dunno, perhaps we do need that strike of lightning on our collective heads to wake us up. The weather is even being cooperative in this matter by turning nuts and just waiting to give us that strike.
     Well, at least the United Methodist Church finally did the right thing and voted not to support an anti Semitic organization that chooses to defame and destroy Israel and support terrorists and the Mayo Clinic has recognized the advances of Israel and its start up companies, especially in the medical field and will have a joint venture initiative with them.
     Remember when we were kids and loved to stomp in puddles and splash ourselves muddy up to our necks? Remember how we would run with our tongues out to catch the drops of rain? Where is that joy in Nature now? And where is the innocence of those times? Gone somewhere, but can we bring it back? Do we have a chance? Only if we try, only if we try.

TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES

     Why is it that the idea, the act of telling the truth seems to be so difficult for some? The truth of the matter is that the truth always, always, comes out, even if it takes time and even the worst evildoers in the modern world, the Nazis, knew that the truth would out though they tried to hide it by burning and burying and scattering and explosions. But it did not help. So why is it that people still think that they can lie their way out of a situation?
     This avoidance of truth appears to be endemic to the world, local to international. When the hand is in the cookie jar and the crumbs are scattered on the face and clothing of the thief, there is still that tendency to lie. Why? I cannot understand it and quite frankly, have  a great deal of aversion to those who do not tell the truth. If there was anything I tried to teach my kids, biological and educational, it was to tell the truth - always - and take the punishment that was coming their way but to understand that it would have been worse had they lied about it.
     Would that our politicians would accept that precept and promise. Here in CV we have been promised transparency. So where is it? Is that IFI supposed to be it, a sudden appearance of some proposals for painting of UCO and  doors for the guardhouse, two small contracts? Are these a sop to what should be, such as the RFPs for cable, for roads, for repaving of bus stops, for serious spending? And these proposals were so varied the question then arises what exactly was the RFP looking like? Was it still the clumsy inadequate one that Jack Adams has been trying to fix lo these many a year and constantly ignored? If so, then why. Please, the truth.
     I would like the truth about the waterways. Granted, for the past few weeks, even months, we have been pretty dry, never mind yesterday and today. The level of the lakes and canals is low, yes, but NEVER before have we had such scummy green brackish waters. When I came  back on Monday to the Village, as I opened the blinds I took a look at Wellington Lake and GROSS!! It looks like the green and scummy ponds one sees off site somewhere, contaminated and abandoned, ignored and polluted. Never before has it gotten to this point. What do we need to do? Should we take a couple of buckets of the skim of it over to UCO and David's office and over to Eva's office, so perhaps they will understand. People from that camp are always whining about the resale value, but let me clue you in on this. The resale value of the homes around Wellington Lake are definitely adversely affected by these disgusting waters. Put that in your pipe and smoke it and then come up with the new excuses and avoidance of the truth. And by the way, do not forget the risk of insect problems such as Zika virus mosquitoes that just love standing water. More food for them, more breeding grounds for them. And look at the bodies just hanging around the waterways! Us!!!
     Our politicians and lawmakers at the county and state levels are mostly no better. Yes, we have a couple here or there that actually serve the people but where are the rest? Gone to parties and deals and pork barrels and shady deals and pocket lining and shedding their remaining principles at a fast rate. The nasty atmosphere that this engenders is then reflected in the bills passed at the state level such as the new South Carolina bill that made it illegal to have abortions after 19 weeks - 19! And no exceptions for rape or incest either unless the mother's life is at stake. How generous! We worry where people will pee, evidently wanting people to have their birth certificates with them and then what? Check their genitalia? Will we have a new government department for this? An equivalent to TSA? Where are we going with this? What is the matter with us? For Pete's sake, just put doors on all stalls and everyone can have privacy, even if a transgender has still not completed the final steps. Where does this end?
     It will end with a Fascist at our helm, one who denies the truth, is an expert at lies and who wants, and indeed needs, to squelch all opposition and their speech. Hmmm, sound familiar? It will make it illegal to criticize the government and begin by coming back at critics with nastiness and threats. When Julia Ioffe's article about Trump and his wife Melania came out with some information that Melania wanted to be kept on the QT, wow!!! the reaction was ballistic - and heaped with anti Semitic slurs and remarks as Ioffe happens to be Jewish and no, I am sorry, for the excuse for this   to be the constant refrain that his daughter is now Jewish and he has Jewish grandchildren - uh uh, no go, no good, for history records too many times how Jewish relatives and in-laws, spouses and children were left by the wayside in order to make one's way thru life.
     One of my grandsons, a flaming liberal, exactly where and what he should be at 18, said half jokingly that if Trump won the election, would he then end up in an internment camp for reeducation. I laughed, but maybe it is not so funny, not when there are statements such as this one: He’s not Hitler,” she said. “He wants to help America. He wants to unite people. They think he doesn’t but he does. Even with the Muslims, it’s temporary.” Lordy, Lordy. Is that where we are at, that hate is temporary? That it will go away when the time is right? Hate to blow it all, but that never happens in real life.

     As for the rest of the world, just look at it. Where has truth gone? Russia is indignant that its entry to Eurovision did not win, and worse, the winning song was from the Ukraine, entitled 1944, referring to the tragedy suffered by the grandmother of the singer, Jamala, a Tatar, referring to the behavior of the Russians and the Soviets to the Tatars in the Crimea. They whine, not fair and why is everyone picking on us, making up lies that our athletes engaged in state sponsored doping at athletic competitions for years and that our planes are playing not so nicely with other planes and the list goes on. Despite the fact that these accusations are true, Russia denies it - cookie crumbs and all. And how are others to react? How is Poland to trust that they will not be invaded again or Hungary or the three Baltic Republics?

     Palestinian officials say they want  peace but first they have to have all their conditions met and then they will come to the table. That is like a kid eating up his sister's chocolate bar and then saying let's talk about it. Are there consequences? Yes, not pleasant ones, not for anyone, but truth seems to be fleeting and difficult to catch at times.
     Truth and consequences. I wish the consequences were clearer and fairer and quicker on the uptake. Don't you? And if not, then ask yourself - why not?

GUEST POSTING PART II

     Now continuing with the second part of the guest posting. Read and think.

"Psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s — personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence — that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship. The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.
The first P is personalization — the belief that we are at fault. This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do. This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.
When Dave died, I had a very common reaction, which was to blame myself. He died in seconds, from a cardiac arrhythmia. I poured over his medical records asking what I could have — or should have — done. It wasn’t until I learned about the three P’s that I accepted that I could not have prevented his death. His doctors had not identified his coronary artery disease. I was an economics major; how could I have?
Studies show that getting past personalization can actually make you stronger. Not taking failures personally allows us to recover — and even to thrive.
The second P is pervasiveness — the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.
The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible. So 10 days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work. I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze. All I could think was, “What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?” But then I got drawn into the discussion, and for a second — a brief split second — I forgot about death.
That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful. My children and I were healthy. My friends and family were so loving, and they carried us — quite literally, at times.
The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women. So many single mothers — and fathers — struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don’t allow them the time they need to care for their children. I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it’s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook. Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.
The third P is permanence — the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.
We often project our current feelings out indefinitely — and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings. We feel anxious — and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious. We feel sad — and then we feel sad that we’re sad. Instead, we should accept our feelings — but recognize that they will not last forever. My rabbi told me that time would heal, but for now I should “lean in to the suck.” It was good advice, but not really what I meant by “lean in.”
But I wish I had known about the three P’s when I was your age. There were so many times these lessons would have helped.
One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be. This was completely counterintuitive; it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts. “Worse?” I said. “Are you crazy? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” Wow. The moment he said it, I felt overwhelming gratitude that my family was alive. That gratitude overtook some of the grief.
Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience. People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier. It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings. My New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night. This simple practice has changed my life. Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful.
Last month, 11 days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine. We were sitting — of all places — on a bathroom floor. I said: “Eleven days. One year ago, he had 11 days left. And we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had 11 days left.
As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had 11 days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and party all the time. I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be. How precious every day actually is.

As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true. I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always — right here, where I can touch it. I never knew I could cry so often — or so much.
But I am also aware that I am walking without pain. For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out — grateful for the gift of life itself. I used to celebrate my birthday every five years, and friends’ birthdays sometimes. Now I celebrate always. I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day — and trust me, that list was often quite long. Now I try hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.
It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude — gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children. My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude — not just on the good days, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.

I hope that you live your life — each precious day of it — with joy and meaning. I hope that you walk without pain — and that you are grateful for each step.
And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow. You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are — and you just might become the very best version of yourself."

     Inspiring, is it not? I hope you enjoyed these two postings as much as I did.

PREGNANT AND HOMELESS IN NYC

     That was the writing on the sign by a couple of quilt wrapped bodies, hopefully alive, surrounded by what appeared to be their worldly belongings. In Penn Station itself there were several homeless men sleeping on the floor in midday, smack in the middle of a busy Sunday afternoon. The pregnant couple were on Seventh Avenue on the other side of a construction barricade.
     I wondered to myself if we were starting this routine all over again as it had been in the 70's and 80's when one could not walk almost anywhere in the five boros and not see a homeless person or several, just hanging out or pushing wagons loaded with more bags and bundles than one could imagine possible. In fact, we passed a couple doing just that on their way to who knows where.
     I am not naïve nor dumb and I know that there are homeless around and I know that unfortunately the number is growing apace and there was just an article about the epidemic in San Francisco and the banding together of the varied media to fight this plague, demand and get some programs going, but I wonder if this will really help, these limited spot on programs.
     The question is why? Why are there homeless, not by choice but by unfortunate circumstances, today, here in the USA? I am not talking of those who fall into the grip of addictions and lose everything or of those who roam by choice for some quirk of their own. No, I am talking of those who fall thru the safety net, who have run afoul of the state and federal programs that have become smaller and more red taped than ever. They have lost jobs or even hold jobs though they pay too little to keep an apartment or home, feed the family and everything else we, at least most of us, take for granted.
     So why, instead of sending money to starving kids in Africa or Asia as the ads ask, why are we not taking care of our own children here in the USA? Why are we not demanding that true programs and safeguards be set up. It is wonderful that poorer areas of the cities are being reclaimed, gentrified, but not at the expense of those living there already who are priced out, lose their jobs, their homes all to make way for the wealthier members of society. Why should we see a sign pregnant and homeless in NYC? Granted, one might think or wonder why she got pregnant in a situation like this for after all, did we not space our children, wait to have them till we were in proper circumstances? Yes, we struggled and yes, the kids today are struggling - in the same way that the homeless are, though not on that level, thank G-d.
     But perhaps this person was pregnant before she became homeless? Or perhaps she went to a Planned Parenthood clinic for aid in preventing conception  or to the nearby free clinic but they were closed due to crazy demands, unthinking demands and shouts of people crazed over the right of choice? See, before we judge, we need to examine and check the story behind those quilt wrapped homeless expectant people. We need to ask why we cannot help that single mother forced out of her home and  trying to keep body and soul together, not only hers but also those of her two kids.
    So before we choose in the elections, on any level, perhaps we need to ask what will they do not for the fatcats, not for those who have overseas accounts, not for those who have 6 homes and five cars. Not for those who downsize and outsource and are happy when the bottom line of the company improves - over the firings of thousands. We need people who have ideas and have the guts and ways and means to do this. We need good ideas but also good ideas as to how to achieve them. We need honesty so Trump, where the hell are your tax forms? Bernie Sanders, where the hell are your realistic plans to achieve all that you put forth? And Hillary Clinton, do you agree with some of these ideas and will you see to their implementation? I believe that of the three, the only safe one is Clinton, though it seems that lately in national elections all we have been doing is choosing the lesser of two evils. Sad state.
     (By the way, I will put on the last part of today's earlier posting sometime tomorrow. Interesting, is it not?)
     In any case, people, we need to ask hard questions and to demand answers that make sense and that are realistic, practical and necessary. No more spending on nonsense, not in the local area such as CVWPB as has been done and still continues, not in the county or state and not in the federal government. Spend, yes, but properly and to help those who need help and set up the situation that help will improve the condition and even eliminate it rather than bandaid it. We need the best minds that our country has to offer. We need to use the earnestness and gung ho attitude of the young and the wisdom of the experienced, but not their ennui or sarcasm, their weariness. We need to have a Sputnik program as we did in the  60's and zoom somewhere quickly and steadily. Pregnant and homeless in NYC? Please, is it not time that we eliminate this issue? Properly and permanently, lending hands and ladders up rather than simply handouts and tsk tsks? There but for the grace of G-d people, there but for the grace.
     Interesting note that on Tuesday the NY Times has an editorial about homelessness and how something must be done about it. It mentions how programs are being CUT rather than enhanced in a positive and constructive manner. What to do? Who the hell knows, but we cannot just shake our heads and walk away - or can we, will we?

GUEST POSTING

     PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL BE TRAVELING TODAY AND WILL POST MY OWN POSTING LATER ON IN THE AFTERNOON. IN THE MEANWHILE HERE IS THE FIRST PART OF A FASCINATING SPEECH THAT WAS GIVEN BY A SPEAKER AT A COMMENCEMENT ANDFITS INWELL WITH WHA I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE.

Sheryl Sandberg, the chief operating officer of Facebook and author of “Lean In,’’ delivered the commencement speech at the University of California, Berkeley, on Saturday. Below is an edited version of her remarks.

I am not here to tell you all the things I’ve learned in life. Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death.

One year and 13 days ago, I lost my husband, Dave. His death was sudden and unexpected. We were at a friend’s 50th birthday party in Mexico. I took a nap. Dave went to work out. What followed was the unthinkable — walking into a gym to find him lying on the floor. Flying home to tell my children that their father was gone. Watching his casket being lowered into the ground.

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For many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief — what I think of as the void — an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to breathe.
Dave’s death changed me in profound ways. I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss. But I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again. I learned that in the face of the void — or in the face of any challenge — you can choose joy and meaning.
I’m sharing this with you in the hope that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I learned only in death. Lessons about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be extinguished.

You will almost certainly face deep adversity. There’s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn’t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an instant. There’s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it happens. There’s loss of love. And sometimes there’s loss of life itself.
The question is not if some of these things will happen to you. They will. Today I want to talk about what happens next. About the things you can do to overcome adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits you. The easy days ahead of you will be easy. It is the hard days — the times that challenge you to your very core — that will determine who you are. You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.

A few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about a father-son activity that Dave was not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave.” Phil put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”
We all at some point live some form of option B. The question is: What do we do then?

PART TWO WILL FOLLOW LATER THIS WEEK.